Thomas the Tank Engine: A Retrospective Review

[AFN: Judge Shred]

I really only have one thing to add...

SPARKLE SPARKLE SPARKLE!

[Hit Girl]

Jun 19, 2015 0:41:24 GMT -5 ededdneddy said:

Alot of the scarier episodes like the one where Percy pretends to be a Ghost or a few others were actually pretty creepy. The atmosphere and the way they were told was what made it all creepy

Hell yeah

"Ghost Train" is shit scary, especially at the beginning.

[Lupin the Third]

Jun 19, 2015 1:35:50 GMT -5 AFN: Judge Shred said:

I really only have one thing to add...

SPARKLE SPARKLE SPARKLE!

F*** YEAH SPARKLE SPARKLE SPARKLE!!!

[crashmatsbazz]

I absolutely loved TUGS as well.

[Hit Girl]

I had a toy Sunshine from TUGS

[Lupin the Third]

Jun 19, 2015 9:33:56 GMT -5 crashmatsbazz said:

I absolutely loved TUGS as well.

I'm not sure if I'll do a retrospective on TUGS. I only have watched the show recently on YouTube. While it's a good show, it wasn't a part of my childhood like Thomas was.

[Secret Clown]

Loved Thomas as a youngster. Kinda hate what it has become today. Loved the first 2 series and will still occasionally watch those DVDs now.

The show went downhill when it switched from Britt Allcroft to Hit Entertainment. I hated how every episode seemed to have a lesson at the end of it.

Should never have used CGI and just kept to using the models.

My favourite episode is probably Edward's Exploit.

[Lupin the Third]

Alright, instead of going on with Series 5, 6, & 7, I decided to do a quick lunch hour retrospective on one of the characters that garnered much controversy throughout the books as well as the TV series. I'm speaking of Old Square Wheels himself.


"Hey now! My wheels aren't square!"

THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE: A RETROSPECTIVE REVIEW
Part 3 1/2: Much Ado About Henry...

There was a lot of controversy regarding Henry from the beginning. The Fat Controller had ordered an engine like Gordon, but what he got was something completely different in Henry. In reality, the Rev. Awdry didn't like the way the illustrators were drawing Henry to begin with. He had thought about doing away with the character to begin with, but thought against it, and decided that he just needed a new shape so that the illustrators would be more precise with the character design.

Anyways, when Henry was first brought up, he had a little issue with precipitation. Or as the rhyme goes...

Once, an engine attached to a train
Was afraid of a few drops of rain
It went into a tunnel
And squeeked through its funnel
And wouldn't come out again

God I miss those days.

Anyways, after Henry's issue with the rain was resolved, we learned he had a much bigger issue.

Henry was a bad steamer. This was mainly due to his firebox being so small, and not being able to handle the coal that was issued to the engines. And since they had bigger fireboxes, they could handle the coal being bad. So Henry was sick quite often. I believe two stories early on, "Thomas' Train," and "Thomas and the Guard," were firm examples of this.

But the issue was resolved temporarily, with the arrival of special Welsh Coal.


"Very expensive."

Anyways, with this new coal, Henry felt like a different engine. And things were looking up, until his accident with the Flying Kipper. At that point, the Fat Controller sent Henry to Crewe to get a different shape, which would solve his firebox issues once and for all.

Or so it seemed.

In the Railway Series, there was one story later on that showed Henry still having issues. However, the coal was so bad, that the other engines were having issues with it as well. So I don't chalk that up to bad continuity.

However, Henry would still have spouts of sickness in the television series and they would explain he's a sickly engine, and would need special coal every now and then. But wasn't the rebuild supposed to....oh I don't know, FIX THAT?!!

Another issue I had, which I will bring up again later on, was an episode in Series 8 that showed Henry couldn't pull coaches very well. I found this episode to be absolute bullshit, because Henry had pulled passenger trains for years with no problems. Unless he got the Yips, and completely forgot how to do things.

