Reflecto
Hank Scorpio
The Sorceress' Knight
Posts: 6,847
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Post by Reflecto on Apr 28, 2018 7:06:28 GMT -5
I see where you're coming from but I think better advice would be "learn to be happy by yourself because you're not entitled to a relationship and who says you would be happier if you even did have one?". It's like these guys think having a sexual partner will automatically solve all their emotional problems, which it definitely won't if they're so toxic to begin with. And it's never a good idea to be in a relationship with someone you don't even like just because you can't handle being single. Learn to be happy single and you'll be in a better mood when you do find someone who wants to date you. I see where you're coming from as well, but it's still a problem because at the end of the day, humans ARE social creatures. Someone can be happy by themselves, but eventually being by yourself becomes incredibly, incredibly lonely and no matter how happy you are by yourself, you'll become miserable because you're so lonely, and just This is also the problem, as when you are that lonely, the whole problem is that sometimes it does go down to "you end up in a toxic situation because no matter how "happy by yourself" you are, you still need human interaction...and if that's the case it may go down to 'toxic relationships with people are the best you GET to do, and the choice is do you want to be lonely or at least have a friendbase'...and that's the same way that people become militarized for every other hate group there is (where many times, it boils down to "well, they're my friends, and they think this way, so they can't be wrong...and even if my friends ARE wrong, I don't care, they're my friends, they're my family- and you have a problem with them, you have a problem with ME".) Being alone isn't the issue. Being lonely is.
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Post by HMARK Center on Apr 28, 2018 8:17:05 GMT -5
These are the biggest problem- because things are getting worse before it gets better- solely because a large part of the radicalization of most groups seems to be "I'm furious I can't get laid by someone who is as good as I think I deserve and it's the world's fault, so the world won't be 'fair' until I get my ideal person...but I won't do the work to become the type of person that my ideal person would want, if indeed it's even humanly possible for my ideal person to EVER want me.' And yet through all of this, no one just says in the darkness "...uh...JUST PAIR OFF. Just find someone who fits the same sexual preference as you have who's just as frustrated and bitter and lonely and desperate as you are, accept that "maybe you just don't GET TO have the perfect woman or perfect man, pair off and be bitter and frustrated together...but at least not lonely and desperate anymore, and maybe, just maybe, you'll learn the true meaning of happiness in a relationship is not that "the world owes me a beautiful person", but rather "The measure of a person is to find out what makes the person you end up with beautiful." I see where you're coming from but I think better advice would be "learn to be happy by yourself because you're not entitled to a relationship and who says you would be happier if you even did have one?". It's like these guys think having a sexual partner will automatically solve all their emotional problems, which it definitely won't if they're so toxic to begin with. And it's never a good idea to be in a relationship with someone you don't even like just because you can't handle being single. Learn to be happy single and you'll be in a better mood when you do find someone who wants to date you. Reminds me of the "Jimmy Loves Lacey" ROH storyline from the old Golden Age. Jimmy played the dogged "nice guy", he finally got everything he thought he ever wanted...but then had a look in his eye that said "Oh my God...I'm still empty inside." Next time we saw him he was hanging around with Necro Butcher and bathing in Jay Briscoe's blood. But yep, these tools do exactly that: build up sex and having a hot girlfriend as the end all, be all of existence.
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Post by Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!! on Apr 28, 2018 9:16:10 GMT -5
I see where you're coming from but I think better advice would be "learn to be happy by yourself because you're not entitled to a relationship and who says you would be happier if you even did have one?". It's like these guys think having a sexual partner will automatically solve all their emotional problems, which it definitely won't if they're so toxic to begin with. And it's never a good idea to be in a relationship with someone you don't even like just because you can't handle being single. Learn to be happy single and you'll be in a better mood when you do find someone who wants to date you. Reminds me of the "Jimmy Loves Lacey" ROH storyline from the old Golden Age. Jimmy played the dogged "nice guy", he finally got everything he thought he ever wanted...but then had a look in his eye that said "Oh my God...I'm still empty inside." Next time we saw him he was hanging around with Necro Butcher and bathing in Jay Briscoe's blood. But yep, these tools do exactly that: build up sex and having a hot girlfriend as the end all, be all of existence. Damn right. And they often think to themselves "I'm an ugly child but if a woman got to know me if be perfect ". They'll reject the advances of women that don't they don't find attractive but hypocritically get mad when women won't do the same for them.
