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Post by Rorschach on Jan 3, 2007 17:03:15 GMT -5
Greetings, fellow Chaticans. I'm actually Chatrish, I'll have you know.... ;D
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Post by mcclanahan on Jan 3, 2007 17:07:00 GMT -5
ok, I'm back, didn't play any games, just took a nap
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Post by Rorschach on Jan 3, 2007 17:07:40 GMT -5
ok, I'm back, didn't play any games, just took a nap And now, I go to nap. Laters, y'all.
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Post by mcclanahan on Jan 3, 2007 17:08:09 GMT -5
Greetings, fellow Chaticans. I'm actually Chatrish, I'll have you know.... ;D really...I'm Chatrish too baby, where in Chaterland are you from
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Post by TripleMerc on Jan 3, 2007 17:09:01 GMT -5
I'm actually Chatrish, I'll have you know.... ;D really...I'm Chatrish too baby, where in Chaterland are you crom I'm not Chatican either. I'm Chatadian.
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Post by mcclanahan on Jan 3, 2007 17:12:27 GMT -5
really...I'm Chatrish too baby, where in Chaterland are you crom I'm not Chatican either. I'm Chatadian. you konw, some of the greatest chatters were from Chatnada
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Post by TripleMerc on Jan 3, 2007 17:14:52 GMT -5
I'm not Chatican either. I'm Chatadian. you konw, some of the greatest chatters were from Chatnada I know, eh? Our chaple syrup lets us type, and keep our energy.
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Post by mcclanahan on Jan 3, 2007 17:17:44 GMT -5
you konw, some of the greatest chatters were from Chatnada I know, eh? Our chaple syrup lets us type, and keep our energy. here in Chaterland it's the chatsky that does it
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Post by mcclanahan on Jan 3, 2007 17:19:09 GMT -5
ok, this time I'm really gonna play some video games
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Post by TripleMerc on Jan 3, 2007 17:20:22 GMT -5
I know, eh? Our chaple syrup lets us type, and keep our energy. here in Chaterland it's the chatsky that does it Sweet. So, would you mind critiquing some of my work? I'm an amateur writer, and I just made this half-story about a video game posessing the life of a person. It's fictional of course, and half done, but could you read it, and tell me what you think?
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Post by TripleMerc on Jan 3, 2007 17:24:13 GMT -5
And, like a jackass, I forgot the story.
My Innocent Murder
Prologue:
I was but a 14 year old kid at the time. A gamer, a loner, and a smartass. Things, which should probably be best when not intertwined. I constantly belittled people on the internet. I guess, looking back, it was probably to do with overcompensation for never being able to connect with women. They were always too shallow, too materialized.
My parents divorced when I was about 8. I can't so much as remember the last Christmas we had as a family.
As I try to take you through my story, keep in mind that... I really wasn't "right" in the head at this time. Many things were constantly screwing my head up, many issues, psychologically and physically.
In addition to all of this, for some reason, I had two real, lives, persay. My living world, and the dream. I've split them, but sometimes the lines blurred, and it was impossible to tell the difference.
Chapter 1:
It all started, 3, maybe 4 years ago, in a dirty, dusty arcade. I had a dollar in quarters, an hour to kill, and best of all, a handful of candy in my pocket.
I glanced over all the video games. I knew them all. Most of them I had played myself. I walked through the aisles, neatly set up by convenient machine placement.
I walked, not looking at anything, but contemplating what I would play. Mortal Kombat? Nah, there was some kid at that machine. Galaga? I would, but unfortunately that machine was out of service. Dance Dance Revolution? f*** no.
As I was shortly running out of games to play, I saw a new game. Not new as in the "Just made" sense, but new as in the "Hey, that wasn't here before!" sense. It was a definite classic. It was Virtua Cop. I had played many of these "gun" games before. But, this one.. it would change my life.
I grasped the light gun in my palm and slid my other hand into my pocket to fish out a quarter. As I placed it in, the machine came to life. Sounds surrounded me, as it activated with the pure placement of a little piece of metal. I raised the gun up a small bit, so I could aim. The game started. I, as always, picked the hardest detail. Swarming with baddies, all which I had control over, in an indirect sense.
