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Post by Pooh Carlson on Jan 14, 2018 23:19:47 GMT -5
The solution is; "Hey can I do this?" then get a yes/no before doing anything. Sure maybe it's a "beta" move but its almost foolproof. K. /thread? "Hey can I do this?" "Nah." "Hey can I do this?" "Still nah." "Hey can I do this?" "I'm gonna take off. Bye." Also a valid solution.
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Post by The Last Hero on Jan 14, 2018 23:23:41 GMT -5
The solution is; "Hey can I do this?" then get a yes/no before doing anything. Sure maybe it's a "beta" move but its almost foolproof. K. /thread? Hey, I ain’t saying Aziz has smooth moves and wasn’t obnoxious as hell. But, was a crime committed or a tellall necessary? I am not sold on that whatsoever. I don't think there is a crime either, but the situation is all kind of slimy.
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Allie Kitsune
Crow T. Robot
Always Feelin' Foxy.
Celestial Princess in Exile.
Posts: 46,055
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Post by Allie Kitsune on Jan 14, 2018 23:24:17 GMT -5
The solution is; "Hey can I do this?" then get a yes/no before doing anything. Sure maybe it's a "beta" move but its almost foolproof. K. /thread? Get it in writing, signed and notarized with a lawyer present.
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FinalGwen
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Particularly fond of muffins.
Posts: 16,410
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Post by FinalGwen on Jan 14, 2018 23:25:00 GMT -5
This is probably going to be my last post in the thread. This has been more painful than the wisdom teeth issues keeping me up to this hour.
Let's address this whole countertop issue, first off, it's not an automatic pass, nothing is. But in this specific instance, from her recollection it sounds like she was fine with the idea of making out. Her only uncomfortableness at that point was when being undressed and how fast things were moving, and shortly after she expressed her concerns and tried to slow him down. It was after that things got worse. So yes, she could have been interested in making out with Aziz Ansari, and it would still not excuse anything that comes after.
But this is basically window dressing, because she'd still be being blamed whether she sat on the counter top in a supposedly provocative way or sat on the floor in the fetal position rocking back and forth. That was obvious the moment we got the question "Is it wrong to say if you aren’t intending to hook up with someone, don’t go home with them after a night of drinking?"
My one hope is that this one simple fact will sink in. Consent is a process. You make sure you have consent before and during each and every sexual encounter. Consenting to one act does not mean consenting to another. You can be married for years, have the kinkiest of sex every night, and if on one occasion one partner says no and the other continues to do something they're not consenting to, that's still rape/sexual assault. Violating someone's consent is not the victim's fault, it's the choice of the abuser, and it's an easy choice to avoid.
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Post by The Last Hero on Jan 14, 2018 23:26:35 GMT -5
The solution is; "Hey can I do this?" then get a yes/no before doing anything. Sure maybe it's a "beta" move but its almost foolproof. K. /thread? Get it in writing, signed and notarized with a lawyer present. If celebrities started doing this now, it wouldn't surprise me.
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Post by Fade is a CodyCryBaby on Jan 14, 2018 23:38:19 GMT -5
Get it in writing, signed and notarized with a lawyer present. If celebrities started doing this now, it wouldn't surprise me. No, it's a thing. I remember a story broke out about two years ago of a girl anonymously speaking out about how Drake made her sign a contract before they engaged in sex.
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MAGGLE
Dennis Stamp
Sigs/Avatars cannot exceed 1MB
Posts: 4,511
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Post by MAGGLE on Jan 14, 2018 23:56:50 GMT -5
If I was a A list celebrity right now, I would consider celibacy.
I don´t believe the story, I read it and it sounds completely harmless if you take the money that she can get into consideration. Even if this was true, I have heard much much much worse. Stop putting people that actually take action in the same class as Weinstein. If a guy would ask permission for every move a girl would consider him not suitable.
Lesson to be learned here: If you are rich don´t trust anybody.
