NiteRaw Week 28*Fireworks shoot out from the stage as the camera heads to “Gorilla” Tim Hoss & Jesse King.*
Tim Hoss: Welcome everyone to NiteRaw. I’m “Gorilla” Tim Hoss and with me is a man who better not be having any Nazi social media stuff, Jesse KingJesse King: Gorilla, what do you take me for, a damn fool? Of course I don’t have that stuff. I represent a public company so I know I have to be careful. Besides, I can always count on you to cut me off if I go somewhere you think I shouldn’t go.TH: Sadly, that is why they pay me more than you.JK: They do?TH: Oh yeah, I get paid as both a play by play guy and as your babysitter.JK: I don’t need a babysitter!TH: It’s a figure of speech. I basically have to make sure you don’t get fired. JK: Maybe I will have to renegotiate my deal.TH: Good luck with that. Anyway, tonight we have three matches for you that have come from the results of Summerfest. First, we will have a tag match that has come from the two ties that happened when AmericAnt teams up with Michael Rose against Brandon Barger and Sorrow.JK: The fact that AA was able to retain on that draw disgusts me so I hope Brandon gets some revenge here tonight.TH: Next up will be a match where we reopen an old rivalry as the runner up in the World Title Tournament and #1 Contender to the title at Gookermania Jonathan Michaels takes on Michael Hayden. If Hayden wins, he gets added to the Gookermania main event.JK: Hopefully Jonathan gets the job done because our world champion doesn’t need competition from Michael.TH: And in our main event, we will have a non-title match where our new World Heavyweight Champion Jordan Mac takes on “The Comedian” Bobby Riggs. Same rules as the last match where if Bobby wins, he gets added to the Gookermania main event.JK: I’m really conflicted on this one. On one hand, Bobby does deserve another shot. But on the other hand, Jordan doesn’t need to worry about more opponents at Gookermania. TH: Well, apparently Bobby Riggs has come out to the ring as we are going to have to endure a Comedy Club episode.JK: Oh boy, I can’t wait. *“The Comedian” Bobby Riggs come out to the boos from the crowd. The Comedian has on a leather coat, white button up shirt and blue jeans. He’s holding his rubber chicken with the lead pipe in it and a bottle of water. He calmly walks down the ramp to the ring, with a smile on his face and laughing the whole way as he enters the ring. Inside the ring, there are four tables with two chairs to each of them. Each table has glasses filled with clear liquids or brown liquids. There is a small platform in front of the tables and chairs. On the platform is a mic stand with a microphone and six stools. Hanging over the platform is a large, flatscreen TV. The Comedian places the water and chicken/pipe on one of the tables, sits on a stool, and takes the microphone from the mic stand with his left hand. *
Comedian: Welcome to another edition of The Comedian’s Comedy Club to FAWA NiteRaw! And, I am your ever gracious host, “The Comedian” Bobby Riggs. Tonight’s guest are… Well… *pulls out an envelope from his coat pocket* I hold in my hand...the envelope! This envelope is hermetically sealed. It's been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk N Wagnall's porch since noon today. NO ONE knows the contents of this envelope, but I, in my borderline mystical way, will ascertain the contents without having to read what's inside!*The Comedian holds the envelope up to his forehead and pretends as if he's telepathically reading what's inside.*
Comedian: Dustin Hoffman. *Riggs rips the envelope open, pulls out a piece of paper and pretends to read from it.*
Comedian: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. *Dead silence*
Comedian: May the swami of Bagdad squat on your fez. *More silence*
Comedian: Anyway, my guests tonight made a big impact at Summerfest. They got the better of the Caribbean Crew by managing to get out of wrestling in the WarGames and then took them out after Rita Perez had to quit. Then, they got into a huge brawl with AmericAnt and his impromptu posse during the Fan Forums Title Match. But, tonight, they have some explaining to do. So, please welcome… THE BREAKFAST PACK!!!! *The Pack all come out to the boos of the crowd. They are all wearing Choose Breakfast shirts, acid-wash jeans, and Doc Martens. They walk down to the ring and then enter it. They all walk over to the stage, grab the mics, and sit down on the five empty stool..*
Comedian: Thanks for coming onto the show. Brandon Barger: Thanks for having us. Comedian: First, I wanna talk about the Fan Forums Title Match. That ended in a draw because your Pack and The Patriotic Pest’s Posse kept on brawling. Now, you seemed quite upset about that. Brandon: Yeah, I was. I wanted to win. I wanted to take that title from the Patriotic Pest. But, his stupid posse kept on getting involved. I don’t know why he brought those losers out, but he’ll definitely think twice after what we did to them. Comedian: Of course, of course. Now, because of that, you and AmericAnt are gonna fight again for the title, only this time it will be in the first ever Cage X Match. This will be a steel cage with X-shaped scaffold on top with the Fan Forums Title in the center. To win, all you have to do is grab the belt. Sounds simple, but knowing the brutal history of the cage match AND the scaffold match, it most certainly will not. Does this frighten you? Brandon: Of course not! In fact, I’m excited for this match! You see, being a huge fan of the Eighties, I’m quite familiar with the cage match and the scaffold match. Back then, those matches were THE feud ending matches. Cage matches were brutal and bloody affairs that took so much out of the competitors and assured that someone was gonna win, someone was gonna lose, and both would never be the same. And, scaffold matches, well… Those were just so dangerous, man! I mean, you had to throw your opponent off this 20-foot scaffold onto the mat or floor. And, there was no table to cushion you fall. It’s amazing didn’t end many guys careers. This Cage X Match combines both in one deadly match. And, I