Found out today that my dad died this week

[SmashTV]

Very sorry for your loss. I lost my Mum eight years ago, and as awful as it was she had early onset Alzheimer’s and was physically weak. The comfort I took was that she was no longer suffering, which helped a lot.

Remember the good times, remember them how they were and as a fellow poster said, it will get better with time. Hang in there, my friend.

[thechase]

I'm sorry for your loss, I can't speak from experience just yet, I've rarely lost any family member even at my age, but I always read about the impact a loss has on someone and it's a tough ordeal, just remember, if you have as much love drawn towards you from either FAN or the people around you, then you as a person were raised by a good, decent man who taught you what to value best in life.

[Ultimo Gallos]

Remember the good times with him sir.

Sorry to hear you lost a loved one.

[Rise]

I lost both my parents within 8 months of each other (funnily enough, it's dad's anniversary today). The best advice I can give is give yourself time to grieve and don't put timescales on how long it will take to process as everyone is different.

If you have a partner or close friends, open up to them on how you are feeling and don't suppress anything. If you want to chat, ping me a DM.

["Evil Brood" Jackson Vanik]

I lost my father at a young age. My only words of advice is that I heard a lot that it will get better over time. At least for me, that didn't happen. It never got better. It just changed. The ways in which I missed and mourned him evolved over time as I got older and experienced different life events. Allow yourself to experience that as it changes every year.

[edgestar]

I'm sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself, and any time to grieve.

[Finish Uncle Muffin’s Story]

I made the mistake of kind of bottling things up and just finding unhealthy outlets to not worry about what happened when my dad died. I'd encourage you to feel the feelings. Journal, talk to people, don't bottle it up. Grief is natural, and it's not weak to express it.

[chazraps]

Thanks everyone for all the kind words and thoughts with this. It's been a very hard very long few days. While I haven't been able to really tackle the mountain of texts and DMs, I've tried answering every call I've received since Saturday, often forcing myself to talk to people but at the end of each conversation it's always helped.

I do want to say, if anything constructive can come from this, if you have parents and other family still alive or you yourself haven't done so - ask to see everyone's certified will or notarized will. Long story short, my Dad had told the whole family for decades what the plan was for his funeral, his everything after he died etc. (to the point when even my Mom who divorced him back in 93 over the weekend could say back his exact specific funeral requests) and it turns out my Dad didn't even have his obituary ready.

I don't know if it's a generational thing with the post-WWII who lived through Vietnam not wanting to approach the subject of death or just the feeling that they'll "always get around to it" even if they have it planned out and just have to tell someone. Even if you have no reason not to trust them if they say they have it all together - ask. to. see. it.

[chazraps]

Here's my Dad's obituary. It's running in today's (Sunday) paper - m.startribune.com/obituaries/detail/0000446198/?fullname=charles-paul-kangus&fbclid=IwAR1YHi7kVsbe0hWEoYGaRpu0fL0qNyh-9zsRTgFxhpy-8yRLHdcZzUBgd6Y

I wrote it the day after I found out he died. Knowing it's going to print, it's the weird dual feeling of both the sadness of the true finality of his death and the closure of letting everyone who knew him see this one last ending.

While I've only known about his death about 16 days, I'd found a level of comfort in having the connection of prepping the obit to run - as if it's the last thing he and I would ever do together. (It was a situation where we'd all thought his obituary had been written and approved by him for years but he never had one prepared) Now that it's running, there's this emptiness, and I feel this new different wave of grief about it.

[Fade is a CodyCryBaby]

Jan 15, 2023 3:30:15 GMT -5 chazraps said:

Here's my Dad's obituary. It's running in today's (Sunday) paper - m.startribune.com/obituaries/detail/0000446198/?fullname=charles-paul-kangus&fbclid=IwAR1YHi7kVsbe0hWEoYGaRpu0fL0qNyh-9zsRTgFxhpy-8yRLHdcZzUBgd6Y

I wrote it the day after I found out he died. Knowing it's going to print, it's the weird dual feeling of both the sadness of the true finality of his death and the closure of letting everyone who knew him see this one last ending.

While I've only known about his death about 16 days, I'd found a level of comfort in having the connection of prepping the obit to run - as if it's the last thing he and I would ever do together. (It was a situation where we'd all thought his obituary had been written and approved by him for years but he never had one prepared) Now that it's running, there's this emptiness, and I feel this new different wave of grief about it.

Keep your head up

[The Thread Barbi]

Just seen this thread. So sorry for your loss.