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Post by The 1Watcher Experience on Jan 15, 2018 0:04:45 GMT -5
The solution is; "Hey can I do this?" then get a yes/no before doing anything. Sure maybe it's a "beta" move but its almost foolproof. K. /thread? It’s honestly what I do whenever I’ve been with someone new. It’s become a turn on because it’s all part of the process for me. It’s gotten to the point where girlfriends have gotten so annoyed with me asking that they've given me an all access pass, so to speak, even in their sleep. I’m being totally serious. The reason that started for me was I knew this girl that wanted to get this guy in trouble. He wasn’t a good guy at all. I didn’t like him either. She claimed he raped her, even though they’d never been together and she had the cops call me to be a witness to seeing them together that day. I didn’t see anything and I knew nothing happened. I couldn’t lie about it and frame an innocent person. I lost my friendship with her over it. I was worried she’d lie about me next. Knowing I’d never been with her sexually eased my worries. If there was no evidence of anything, I’d have nothing to worry about. But the whole situation spooked me. Continuous consent became my friend after that. As for Aziz, he’s a celebrity. He has had plenty of girls throw themselves at him. Groupies still exist. He did a few interviews on Howard Stern when he first got famous saying that the only reason he wanted fame was to sleep with girls. In his mind he was taking a girl home to do what he probably usually does. His opportunities for that sort of thing are far more frequent than any of ours, so that’s his nature. Maybe her going along with it and then slowing down made him feel like she was feeling guilty about rushing things and maybe he was trying to convince her it was ok to go through with it. Who knows what was going on in his head other than wanting to get laid? We weren’t there. We can’t say for sure. It sure sounds like she rejected his advances enough where he should have taken the hint sooner. She had every right to say no at any time no matter what had happened between them already and he should’ve stopped altogether. It’s definitely a muddy situation considering alcohol was involved. Another reason I don’t drink.
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Dragonfly
Samurai Cop
...is no Barry Windham.
Posts: 2,481
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Post by Dragonfly on Jan 15, 2018 0:17:17 GMT -5
I feel like you can’t talk about anything on this board. Is it not a valid discussion in this day and age where the line is drawn on issues like this? Does every awkward sexual encounter someone has have to ruin their career now? Note: I'm going to get personal in a way I usually don't on this board. It's safe to say that this is probably not going to happen again. Back when I was a guy, I was the undisputed king of the "awkward sexual encounter." I had a high sex drive, negative amounts of game and the inability to anything remotely considered sexy. I didn't feel I could trust myself, so I never did anything. I'd rather fire one off in the bathroom than make anyone feel uncomfortable. And the one time I actually felt comfortable, my wife didn't. She told me to stop, so I did. (We're two peas in a pod. That's all I'm saying.), I ended up heading to the bathroom. The moral: It's not hard to practice what you preach. If someone wants you to stop, you stop. Awkwardness has nothing to do with anything.
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Post by One-Armed Drummer of Defrebel on Jan 15, 2018 0:18:14 GMT -5
A lot of the responses in this thread are incredibly depressing.
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Heartbreaker
King Koopa
Is actually Bindi Irwin
RIP Punk's media scrum, Page 54, Muffins, Biting People Bad™ (2022 - 2022)
Posts: 11,846
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Post by Heartbreaker on Jan 15, 2018 0:24:47 GMT -5
Threads like this make me consider deleting my FAN account. Because my god, some of the way men on this site talk about women and sexual assault is beyond creepy.
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Kyn
Don Corleone
Posts: 1,623
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Post by Kyn on Jan 15, 2018 0:39:12 GMT -5
Threads like this make me consider deleting my FAN account. Because my god, some of the way men on this site talk about women and sexual assault is beyond creepy. My legs have involuntarily double-knotted themselves by this point.
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Post by Shy Guy on Jan 15, 2018 0:47:11 GMT -5
Threads like this make me consider deleting my FAN account. Because my god, some of the way men on this site talk about women and sexual assault is beyond creepy. I hear ya, unfortunately ☹️
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Post by Fade is a CodyCryBaby on Jan 15, 2018 0:51:15 GMT -5
His full statement through his representative:
"In September of last year, I met a woman at a party. We exchanged numbers. We texted back and forth and eventually went on a date. We went out to dinner, and afterwards we ended up engaging in sexual activity, which by all indications was completely consensual.