get to fight in it. I get to use that match, that cage, that scaffold any way I can to hurt AmericAnt and take his title. I am totally looking forward to beating him bloody and ragged. Comedian: Well, I’d hate to be AmericAnt at Gookermania. Moving on, we need to talk about what happened with the WarGames match. Brandon: Oh yeah! Did you like that? Comedian: Of course, I did! But, it would appear that not everyone else did. Lauren Jamison: Hey! They like totally started this! Comedian: How so? Lauren: Rita Perez totally beat me at last year’s Gookermania. She was like supposed to lose. But, she just had to upstage me! And, she’s not even that pretty! Gag me with a spoon! Comedian: So, this is all because one woman beat Lauren. Nick Britt: It’s more than that, Bobby. Rita won a few times and got an ego. She thought she could bring all her friends in and take us down. But, those hosers need to learn that we were here first. We’re the dominant force in FAWA, and they learned that first hand at Summerfest. Comedian: Well, some people think you guys went too far. Nick: No such thing! Beth Graham: Exactly. They had to learn their place in FAWA, which is beneath us. In order for them to get that, we had to send them a big message. Thanks to TNT, we did that. Nick: Yeah. Johnny Lawrence and the Kobra Kai did the same thing Daniel LaRussa. Comedian: But, didn’t Daniel just angry with the Kobra Kai and then trained hard in karate to get them back in the Karate Tournament? Shaun Clark: As has ben pointed out countless times, Daniel used an illegal kick. He should not have won the tournament. Comedian: But, he still did win. And, to this day everyone sees the Kobra Kai as the losers. And, Daniel kept on winning in the next two movies. Their attack just made him stronger. Beth: What are you trying to say? Shaun: I believe he is saying that our attack on The Caribbean Crew will just piss them off and make them attack us tenfold. Comedian: Exactly. Aren’t you afraid of that? Lauren: Like, no! Beth: No way. Nick: Nope! Shaun: I am not concerned. Brandon: Yeah, it’s not like the Crew is just gonna show up and…*Suddenly, the Caribbean Crew, minus Rita Perez and in their street clothes, run through the crowd, hop over the guardrail, slide into the ring, and attack the Pack from behind. The Pack fights back, but the Crew push them off and throw their stools at them. The Crew beat down on the Pack. Benjamin Bannock hits Brandon with Cool Runnings (540 kick), knocking him down. Brandon rolls out of the ring. Nick gets hit with The World Is Yours (Double underhook brainbuster) from Antonio “Tony” Colón. Tony then picks him up and throws him out of the ring. Brandon picks him up. Marie attacks Beth and hits her with The Other Side Of Hispaniola (F-5 into a facebuster). She and Antonio pick Beth up and throw her out onto Brandon and Nick. Lauren attacks Marie from behind, but she fights back. Marie then hits Lauren with Dominican Killer (Vertebreaker) onto one of the Comedy Club’s tables, breaking it in two. Lauren manages to roll out of the ring. Shaun is getting double teamed by Benjamin and Tony. Tony grabs Shaun while Benjamin goes to the ring apron. They then hit Shaun with Another Day In Paradise (Powerbomb (Antonio)/springboard double knee strike to the chest (Benjamin) combo). They then pick up Shaun and throw him out onto the rest of the Pack. They go down but are able to get up, even though Shaun and Lauren are out on their feet. The Comedian finally returns to the ring and hands the Crew a mic.*
Benjamin: Come on, mon. Come back here an’ take anoter beatin’ from us. Brandon: Are you nuts? I got a match at Gookermania! I don’t wanna get injured until! Marie: Ya didn’t tink about Wita’s well bein’ at Summerfest! Ya nearly bwoke her neck! Lauren: She got what she deserved! *Tony and Benjamin hold Marie back as she tries to exit the ring and attack them.*
Comedian: Hey, hey, hey! Knock it off! There’s been enough fighting, and I’d like to keep the rest of my set. Now, it would appear that you two groups are on a collision course. So, what I want to know is this—when will Rita Perez be back? Tony: The doctor’s said that she would be able to wrestle by Gookermania. Comedian: Well, that sounds like the perfect time for you two gangs to have and all out war. *The crowd cheers.*
Brandon: Hey! Who’s side are you on!? Comedian: I’m on the side I’m always on—my own. And, my side wants to see a fight! Nick: Well, that ain’t happenin’, bub! We don’t have any reason to fight them! Tony: Really? What about da fact that we beat jur asses, mang? That Rita pinned jur boy that’s half-knocked out there? That not a good enough reason for ju, mang? Beth: So!? You won the battle. We won the war. Marie: De war ain’t ova until we say it’s ova! An, we gonna bring de war ta ya until ya face us like humans an’ not cowards ya are! Nick: So? We can just get a restraining order on you. Comedian: Wait a minute! Wait just one cotton-picking minute! I have a solution to this stalemate. How about we have a match? Now, the two girls of the Breakfast Pack and the Caribbean Crew have wrestled each other. So, why not the guys? I say that Benjamin and Tony take on Shaun and Nick next week, and if the Crew wins, they get to fight the Pack at Gookermania. Tony: That sounds good to me, mang. Brandon: Wait a minute. That’s not fair. My guys don’t get anything if they win. Benjamin: Den name ya price, mon! Brandon: Okay. If Nick and Shaun win, then The Crew has to leave FAWA for good. Benjamin: Deal! Comedian: Then, we got ourselves a match! Nick: No, it will be a beating. And then, these dweebs will be gone for good. Because not only will they have to leave FAWA, but we’re gonna break their necks like that puta we…*Suddenly, the Crew rushes out of the ring and after the Pack. They run off, with the Crew chasing them.*
Comedian: Well, that’s it for this edition of The Comedian’s Comedy Club. And, we’re gonna take a quick break so that the ring can be cleared out. So, sit tight. We’ll be right back. TH: Well, that was an interesting episode of the Comedy Club….and not because of Bobby Riggs’ apparent comedy.
