|
Post by Original Gansta - Charisma on Jun 4, 2007 15:40:01 GMT -5
Sounds like there's already somebody else but she doesn't want to destroy you so she's trying to let you down easy. It wouldn't surprise me honestly. She has been spending a lot of time with a "friend" from her dorm. I try to be trusting though, looks like I should have put the old foot down. You can't control emotions, especially female attraction, she was going to do this probably no matter what you did. The thing is to realize when you're in the last moments and take advantage of this moment. You have to realize that this has nothing to do with you and not to take it personally. Relationships especially at your age (I'm assuming you're in the 18-20 range) are acts more of faith than emotional attachment and usually end in flames. Just take what you learned from this, accept the emotional pain and use it to make you stronger, appreciate the experience, and get revenge on the pup. Bro... one more piece of advice... before you confront her round up anything of yours that she might have as non-obviously as you can and try to bed her one last time and do all the crazy shit you were afraid of doing during the relationship. Then confront her and if she doesn't come clean tell her she's a lying bitch and she needs to go and then she's welcome back if she can be honest with you and if she does come clean tell her she's a confused little girl and that you were just using her and after the next guy finished up with her and she actually wants a decent lay she can come knock on your door as long as she brings your favorite kind of alcohol. Both of those ways of speaking can be used to your advantage in the future and also will protect you in the showdown with her. How long were you two together?
|
|
The QC Loser
Hank Scorpio
Come on follow my Twitter I'm cool!
Posts: 6,241
|
Post by The QC Loser on Jun 4, 2007 15:41:12 GMT -5
Sorry to say it again but I have to agree. There is someone else and most likely she isn't sure that said other person is what she wants yet so she is going to try that person out for a little bit. If she likes then she will finish the break up with you. If not then most likely she will "try to work it out"
|
|
|
Post by Ultimo Chocula on Jun 4, 2007 15:41:58 GMT -5
It wouldn't surprise me honestly. She has been spending a lot of time with a "friend" from her dorm. I try to be trusting though, looks like I should have put the old foot down. You can't control emotions, especially female attraction, she was going to do this probably no matter what you did. The thing is to realize when you're in the last moments and take advantage of this moment. You have to realize that this has nothing to do with you and not to take it personally. Relationships especially at your age (I'm assuming you're in the 18-20 range) are acts more of faith than emotional attachment and usually end in flames. Just take what you learned from this, accept the emotional pain and use it to make you stronger, appreciate the experience, and get revenge on the pup. I was with you until the last five words. Revenge makes you look like a turd, therefore, nobody else will have you once word gets out. The best revenge is to have a better life than hers. Works every time.
|
|
|
Post by Munkie91087 on Jun 4, 2007 15:44:40 GMT -5
It wouldn't surprise me honestly. She has been spending a lot of time with a "friend" from her dorm. I try to be trusting though, looks like I should have put the old foot down. You can't control emotions, especially female attraction, she was going to do this probably no matter what you did. The thing is to realize when you're in the last moments and take advantage of this moment. You have to realize that this has nothing to do with you and not to take it personally. Relationships especially at your age (I'm assuming you're in the 18-20 range) are acts more of faith than emotional attachment and usually end in flames. Just take what you learned from this, accept the emotional pain and use it to make you stronger, appreciate the experience, and get revenge on the pup. Yeah, I pretty much have to accept that ish happens especially in young relationships (I'm 19 about to be 20) and she is in college with a bunch of new and different guys. I guess I'll have fond memories of the 4 years, but like you said doesn't make it any easier. How do I go about confronting her, do I accuse her of cheating, or do I just ask her what the hell is up in general?