The first few enemies came up, and I started to play. I shot, shot, and shot some more, and I never missed a guy. Then, a helpless civilian stepped into my way. It, unfortunately, got shot. I exclaimed a loud "SHIT!" as my health was penalized.
Well, eventually, I died. Sooner, WAY sooner that I would usually in a game of that type. While I still had 75 cents in my pocket, I decided to keep it for later. My head hung low and my mood deteriorated, I walked into what, is apparently called sunlight. I've never seen it before.
I walked into my house, my father greeting me with a warm smile and a glass of iced tea, as he sometimes does when he wants to talk with me. This time, he was just being nice. Who would have guessed? I went into my room, and blasted some Buckcherry on my stereo, but, eventually fell asleep.
Chapter 2: My dream was an odd experience. I kept on replaying that game of Virtua Cop in my head. Analyzing what I did wrong. I noticed that the 1 civilian I killed had... almost stood out in my mind, as a seperate entity. I thought I was going a bit insane, but hell, it was a dream.
I awoke in a cold sweat, about an hour later. My stereo was still playing, but oddly, whisper quiet. Someone must have turned it down. Oh well. I got up from my bed, and looked in my bedroom mirror. I looked disorganized, hell, to put it simply, I looked like a mess. I gave my hair a quick comb, but there was little else I could do.
I yelled to my father: "Hey, I'm going back outside." He didn't reply. I thought it was odd, but nothing was going to stop me from going back to the arcade. I still had my 75 cents in my pocket. And for one of them, it would get me a win in Virtua Cop.
I stepped, once more into the arcade, and went right for that machine. I inserted my quarter, picked up my gun, and started playing once more. I entered the game, and it was totally empty. Except for one thing. The corpse of one familiar civilian I had shot an hour ago.
I dropped my gun. It hit my foot. And with that, it turned pitch black. I could feel my upper body moving, like it would if it was sitting up. There was one faint source of light. An alarm clock. I was back in bed. It was another hour later than I had seen the last time, and my father awoke me, yelling and screaming at me. "The house is on fire! Get out!"
I managed to get out. But, he didn't. I caught a glimpse of his corpse, and it looked almost exactly like that person.. that innocent soul that had succumbed to a force it could never hope to withstand.
I went to my mother's place, after calling 9-1-1 from a neighbor's place. She had the news on the TV. I glanced at it, and it looked exactly like the level from "Virtua Cop". It was, of course, more realistic looking, but exact nonetheless.
The anchorwoman was documenting a massacre. Over 50 dead. Including 1 civilian, and a cop. I had realized that that was exactly what I had done earlier in the day. I was creeped out, but shunned it off to coincidence.
(Much longer transition, I haven't decided yet).
I had actually killed that person. I knew in my heart. In my mind. That one person. The rest were nothing. But this one person. He probably had a family. And a dog. And I... I was solely responsible for his death. It was just a videogame... but I somehow.. I killed.
(More content, again, undecided).
The nights were getting longer. I didn't know myself anymore. I had only one choice. I took my remaining 25 cents... I placed it in an exposed electric outlet. I was dead, although that made no difference. There was still.
The Game.
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Post by The Scuba Guy on Jan 3, 2007 17:26:19 GMT -5
^^What was that about?
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Post by TripleMerc on Jan 3, 2007 17:27:31 GMT -5
It's a fictional story that I wrote last night, that I submitted here so it would get a little critique.
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Post by The Scuba Guy on Jan 3, 2007 17:30:21 GMT -5
Oh, well it was awesome
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Post by TripleMerc on Jan 3, 2007 17:31:50 GMT -5
Kick ass.
Now, I must go and finish it.
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Jan 3, 2007 18:12:08 GMT -5
I'm here, I'm Queer, I don't want anymore Bears!
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iwchater
Samurai Cop
Greatest Album ever
Posts: 2,103
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Post by iwchater on Jan 3, 2007 18:14:49 GMT -5
Guess who???
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Post by mcclanahan on Jan 3, 2007 18:21:30 GMT -5
ok, back again, so whats going on
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iwchater
Samurai Cop
Greatest Album ever
Posts: 2,103
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Post by iwchater on Jan 3, 2007 18:22:52 GMT -5
ok, back again, so whats going on There's very few crappers here...
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Jan 3, 2007 18:24:08 GMT -5
ok, back again, so whats going on not much
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