|
Post by SneakMan on Sept 9, 2022 10:12:51 GMT -5
The hell if I know anything about the human mind, but please don't mistake kindness and compassion as reasons to find romantic interests. It could be that receiving kindness gives you feelings of romance because you don't regularly experience direct kindness (I'm assuming).Well what do you know, a succinct summary of my entire goddamn existence. Anyway, echoing everyone else saying don't act on your feelings. There's absolutely zero chance it ends well.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2022 15:06:41 GMT -5
Don't act on it, request a new social worker. Explain to whoever is her line manager that you've caught feelings and you're aware that's not going to lead to productive outcomes for you.
It's not real. She's just someone whose caring and nice and you acting on it, or having these feelings whilst she's trying to do her job, is massively unfair to her. She's a professional and you'll put her in an awful situation.
I'm sorry. Truly. Your pain is real and valid but you've got to do the right, but hard, thing
|
|
XIII
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Posts: 18,949
|
Post by XIII on Sept 9, 2022 15:15:37 GMT -5
She is being paid to help you. If you act on this you put her into an impossible situation because ethically she will have to reject you, cease to be your counselor, and likely have to report this and possibly be the subject of a review.
She’s just doing her job. Move it on along.
|
|
|
Post by GodzillaIsMyMonster on Sept 9, 2022 17:08:35 GMT -5
I've been married twice. The first, I was 20. Married my manager.
Yea... it was a struggle.
I was 17 when I got the job, and she was 22. I had a crush big time, because she was super model cute.
At 18 I asked her out. She agreed, but said it was only a friends hanging out thing.
I pursued her for the next 2 years. 3 months after I turned 20, she and I were dating. Married 2 weeks later when she was pregnant
Sounds like a fairy tale, right?
It wasn't. I didn't realize until almost to late, but our entire relationship, she tried to maintain the power balance of manager/,employee.
And she faked the pregnancy right as I was wising up.
One of my best friends, who went on to become my 2nd wife, and mother of my child, helped me realize the bs.
So I was divorced, and completely broke at 21.
Long story to basically say...
Don't f***ing do it.
|
|
|
Post by edgestar on Sept 9, 2022 17:18:31 GMT -5
She knows your situation. She's a support, but may not be romantically interested, and not want to hurt you. Request a new social worker. Aside from that, like another person said, she may be in a relationship.
|
|
Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,514
|
Post by Dr. T is an alien on Sept 9, 2022 17:41:03 GMT -5
Screw it, let it out, worst that can be is thats she's with someone or not into you. Don't ask, Don't get For the love all that is holy, DO NOT DO THIS. Worse case scenario is that it ends her career.
|
|
|
Post by darbus alan on Sept 9, 2022 17:52:14 GMT -5
She is like Dynasty Warriors' Lu Bu. Do not pursue. Not only is it a serious breach of professional and ethical conduct, it can get her fired if she doesn't reject you outright (not to mention being a black mark on her employment history), or you kicked out of the center, if not both. And don't mistake kindness for romantic interest.
If you can't keep things professional, ask to be transferred to another social worker. You wouldn't be the first person to get a crush on their therapist or social worker. There's protocols in place to deal with that situation.
|
|
|
Post by King Boo on Sept 9, 2022 17:58:24 GMT -5
Screw it, let it out, worst that can be is thats she's with someone or not into you. Don't ask, Don't get Holy f*** this is awful advice. For the love of all that is holy, don't listen to this.
|
|
|
Post by xCompackx on Sept 9, 2022 18:07:27 GMT -5
If you're itching to express romantic interest, maybe try a personal journal. You can get your feelings out in a safe, isolated manner.
But yeah, don't pursue this. Not gonna end up well for either party.
|
|
|
Post by Zombie Mod on Sept 9, 2022 18:09:47 GMT -5
just ask her out for something like a coffee first though bad advice like this is why I usually lock threads involving medical issues. as others have said, it puts her job at risk, your chance of having a social worker at risk.
|
|
Legion
Fry's dog Seymour
Amy Pond's #1 fan
Hail Hydra!
Posts: 23,404
|
Post by Legion on Sept 9, 2022 18:12:33 GMT -5
As a professional, she isnt going to cross that line.
And, you dont really want her to.
What you are attracted to is what she and your therapist are giving you, which is the support for whatever you need.
You need to request a new worker, and continue getting that help.
As a former teacher and current social care worker, this happens all the time, it's always shit, but the key thing is you keep getting the help you need.
|
|
Kalmia
King Koopa
Happy to be here
Posts: 12,521
|
Post by Kalmia on Sept 9, 2022 18:27:15 GMT -5
I've never been a social worker but I have a background in psychology and during that, one of the things we were taught and warned about was the potential for clients to develop feelings. Clients are in an unusual situation and asked to rely on someone when they're vulnerable and probably don't have many others to rely on. The feelings developed are usually either a result of, or influenced by this. No halfway decent social worker would consider a relationship with a client and there may even be professional consequences if they start one.
Do not tell her. If it's too difficult to be around her, ask for a new social worker. Nothing good will come of telling her.
|
|
|
Post by Limity (BLM) on Sept 9, 2022 18:54:47 GMT -5
OP, at the very least don't feel like shit for talking about this on the forum. You expressed yourself and were met with understanding, insight, and the absolute best advice you could get for your situation.
Like others have said, leave it be. Expressing your feelings puts both of you in a no win situation.
|
|
|
Post by dirtyoldman on Sept 10, 2022 7:30:58 GMT -5
Screw it, let it out, worst that can be is thats she's with someone or not into you. Don't ask, Don't get Yeah, great advice, mate. Same if you fancy your teacher?
|
|