|
|
|
Post by Original Gansta - Charisma on Jun 4, 2007 15:45:52 GMT -5
You can't control emotions, especially female attraction, she was going to do this probably no matter what you did. The thing is to realize when you're in the last moments and take advantage of this moment. You have to realize that this has nothing to do with you and not to take it personally. Relationships especially at your age (I'm assuming you're in the 18-20 range) are acts more of faith than emotional attachment and usually end in flames. Just take what you learned from this, accept the emotional pain and use it to make you stronger, appreciate the experience, and get revenge on the pup. I was with you until the last five words. Revenge makes you look like a turd, therefore, nobody else will have you once word gets out. The best revenge is to have a better life than hers. Works every time. I didn't mean revenge as in putting a axe through her door or something like that... just little things that will get to her. However a girl who pulls this shit isn't worth the thought or effort afterwards, I'm talking about dropping psychological bombs on her that will make her think and really f*** with her head. Also, to the original poster. Break-ups take three weeks to come back from as long as you don't drink yourself into a stupidity or act emo about it. A healthy male always takes about three weeks to come back from a relationship where the word "love" was dropped.
|
|
|
Post by Original Gansta - Charisma on Jun 4, 2007 15:46:44 GMT -5
How do I go about confronting her, do I accuse her of cheating, or do I just ask her what the hell is up in general? Which path do you want to take?
|
|
|
Post by eeriebagel on Jun 4, 2007 15:49:32 GMT -5
maybe try doing something special, just the two of you. remind her of what made her fall in love with you in the first place
|
|
|
Post by Munkie91087 on Jun 4, 2007 15:49:33 GMT -5
How do I go about confronting her, do I accuse her of cheating, or do I just ask her what the hell is up in general? Which path do you want to take? This is one of those rock and a hard place situations. Accusing her of cheating makes me seem like an ass, asking her what is up is probably the safer route, but seems way to vague and I'll probably get a nothing response. I'll probably just have to confront her and really have one of those deep ass conversations that usuallys ends with someone having a broken heart.
|
|
|
Post by Ultimo Chocula on Jun 4, 2007 15:53:36 GMT -5
I was with you until the last five words. Revenge makes you look like a turd, therefore, nobody else will have you once word gets out. The best revenge is to have a better life than hers. Works every time. I didn't mean revenge as in putting a axe through her door or something like that... just little things that will get to her. However a girl who pulls this crap isn't worth the thought or effort afterwards, I'm talking about dropping psychological bombs on her that will make her think and really smurf with her head. Of course not an ax through the head, but I thought you might be referring to revenge f***ing or something like that.
|
|
|
Post by Original Gansta - Charisma on Jun 4, 2007 15:56:35 GMT -5
Which path do you want to take? This is one of those rock and a hard place situations. Accusing her of cheating makes me seem like an ass, asking her what is up is probably the safer route, but seems way to vague and I'll probably get a nothing response. I'll probably just have to confront her and really have one of those deep ass conversations that usuallys ends with someone having a broken heart. You can always play the reverse card and tell her that you've found someone else and that frankly you're sick of her and the lack of effort she's put into the relationship, you can also say that you think she's gaining weight. If you play it right it can totally have the reverse psychology effect... but honestly if she's playing this card with you she's untrustworthy and not really worth the effort. You can take the honesty path, the revenge path, or the douche path. At least that's how I see it. Also love doesn't exist before 25, so don't take it personally or seriously.
|
|
|
Post by Original Gansta - Charisma on Jun 4, 2007 15:57:19 GMT -5
I didn't mean revenge as in putting a axe through her door or something like that... just little things that will get to her. However a girl who pulls this crap isn't worth the thought or effort afterwards, I'm talking about dropping psychological bombs on her that will make her think and really smurf with her head. Of course not an ax through the head, but I thought you might be referring to revenge smurfing or something like that. Nah bro that never works, revenge lays are just dumb on so many levels and usually just makes you look bad.
|
|
|
Post by Ultimo Chocula on Jun 4, 2007 15:57:47 GMT -5
Of course not an ax through the head, but I thought you might be referring to revenge smurfing or something like that. Nah bro that never works, revenge lays are just dumb on so many levels and usually just makes you look bad. Yep. Bad news.
|
|
|
Post by HMARK Center on Jun 4, 2007 15:59:55 GMT -5
Be mature about it.