Another fan theory that's brought up every now and then is the theory that the pre-rebuild Henry and post-rebuild Henry are two different engines. However, that theory doesn't hold up very well, as the post-rebuild Henry has memories of being stuck in the tunnel, as well as other things.

Finally, another big issue was Henry's design in the TV series. They had his design pre-Kipper crash, then he had the rebuild which should've been fine, but in Season 3, they added the pre-rebuild splashers back on for no reason whatsoever.

So in short, STOP F***ING WITH THE NATURAL ORDER AND KEEP HENRY THE WAY HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE!!! The poor engine has had to deal with enough, let alone changing his shape or personality to something completely different.

So that's my 2 cents on Henry. All in all, I liked Henry, but I didn't like the changes they kept making to Henry.

Next time, we get into moving away from the books, and the disaster that could've killed the franchise.

[ededdneddy]

Jun 19, 2015 8:57:23 GMT -5 Lupin the Third said:

Jun 19, 2015 1:35:50 GMT -5 AFN: Judge Shred said:

I really only have one thing to add...

SPARKLE SPARKLE SPARKLE!

F*** YEAH SPARKLE SPARKLE SPARKLE!!!

I see your sparkle sparkle sparkle and i will raise you a Daniel Radcliffe voicing for Thomas

[Hit Girl]

I always felt sorry for Annie. She had to look at Thomas' ass all day.

[Lupin the Third]

Jun 19, 2015 13:39:13 GMT -5 Hit Girl said:

I always felt sorry for Annie. She had to look at Thomas' ass all day.

Well it's either that, or turn her around and have her stare at Clarabel's ass.

[ededdneddy]

Jun 19, 2015 17:52:47 GMT -5 Lupin the Third said:

Jun 19, 2015 13:39:13 GMT -5 Hit Girl said:

I always felt sorry for Annie. She had to look at Thomas' ass all day.

Well it's either that, or turn her around and have her stare at Clarabel's ass.

Literally a Human well...Train Centipede before the real thing was even made.

[Hit Girl]

I liked it whenever Daisy appeared, they would play that sleazy stripper theme music.

[Demented]

I grew up watching Thomas The Tank Engine. I had a whole bunch of metal/plastic trains, had a lot of the wooden toys and even had a Lionel Thomas set. I knew the opening jingle by heart. Hell, when I got older and had train simulators for the PC, I'd look for Thomas mods/trains to use and make up stories.

I still remember, when I was 4, I asked my mom who "George Carlin" was. She, with this look of shock and horror, said "Uh... he's a comedian."

When I got older, my mom told me her real first thought on that day: "Why the f*** is George Carling narrating a kids show?"

I love Thomas The Tank Engine. Mavis was my favorite character on the show.

[G✇JI☈A]

Thomas The Tank Engine was a favourite of my early childhood.

[Lupin the Third]

And now for the long awaited (or not) next part of my look back at a childhood friend.

THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE: A RETROSPECTIVE REVIEW
Part 4: Growing Pains

After Series 4, it was basically determined that all stories going forward would be original stories thought up by Britt Allcroft and David Mitton. Another change was that George Carlin would no longer narrate Thomas for the US audience. So another famous name would come in to narrate Thomas and Friends in the states.



Yep, Alec Baldwin. The man who starred in Beetlejuice, Knots Landing, The Hunt for Red October, and many others was now the voice of Thomas and Friends. And while he was a decent narrator, he didn't really compare to the greatness of Ringo Starr and George Carlin. Plus, he made James sound kinda flamboyant. Kinda REALLY flamboyant.


"Does this red paint make my butt look big?"

Okay, maybe not that flamboyant, but you get the picture. Another thing I noticed this season was the massive amount of crashes. 17 out of the 26 episodes had some sort of accident happen. I know there were plenty of crashes in the first few seasons, but not almost 2/3 of the season had crashes in them.