The next day, I got a text from her saying that although “it may have seemed okay,” upon further reflection, she felt uncomfortable. It was true that everything did seem okay to me, so when I heard that it was not the case for her, I was surprised and concerned. I took her words to heart and responded privately after taking the time to process what she had said.
I continue to support the movement that is happening in our culture. It is necessary and long overdue."
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Post by romanstylesiii on Jan 15, 2018 1:01:04 GMT -5
This article is written by a tabloid in a tabloid style with no real evidence. This is not about dismissing someone, it about understanding what you are reading. What I'm reading is that people think there's some wide spread epidemic of women falsely screaming 'rape' in pursuit of fame & fortune. That's pretty damn depressing. That sucks and I agree it with your sentiment. Tabloids like this do not actually care about anyone who was assaulted though. This was written in a way to get hits, and a lot of people saw through it.
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Post by romanstylesiii on Jan 15, 2018 1:13:35 GMT -5
The idea that there's just rampant false accusations thrown out to try and get some benefit from it is a little weird. Generally, there's not much 'benefit' resulting from making an accusation, and in fact things are generally way more unpleasant for an accuser to the point that even if they were making stuff up, you wonder why they'd bother. Are there some cases where someone makes up an allegation for some financial gain or other benefit? Sure; there have been cases of that. But the percentage is so minor vs real assaults, unreported assaults, and cases where the accuser gets dragged through the mud for making an allegation that the 'FREE MONEY' thing just comes off as really, really goofy and tone deaf. I don't think anyone person would do this. I say the following as a victim though: this tabloid/blog ran this with the sole intention of getting hits to their blog that had a relatively small amount of readers. This was written as a one-sided smear campaign that felt like it was using a perfectly valid movement to play off of people's emotions so more people read their blog. No attempt was made to get another side of the story. No attempt was made to be unbiased. The editor was RTing celebrities who commented on the post all night long. It was also written in away where it garnered a lot of backlash for the movement. Which as a victim, really sucks.
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chazraps
Wade Wilson
Better have my money when I come-a collect!
Posts: 27,935
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Post by chazraps on Jan 15, 2018 1:28:17 GMT -5
I feel like you can’t talk about anything on this board. Is it not a valid discussion in this day and age where the line is drawn on issues like this? Does every awkward sexual encounter someone has have to ruin their career now? I am not excusing rape whatsoever, but I don’t think that doesn’t mean you can’t discuss the instances when things don’t seem so cut and dry. It's hard to discuss things when the opposing side words things like this: She was 22. And I am not trying to stereotype, but a 22 year old girl living in Brooklyn, with the kind of lifestyle that gets her into parties to mingle with Aziz Ansari and stars like that, knew exactly what this guy thought was going to happen when they got back to his place. I'm sorry, what is your experience with this "kind of lifestyle?" You say you're "not trying to stereotype," but, where are you basing this entire scenario of what should-and-shouldn't-happen from? Please consider how you're phrasing your viewpoint.
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Post by Captain Stud Muffin (BLM) on Jan 15, 2018 1:29:02 GMT -5
Opens thread to read responses............ Good lord men, I thought we were better than this
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chazraps
Wade Wilson
Better have my money when I come-a collect!
Posts: 27,935
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Post by chazraps on Jan 15, 2018 1:31:36 GMT -5
This f***ing thread. Just nuke it and burn the ashes.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2018 1:42:32 GMT -5
That's pretty much it. Any person over the age of 25, that drinks and has had a few dates, has been in similar situations. Is Aziz guilty of being creepy and taking advantage of his fame? Perhaps. But when you start calling everything "assault" or "rape" the words start losing their meaning. It's insulting to real victims. That's pretty shaky ground. Who gets to determine who's a 'real victim'? Women who walk through the park and get dragged into the bushes... Women who get a spiked drink and wake up naked in some random guys bed... Guys in prison who "drop the soap"... Children who are left alone with the wrong adult... These I consider "Real Victims". What happened to the girl in this story, while creepy and weird. I don't consider a "sexual assault" or "rape". When you cast the net so wide with words, they begin to lose meaning and no one cares anymore. It becomes the boy who cried wolf.
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