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Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Oct 20, 2014 14:11:48 GMT -5
Wanna elaborate on that, or...? I will when I am at a keyboard rather than a phone. Ever been addicted to anything, or known someone who has? Ever been mentally ill or known someone who is?
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Oct 20, 2014 14:48:41 GMT -5
Wanna elaborate on that, or...? I will when I am at a keyboard rather than a phone. Ever been addicted to anything, or known someone who has? Ever been mentally ill or known someone who is? Look, I know there are things that are beyond people's control but it's not an excuse to be a genuine threat to the people around you. I've said it before and I'll say it again, this guy nearly killed people. At some point you've got to stop making excuses and start making people face the consequences of their own actions. There are plenty of addicts and mentally ill people out there and yet most of them aren't manipulative assholes who don't care if their bullshit kills other people. Hell, most people in mental institutions and in rehab are there of their own accord, because they DO care about the people around them and want to improve as a person. When you have a problem, refuse to fix it, refuse the help people want to give you, manipulate those who try to help you and endanger their life, yes, you ARE responsible for what you're doing When some alcoholic gets shitfaced and then kills people because he decided to drive instead of calling a taxi, nobody goes "you don't get it, it's not his fault! He was drunk! And sure it's his fault that he was drunk and showed utter contempt for the life of those around him by driving anyway, but for some reason it's still not his fault".
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Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Oct 20, 2014 14:59:24 GMT -5
I will when I am at a keyboard rather than a phone. Ever been addicted to anything, or known someone who has? Ever been mentally ill or known someone who is? Look, I know there are things that are beyond people's control but it's not an excuse to be a genuine threat to the people around you. I've said it before and I'll say it again, this guy nearly killed people. At some point you've got to stop making excuses and start making people face the consequences of their own actions. There are plenty of addicts and mentally ill people out there and yet most of them aren't manipulative assholes who don't care if their bullshit kills other people. Hell, most people in mental institutions and in rehab are there of their own accord, because they DO care about the people around them and want to improve as a person. When you have a problem, refuse to fix it, refuse the help people want to give you, manipulate those who try to help you and endanger their life, yes, you ARE responsible for what you're doing When some alcoholic gets shitfaced and then kills people because he decided to drive instead of calling a taxi, nobody goes "you don't get it, it's not his fault! He was drunk! And sure it's his fault that he was drunk and showed utter contempt for the life of those around him by driving anyway, but for some reason it's still not his fault". Which is why the OP called the cops and got the guy help. He is holding his stepson accountable for his actions. No one in this thread is, or should be, arguing that he should just get off scot free just because he's an addict, nor are they making excuses - simply saying that 'oh good karma's catching up with this asshole' (or however you specifically phrased it) is not the attitude to be taking and certainly isn't going to help the situation at all. Especially since paradoxically, the whole reason for half of his awful actions will be as a result of the typical addict self loathing.
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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Oct 20, 2014 15:10:21 GMT -5
Look, I know there are things that are beyond people's control but it's not an excuse to be a genuine threat to the people around you. I've said it before and I'll say it again, this guy nearly killed people. At some point you've got to stop making excuses and start making people face the consequences of their own actions. There are plenty of addicts and mentally ill people out there and yet most of them aren't manipulative assholes who don't care if their bullshit kills other people. Hell, most people in mental institutions and in rehab are there of their own accord, because they DO care about the people around them and want to improve as a person. When you have a problem, refuse to fix it, refuse the help people want to give you, manipulate those who try to help you and endanger their life, yes, you ARE responsible for what you're doing When some alcoholic gets shitfaced and then kills people because he decided to drive instead of calling a taxi, nobody goes "you don't get it, it's not his fault! He was drunk! And sure it's his fault that he was drunk and showed utter contempt for the life of those around him by driving anyway, but for some reason it's still not his fault". Which is why the OP called the cops and got the guy help. He is holding his stepson accountable for his actions. No one in this thread is, or should be, arguing that he should just get off scot free just because he's an addict, nor are they making excuses - simply saying that 'oh good karma's catching up with this asshole' (or however you specifically phrased it) is not the attitude to be taking and certainly isn't going to help the situation at all. Especially since paradoxically, the whole reason for half of his awful actions will be as a result of the typical addict self loathing. Strictly speaking none of our comments 'help' the situation regardless of what we say. It's not like the stepson is going to read them.
