It's bad joke friday!

[Rumble McSkirmish]

Chris Jericho went to a party at his friends house, in the middle of the party Jericho went over to the music player and suddenly the home was filled with the dulcet tones of the song: Haven't Met You Yet. The host turned to Jericho and said "Hey man what gives? This isn't your kind of music" to which Jericho replied "Yeah I know, but right now I really wanted a little bit of the Bublé!"

[ERON]

Why did C tell B to use protection?

To prevent pregnant C.

[The Unconquered Sun]

Cyclops; What’s wrong Shadowcat?
Shadowcat; oh, I’m just going through some things.

[Spiderfab '84]

You had me at "crack".

[The Unconquered Sun]

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Britney Spears
Britney Spears Who?

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Britney Spears
Britney Spears Who?
Oops, I did it again!

[Perd]

Did you hear about the tiny bank robber that tried to escape prison by climbing down a fence?

He was a little con descending.

[DASH 243✅]

What does a wicked chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.

[The 1Watcher Experience]

A guy asks a girl to go to the prom. She asks him to get tickets. He goes and waits in line for 10 minutes, then 20 minutes, then 40 minutes but he gets the tickets. He calls her to let her know and she asks him if he has a tux. He says he can pick one up the next day. He goes to pick up the tux. He waits in line 15 minutes, then 30 minutes, then 50 minutes until he gets his tux. He calls her to let her know he’s got the tux. She says she doesn’t mean to be pushy but he’s going to have to get a limo. He says he can go arrange to rent one tomorrow. He goes to rent the limo but he has to wait in line. 30 minutes pass by, then 45 minutes, then an hour but he finally gets the limo rental set up. He calls her to tell her everything is taken care of. They go to the prom and he asks her if there’s anything he could do for her to make the night any more special for her. She says no but she’d really like a glass of punch. He says no problem and goes off to get some for her. He heads over to get her a drink and there’s no punch line.

[Spiderfab '84]

Reboot of The Cosby Show looks promising.

[The Unconquered Sun]

Why did the Stormtrooper get an iPhone?
He couldn’t find the Droid he was looking for.

[Porky's Butthole Was Wrong]

What do sprinters eat before a race?

Nothing. They fast.

[The Unconquered Sun]

i couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger and bigger.
then it hit me.

[DASH 243✅]

Knock knock
Who's there?
Spell
Spell who?
W-H-O
Or is it spelled j-i-m n-e-i-d-h-a-r-t
I never get that right

[bibboid]

If a knight in Prague puts on his armor, does that mean the Czech is in the mail?

[The Unconquered Sun]

[Gremlin]

A photon checks into a hotel. The concierge asks "Can I help with your bags?" The photon replies "I don't have any luggage. I'm traveling light."

[The Unconquered Sun]

a postman was making his rounds one cold late December day. as he was delivering the mail to a house the door flew open. in the open doorway stood a busty blonde dressed in lingerie. she grabbed him, pulled him into the house and began to make hot, passionate love to him. hours passed and she continued to make sweet love to the postman. finally when they were done and the postman was still in shock, the house wife handed him a dollar bill.
"wh-what's this for?" he asked still stunned.
"Well," she said, "we were making out our Christmas list and i asked my husband what we should tip you this year. My husband said 'F*** him, give him a dollar!"

[Spiderfab '84]

Two friends are waiting at a subway train stop when they hear a street performer; your typical up-and-coming starving musician that occasionally is allowed to perform at subway stops, strumming an instrument and singing for tips. The first friend tips the musician a dollar as a courtesy, then after about a minute of hearing the music semi-jokingly says "OK, the singer kinda sucks, I want my dollar back." The second friend says "No, no, no, don't even think about it. Just consider the dollar a donation to put towards the musician's singing lessons." The first friend nods and says "OK, in that case, I'll donate another dollar to put towards guitar lessons."

[Spiderfab '84]

[DASH 243✅]

Do you remember that joke I told you about my spine? It was about a weak back