JK: Oh come on, his comedy was great.
TH: Different strokes for different folks then…anyway, looks like we have a main event for next week with Benjamin Braddock and Antonio Colon vs. Shawn Clark and Nick Britt and if the two men of the Caribbean Crew win, they get a match against the Breakfast Pack at Gookermania and if the Pack win, the Caribbean Crew must leave FAWA for good.
JK: This is unfair. The Pack shouldn’t have to have the Crew leave. The Crew have been outsmarted everytime.
TH: Except that time they lost and had to dress in 90s clothes.
JK: How dare you even remind me of that?!!
*We open up on the ring. Inside it is an elaborate set. There is a counter with a register and some flowers on it. The ropes have rose vines wrapped around them. A basket of flowers is placed on each corner. Also in the ring are two small tables with flowers on them, two stools, and two microphones on each stool. Michael Rose and Kerri Thompson come out to the cheers of the crowd. They are wearing their regular non-wrestling attire. Kerri has her arm wrapped around Michael’s. And, Rose is holding a rose bouquet. He sniffs it and throws some roses to the crowd. They eventually make it to the ring and slide under the bottom rope. In the ring, Rose makes his way to a corner, stands on the second turnbuckle, sniffs the rose bouquet, and blows a kiss to the crowd. Rose walks over to a stool and sits down on it with Kerri standing next to him.*
Rose: Yep! We dug this old chestnut out of the broom closet. I’m Michael Rose. And, this is my lovely lady, Kerri Thompson. How are you tonight, Kerri?Kerri: I still have a headache from Summerfest. Other than that, I’m good.Rose: So, you all may be wondering why The Flower Shop is back. Well, I brought it back to address a big problem I have in FAWA—Sorrow. It’s getting to the point that this company might just not be big enough for the two of us. So, I asked him out here tonight so that we can find a way to settle this. And, I figured it would be best to have a lot of objects to use as weapons when he does come out here. So, please welcome Sorrow. *Sorrow comes out to the boos of the crowd. He has on his trademark mask, a shirt with his mask symbol on it, black pants, and black boots. Surprisingly, he’s not alone. Two men are with him. One is a big black man: tall, huge, and muscular with a bald head, blue eyes, and goatee. He’s wearing a nice dress shirt, blue jeans, and expensive shoes. The other man is smaller, but not by much. He’s white, tall and muscular, looks like he takes steroids, short black hair, blue eyes, clean shaven, and, very tan. They all walk down and enter the ring.*
Rose: Who are these guys? Sorrow: They are not my idea.
Rose: Weird name for a tag team. Sorrow: *sarcastically* Ha ha. You’re funnier than The Comedian.
Rose: A stroke is funnier than Riggs. Sorrow: Finally something we agree on. Anyway, you are sort of correct—they are wrestlers.
Rose: Really. I thought they might be bodyguards. Sorrow: Do I look like I need a bodyguard?
Rose: From me you do. Sorrow: Maybe they’re here to protect you from me.
Rose: Are they? Sorrow: One of them is.
Rose: What do you mean? Sorrow: You see, Mrs. Drakin has decided that she can’t allow us to just walk around and attack each other all willy-nilly. So, she’s hired these two gentlemen. The man to my right *points to the white guy* is “The Machine” Mark Masters. And, the man to my left *points to the black guy* Howard George Hammond. They’ve been assigned to stop us from attacking each other. Specifically, Masters will follow me around to keep you at bay. And, Hammond, well…
*Hammond walks over to Rose and Kerri and stands next to him.*
Sorrow: He’s gonna follow you around in order to stop me.
Rose: Okay. So, how long are these guys gonna be with us? Sorrow: However long it takes for us to settle our differences.
Rose: Well, I had an idea about that. Summerfest didn’t solve a damn thing. So, I say we do it again at Gookermania. You and me, with your mask on the line…Sorrow: Seriously!? You want me to put my mask on the line while you offer nothing?
Rose: No! I don’t! Now, if you let me finish, I’ll put my offer on the table. You and me, with your mask on the line as well as our careers. Sorrow: Your career?
Rose: No! Our careers! Kerri and I! Kerri: That’s right. If you win, you get rid of both of us. And, we don’t just mean here in FAWA. We mean all of professional wrestling. You beat us, and we leave the entire industry for good. Sorrow: Interesting. I like this offer. I accept.
Rose: Good! Now…Sorrow: However, there is a catch. Since you got to pick the stipulations, I do feel that it would be fair if I get to pick the type of match we have. As you said, Summerfest didn’t solve a thing. And, the reason for that is because the match was a regular wrestling match, with rules. Rules that allow for a draw. We need a match where there will be a winner.
