Is this girl hitting on me?

[Sephiroth]

I hate to be the guy to post another of THESE threads, but I'm honestly a bit confused and could use some feedback. The situation goes like this: there is a girl who I knew way back in high school, in those early days of the when Instant Message was king. We were pretty tight, at least as tight can be given the distance (she lived in Florida I live in NJ) but we eventually lost touch. We recently reconnected via social media. She is now engaged and even has a kid, but she recently confided in me that she is starting to be unsure about the relationship because of some less than pleasant habits her fiance has-I won't go into detail about that. I did my best to lend a good ear and tried to encourage her to keep her chin up.

Anyhow, in the last couple months since then she has been tossing little things into our conversations via the phone, email, and IM that seem kind of awkward to me. For instance, she has been on a fitness kick recently and has been talking about how much she has lost weight. I've been getting back in the gym myself, so we have been trading tips and comparing goals. At one point she told me how much weight she has lost and said "So if we ever did, I wouldn't crush you." Another time she was describing how much she can squat and how strong her legs are getting and said "I bet I could choke you out with them." She's also boasted of some exploits that I won't describe here, since I don't want to get banned for life.

Now, as I have said many times, I am a total novice in the arena of women and relationships. I am comfortably single and happily encourage others to be so. So I really have no idea when a woman is trying to flirt with me or not. And odds are very good that my friend just has a raunchy sense of humor or perhaps has a slight brain-mouth disconnect. But when she says some things like this, it just strikes me as a tad out there for a woman who is in a relationship, engaged no less, to be saying. Or am I just old fashioned in thinking a woman who is set to tie the knot should not be making such statements to a man other than her intended?

[Lila]

Dec 15, 2014 10:09:16 GMT -5 Sephiroth said:

I hate to be the guy to post another of THESE threads

Ok, so why did you make this thread?

[Sephiroth]

Dec 15, 2014 10:33:16 GMT -5 Lila said:

Dec 15, 2014 10:09:16 GMT -5 Sephiroth said:

I hate to be the guy to post another of THESE threads

Ok, so why did you make this thread?

Because I legit am confused and need some advice?

[Push R Truth]

Ask "Are you hitting on me?" and you'll get your answer


Sounds like she is being open with you, might as well be open back


But seriously, if any of us knew the answer to your problem we'd be making millions a year off some shitty relationship advice website/book/Lifetime Movie

[Lila]

Dec 15, 2014 10:36:12 GMT -5 Sephiroth said:

Dec 15, 2014 10:33:16 GMT -5 Lila said:

Ok, so why did you make this thread?

Because I legit am confused and need some advice?

I know and I'm joking. You should just relax and let it happen naturally. Don't ever try to force yourself unless your forcefulness happens naturally if you understand me.

[Sephiroth]

Dec 15, 2014 10:42:46 GMT -5 Lila said:

Dec 15, 2014 10:36:12 GMT -5 Sephiroth said:

Because I legit am confused and need some advice?

I know and I'm joking. You should just relax and let it happen naturally. Don't ever try to force yourself unless your forcefulness happens naturally if you understand me.

That's the thing: I'm not trying to force anything and really don't want to. She's engaged and I woukd never want to be the other guy. My concerns is that she's having problems in her relationship with her fiancé and she's venting by flirting with another guy, which I really don't think is the best way of handling it.

["Gentleman" AJ Powell]

If you're that close friends, she's probably just joking around. My female friends and I say shit like that to each other all the time. Really, you should just be happy that she considers you that close a friend that she can get away with those kind of jokes.

[Zombie Mod]

sounds like she's just wanting a bit of online fun before marriage.

[Sephiroth]

Dec 15, 2014 12:38:41 GMT -5 "Gentleman" AJ Powell said:

If you're that close friends, she's probably just joking around. My female friends and I say shit like that to each other all the time. Really, you should just be happy that she considers you that close a friend that she can get away with those kind of jokes.

I'm hoping that is the extent of it. But I do t have many female friends, at least not any who make say things like that. And I'll confess to being a total prude in such matters so she may also just be trying to bust my chops.

[Push R Truth]

Dec 15, 2014 12:52:16 GMT -5 Sephiroth said:

Dec 15, 2014 12:38:41 GMT -5 "Gentleman" AJ Powell said:

If you're that close friends, she's probably just joking around. My female friends and I say shit like that to each other all the time. Really, you should just be happy that she considers you that close a friend that she can get away with those kind of jokes.

I'm hoping that is the extent of it. But I do t have many female friends, at least not any who make say things like that. And I'll confess to being a total prude in such matters so she may also just be trying to bust my chops.

I think you have a good grasp on it dude if that means anything.

[Sephiroth]

Dec 15, 2014 12:56:15 GMT -5 Push R Truth said:

Dec 15, 2014 12:52:16 GMT -5 Sephiroth said:

I'm hoping that is the extent of it. But I do t have many female friends, at least not any who make say things like that. And I'll confess to being a total prude in such matters so she may also just be trying to bust my chops.

I think you have a good grasp on it dude if that means anything.

Anyone who reads my posts knows I have zero experience with women so I have no knowledge of how they're minds work.

[A Platypus Rave]

They don't work all that differently than any other person's mind.

with synapses and such.

[Hit Girl]

She is now engaged and even has a kid, but she recently confided in me that she is starting to be unsure about the relationship because of some less than pleasant habits her fiance has-I won't go into detail about that. I did my best to lend a good ear and tried to encourage her to keep her chin up.

That's all you should do, if she's getting married. Her problems with her fiancee are her own to deal with.

[Deleted]

Just keep enjoying the conversation, but don't expect anything.

You're basically an entire country away from her and she probably just sees you as a fun person to talk/flirt with, with the safety net that nothing will really happen because you're so far apart.

[Sephiroth]

For the record-I have no romantic interest in her, never really have. It just never entered into it, which is why some of the things she has said lately have got me confused.

[Hit Girl]

She's confused.

[The Unconquered Sun]

Maybe she just wants a friend to be an open ear and strong shoulder. And that's ok. Be that friend. But until she calls off the wedding don't think it will lead to anything else.
Good luck.

[Sephiroth]

Dec 15, 2014 15:20:25 GMT -5 Hit Girl said:

She's confused.

That's what my chief concern is here. To add some further information: she abs her fiancé are both in the military and currently stationed in freaking Okinawa. He was deployed there first and she actually applied to be deployed as well to be with him. So it's not "Maybe I've got a shot," even if I were interested she is on the other side of the planet. What I'm a little worried about is tgat she's having come feet, second thoughts, or some other kind if problem in the relationship and that being flirtatious with another guy is her way of trying to send a message. But I don't think that is the way to do it, and I'm kind of dancing around saying this outright to her. But if she wasn't actually being flirtatious I'll certainly look the perfect fool for misreading her.

[Thaal Sinestro]

Look elsewhere. Unless she breaks up with her fiance don't even think about trying anything.

[Kash Flagg]

Stay single.