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Post by Mr. Emoticon Man, TF Fan on Dec 19, 2014 20:46:14 GMT -5
Dude hasn't seen his son in over a year and a half because the psychotic cow-beast from Hell that he's divorcing wouldn't let him.
And now that she has finally decided that it'd be okay for him to do so, she's giving him a whopping 2 hours of supervised visitation at her parents' house - where every relative she can muster will undoubtedly be in attendance to make him feel as uncomfortable as possible.
My brother and I haven't always been on great terms, but damn... at this point, I feel like any beef between he and I no longer matters and I ought to do whatever I can to help cheer him up this Christmas.
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Post by Digital Witness on Dec 19, 2014 20:48:54 GMT -5
Dude hasn't seen his son in over a year and a half because the psychotic cow-beast from Hell that he's divorcing wouldn't let him. And now that she has finally decided that it'd be okay for him to do so, she's giving him a whopping 2 hours of supervised visitation at her parents' house - where every relative she can muster will undoubtedly be in attendance to make him feel as uncomfortable as possible. My brother and I haven't always been on great terms, but damn... at this point, I feel like any beef between he and I no longer matters and I ought to do whatever I can to help cheer him up this Christmas. I don't know how the state you live in works, but in most cases I believe that's now lawful and he can fight that business in court. Definitely not legal for her to dictate those terms herself. |
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Post by Mr. Emoticon Man, TF Fan on Dec 19, 2014 21:12:23 GMT -5
If it isn't, I'd sure like to know what his lawyer is doing - especially since I ponied up a thousand bucks when this all started to help him with his lawyer fees.
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Dec 19, 2014 21:46:58 GMT -5
What state does the kid live in? That plays a role here. It still sounds like BS unless your brother has a proven history of drug use or child neglect.
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Post by MC Blowfish on Dec 19, 2014 21:56:39 GMT -5
The thing with this is most women will win whatever they want in the courts when it comes down to custody. It sucks, but it's true. Our court system is still stuck in 1955 and men are just the paycheck.
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Post by Mr. Emoticon Man, TF Fan on Dec 19, 2014 22:25:15 GMT -5
What state does the kid live in? That plays a role here. It still sounds like BS unless your brother has a proven history of drug use or child neglect. Georgia. And nope to both of those. The only black mark on my brother's record is her claim that she wasn't comfortable with their sex life - and as far as I can tell, those are her exact words. |
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,351
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Dec 19, 2014 22:25:40 GMT -5
The thing with this is most women will win whatever they want in the courts when it comes down to custody. It sucks, but it's true. Our court system is still stuck in 1955 and men are just the paycheck. Not necessarily. My dad got custody of me, though it took him a few years to do so. It is an uphill battle, but it can be done. |
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,351
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Dec 19, 2014 22:27:01 GMT -5
What state does the kid live in? That plays a role here. It still sounds like BS unless your brother has a proven history of drug use or child neglect. Georgia. And nope to both of those. The only black mark on my brother's record is her claim that she wasn't comfortable with their sex life - and as far as I can tell, those are her exact words. I.....don't get what that is supposed to mean. I never knew anyone that got divorced who was comfortable with their sex life at the end of the relationship. |
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Post by Mr. Emoticon Man, TF Fan on Dec 19, 2014 22:37:48 GMT -5
I don't really get it, either.
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Post by tigermaskxxxvii on Dec 20, 2014 0:27:45 GMT -5
That's one thing that scares me off the idea of having kids. Just the idea of people using their children as pawns to use as emotional blackmail against their ex.
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Post by Mr. Emoticon Man, TF Fan on Dec 20, 2014 1:16:46 GMT -5
Unless there is something you aren't telling us, there is no legal way for the ex to keep him from seeing the child, especially for a year and a half. He should demand to see the kid tomorrow and have her prove to the judge why he can't. In fact, this should have been done a year and a half ago. She's not his ex - yet. Dunno how that affects all of this, though. And I wish he would get pushy about this, both for his sake and for our mother's. She's never seen the kid thanks to how the hell-beast wouldn't let my brother have any contact with his friends and family while they were together, and it's torn her up something fierce. |
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ibdude
Don Corleone
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Post by ibdude on Dec 20, 2014 6:33:42 GMT -5
My sympathy to your family man. I went through something like that with my parents when I was a kid. My brother and I were caught in the middle of a dispute between the two of them similar to what your brother's going through. Let me tell you it really sucked and that's a part of my life that I hate to talk about.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 20, 2014 7:23:18 GMT -5
This is one of the few situations where men can be and usually are discriminated against.