Rose: So, what match will it be? Sorrow: Well, I figured that we’d end up in one more match after Summerfest. So, I’ve thought about what match we could have. And, I had three good ideas. The first—I thought of how much fun it would be for me to beat you until blood poured out of your body. The second—I thought I could beat you all about the arena until you couldn’t get up again, or at least until a count of ten. The third—as much fun as I would have with those two, I thought it would be better if I could hear you utter those two little words—I quit! Each idea—a First Blood Match, a Last Man Standing Match, and an I Quit Match—was a good one. There was a problem, though—they were all equally good. I haven’t been able to decide. Then, it hit me just last night—why pick one when I can have them all. So, I’ve come up with The Path To Sorrow Match. In order to win, you have to beat your opponent by making them bleed, keeping them down for a ten count, AND making them say “I Quit.” And, you have to do all three. The first man to get all three wins. So, what do you think?
Rose: I think it’s fantastic idea! And, I can’t wait to destroy you at Gookermania. Sorrow: You seriously think you can destroy me.
Rose: I know I can. Sorrow: Please. I’ve had your number ever since we’ve been in FAWA. And, at Gookermania, I will take a little pleasure in seeing the tears and depression you two will feel once you’ve realized that you’ve lost and your careers in the profession you love are now over.
Rose: You gotta beat me first for that to happen. And, it won’t. Because, I’ve only quit one thing in my life. And, I promised myself I would never do that again. Sorrow: That promise will be broken at Gookermania.
Rose: You’re wrong. That mask is gonna be mine at Gookermania. Sorrow: Well, we’ll just have to see about that. Good luck, Michael. You’re gonna need it.
*Sorrow and Masters leave. Rose, Kerri, and Hammond stay in the ring as they walk away. And then, we go to commercial.And then, we go to commercial. Then we are back from the commercial break and the ring is empty.*
TH: Well, now we have another match to add to the Gookermania card as during the commercial break, Jessica signed the match.
JK: And the countdown towards saying goodbye to Michael and Kerri begins.
TH: You have no faith in them?
JK: None at all. Do you know how deranged Sorrow is?
TH: He may be deranged, but I think you are seriously underestimating Michael Rose. Let’s get to our first match of the evening.
Michael Muffer: The following contest is a tag team match, scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, coming down to the ring, being accompanied by “The Machine” Mark Masters, at 6 foot 9 inches, and weighing 305 lbs., from The Saddest Place In The World: THE DEPRESSED DESTROYER, SORROW.*Sorrow come out to the boos of the crowd. Sorrow has on his trademark mask, black wrist tape, black elbow pads with the cross from the mask on them, and black wrestling pants with the cross from the mask down the legs. The crosses on the mask, elbow pads, and pants are green. He also has on black boots. Masters is wearing a black satin suit with nice shoes. He walks down to the ring, climbs onto the apron, and steps over the top rope.*
TH: This should be a real barn burner as Sorrow and Brandon Barger take on their rivals Michael Rose and AmericAnt respectively.JK: And, there’s Sorrow’s new friend, “The Machine” Mark Masters. He’s been hired by Mrs. Drakin to stop Michael Rose from attacking Sorrow. And, it’s about time she did something about these two constantly fighting.TH: I have to agree. It was getting out of hand.JK: Huge understatement, Hoss. Huge!MM: And, his partner, coming down the aisle, at 6 feet 6 inches, weighing in at 284 pounds, from Schermer, Illinois—BRANDON BARGER.*Brandon come out to the boos of the crowd. He is wearing a denim coat, a white T-shirt, tan cargo pants, biker’s glove, and Doc Martin’s. He walks to the ring, stops right before he enters it, and holds up his right fist. He then enters the ring and takes off the coat and shirt, throwing them to the outside.*
TH: Earlier tonight, Barger said that he was looking forward to the first ever Cage X Match for the Fan Forums Title at Gookermania. He wants to use the cage and scaffold to hurt AmericAnt.JK: I can’t wait either. The Patriotic Pest has gotten an ego since winning the title. Brandon Barger is just the person to take it down a peg.TH: What in the hell are you talking about?JK: He thinks he’s the big man in FAWA now that he’s gotten a taste of gold. And, I look forward to seeing that man, Brandon Barger, as an upstanding, moral champion.TH: Have you been hitting the bottle lately, King?MM: And, their opponents, introducing first, coming down the aiskle, being accompanied by Kerri Thompson and Howard George Hammond, at 6 foot 4 inches, and weighing 262 pounds, from Las Vegas, Nevada: MICHAEL ROSE. *Michael Rose come out to the cheers of the crowd. Rose is wearing white short wrestling trunks, white elbow and knee pads, and white boots, all with a rose on them. Rose is also holding a rose bouquet. Kerri is wearing a black shirt with a rose on it, blue jeans, and boots. Hammond is wearing a nice dress shirt, blue jeans, and black sneakers. Rose sniffs it and throws some roses to the crowd. They eventually make it to the ring and slide under the bottom rope. In the ring, Rose makes his way to a corner, stands on the second turnbuckle, sniffs the rose bouquet, and blows a kiss to the crowd. Rose then hands the bouquet to Kerri.*
TH: Like Masters, Howard George Hammond has also been hired by Mrs. Drakin. Only he’s been assigned to stop Sorrow from attacking Rose. JK: I have to say that these two will have their hands full until Gookermania. TH: However, once that bell rings, they can beat each other up all they want. JK: The ref is gonna have his hands full tonight.MM: And, his partner, ...from The Land of Opportunity...at 6 feet, 5 inches...weighing in at 302 lbs...he is the FAWA Fan Forums Champion...AmericAnt!!!*AmericAnt comes down from the back waving the US flag as he goes to the ring. Inside the ring, he does poses ala Hulk Hogan and then hands the flag to the referee.*
