chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,700
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Post by chrom on Feb 19, 2015 22:32:47 GMT -5
Big Bossman: Oh can't anyone in this company take the Law into their own hands?
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Post by RI Richmark on Feb 21, 2015 16:19:43 GMT -5
The Authority is tired of Curtis Axel demanding to be in the main event of WrestleMania.
Triple H: If you don't shut up, we're going to have to put you on Superstars. Axel: You already put me on Superstars. Triple H: Then we'll put you on the crappy wrestling show we saw on Destination America! Axel: [meekly] I'll be good.
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dav
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 6,030
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Post by dav on Feb 21, 2015 17:15:52 GMT -5
Vince: OK, so then we bring in Mr T and Cyndi Lauper!
Dunn: WrestleMania is going to be great!
Vince Sr: What's all this racket?
Vince: It's called Rock and Wrestling dad, you wouldn't understand, you're not with 'it'.
Vince Sr: Oh, I used to be with 'it', but then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't 'it' and what 'it' is seems strange and scary to me. And it'll happen to you to...
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ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
ededdandembed
Posts: 5,697
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Post by ededdneddy on Feb 21, 2015 17:34:31 GMT -5
Auora: Mom! This whole thing about daddy wrestling is really creepy. You sure you won't talk to Dad?
Stephanie: I'd like to, honey, but I'm not sure how. Your father can be surprisingly sensitive. When I giggled at his King of Kings skull helmet he sulked for a week and then stopped using it.
Auora: You'll have to hurt his feelings. The longer he lives like this, the harder it'll be to go back.
Stephanie: You're right. Maybe if I use my least bitchy tone of voice. Hunter. *changes pitch* Hunter. *gets it right* Hunter? That's the one. All right. Send him on in.
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MrElijah
Crow T. Robot
Posts: 42,943
Member is Online
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Post by MrElijah on Feb 21, 2015 23:06:27 GMT -5
News Reporter: News. A man who's been in a coma for 23 years wakes up.
Man: Are Hulk Hogan & Macho Man still wresling?
Reporter: Well no. Macho passed away 4 years ago & Hulk had a sex tape.
Man: Good night!! (Dies)
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Post by G✇JI☈A on Feb 28, 2015 6:19:13 GMT -5
Here is one from the future.
*CM Punk dejected after UFC does not work out enters Titan Towers*
Secretary: Can I help you? Punk: I was hoping I could apply for my old job. Secretary: through that door. *the secretary points at a doggie door located at the bottom of Vince McMahon's door. The doggie door says "Lawler's Entrance" .. Punk reluctantly crawls through, Vince is waiting at the other side" Vince: So, you've come crawling back!
*later in the locker room*
Punk: Thanks for having me back. Vince: Now that you are back its customary to give you the.. Plague! Kevin Dunn: Umm that's Plaque sir.. Vince: Yes, here it is.. "Don't forget: you're here in the Midcard forever"!
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Gecko
Grimlock
FAN Pyrite Member. Muahahaha
Posts: 13,252
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Post by Gecko on Feb 28, 2015 6:56:54 GMT -5
Jerry Lawler is reading reviews for the previous PPV:
Jerry: Last night's Pay Per View delivered wall-to-wall laughs without exception... Phew! The only exception was the dated humour of WWE's Crown carrying, 'Puppies!' loving hack... [turns pages] Yeah yeah yeah... Jerry The King Lawler! Ohhhhh...
This next one is not quite Simpsons, but I figure it's close enough.
FAN #1: This is the worst part. The pre-show before Raw. FAN #2: And then Raw's not so bad? FAN #1: Oh, right. I forgot about Raw.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 11, 2015 18:19:28 GMT -5
I am sure someone else has done this in the past but what the hay...
HHH awakens Vince from a terrible dream
HHH: Vince! Vince, wake up! There's still a few minutes till our usual booking meeting.
Vince: Oh, my WM main event! All our booking problems could have been---
HHH: Booking problems? Vince, are we in some sort of creative trouble?
