Just Had A Massive Blowup With My Parents (Advice Needed)

[Juice]

Arguing with parents about a wedding is par for course.

[lucas_lee]

You're completely in the right op, however for something minor, not the hill you want to die on, especially if they're paying half

[Ultimo Gallos]

This is why both my weddings were done without a pile of family there.

[Manute Bol]

Your wedding day is going to be such a whirlwind for you, I guarantee that you are not going to give two flying f***s about who is sitting at what table once things get underway.

Call your parents, say you're sorry and that you're just stressing out as the day gets closer. You don't have to mean a word of it, but it's your parents, they paid, and this is trivial bullshit that will mean nothing in a month.

[Johawn]

To be devil's advocate, whatever they've decided to pay is either a loan or a gift. If it's the first, they're not paying for it, it's your money and your call. If it's a gift, it's kinda shitty that they'd play that hand. It stops being generous when they start using it as a weapon.

I still basically think just go with it, it's going to be a wonderful day and it'll be the last thing on your mind. But I don't think their paying for half the wedding should be a consideration for you, that was their choice.

[The Unconquered Sun]

Jun 27, 2017 8:38:48 GMT -5 Juice said:

Arguing with parents about a wedding is par for course.

This is true, it's great practice for when you're arguing with your spouse everyday.

[Glitch]

Since you said you had a friend that could have taken that spot, sometime invite that person over while your parents are there and say "I wish you could have been at the wedding, but my parents wanted someone i never met before to be there instead." XD

[The Ichi]

Jun 26, 2017 13:13:04 GMT -5 Shy Guy said:

weddings and funerals bring the worst out of people\family

Literally two sides of my family still dont talk due to my sisters wedding...11 years ago.

[abjordans]

I have never gotten married, so I can't imagine the pressure. But, at the end of he day, if they are paying for a big chunk, and often help you out with money, is your brother bringing one friend that big of a deal? I mean, they are rude for it, but with that much going on, is this really something worth getting upset about? Is it going to make any difference in the day in the long run? I can't imagine that it will.

[Heeltown, USA]

Jun 26, 2017 10:46:47 GMT -5 BRAINFADE said:

I really just want to vent and get people's opinions here.

So I'm getting married in less than two weeks. Pretty much everything is done- final guest numbers, table plan, seating arrangements, dietary requirements for food, etc.

Last week, one of my relatives dropped out of coming to the ceremony and dinner in the afternoon. Upon hearing this (before me, I might add), my Dad took it upon himself to tell my brother that he should invite his friend to take her place. Before asking me about it. Now, keep in mind that not only is all the arrangements sorted, I have only met this guy one time in my life. I did say to my brother he could invite a few friends to the night time party, but we just want the daytime to be close friends and family.

So when I explained all of this to my parents, apparently they can't understand why we are being so unreasonable, and that there is a space open so we shouldn't have a problem. I again explained that the space is not the problem, the fact that it screws up the table plan, the food, and thatthe guy is practically a stranger to us is the problem. They then came back with that it is one of their guests that has dropped out, therefore they should be allowed to pick who they want to replace her (never mind the fact that me and my fiancée have friends that we would like to invite but are not).

They then started to point out that they're paying for half of the venue and have helped us out financially in other ways that we should be able to "return the favour" by letting my brother's friend attend our wedding. Which is where it got really heated, and I don't wanna go in to much of what was said after that.

Am I in the wrong here? I'm just a little bit in shock that my own parents would be doing this mere weeks before the biggest day of my life, and I honestly don't know if I'm missing something. Is it that unreasonable to want final say over who attends my wedding? Please help me.

You have only met your brother once before?

Let him bring his girlfriend. It would probably make him alot more comfortable.

And your parents are footing half the bill? They definitely get a say.

Still, they should have expressed their wishes to you before telling your brother it was ok.

[Shy Guy]

Jun 27, 2017 19:00:47 GMT -5 The Ichi said:

Jun 26, 2017 13:13:04 GMT -5 Shy Guy said:

weddings and funerals bring the worst out of people\family

Literally two sides of my family still dont talk due to my sisters wedding...11 years ago.

my one aunt won't speak to my mom because my aunt wanted all of my dad's ashes. mom said she would give them to my aunt, as long as she could have a small portion (like a tablespoon) to scatter.

aunt said no, she wants all of it.

mom didn't give her any.

they haven't spoken in almost nine years. aunt even leaves the room when mom enters.