TH: Here’s our Fan Forums Champion, but he doesn’t have the belt because of what went down at Summerfest.JK: He should have been stripped of the title.TH: And, why’s that? JK: Because he overstepped his boundaries by bringing in those has-beens at Summerfest. TH: He was just evening the odds because he knew Barger would bring the Pack with him.JK: He hasn’t tonight.TH: But, he did at Summerfest.JK: So? *The bell rings. Brandon hits AmericAnt from behind and then runs to the apron. AmericAnt goes after him, but Sorrow punches him, knocking AmericAnt down. Rose moves onto the apron but stares at Sorrow. Sorrow stares back while picking up AmericAnt. AmericAnt surprises Sorrow with a knee to the gut and puts Sorrow into a headlock. Sorrow pushes AmericAnt off, sending him into the ropes. However, AmericAnt surprises him with a leaping shoulder block off the ropes, knocking Sorrow down. AmericAnt and Sorrow get up, and AmericAnt surprises Sorrow with a hard punch that sends Sorrow spinning around to AmericAnt’s corner. Rose suddenly punches Sorrow, knocking him down.*
TH: Rose sending Sorrow a message with that hard punch. JK: I’m surprised he didn’t start things off with Sorrow.TH: Well, Brandon Barger attacked AmericAnt from behind, ran off, and let Sorrow take over. JK: Hey, he’s just playing things smart. *AmericAnt goes to pick up Sorrow, but Brandon tries to sneak into the ring. AmericAnt sees him and goes to stop him. Brandon backs off. The ref gets in between them and admonishes Brandon. AmericAnt goes back to Sorrow, who’s gotten up. They tie up, but Sorrow takes over with a knee to the gut. He grabs AmericAnt and throws him into the corner with Snake Eyes. Sorrow turns AmericAnt around and unleashes a flurry of punches on AmericAnt. Suddenly, AmericAnt fights back and throws Sorrow into the corner. AmericAnt then whips Sorrow across the ring. Sorrow bounces out only to get hit with the Stars & Stripes (Three Point Stance Clothesline), knocking him down.*
TH: Stars & Stripes takes down Sorrow.JK: AmericAnt is looking good, but he won’t be when Barger gets into the ring.TH: What makes you say that?JK: How much Barger dominated AmericAnt at Summerfest.*AmericAnt picks up Sorrow, but Sorrow surprises him with a scoop slam. He then tags out to Brandon, who comes in and starts stomping on AmericAnt. He picks up AmericAnt and starts punching him, but AmericAnt starts punching back. He punches Brandon back into a corner and then whips him across the ring. Brandon bounces out, and AmericAnt hits him with an Arn Anderson spinebuster.*
TH: You were saying…JK: Eh… he got lucky.*AmericAnt picks up Brandon and punches him a few times. The last one knocks Brandon down. AmericAnt then picks up Brandon, puts him in a wristlock, and drags him to his team’s corner. He tags in Rose, who climbs up to the top and jumps down with an elbow onto Brandon’s arm. Rose then goes toward Sorrow but doesn’t attack him. He then goes to Brandon, who has gotten up and holding his arm in a corner. Rose chops Brandon a few times. Suddenly, Sorrow tries to attack Rose from behind, but Rose turns around and punches him down. However, Rose turns around into a punch from Brandon, knocking him down. Brandon picks up Rose and punches him in the corner.*
TH: Brandon Barger takes over thanks to the distraction from Sorrow.JK: That’s how tag team wrestling is supposed to work, Hoss. One man helping his partner any way he can. *Brandon punches Rose a few more times before Rose turns it around, throwing Brandon in the corner and punching him. Rose then climbs up to the second turnbuckle and starts punching him. But, this allows Brandon to hit Rose with an inverted atomic drop. Rose falls down. Rose does get up in a corner, but Brandon picks him up and puts him onto the top turnbuckle. Brandon climbs up, and Rose starts punching him. Brandon punches back. They trade blows until Rose starts to win out. One good punch knocks Brandon down. Rose turns around and jumps off with a corkscrew moonsault, landing on Brandon. He goes for the pin.
1…
2…
Sorrow runs in and breaks up the pin.*
TH: Sorrow makes the save.JK: It was just a matter of time before these two went at it.*Sorrow and Rose start punching each other. Brandon gets up, and AmericAnt runs into the ring. They start fighting as well. Rose knocks Sorrow to the outside and follows. Masters and Hammond go over to make sure their fight doesn’t get out of control. Meanwhile, AmericAnt clotheslines Brandon over the ropes and follows him as well. AmericAnt attacks Brandon, but Brandon fights back. He gets the upperhand and tries to whip AmericAnt into the steel steps, but AmericAnt reverses and sends Brandon into the steps instead.*
TH: Brandon Barger hits the steel steps hard.JK: Some champion, sending his opponent into those dangerous steps.TH: Brandon tried to send him in the steps first. JK: But, he didn’t have to reverse it. *On the other side of the ring, Rose and Sorrow keep fighting, with the referee, Kerri, Hammond, and Masters near them to make sure the fight doesn’t get out of control. Sorrow tries to whip Rose into the other steps, but Rose twists under him, pulls him in, and hits Sorrow with The Orange Rose (Sit-out inverted suplex slam) onto the floor.*
TH: Orange Rose to Sorrow on the floor.JK: It’s getting chaotic. Though, I figured this would happen. *Rose beats down on Sorrow for a bit until the ref manages to get them separated. Rose then tries to get back into the ring, but Sorrow grabs Rose from behind and chokeslams him onto the floor. The ref yells at Sorrow for that, but he just ignores the ref as he picks up Rose. He then hits Rose with Sadness (Dominator) onto the floor. The ref yells at Sorrow while Kerri checks on him. AmericAnt comes over to check on Rose as well.*
TH: Good Gawd! Sadness onto the floor after that vicious chokeslam.JK: He wants to hurt Rose to make things easier at Gookermania*Sorrow pick up Rose and gets back onto the apron. Brandon is back in the ring as well, and he attacks Rose. Sorrow and AmericAnt get back to their corners. Brandon then tags in Sorrow and holds Rose. Sorrow punches him hard in the gut. He goes down, and Brandon exits the ring. Sorrow picks up Rose and whips him into a neutral corner. Sorrow punches Rose a few times and then goes for an Irish whip. However, Rose reverses it and throws Sorrow into the corner. He then punches Sorrow in the corner. Sorrow starts to punch his way out. However, Rose is able to duck a punch, grab Sorrow from behind, and hit him with a full nelson slam. He quickly covers Sorrow.
