Triple Kelly
Vegeta
Not once, twice, but three times a Kelly
Posts: 9,470
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Post by Triple Kelly on Jun 14, 2006 20:52:12 GMT -5
"The beard stays, YOU go!"
I also love going mad with the very moderate amount of power I have.
Bottom line is, Kids in the Hall was and still is the greatest sketch comedy show to ever come out of North America.
-Kelly
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Post by Smart Mark Greene on Jun 14, 2006 20:57:40 GMT -5
"I once shot a man just to watch him die. Then I got distracted and missed it. Sure, my friends all tried to describe it to me, but it wasn't the same..."
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Post by Psy on Jun 14, 2006 20:57:41 GMT -5
It's so hard to choose... I loved the answering machine skit where he goes nuts on his wife and rides her down and it gets put on the answering machine message.
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Post by Brick Killed a Guy on Jun 14, 2006 21:01:28 GMT -5
Four Words: "I squish your head!"
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Post by gsguy on Jun 14, 2006 21:01:57 GMT -5
It's so hard to choose... I loved the answering machine skit where he goes nuts on his wife and rides her down and it gets put on the answering machine message. "If Shakespere were alive, he'd be writing answering mechine messages!" My fav though is I'm crushing your head. |
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Triple Kelly
Vegeta
Not once, twice, but three times a Kelly
Posts: 9,470
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Post by Triple Kelly on Jun 14, 2006 21:03:51 GMT -5
It's so hard to choose... I loved the answering machine skit where he goes nuts on his wife and rides her down and it gets put on the answering machine message. Oh I loved it. "Eeek Eeek. We're out monkeying around. Leave your message at the Eeek and we'll get back to you" "That was terrible. You never finish anything you start." "Yes I do". "You dropped out of college, you only took one vegetarian cooking class, it's embarassing". -Kelly |
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Post by Psy on Jun 14, 2006 21:04:58 GMT -5
Dave: Hi, I'm just writing a letter to someone in hospital. You know it's always kinda hard to find the right words to say. You know, somehow "how's the weather in the hospital? Sure is nice outside" just doesn't work. But you gotta try, you know, you gotta show your concern. So here's what I got so far: "Dear Guy I Clotheslined As You Went By on Your Bicycle. You don't know me, but I'm the guy who broke your collarbone. Now, I've asked myself over and over, why did I clothesline that guy? Perhaps I watched too much slapstick as a kid and expected you to get up after being violently assaulted. Imagine my confusion when you did not. Although not so confused that I'd actually hang around. In all fairness, it was pretty funny. I mean the last thing you'd expect as you were riding merrily by on your bike is that someone you didn't know at all would stick out his arm and crush your throat. I mean, you really should've seen it, it was just like, wham! bam!
[chuckles]
Dave: Anyway... in closing, as you lay there convalescing in your hospital be, I'm forced to wonder, what were you doing riding your bike on the sidewalk anyway? Huh, ya asshole? SideWALK?Maybe sometimes we bring heartache upon ourselves. Signed, the guy that collapsed your trachea."
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Post by Spankymac is sick of the swiss on Jun 14, 2006 21:05:31 GMT -5
Four Words: "I squish your head!" < Brilliant. Easily my favorite. |
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Triple Kelly
Vegeta
Not once, twice, but three times a Kelly
Posts: 9,470
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Post by Triple Kelly on Jun 14, 2006 21:10:46 GMT -5
I liked Bruce McCulloch's open letter to the person or persons that stole his bike wheel. And then his open letter to those who watched the person or persons whom stole his bike wheel.
-Kelly
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Post by Psy on Jun 14, 2006 21:11:17 GMT -5
Alien #1: We've been coming here for 50 years and performing anal probes, and all that we have learned is that one in ten doesn't really seem to mind.
Girl: Wanna know somethin'?
[Runs up to the camera]
Girl: It's a fact. The Queen of England doesn't know her ABC's anymore.
[Ducks]
Queen Of England: [singing] A-B-C-D-X-P-Q, R-X-Y-D...
[spoken]
Queen Of England: Hello.
[sings]
Queen Of England: R... E...
[sings]
Queen Of England: Rule, Brittania.
Girl: [comes back up] Sad, eh? She's old. It's a fact.
[Runs off]
Mr. B: An optimist says, "The drink is half full." A pessimist says, "The drink is half full, but I might have bowel cancer."
Dave: Well, this is the place I've been telling you about.
Kevin: Yeah, it's really nice. So, what do you eat when you come here?
Dave: Well, I'll tell ya. If you're gonna eat here, you've got to try the crapty Soup.