And some of these were kinda violent.


"Bloody hell. I hope this is the only crash I have this season. 'Tis rather painful. Anybody have any aspirin for this pounding headache?"

Gordon had 4 accidents alone in this season. Prior to that, his only accident was in Series 1 episode Off the Rails. And no, jammed whistles, burst safety valves, and losing your dome do not count as accidents.


"I did not agree to this in my contract!! I was promised no river raft scenes!!"

There were also a massive amount of new characters this season, many that were one-offs for some odd reason. It was weird because one of the main reasons why the Small Railway and the Mountain Railway weren't adapted into the main series was because it was too expensive for them to make the characters. However, they created 13 new characters for this season, nine of them only showing up in one or two episodes of this season. Not really cost effective, if you ask me.

Another weird thing was two episodes this season were centered around the Fat Controller himself. One based on him going on a holiday and another of him trying to get to his wife's birthday party while keeping his suit clean.


Because if any major character needed more screen time, it was the Fat Hatt.

Series 6 and 7 would bring even more new characters in, many of them would be steam engines. One of the big issues I have with this is that when Oliver showed up, steam engines were a rarity so to speak. Now, they were popping out of the woodwork left and right. One would become a major staple of the "Steam Team," as they were called now.


"There's no one quite like Emily..."

Emily the Stirling Engine. There's a lot of things that are wrong with this character, one main thing being that the engine she's based on was produced over 100 years ago, and they were all withdrawn by 1916, a year after Thomas joined the North Western Railway. But that's another discussion for another time.

Another problem I have with the character is her personality. When she was first introduced in Series 7, she was sweet, gentle, and made you feel all giddy inside and want to get to know her better. That was the Emily that I wanted to know better. Series 8? She became a stuck up, know it all, bossy little bi-


"WATCH IT!! Or I'll smack your shit up!!"



Anyways, these 3 series were the last of the 5 minute, classic look of the series. Next time, we'll get into the newer series, and the change of story form. Not for the better either.

But finally, we get to the train wreck of this series.



Thomas and the Magic Railroad.

Released in 2000 between Series 5 and 6, it was Thomas' debut on the big screen, and involved both Thomas & Friends and Shining Time Station. The problem with this is that nobody in the UK watched Shining Time Station, as it was the American Show that introduced Thomas to the states, so they had no clue about it, and didn't really give a shit about it.

Anyways, let's look at the cast, and it was a fairly decent cast. You had Didi Conn as Stacey Jones, Peter Fonda, Alec Baldwin as Mr. Conductor, Mara Wilson in her last movie role to date, and Russell Means as Billy Twofeathers.

This kinda struck me as odd casting for Billy. I know Billy was Native American in the television series, and was okay with that. In fact, he was one of my favorite characters in Season 2 going forward. But let's take a look. This is what he looked like in Shining Time Station, played by one Tom Jackson.



Little bit of gray hair, but nothing major. Had a great look that went along with the portrayal of the character.

Now let's see how he looked in Thomas and the Magic Railroad, portrayed by Russell Means.



Man, time was not kind to you, Billy Twofeathers.

Anyways, back to the movie. We see a new villain, Diesel 10, who's looking to destroy a "lost engine" and take over Sodor. He has a immense hatred of steam engines for........some reason. I don't think they actually say why he hates steam engines. Not sure if it was the same superiority that most diesel characters felt in the books and TV series, or if he lent one some money, and was never paid back.


"I hate Steam Engines!!!!"


"Why?"


"I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!"

I'm sorry, I had to put that in there. Anyways, another side story was the fact that Peter Fonda's character was protecting this lost engine, known as Lady, but could not get her to steam. He was depressed about this, and the fact he had an accident with Lady prior to the film. However, with a little help from his granddaughter, he would be able to make Lady steam again, and help bring the magic back to the railway connecting Thomas' world with Shining Time, and return the lost gold dust to Mr. Conductor and his nephew, Mr. C Junior. Which also didn't make any sense if you think about it.