1…
2…
Sorrow kicks out.*
TH: Nice counter from Michael Rose.JK: I’m amazed he’s able to fight back after how Sorrow took him out earlier.TH: Michael Rose is very resilient. JK: You mean lucky, Hoss.*Rose picks up Sorrow for a suplex, holding him up for a few seconds before dropping him onto the mat. He picks up Sorrow again, this time putting him into a headlock. However, Sorrow pushes him off into the ropes. But, Rose comes off them and hits Sorrow with The Red Rose (Running STO), staying on top of him for a pin.
1…
2…
Sorrow kicks out.*
TH: Red Rose out of nowhere, but it doesn’t keep Sorrow down.JK: He’s too tough and too angry to be taken down with that move.*Sorrow gets up in the corner only to be attacked by Rose. He punches and kicks Sorrow before whipping him across the ring. Sorrow hits the turnbuckles but comes bouncing out with a punch to Rose. Rose fights back and puts him in a headlock. Sorrow pushes him off into the ropes. Rose bounces off and charges at Sorrow, who drops down. Rose jumps over him and hits the opposite ropes, but Brandon quickly hits him with a knee to the back. Rose falls to his knees, and Sorrow picks him up and hits Rose with a brainbuster. He quickly covers Rose.
1…
2…
Rose kicks out.*
TH: Brainbuster after that sneak attack from Brandon Barger. But, Rose kicks out.JK: Hey! Sorrow needed help, and Brandon gave it to him. *Sorrow stomps on Rose a few times before tagging in Brandon. He holds Rose, and Brandon climbs up onto the second turnbuckle. He jumps off and hits Rose with a double axe handle. Sorrow exits the ring as Brandon stomps on Rose. He picks Rose up, pushes him into the ropes, whips him across the ring, and hits him with a sitout hip toss. He then covers Rose.
1…
2…
Rose kicks out.*
TH: Brandon Barger comes in and almost gets the pin.JK: He’s gonna let AmericAnt see what he’s gonna do to him at Gookermania through Rose.*Brandon picks up Rose, holds him, and tags in Sorrow. Sorrow comes in and punches Rose in the side. Rose falls to his knees. Brandon exits the ring. Sorrow starts punching Rose several times. He then picks up Rose and slams his head onto the top turnbuckle of a neutral corner. Sorrow then punches Rose a few more times before knocking him down with a hard punch to the throat. Sorrow then picks up Rose and hits him with Misery (Rope-elevated swinging neck breaker). He goes for a pin.
1…
2…
Rose kicks out.*
TH: Misery from Sorrow, but it doesn’t keep Rose down.JK: Sorrow has been a little lenient on Rose. Maybe he wants to keep him healthy for Gookermania where he can really beat down on Rose.TH: I wouldn’t put it past him, but he wasn’t exactly lenient with that chokeslam on the floor earlier.*Sorrow picks up Rose and whips him into his team’s corner. He then tags in Brandon. They both punch Rose until the ref forces Sorrow to exit the ring. He does, and Brandon keeps on beating on Rose. Brandon then picks up Rose, puts him throat first on the top rope, and starts choking him. The ref starts counting.
1…
2…
3…
4…
Brandon lets go. He then starts arguing with the ref about how he has till 5. This distracts the ref so that Sorrow can continue choking Rose.*
TH: Dammit! Sorrow’s choking Rose, and the ref doesn’t see it.JK: Then, he gets away with it.TH: It’s not right. JK: Well, life ain’t fair sometimes, Hoss. I’m sure Rose knows that now.*AmericAnt comes in and tries to let ref know what Sorrow is doing, but the ref stops him. And, Brandon starts yelling at him, allowing Sorrow to continue choking Rose. Sorrow finally lets go and punches Rose in the throat, knocking him down. AmericAnt finally leaves the ring, and Brandon goes back to Rose. He picks Rose up and hits him with Skateaway (Half nelson choke suplex). He then pins Rose.