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Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Oct 20, 2014 15:21:02 GMT -5
Which is why the OP called the cops and got the guy help. He is holding his stepson accountable for his actions. No one in this thread is, or should be, arguing that he should just get off scot free just because he's an addict, nor are they making excuses - simply saying that 'oh good karma's catching up with this asshole' (or however you specifically phrased it) is not the attitude to be taking and certainly isn't going to help the situation at all. Especially since paradoxically, the whole reason for half of his awful actions will be as a result of the typical addict self loathing. Strictly speaking none of our comments 'help' the situation regardless of what we say. It's not like the stepson is going to read them. Of course not - my post isn't about the stepson in particular, but about anyone who has mental, emotional or drug problems that SsnakeBite may know at some point.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2014 18:17:24 GMT -5
The last thing our city needs is another shithead enabling our backalley drug pushers while they corrode into oblivion. This is from one Naptowner to another.
Unfortunately, some people are beyond help, and there comes a time where you have to wipe your hands. He may have a severe mental or psychological problem (which the US health system failed so miserably at), but it is clear he can still make valid choices in life and has an understanding of right from wrong.
I feel so sorry for you... you didn't deserve this. I hope he got the help he so desperately needs, but I have a bad feeling this won't have a happy ending.
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,373
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Oct 24, 2014 22:55:37 GMT -5
Well, my wife had a blast today. I had assumed that since he stayed in the hospital beyond the 72 hours that they cops could force him to stay that he had decided to try to get help while he was there. As it turns out, the hospital had deemed him a risk and had gotten an extra 48 hours added to that time. At 12:45 today he gave them the big middle finger and refused long term treatment, forcing them to let him go. He called up his mother, expecting to be picked up. When she picked him up, he spent the next 3 hours treating her like absolute shit.
Me? I was at work in Indy when she texted me that he was out. I had to wrap up a few things before I could leave, and then left work in the middle of rush hour, which added another hour or so to my normally 1 hr commute (I go in and leave at off-peak hours to avoid traffic). I got there just as he was finishing his latest rant on her and she left with him to drop him off near wherever he intends to stay (we don't really know where that is because he had his mother drop him off near the hospital where he took off on foot in order to keep her from knowing where he was going).
I got to hear about all of the fun that I missed out on when she got back.
- He said that she was a terrible person for calling the cops on him (apparently he did nothing wrong, as far as he is concerned). BTW, I called the cops, not my wife, so he cussed her out about that for no damned reason.
- He was pissed at her because she was washing his clothes when he called for his ride. She was anticipating taking him some fresh changes of clothes and all of his clothes stank (he always got pissed at his mother whenever she would wash his clothes or clean the pigsty he called a room). It's not like she came across anything, so he got pissed just to get pissed.
- He said that he was not diagnosed with bipolar disorder or ADHD. When his mother said that his therapist had point blank told her that they had diagnosed him as that he called his mother a liar. He claimed that they wanted to blame all of his problems on drugs, and he did not have a drug problem so they were full of shit.
- He got mad at his mother because he could not use our insurance to get some meds that they prescribed to him. He was furious that we did not tell him that he was not on our insurance, but we have told him multiple times that he was not. In fact, the time in July he agreed to go to rehab we could not get him in because he was not insured and my employer said that they were barred by law from adding him under the circumstances. By the time that we scheduled an appointment to file for Medicaid to pay for rehab, he had already decided against going and skipped his appointment. How he had forgotten that fiasco is beyond me, but he did. He told the hospital he had insurance. Had they known he did not, he could have gotten those meds from the hospital pharmacy. Instead, his mother is the terrible person who did not tell him he did not have insurance.
He said other things, but those are the ones that come to mind right now that my wife had relayed to me. My 15 year old (the one he sort of assaulted on Sunday) mentioned a few other, really weird things he said about how he and his brother treat women differently. I don't know. Did I mention that he does not seem to be right in the head?
Anyways, he left the house of his own accord. I am going to take that to mean that he abandoned his residence status here. If/when he shows up again, I will call the cops to make him leave. I cannot and will not let him back in the house. I will not help him with anything if he continues to refuse to get actual help. I cannot and will not tolerate any more bullshit.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 24, 2014 23:41:23 GMT -5
I couldn't deal with all of that drama. I'd be all "you're 19 have fun figuring out that life doesn't owe you anything" and boot his ass out into the streets.
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,373
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Oct 25, 2014 14:31:37 GMT -5
I guess the new plan is that we are getting everyone to pool the money they were going to give him for Christmas and use it to rent this fleabag hotel room that only rents by the week or month. $560 a month, all utilities included, and all the registered sex offender, druggie neighbors you could ever want. As terrible an environment that is for him, it isn't the streets and it isn't anywhere near my house.