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Sephiroth
Wade Wilson
Surviving
Posts: 29,082
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Post by Sephiroth on Apr 28, 2018 10:41:23 GMT -5
But then they'd run the risk of ending up in jail. doubtful. prostitution is on the way to being decriminalized here (if it hasn't been already, I haven't been paying much attention) and nobody does jail time for it anymore. Decriminalizing prostitution. Running a TNA show in a nightclub. Canada is up to some wacky shit.,
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Reflecto
Hank Scorpio
The Sorceress' Knight
Posts: 6,847
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Post by Reflecto on Apr 28, 2018 12:45:23 GMT -5
Reminds me of the "Jimmy Loves Lacey" ROH storyline from the old Golden Age. Jimmy played the dogged "nice guy", he finally got everything he thought he ever wanted...but then had a look in his eye that said "Oh my God...I'm still empty inside." Next time we saw him he was hanging around with Necro Butcher and bathing in Jay Briscoe's blood. But yep, these tools do exactly that: build up sex and having a hot girlfriend as the end all, be all of existence. And this ties to the real problem that I had said earlier in the thread before it was known the perpetrator was an incel: This- because right now it's lost in the whole shuffle now and the rise of vehicular assaults will talk to it that more than any single weapon or use of weapons, the real issue is "A lot of people are having problems, and those problems are oftentimes so big that any therapy is just some pretty words that won't do anything about the real problems, any medicine except "drug them up until they're numb- so numb they can look at a big white wall and feel completely and utterly at bliss because of it" won't help them." There's a point in time where it may be that it's as simple as "you may need to fix their problem to fix the cost"...and that in itself has its own problems. The fact the perpetrator was an incel for this actually says how bad this situation is, because "someone considers themselves an incel" is the textbook example of the type of problem that cannot be fixed in order to stop these things from happening. Again, there's a point where therapy is just pretty words that won't do anything about the fact that you can't find a relationship. The only medicines available with a hope of curing an incel would be to outright chemically castrate anyone who is unpopular with their chosen preference, which in itself is just barbaric... ...but at the same time to fix their problems, it's just as evil and wrong to do something like point to someone and say "You. Take one for the team and deflower this creep" either. A whole point of these problems is you can't put one person's problems over another person's solutions- and unfortunately, "I can't get laid" is the only problem in the world which by definition requires a second person to agree to help you fix that problem.
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Post by Kevin Dunn on Apr 28, 2018 17:57:22 GMT -5
doubtful. prostitution is on the way to being decriminalized here (if it hasn't been already, I haven't been paying much attention) and nobody does jail time for it anymore. Decriminalizing prostitution. Running a TNA show in a nightclub. Canada is up to some wacky shit., they be better off just legalized it. Give people an outlet instead of violence.
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FinalGwen
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Particularly fond of muffins.
Posts: 16,459
Member is Online
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Post by FinalGwen on Apr 28, 2018 18:07:59 GMT -5
Let's not inflict these arseholes on innocent sex workers as a 'solution'. They go through enough threats of violence without being exposed to these misogynists.
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Sephiroth
Wade Wilson
Surviving
Posts: 29,082
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Post by Sephiroth on Apr 29, 2018 8:14:38 GMT -5
I hate to admit it, but at one time in my life I was not that far removed from one of those Incel ingrates. Yes, I was that definitive “nice guy” who blamed the world for his lack of a sex and romantic life. But here’s the thing: I grew up. I came to realize it wasn’t women I hated for rejection that never happened-it was me just torturing myself for shortcomings both real and imagined. Getting out of my father’s house and into a place of my own, having something resembling a life, helped a great deal-I felt less like the definitive loser no woman would ever want and more like a grown ass man who actually could have something to offer. And, miracle or miracles-I actually did have sex. And funny thing about that-my problems didn’t just vanish. The sun still rose, the grass was still green, nothing much changed at all, to the point that I even came to regard it as a highly overrated experience for how much I had once seen it as the holy of holies that would alter my life forever. Don’t get me wrong, I’d still like to get more action than I do-but I don’t blame women for it not happening anymore, and I also don’t torture myself into this perpetual state of bitterness over it either. Like I said, I grew up.
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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Apr 29, 2018 12:00:38 GMT -5
Decriminalizing prostitution. Running a TNA show in a nightclub. Canada is up to some wacky shit., they be better off just legalized it. Give people an outlet instead of violence. Luckily weed will be legal here in a couple months so hopefully some of these idiots will just light a joint and think about their life choices.
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Post by Bang Bang Bart on Apr 29, 2018 12:20:57 GMT -5
Tonight, there's a vigil for those that were hurt or killed in the tragedy. It starts at 7pm.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2018 15:55:38 GMT -5
they be better off just legalized it. Give people an outlet instead of violence. Luckily weed will be legal here in a couple months so hopefully some of these idiots will just light a joint and think about their life choices. I dunno, I feel weed would captivate their bubble a little more.
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Post by Wolf Hawkfield no1 NZ poster on May 2, 2018 2:37:05 GMT -5
Let's not inflict these arseholes on innocent sex workers as a 'solution'. They go through enough threats of violence without being exposed to these misogynists. Oh those sex workers won't have anything to worry about as Incels hate any female who isn't a virgin between the age of 16 to 18.
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