[Vince imagines HHH dressed like a prince]
Vince: Oh, Paul, my loyal son, of course not.
[Stephanie walks up: Vince imagines her differently]
And Stephanie, my little princess.
[Kevin Dunn walks up]
And who could forget dear Ratboy?
Kevin Dunn: Ratboy? I resent that. [gnaws on doorframe]
HHH: Kev, I told you before, stop gnawing on the drywall.
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Post by RI Richmark on Mar 12, 2015 7:26:58 GMT -5
Triple H calls Big Show at home:
Triple H: Show, what are you doing at home? Why aren't you at RAW?
Show: I made a bad mistake and Stephanie sent me home to think about what I did. I don't remember what it was, so I'm watching TV.
After WrestleMania XXXI:
Vince McMahon: I see it all, now. You're just a bunch of yes-men. I was making the wrong moves and you were too gutless to tell me! Isn't that right??
Yes-men: Oh, yes, sure, etc.
Kevin Dunn: Right on, sir
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Heartbreaker
King Koopa
Is actually Bindi Irwin
RIP Punk's media scrum, Page 54, Muffins, Biting People Bad™ (2022 - 2022)
Posts: 11,846
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Post by Heartbreaker on Mar 12, 2015 8:22:14 GMT -5
Vince McMahon: Welcome home, son. I broke two lamps and lost all your mail. What's wrong with your wife? Triple H: Nevermind, you wouldn't understand. Vince McMahon: Flu? Triple H: No. Vince McMahon: Protein deficiency? Triple H: No. Vince McMahon: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis? Triple H: No. Vince McMahon: Unsatisfying sex life? Triple H: N- yes. But please, don't you say that word. Vince McMahon: What, seeeeeeeeeeeeex? What's so unappealing about hearing your elderly father-in-law talk about sex? I had seeeeeeeeeeeeeex! Triple H: *shudders*
----
*Vince McMahon meeting Paige* Vince McMahon: So Paige, have you heard all the latest American jokes? Uh... here's a good one: pull my finger! Paige: *chuckles* Yes, we have that one in England too, Mr. McMahon. Vince McMahon: *in a threatening tone* I said pull my finger!
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Post by BRAINFADE on Mar 12, 2015 10:28:22 GMT -5
Triple H: Must we end every booking meeting by digging up a corpse?
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chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,700
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Post by chrom on Mar 12, 2015 14:02:24 GMT -5
*Big Show is eating at an all you can eat sea buffet and crowds have lined up to watch him eat.
CJ Parker: I hear they shaved a Gorilla
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chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,700
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Post by chrom on Apr 6, 2015 16:03:33 GMT -5
CM Punk is trying out for UFC but the registration fee is a bit higher than he thought, so he decides to go to the one person who he knows can always support him in financial times.
*In bed with AJ.
AJ: No I will not give you 500 dollars for sex!
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Post by Porky's Butthole on Apr 6, 2015 17:21:03 GMT -5
Vince:"You get to go to Wrestlemania."
Fans:"That's good!"
Vince:"Roman Reins is main eventing."
Fans:"That's bad."
Vince:"Rollins will run in and cash in his MITB."
Fans:"That's good."
Vince:"Cena will defeat Rusev."
Fans:"That's bad."
Vince:"Undertaker will wrestle."
Fans:"That's good!"
Vince:"Versus Bray Wyatt..."
Fans:"That's bad."
Vince:"Sting will wrestle his first WWE match."
Fans:"That's good!"
Vince:"He'll lose to HHH after DX and nWo interfere."
Fans:"That's bad."
Vince:"Hideo Itami will be in the ARMBAR."
Fans:"That's good!"
Vince:"The ARMBAR will be during the preshow."
Fans:"That's bad."
Vince:"Michael Cole will be destroyed the next night on Raw."
Fans:"That's good!"
Vince:"He'll be back the next week."
Fans:"......."
Vince:"That's bad."
Fans:"Can I go now?"
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