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riseofsetian1981
King Koopa
"I met him fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left."
Posts: 10,323
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Post by riseofsetian1981 on Oct 25, 2014 14:46:08 GMT -5
You guys are much nicer than my parents or anyone would ever be to someone like that.
My parents would've sent me out on my ass, changed the locks, and changed their numbers by now.
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Professor Chaos
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Bringer of Destruction and Maker of Doom
Posts: 16,332
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Post by Professor Chaos on Oct 25, 2014 15:49:47 GMT -5
That boy needs a whoopin. I'd be takin off my belt and whackin him across his keister like it was a yapapi indian strap match.
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Post by Mister Pigwell on Oct 25, 2014 15:54:44 GMT -5
I don't have much to add, my oldest step child is only 8 and lord knows I have no advice.
Just wanna say thanks for these constant updates and the window into your life. I've read and reread these threads numerous times.
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adamclark52
El Dandy
I'm one with the Force; the Force is with me
Posts: 8,139
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Post by adamclark52 on Oct 25, 2014 16:07:50 GMT -5
Yeah man, I know the kid is severely troubled but after that last outburst I'd get him the f*** out and never let him back in again.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 25, 2014 16:15:31 GMT -5
I guess the new plan is that we are getting everyone to pool the money they were going to give him for Christmas and use it to rent this fleabag hotel room that only rents by the week or month. $560 a month, all utilities included, and all the registered sex offender, druggie neighbors you could ever want. As terrible an environment that is for him, it isn't the streets and it isn't anywhere near my house. Lemme guess... a Dollar Inn? Yeah, I'm familiar with them shitholes.
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,373
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Oct 25, 2014 19:46:34 GMT -5
Yeah man, I know the kid is severely troubled but after that last outburst I'd get him the f*** out and never let him back in again. Well, he is out now. We are talking about the shithole hotel so that he can't make us feel guilty when we don't let him back in when it gets cold.
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adamclark52
El Dandy
I'm one with the Force; the Force is with me
Posts: 8,139
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Post by adamclark52 on Oct 25, 2014 19:57:17 GMT -5
Yeah man, I know the kid is severely troubled but after that last outburst I'd get him the f*** out and never let him back in again. Well, he is out now. We are talking about the shithole hotel so that he can't make us feel guilty when we don't let him back in when it gets cold. Dude, I read some of your older threads. You have NOTHING to feel guilty about.
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,373
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Oct 25, 2014 20:08:54 GMT -5
I guess the new plan is that we are getting everyone to pool the money they were going to give him for Christmas and use it to rent this fleabag hotel room that only rents by the week or month. $560 a month, all utilities included, and all the registered sex offender, druggie neighbors you could ever want. As terrible an environment that is for him, it isn't the streets and it isn't anywhere near my house. Lemme guess... a Dollar Inn? Yeah, I'm familiar with them shitholes. Probably similar, but it is a local establishment called the Southern Wind Inn. I drove by the place. It is appropriate that its name is a euphemism for a fart.
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Post by edgestar on Oct 25, 2014 21:44:02 GMT -5
I hope for the best for your family. You can only take so much before you've had enough. I will keep you and your family in thought.
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Juice
El Dandy
Wrong? Oh he can tell ya about being wrong.
I'm the one who raised you from perdition.
Posts: 8,172
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Post by Juice on Oct 26, 2014 8:13:48 GMT -5
I too am one of the many who read these threads. I hate to say it, but they almost fascinate me. It's been a while since I have seen one of these though. It's nice to see that your wife is finally stepping up and doing what needs to be done, for her sake, yours, your kids, and the brat.
I think the motel is a nice idea in concept, but he's probably gonna bail on it once the paid time is over. Then will show right back up at your house. Based on the knowledge that I have from your previous threads I see this as a certainty.
Then you guys will still be in a bad position. I hope this kid f***s off and leaves you guys alone though, and even though every time I read these threads I wonder why you just don't beat his ass, it's good that you haven't. But I have to ask, if he put his hands on your 15 and you don't want him around, than why didn't you guys press charges on him and a pfa?
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Post by Red Impact on Oct 26, 2014 8:24:45 GMT -5
One thing I would do right now is move forwardwith the restraining order, that way there's less possibility of him being forced back into the house on a technicality.
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