I don't know about my life.

[Spiderf 4]

It's not that my life 'sucks' exactly. We've got a good house in a good neighborhood with decent money and decent health, so you could say we've 'got it all.'

Except my brain sucks.

I've got the Aspberger's Syndrome, where it seems like it's hard to 'let go' of something or some thoughts. Seems like at any one point throughout my entire life, one/two specific things has bothered me way too much to the point where it weighs down on my brain, even preventing me from functioning properly. It could be something like a boss or somebody I know who won't get out of my head, or even a celebrity who I seem to obsess over to the point where they won't get out of my head. Celebrity obsession is bad, I know that, there's something wrong with that, there's something wrong with my brain most certainly.

I've never felt like I've truly been happy. Something's always bothering me too much. I've been on medication for 20 years, and I don't know if it helps at all. The psychologist doctor I see is, I don't know, I don't think she's understand. Every time I see her we say the same mumbo jumbo and I'm out of there in 5 minutes (like our meeting today in fact). Maybe I should tell her all this, don't know what she's do besides up my meds. Maybe that would work after all.

I know I can't do anything stupid, because my family needs me too much. Also my whole family is close, so that would be taken hard. It's almost like what Metallica said "I can not live, I can not die."

It hurts. Mentally, it hurts. And there seems to be no way to stop it.

[Spiderf 4]

Oh forgot to mention all the stupid superstitions I forced upon myself over the years, which hindered me my entire life.

[General Adam]

I think that there's a lot of people in this world that don't know about their lives. This also includes me. You're not alone in this fight. If you need somebody to talk to I am here. 

[Deleted]

I can't pretend to be an expert, but you can pm me anytime that you feel like talking.

Happiness is a strange thing. It's not the same for everyone and I don't feel it can be constant. You have to deal with its presence as well as its absence every day of your life. It's not about what you have or not, for the most part, but it's different for everyone.

[The Thread Barbi]

Try channeling the obsession into a creative output. Got a friend with Asperger's and seen him use the obsession for a hobby he now enjoys. Pm me to discuss more.

[Spiderf 4]

Feb 17, 2017 8:43:03 GMT -5 The Thread Barbi said:

Try channeling the obsession into a creative output. Got a friend with Asperger's and seen him use the obsession for a hobby he now enjoys. Pm me to discuss more.

I've definitely got hobbies, a lot of them I've been lacking on for a while. Like my Top Song of the Year list I do every year. Still haven't begun the one for 2016.

Feb 16, 2017 23:28:48 GMT -5 @irontyger said:

I can't pretend to be an expert, but you can pm me anytime that you feel like talking.

Happiness is a strange thing. It's not the same for everyone and I don't feel it can be constant. You have to deal with its presence as well as its absence every day of your life. It's not about what you have or not, for the most part, but it's different for everyone.

You've definitely got a point about that. This was all weighing heavily on me last night, and when I woke up at 3 in the morning it was still heavy on my mind. Then I woke up at the normal time (for me) of 8:30, my mind was clear. So it's definitely an ebb and flow to this whole thing.

Feb 16, 2017 23:26:53 GMT -5 General Adam said:

I think that there's a lot of people in this world that don't know about their lives. This also includes me. You're not alone in this fight. If you need somebody to talk to I am here. 

Thank you to you as well.

[The Unconquered Sun]

Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk, I can't promise we'll get anything fixed but I can promise to be an open ear.
Wishing peace and happiness friend.

[edgestar]

You can always talk to me

[Gawk Rivers]

Have you ever considered whether or not your symptoms might be on the more OCD side of things?

I'm not saying this as an expert or anything, but I've had symptoms of OCD for years and your deal seems kinda in that realm.

[Spiderf 4]

Feb 17, 2017 21:56:54 GMT -5 Gawk Rivers said:

Have you ever considered whether or not your symptoms might be on the more OCD side of things?

I'm not saying this as an expert or anything, but I've had symptoms of OCD for years and your deal seems kinda in that realm.