1…
2…
Rose kicks out.*
TH: Skateaway to Michael Rose, but he kicks out, even with all that choking Sorrow gave him.JK: He may be out of breath, which should make this an easy victory for Sorrow and Brandon Barger. *Brandon picks up Rose and locks him in a rear naked choke. Rose struggles to get out of it, but he starts fading. Kerri starts to rally the audience around Rose. AmericAnt helps her on the apron. Brandon still has it locked on, but Rose starts to rally. Brandon tries to keep him in it, but Rose suddenly hits Brandon with a jawbreaker, causing him to break the hold. Both men are down. Rose starts crawling to his corner. But, so does Brandon. He tags out to Sorrow. Sorrow goes after Rose and stops him from getting the tag. He picks up Rose and starts punching him, but Rose punches back. They trade blows for a little bit until Rose knees Sorrow in the gut and whips him into a neutral corner. Rose charges after him, but Sorrow stops Rose with a back elbow. Rose staggers back, and Sorrow goes to the top rope. He grabs Rose and pulls him up for the Dreadbomb (Superbomb). However, Rose counters with a hurricanrana.*
TH: Hurricanrana off the top stops Sorrow from hitting the Dreadbomb.JK: He knows Sorrow too well. Sorrow will have to change things up if he wants to beat him here and at Gookermania. *Both men are down. Their partners reach out for tags. Rose and Sorrow start crawling to them. Sorrow gets to his corner first, and tags in Brandon. He rushes in and tries to stop Rose, but he gets the tag. AmericAnt runs in and clotheslines Brandon. Sorrow charges at him, but AmericAnt hits him with several punches. Brandon tries to attack AmericAnt, but AmericAnt stops him with some punches. He then punches Sorrow again, knocking him down. He then goes back to Brandon, punching him back into the ropes. He whips Brandon across the ring and then dropkicks him. AmericAnt gets up, attacks Sorrow into the ropes, whips him across the ring, and hits him with a back body drop.*
TH: AmericAnt is on a roll.JK: Dammit! Where’s the bug spray when you need it? *AmericAnt attacks Brandon, punching him back into the ropes. He then whips Brandon across the ring. As he bounces off the ropes, AmericAnt hits him with an Arn Anderson spinebuster. AmericAnt gets up. Sorrow tries to punch him, but AmericAnt ducks it and hits him with the Waves of Grain (three German Suplexes followed by a belly to back suplex lift neckbreaker).*
TH: Waves Of Grain keeps AmericAnt momentum going.JK: Dammit! They should have put Rose away when they had the chance! *Brandon has crawled over to the corner and pulled himself up. AmericAnt attacks him with a running splash and a flurry of punches. However, Sorrow suddenly hits AmericAnt from behind with a running corner avalanche, squashing him and Brandon in the corner. They fall down. Sorrow picks up AmericAnt and whips him into the ropes. Sorrow goes for a clothesline, but AmericAnt ducks it. Sorrow turns around into another dropkick. Both men get up, but AmericAnt hits Sorrow with the Americana Kick (Running arched big boot from behind).*
TH: Americana Kick takes down Sorrow.JK: He almost has The Patriotic Pest with that avalanche. This damn ant is as hard to take out as a real one. *AmericAnt gets up and charges at Brandon, who’s pulled himself up. However, Brandon ducks and back body drops AmericAnt over the ropes and post onto the floor. Brandon then falls onto the ref and uses him to pull himself up. The ref pushes him off and yells at Brandon for doing that. Suddenly, Rose rushes over and attacks Brandon. Sorrow attack Rose from behind. Brandon attacks Rose as well, but Rose fights back, with the ref in the middle. He’s able to get free and pushes Brandon off. They argue while Sorrow knocks Rose down with a punch and tries to pull off the turnbuckle pad of a neutral corner. Kerri rushes over to stop him, and they exchange words, with Masters and Hammond coming over to make sure things don’t get out of hand. AmericAnt finally gets up and tries to get back into the ring when suddenly, Nick Britt jumps over the guardrail, grabs him, and throws him back first into the steel guardrail.*
TH: What the hell!? Nick Britt is out here! JK: Yes! The Breakfast Pack has gotten the better of AmericAnt again. *Nick then kick AmericAnt in the gut, pulls him from the guardrail, and hits him with The Boy Bomb (Sitout double underhook powerbomb) onto the floor.*
TH: Good Gawd! What was that!? JK: Nick told me he was working on a new finisher. That’s the Boy Bomb. TH: Well, it was effective. *Nick rolls AmericAnt over, picks him up, and hits him with The Joshua Tree (Wheelbarrow into a sitout rear mat slam).*
TH: Good Gawd! Now the Joshua Tree on the floor. AmericAnt has to be knocked out.JK: Nick Britt has done his job well.*Nick picks up AmericAnt and throws him back into the ring. He then leaves. AmericAnt looks dazed and can’t really pull himself up. Brandon pounces on him, finally done yelling at the ref. Meanwhile, Sorrow makes his way back to his team’s corner, as does Rose. Brandon drops a few fists on AmericAnt before picking him up with Ride Across The River (Wheelbarrow suplex), dropping him on the mat. Brandon then pins AmericAnt.
1…
2…
Rose rushes over and breaks up the pin.*
TH: Ride Across The River. This should… NO! Rose makes the save. JK: Dammit! Brandon had this match! Nick did his job perfectly! *Rose picks up Brandon and punches him into the ropes. Suddenly, Sorrow rushes into the ring. Kerri yells out a warning, and Rose stops him with several punches. Sorrow punches back, dazing Rose. He then runs into the ropes, bounces off of them, and charges at Rose with a spear. However, Rose moves out of the way, and Sorrow ends up spearing Brandon instead. Sorrow gets up, looking pissed. This allows Rose to surprises Sorrow with The Rose Thorn (Backcracker).*
TH: Rose Thorn out of nowhere! JK: And after Sorrow accidentally speared Brandon Barger! Dammit! They were supposed to win this match! TH: Never count out Michael Rose and AmericAnt. *Rose attacks Sorrow, clotheslining him over the ropes. They fight on the outside, with the referee, Masters, and Hammond coming over to make sure they don’t get out of control. Back in the ring, Brandon and AmericAnt are down. Both men pull themselves up with the ropes and turn around. They charge at one another, punching each other. Suddenly, AmericAnt ducks a punch. Brandon spins around, and AmericAnt grabs him for the American Slam (Angle Slam). But, Brandon slips out of it, falls to his knees, and low blows AmericAnt. He then gets up, picks up AmericAnt onto his shoulders, and hits him with the Brothers In Arms (Death Valley Driver). He covers AmericAnt, yelling for the ref to make the pin. He runs in and does.