Yeah, it's a movie that's better if you don't think about it too hard. I enjoyed when I first saw it 15 years ago, but I probably haven't watched it since then, as it really didn't hold up. In fact, it only made $19.7 million worldwide, and cost $19 million to make.

I have read that the final version was cut down immensely, and that the original version was much better, with another villain character named P.T. Boomer. But he was cut out due to being too dark and frightening for the US Audience.

So it might've been better, but we'll never know.

Next time, we'll look into the beginning of even more decline in the product. In the meantime....

[Deleted]

Jun 18, 2015 18:21:04 GMT -5 Eunös ✈ said:

No word of a lie, I use to find this mother f***er beyond scary back when I was a kid.

Remind me of Thwomp from mario bros. Shining Time Station is probably one of the first show I'd remember watching as a kid.

[ICBM]

"The fat controller"=no-go in the US version.
Until about a yr ago I did not know the UK version called him that. I honestly like the Sir Topham Hat moniker.

[Deleted]

I think all the characters are total assholes, honestly.

[Lupin the Third]

Hello again, F.A.N. It is I, Lupin the Third, here to give you another installment of looking back at one of my childhood favorites.

THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE: A RETROSPECTIVE REVIEW
PART 5: TIMES HAVE CHANGED, THINGS HAVE CHANGED.....

So last time, I mentioned that Season 7 (or Series 7 for those across the pond) was the last season to be produced in the film style that the show originally began with. It was also the last season for Britt Allcroft and David Mitton, as HiT entertainment took over.

This also was the first season to increase the amount for each episode. For the first 7 seasons, the episodes were usually around 5 minutes long. Now, they were bumped up to about 7-8 minutes.

But hey, as long as the little things stayed the same, I'm sure everything would be just f-





What the hell was THAT?!!

I also forgot to mention that the music composers for Thomas & Friends, Mike O'Donnell and Junior Campbell (geniuses, I might add), left the show after Season 7. So Robert Hartshorne and Ed Welch took over as composer and song writer for the show.

And right off the bat, the music SUCKS. They took away all the Engines' personal themes and replaced it with boring, generic CRAP.

Also gone was a lot of the main characters we had grown to love. Enjoy Duck and Oliver? They won't be back for a few seasons. Donald & Douglas? Same thing. Bill & Ben?....Well, you get the idea.

The producers set it up so there was a main group of characters, known as the "Steam Team." This was comprised of the first 7, Thomas, Edward, Henry, Gordon, James, Percy, and Toby, as well as Emily. They would also have a group of Diesels, which would include Salty, Mavis, Diesel, and the Iron Works twins, Arry and Bert. Not sure why they keep bringing back Diesel, giving his track record. Or Arry and Bert, since they cause trouble all the time as well. Well, at least the few times they were shown.

And the characterization of the characters took a tumble as well.

Thomas - Gone is the experienced, but cheeky little tank engine. Now he's a goody two shoes wanting to help EVERYONE.

Edward - Kind and knowledgable no more. Now he has to prove himself over and over.

Henry - Like I stated before, apparently forgot how to pull passenger trains over the course of a season.

Gordon - Pompous windbag.......actually that sounds about right. Moving on.

James - Less flamboyant than before, but still quite vain......Sounds right.

Percy - No more cheeky personality. Now he's more dense than a sack of concrete.

Toby - Old, wise sage no more. Now he's a scared little chicken shit.

Emily - Used to be kind and caring, now she's a b-....well this was spoken about before as well.

I may be harsh, but this is where I felt the series basically hit rock bottom. And no People's Elbow to follow up with it. Gone was the magic and fun of the old series. Now we were stuck with this garbage.

And you must be thinking, "It has to get better, right?" Well, we'll get to that in my next installment, where we see more new characters pop up, the Small Railway returns, and the controversy about a certain engine's gender.