Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2015 17:27:00 GMT -5
I mean, it is something that Paul Scheer pointed out on several podcasts, where in toy movies and "Santa movies", they are always making generic toys that children won't be playing with, most likely, such as wooden animals and teddy bears. I know that presenting elves working on motherboards and TV screens isn't as "interesting" as them hammering stuff, but it's always amusing that it's 2015, yet the workship is seemingly stuck in 1930.
In fact, one of the dumber elements of the first "Jingle All the Way" was the fact that Turbo Man was the most popular toy there was, and they sold Arnold's character a bootleg for $300, yet the bootleggers were too busy making blue bears and fake badges instead of knock off Turbo Mans.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2015 17:28:58 GMT -5
Because they're sweatshop labor. Santa Claus is a cruel taskmaster.
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Post by I'm Team Bayley and Indi on Dec 24, 2015 17:32:20 GMT -5
why does Santa give richer kids more and better presents?
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Doctor Of Style
King Koopa
Well, first they love me, and then they don't. Sometimes they do it, and sometimes they won't.
Posts: 12,104
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Post by Doctor Of Style on Dec 24, 2015 17:42:10 GMT -5
why does Santa give richer kids more and better presents? They leave him fancier cookies and organic hormone-free milk.
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Post by Hit Girl on Dec 24, 2015 17:53:39 GMT -5
In "Santa Claus: The Movie" all the elf toys were made of wood.
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Post by SHAKEMASTER TV9 is Don Knotts on Dec 24, 2015 17:57:29 GMT -5
I think The Santa Clause 1 had the elves build electronic toys in an assembly line.
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Spider2024
Patti Mayonnaise
Dedicated 6,666th post to Irontyger
I believe in Joe Hendry.
Posts: 39,201
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Post by Spider2024 on Dec 24, 2015 19:07:54 GMT -5
I was just thinking, elves must be really good at programming video games.
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Malcolm
Grimlock
Wanted something done about the color of his ring.
Eternally Confused
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Post by Malcolm on Dec 24, 2015 19:13:00 GMT -5
Because copyright is a bitch.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2015 19:17:22 GMT -5
Too busy thinking about dentistry.
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Post by Sir Woodrow on Dec 25, 2015 3:15:46 GMT -5
Too busy thinking about dentistry. f***in' misfits
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Post by Ash Kingston on Dec 25, 2015 3:30:20 GMT -5
...well, if anime has taught me anything, it's that the elves have much worse things to worry about than making a toy some kids don't like.
Or they're too busy being haughty, arrogant bastards. One of the two.
But seriously, it's probably the copyright thing.
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Post by "Mr Wonderdick" Dick Dastardly on Dec 25, 2015 3:43:53 GMT -5
Because they're all made in China.
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kidglov3s
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Wants her Shot
Who is Tiger Maskooo?
Posts: 15,870
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Post by kidglov3s on Dec 25, 2015 4:01:48 GMT -5
Of all the nitpicks to make of Christmas mythos, this must be the most glaring!
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Post by Red Impact on Dec 25, 2015 9:01:11 GMT -5
I think in Elf they were at least making Etch-a-Sketches.
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The Sam
El Dandy
The Brainiest Sam of all
Posts: 8,423
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Post by The Sam on Dec 25, 2015 10:11:04 GMT -5
THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was Sir Santa of Claus, an ape-like creature making crude and pointless toys out of dinobones and his own waste, hurling them at chimp-like creatures with crinkled hands regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so-called "toys" were buried as witches, and defecated upon, and hurled at predators when wakened by the searing grunts of children. It wasn't a holly jolly Christmas that year. For many were killed. A war-like race of elves from the Red Planet landed on the ice-encased Earth, and they were immediately enslaved by the unevolved Santa Ape to make his confused toys using galactic elfin technology. Toys were made into recognizable shapes and given names like "train, " but these toys were also thrown at predators and defecated upon because they were so stupid. Christmas still sucked, in a big way.
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Post by CATCH_US IS the Conversation on Dec 26, 2015 1:34:33 GMT -5
Apple, Microsoft, Sony, Nintendo, Samsung, etc. would go out of business if Santa's elves duplicated their technology.
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Glitch
King Koopa
Not Going To Die; Childs, we're goin' out to give Blair the test. If he tries to make it back here and we're not with him... burn him.
Watching you.
Posts: 12,714
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Post by Glitch on Dec 26, 2015 3:04:29 GMT -5
THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was Sir Santa of Claus, an ape-like creature making crude and pointless toys out of dinobones and his own waste, hurling them at chimp-like creatures with crinkled hands regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so-called "toys" were buried as witches, and defecated upon, and hurled at predators when wakened by the searing grunts of children. It wasn't a holly jolly Christmas that year. For many were killed. A war-like race of elves from the Red Planet landed on the ice-encased Earth, and they were immediately enslaved by the unevolved Santa Ape to make his confused toys using galactic elfin technology. Toys were made into recognizable shapes and given names like "train, " but these toys were also thrown at predators and defecated upon because they were so stupid. Christmas still sucked, in a big way. Wait,Wait....who unionized?
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triplethreatmark
Grimlock
Party Fouler
I look exactly like this avatar in real life.
Posts: 14,074
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Post by triplethreatmark on Dec 26, 2015 3:31:17 GMT -5
In "Santa Claus: The Movie" all the elf toys were made of wood. Apparently in the universe where this film takes place, toys haven't changed from being wood-based in over 600 years.
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The Sam
El Dandy
The Brainiest Sam of all
Posts: 8,423
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Post by The Sam on Dec 26, 2015 4:11:18 GMT -5
THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was Sir Santa of Claus, an ape-like creature making crude and pointless toys out of dinobones and his own waste, hurling them at chimp-like creatures with crinkled hands regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so-called "toys" were buried as witches, and defecated upon, and hurled at predators when wakened by the searing grunts of children. It wasn't a holly jolly Christmas that year. For many were killed. A war-like race of elves from the Red Planet landed on the ice-encased Earth, and they were immediately enslaved by the unevolved Santa Ape to make his confused toys using galactic elfin technology. Toys were made into recognizable shapes and given names like "train, " but these toys were also thrown at predators and defecated upon because they were so stupid. Christmas still sucked, in a big way. Wait,Wait....who unionized? Wouldn't YOU like to know. Probably your Momma.
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Mozenrath
FANatic
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Posts: 121,038
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Post by Mozenrath on Dec 26, 2015 4:14:19 GMT -5
Elves are simply inferior at crafting, this is a job for DWARVES!
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