John Cena marries girlfriend at private ceremony!!!

[Susan "Poison" Candy]

We can thank The Fiend for this.

He had to Hurt him so he could Heal him

[Feargus McReddit]

Session Moth Martina, someone pining for Cena for over a year now...not in the best state after the news.

[Ozman]

Oct 14, 2020 21:12:25 GMT -5 WIENERS=$$$ said:

Cena looks pale in that photo.


He looks so pale, he's practically transparent.

He’s so transparent that YOU CAN’T SEE HIM!!!

[Deleted]

Congrats, sir and ma'am.


As expected, half the social media posts are people yelling "WHY WASN'T IT BRIE!!!!" and the other half are joking "woman marries man who didn't show up to wedding / her family demands to know why they couldn't see him in the photos."


Few actual congratulations, though.

[Hobby Drifter]

John Cena has a thing for lovely women with family names that appear difficult to pronounce for many English speakers

[A damn road sign]

Oct 15, 2020 7:51:13 GMT -5 @knapp said:

Congrats, sir and ma'am.


As expected, half the social media posts are people yelling "WHY WASN'T IT BRIE!!!!" and the other half are joking "woman marries man who didn't show up to wedding / her family demands to know why they couldn't see him in the photos."


Few actual congratulations, though.

That would be a Vince Russoesque swerve if Cena had married Brie.

[camphor #BLM]

...dammit,

Oct 14, 2020 23:28:26 GMT -5 @dax said:

Do you think after she recited her vows he told her, "Fine speech"?

well at least I was the 1st to photoshop it, anyway.

[WIENERS=$$$]

Oct 15, 2020 5:45:49 GMT -5 Ozman said:

Oct 14, 2020 21:12:25 GMT -5 WIENERS=$$$ said:

Cena looks pale in that photo.


He looks so pale, he's practically transparent.

He’s so transparent that YOU CAN’T SEE HIM!!!

Seriously, Cena is really leaning hard into looking like Vince. Hoping to get that McMahon biopic role?

[hassanchop]

What is Chris Hansen doing with John Cena's wife?

[ThereIsNoAbsurdistOnlyZuul]

Oct 15, 2020 9:58:49 GMT -5 hassanchop said:

What is Chris Hansen doing with John Cena's wife?

Cheating on his wife with her. Though at least this wont lead him to being fired from a Network.

[dbrussel]

Already? Damn. Nikki needed 5 years to get engaged.

[Dr. T is an alien]

Oct 14, 2020 21:48:21 GMT -5 the2ndevil said:

Oct 14, 2020 21:26:17 GMT -5 Spiderf 4 said:

"He only married her because he was tired of trying to spell/pronounce her maiden name correctly."

I hate how I both:

1)Laughed as hard as I did

2)Read it in his voice.

Now I has a sads. I know it’s been a while now, but some losses always sting.

[Brandon Walsh is Insane.]

Oct 14, 2020 23:27:44 GMT -5 Stu said:

Oct 14, 2020 21:37:22 GMT -5 Brandon Walsh is Insane. said:

Now it looks like she's standing in front of someone's hair.

It's a pic from the Doolittle premier; she's in front of an ape lol

[fw91]

Do you think after the wedding Cena had to spend the mandatory time alone in the cigar room before consummation?

[DrBackflipsHoffman]

oh my god has he had hair plugs? i'm on the fence because it's a small image but from a distance he's got that perfectly symmetrical hairline you can't hide

[edgestar]

Oct 14, 2020 23:28:26 GMT -5 @dax said:

Do you think after she recited her vows he told her, "Fine speech"?

"Fine vows"

[Natural Born Farmer]

Only in ring weddings are trve.

[Sam Punk]

Happy for them!

[Push R Truth]

Time for Cena to retire the 5 Knuckle Shuffle... well, at least until the honeymoon phase ends.

[Zombie Mod]

its going to turn out to be an elaborate plot by his now wife, "oh yeah, he's just stood over there." "yeah, he's like the predator when it's cloaked damn near invisible." "he said I do" *she kisses fresh air* and cena was off shooting a movie/show or something.

_{what? at least I didnt expect it to be ruined with a run in by.....erm... I dunno ric flair}