Kevin: crapty Soup?
Dave: Oh yeah, everyone that comes here has the crapty Soup.
Kevin: It doesn't sound that great.
Dave: Oh, it's not, it's awful. That's why they call it "crapty."
Daddy: Hey, son, you know how you've been bugging me to go and get you a puppy? Well, today after work, I went out and I bought you one. But on the way home, I got hungry and I ate him! I'm joking; I'd never buy you a puppy.
And the best one ever....
Guy #1: I know it's a cliché, but my favorite album of all time is still "Sgt. Pepper's."
Guy #2: "Sgt. Pepper's"? What's that?
Guy #1: Only the Beatles' most famous album!
Guy #2: I'm sorry, the Beatles? Who are they?
Guy #1: The best group of the sixties!
Guy #2: Oh, the sixties. I didn't hear much music in the sixties.
Guy #1: What are you talking about?
Guy #2: Well, dad always was a little crazy. After the car accident he started medication and things got worse. One night he woke me up and knocked me out. He brought me down to the basement where I lived for the next ten years. I heard no music, I had no friends. They shoved food under the door so I had to eat pancakes and pizza. It was awful, but I survived.
Guy #1: Gee, I'm sorry. I, uh, didn't know.
Guy #2: Of course I've heard of the Beatles, you retard!
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Post by Dr. Marzvon Zombie M.D. on Jun 14, 2006 21:19:16 GMT -5
I would think my fav sketch was cabage head getting his brains shot out lmao that was the funniest thing ever
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Post by mcclanahan on Jun 14, 2006 21:39:08 GMT -5
"The beard stays, YOU go!" I also love going mad with the very moderate amount of power I have. Bottom line is, Kids in the Hall was and still is the greatest sketch comedy show to ever come out of North America. -Kelly I completely agree with your final statement, I miss that show  "I'm crushing your head" is still my fav though just because it was what the first episode I saw as a kid was based around, I didn't like "I'm pinching your face" from said episode though that guy was such a poser  |
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Post by SHAKEMASTER TV9 is Don Knotts on Jun 14, 2006 21:48:09 GMT -5
Most anything with Bobby Terrance. Buddy Cole stuff, specifically when he hit the homerun that the lesbiens softball game.
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Doomrider
Hank Scorpio
I wanna bang Marla.
Posts: 6,058
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Post by Doomrider on Jun 14, 2006 22:35:27 GMT -5
I'd have to go with the "These Are the Daves I Know" song.
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Blindkarevik
Grimlock
Rock... Paper... Straight-edge!
I Like To <blank>
Posts: 14,343
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Post by Blindkarevik on Jun 14, 2006 23:02:44 GMT -5
** Horribly paraphrased, so bear with me **
Kevin McDonald: We here at Kids In The Hall are not just a comedy troupe.. we are also scientists. And through some intense research we are pleased to announce that we have found the cause of cancer. Bruce... Bruce McCullogh, will you come out here please?
** Bruce comes out **
Kevin: Do you have something to say to these people?
Bruce: Yeah.. sorry about all the cancer.
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Post by Milkman Norm on Jun 14, 2006 23:03:36 GMT -5
Anything with Simon and Hecubus(?) Kevin and Dave as the evil underworld people. The first chicken lady sketch at the mall (mame i'm the assistant manger at baskin-robins, please come with me) a family sketch where Dave is the son who might not be retarded, Scott is the mom, I think Mark was the Dad and Bruce was the old granpda who popped for the first time in like 15 years and had his poop on the table before he dropped it and the dog eat it. On second thought Scott might have been the Dad and Kevin the mom.
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Post by Virt McGirt on Jun 14, 2006 23:19:27 GMT -5
Dave: FOR I...HAVE A GOOD ATTITUDE...TOWARDS MENSTRUATION! (The whole monologue was funny, but thats the only part I can remember  ) |
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Post by Stu on Jun 15, 2006 0:26:01 GMT -5
One word: ERADICATOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nine words: "You know in France, people only have one spoon."
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Millie D
El Dandy
Something VERY special.
I Love Glee!
Posts: 8,923
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Post by Millie D on Jun 15, 2006 1:12:53 GMT -5
two words...' MY PEN!!"
I love that skit when Bruce's character runs after his pen when he loans it to Kevin..... how freakin funny was that?
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Post by Stu on Jun 15, 2006 1:43:40 GMT -5
two words...' MY PEN!!" I love that skit when Bruce's character runs after his pen when he loans it to Kevin..... how freakin funny was that? He licks it. No, he sticks it in his ear. NO, he stabs someone! |
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helped $lim jinx NXT. Woops
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