1…
2…
3!*
TH: I don’t believe it! The low blow and the Brothers In Arms wins the match for Sorrow and Brandon Barger. JK: They did it! They have all the momentum heading into Gookermania! TH: A big assist to Nick Britt. JK: Hey, Rose and AmericAnt almost pulled off the victory. But, almost doesn’t really mean much. *With the match over, Hammond and Masters do their jobs and pull Rose and Sorrow off of each other. Hammond holds Sorrow back and Masters does the same to Rose. Then, they see Brandon celebrating his team’s victory. Sorrow walks over laughing while Rose runs in to check on his partner. Brandon then leaves yelling about how he’s gonna be the new Fan Forums Champion.*
TH: Well, Brandon Barger and Sorrow may have won tonight, but things will be different at Gookermania.JK: That’s true. But, Michael Rose and AmericAnt need to be prepared as well. It’s gonna be just a difficult for them as it will for Barger and Sorrow.*Backstage, we see Jessica Drakin looking at the match where Jeremy Fish comes in.*
Jeremy Fish: So Mrs. Drakin, we have met these two guys you have hired to watch over Michael Rose and Sorrow. Why this decision?Jessica: This decision has been made because of what happened at SummerFest. We already had one match that ended in a draw and I dealt with that immediately. This one however, needed a different approach. So a few days after that incident, I was given tryout videos from two wrestlers who wanted to make a name for themselves so I decided if I can’t have regular security men deal with these two and keep them in line, then I will have wrestlers take care of this situation and keep them away from each other, which as you saw tonight, they did very well at. Michael Masters and Howard George Hammond are doing security for their opportunity for future shots at this business and two men with that kind of drive will not allow two men like Michael Rose and Sorrow as well as one woman in Kerri Thompson screw that up for them.JF: Well, I guess that clears up that ans…Jessica: Hold on, I have two more things to say. JF: Okay…Jessica: First, tonight…you will be getting a special surprise from a certain someone who I am not at liberty to say.
And two, next week…AmericAnt and Brandon Barger will be signing a contract for their Gookermania rematch that will determine who really deserves to be the Fan Forums Champion. And after the contracts are signed, I will be unveiling the four people who will be outside the cage and they will be making sure there is no interference.
Now that is all, as we have a match next.JF: This is Jeremy Fish, signing out.TH: Well, now we got our answers as to who these two security guys are and next week, we will be having a contract signing for the Fan Forums Title Cage X Match. JK: Enough with that, we have a match to get to.TH: That we do so let’s send it to the ring with Michael Muffer.*The bell rings.*
MM: The following non-title contest is scheduled for one fall. If the opponent can defeat the world champion tonight, then they will be added to the Gookermania main event which will be for the world title.MM: Introducing first…from Los Angeles, California…at 6 feet, 6 inches…weighing in at 270 pounds…”THE COMEDIAN” BOBBY RIGGS!!!*Bobby Rose comes from the back with his rubber chicken. As the crowd boos, he smiles and enters the ring. He goes up the turnbuckle and holds his rubber chicken. He then waits for his opponent.*
TH: Bobby Riggs having a huge opportunity here right now. If he defeats Jordan Mac here tonight, he gets to main event Gookermania and if he doesn’t, he might have to find something else to do for the biggest show. JK: As much as I like Riggs, I hope Jordan wins. Jordan doesn’t need any more opponents going into Gookermania. Jonathan is tough enough on his own.MM: And his opponent…accompanied to the ring by the Black Gold Crew…from Atlanta, Georgia…at 6 feet, 3 inches…weighing in at 245 pounds…he is the FAWA World Heavyweight Champion…”BLACK GOLD” JORDAN MAC!!!*The crew comes out first, followed by Jordan Mac who has the world title around his waist and a towel over his head. The Crew surrounds the ring as Jordan Mac enters the ring. He takes the towel off and throws it on the ground. He kicks it away and takes the world title off his waist. He then raises it in the air as he looks at his opponent. He then hands the belt to a member of his crew, showing he is ready*
TH: Here comes the world champion and unlike his match with Jonathan Michaels, his crew is with him this time. JK: They are allowed to be out there. If Bobby Riggs was smart, he would have brought his TNT pals out.*The Comedian laughs and raises his hand in the air before snapping his fingers. Suddenly, Toby Nicholas Tucker, Tracy Jones, Nicole Michaels, and Talia Bell come out from the back. The head to the ring and are with the Comedian.*
TH: Well, speak of the devils…JK: Bobby Riggs is smart. *Bobby Riggs hands his rubber chicken to Toby. The referee points to both men and then calls for the timekeeper to ring the bell.
TH: The first of our two potential qualifiers has begun. Will The Comedian be headlining Gookermania or will the world champion get the job done tonight?Non-Title Gookermania Qualifier"Black Gold" Jordan Mac vs. "The Comedian" Bobby Riggs
Voting ends 12/4 at 12 AM