I've considered that. It's definitely very OCD.

Also, as an aside, my neighbor, who works a lot with special needs children, says that maybe it might not be Aspberger's? She has suggested some sort of test examination which takes around 90 minutes, but we haven't gotten around to it yet.

[Gawk Rivers]

Feb 17, 2017 22:34:58 GMT -5 Spiderf 4 said:

Feb 17, 2017 21:56:54 GMT -5 Gawk Rivers said:

Have you ever considered whether or not your symptoms might be on the more OCD side of things?

I'm not saying this as an expert or anything, but I've had symptoms of OCD for years and your deal seems kinda in that realm.

I've considered that. It's definitely very OCD.

Also, as an aside, my neighbor, who works a lot with special needs children, says that maybe it might not be Aspberger's? She has suggested some sort of test examination which takes around 90 minutes, but we haven't gotten around to it yet.

That's interesting, and could possibly be true. Are you thinking about taking her up on that examination offer? It could end up being super helpful.

[Magic knows Black Lives Matter]

Feb 17, 2017 21:56:54 GMT -5 Gawk Rivers said:

Have you ever considered whether or not your symptoms might be on the more OCD side of things?

I'm not saying this as an expert or anything, but I've had symptoms of OCD for years and your deal seems kinda in that realm.

What I was thinking as well. My mom has OCD and I got a lot of the "Obessive" part of it

[Spiderf 4]

Feb 17, 2017 22:37:36 GMT -5 Gawk Rivers said:

Feb 17, 2017 22:34:58 GMT -5 Spiderf 4 said:

I've considered that. It's definitely very OCD.

Also, as an aside, my neighbor, who works a lot with special needs children, says that maybe it might not be Aspberger's? She has suggested some sort of test examination which takes around 90 minutes, but we haven't gotten around to it yet.

That's interesting, and could possibly be true. Are you thinking about taking her up on that examination offer? It could end up being super helpful.

I want to. She also suggested setting me up with one of her colleagues to do the actual exam. We talked about it a few months ago and just haven't brought it up since. But I'd still be up for it.

[GuyOfOwnage]

As someone who, while unofficially diagnosed, may very well be on the autism spectrum, I can definitely get it. I've always felt a little different, right from the time I on the schoolyard with other children. Different in the way I saw the world, the way I solved problems, the way I understood friendships, everything. And I can understand how mind-numbingly frustrating that is. And if your counsellor isn't working for you, I would strongly suggest asking to be referred to someone who might. As it stands right now, it's a waste of your time and a waste of theirs. Just recently figuring out that I may be autistic has started me on this journey, and I don't know a whole lot, I just know that I'm going to make it somehow. And you can too.

[Spiderf 4]

Feeling down again.

Anyone ever feel like every decision you make is wrong?

[edgestar]

I've felt that way sometimes, especially recently, with having to be part of the decision to put down our dog. I know he was in a lot of pain, but I can't shake the guilt feeling. I'm always here for you, if you need to talk or vent.

[Spiderf 4]

Mar 6, 2017 21:44:56 GMT -5 edgestar said:

I've felt that way sometimes, especially recently, with having to be part of the decision to put down our dog. I know he was in a lot of pain, but I can't shake the guilt feeling. I'm always here for you, if you need to talk or vent.

Thanks, and sorry about your dog, ES. I've never had a dog or cat, but I secretly hope my family's 3 pet birds outlive us all.

[The Unconquered Sun]

Yeah, I've been having that feeling a lot lately. I've made a lot of life changes as of late and every decision feels like my life got worse because of them.
Wishing all of us peace and happiness

[Spiderf 4]

Mar 6, 2017 22:38:23 GMT -5 The Unconquered Sun said:

Yeah, I've been having that feeling a lot lately. I've made a lot of life changes as of late and every decision feels like my life got worse because of them.
Wishing all of us peace and happiness

Thank you, same to you.

[The Legend of Groose]

I'm with ya. Keep looking up, we'll miss what's ahead if we look down. Hope things get better.