The fact a women would potentially upset her own child with a chance of doing some damage to them mentally just to get back at an ex is disguisting.
using your child as a pawn in a game is downright deplorable.
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Post by mizzziggler on Dec 20, 2014 7:36:36 GMT -5
as a woman, I will say it:
I have seen the most terrible mothers have full custody of their children just for being a woman, and in the state I live in, the mother always wins. It makes me sick. Now, I do know of maybe 2 fathers who have full custody, but it was an uphill battle that took years and a ton of effort. By the time the father did get the custody, the children are usually already ruined by being raised in such a terrible enviroment. It breaks my heart, it really does.
You know, kids don't ask to be born. They deserve the best shot at life, and that does not always lie within the mother. Especially when they use their kids as pawns, and make a game out of parenting.
I feel for your brother. I can't even imagine.
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Capt Lunatic
Unicron
Buttah in mah ass, lollipops in mah mouth
Posts: 3,241
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Post by Capt Lunatic on Dec 20, 2014 8:03:08 GMT -5
The thing with this is most women will win whatever they want in the courts when it comes down to custody. It sucks, but it's true. Our court system is still stuck in 1955 and men are just the paycheck.
Most is true, but I work with two women going through divorces right now and they are getting hammered. They are both very hard workers and pretty good people. It's just both are single and with the amount of hours they put in they have to shuffle the kids around and use babysitters. Their exes both have girlfriends who can watch the kids full time and want full custody for the support money.
It's a rough road both ways.
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Post by MC Blowfish on Dec 20, 2014 8:53:49 GMT -5
It's still very rare for fathers to get custody let alone the desired 50/50. I work with several father's groups and I hear the same stories over and over. Like I said, it's not always like this, but the evidence is there.
I've heard multiple stories like the OP. The mother uses the child as a leveraging tool and uses the child as a way to manipulate the father and the courts. Many times the father has done nothing wrong, or has been falsely charged with anything that the mother will say. I can tell you from my own experience that when it comes to dealing with the courts or a government agency that is supposed to look out for the child's best interest, they simply side with the mother ALMOST every time. I'm lucky though that my son's mother isn't vindictive and we get along very well. So I don't have to worry about it.
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Post by MC Blowfish on Dec 20, 2014 9:00:45 GMT -5
The thing with this is most women will win whatever they want in the courts when it comes down to custody. It sucks, but it's true. Our court system is still stuck in 1955 and men are just the paycheck. Not necessarily. My dad got custody of me, though it took him a few years to do so. It is an uphill battle, but it can be done. That's why I said most. I spoke with an attorney who spent years trying get custody of his child and he was an attorney. Most of us don't have the legal knowledge to go to court and fight for custody or the financial means to be able to do it. |
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Post by Mr. Emoticon Man, TF Fan on Dec 20, 2014 10:26:59 GMT -5
as a woman, I will say it: I have seen the most terrible mothers have full custody of their children just for being a woman, and in the state I live in, the mother always wins. It makes me sick. Now, I do know of maybe 2 fathers who have full custody, but it was an uphill battle that took years and a ton of effort. By the time the father did get the custody, the children are usually already ruined by being raised in such a terrible enviroment. It breaks my heart, it really does. You know, kids don't ask to be born. They deserve the best shot at life, and that does not always lie within the mother. Especially when they use their kids as pawns, and make a game out of parenting. I feel for your brother. I can't even imagine. According to the hell-beast, the kid is already in therapy. In fact, that's one of the excuses she's used to refuse my brother's request to at least Skype with his son - she claims that it'd upset him too much. This kid is doomed. |
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Post by Mid-Carder on Dec 20, 2014 10:45:07 GMT -5
Women can be incrediblty vindictive.
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Post by Kash Flagg on Dec 20, 2014 11:00:42 GMT -5
Your brother needs to get a new lawyer if they aren't helping him. That's bullshit.
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