People change, including you; neither you nor she are the same people you were four years ago. Now, you've both probably changed in some good ways, but also in some negative ways, and both have a net effect on your relationship/compatibility. Hell, you won't be the same person four years from now, either.
She's likely meeting new people, and finding that there are different types of men out there, some of whom likely appeal to her on various different levels. Ergo, she's probably confused, and isn't sure about what she wants, and needs time to figure it out.
So don't be surprised if, in the near future, you hear she went out and did something with some other guy; she probably wouldn't mean it as an insult to you or anything, but she's at an age where you need to learn what it really is you seek in a potential romantic interest.
Just be understanding of this...but also put your foot down and tell her you want her to be completely honest with you. If the reason she's having doubts about you is because of another guy, or even just things she's learned as she's gotten through college, then tell her to just be honest about it.
In return, you just have to be honest about yourself. And, honestly, if you're angry/frustrated, you CAN make that clear to her, but, again, just in a mature manner.
|
|
Johnny Danger (Godz)
Wade Wilson
loves him some cavity searches
Lord Xeen's going to kill you.
Posts: 27,736
|
Post by Johnny Danger (Godz) on Jun 4, 2007 16:16:34 GMT -5
I've said this several times to my g/f as a "nice" way of trying to break up with her....
Its not working
|
|
Swarm
Don Corleone
SWARM = RATINGS
Posts: 1,347
|
Post by Swarm on Jun 4, 2007 16:35:08 GMT -5
Has your girlfriend/boyfriend ever said to you, that they don't know how they feel about you anymore? I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds to me that she doesn't love me anymore. I'm asking my fellow crappers for advice and what should I do? You're 19. I wouldn't worry about it. You'll be ok man. Your best years are ahead of you. Play it cool. As for advice: Next time a girl says that to you say this... Really? That's awesome because I was thinking the same thing about you I just wasn't sure how to bring it up...it was good while it lasted though...so I gotta go...see ya... then turn around and walk away or hang up the phone. Putty in your hands dawg.
|
|
|
Post by Munkie91087 on Jun 4, 2007 16:41:26 GMT -5
Has your girlfriend/boyfriend ever said to you, that they don't know how they feel about you anymore? I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds to me that she doesn't love me anymore. I'm asking my fellow crappers for advice and what should I do? You're 19. I wouldn't worry about it. You'll be ok man. Your best years are ahead of you. Play it cool. As for advice: Next time a girl says that to you say this... Really? That's awesome because I was thinking the same thing about you I just wasn't sure how to bring it up...it was good while it lasted though...so I gotta go...see ya... then turn around and walk away or hang up the phone. Putty in your hands dawg. I know I'm 19 and I have very few delusions that the girl and I are going to be together forever, but at the same time 4 years is a long time no matter how old you are, and it's going to hurt a bit. I have no plans on becoming an "emo kid" as they say, but I will miss her because she was the first girl I ever said I love you to. She will more than likely become the learning experience so I know how to deal with serious long term relationships in the future, but for right now, she is the girl I love, and no matter how old you are, when that type of relationship ends, it hurtsl.
|
|
|
Post by Original Gansta - Charisma on Jun 4, 2007 16:48:16 GMT -5
You're 19. I wouldn't worry about it. You'll be ok man. Your best years are ahead of you. Play it cool. As for advice: Next time a girl says that to you say this... Really? That's awesome because I was thinking the same thing about you I just wasn't sure how to bring it up...it was good while it lasted though...so I gotta go...see ya... then turn around and walk away or hang up the phone. Putty in your hands dawg. I know I'm 19 and I have very few delusions that the girl and I are going to be together forever, but at the same time 4 years is a long time no matter how old you are, and it's going to hurt a bit. I have no plans on becoming an "emo kid" as they say, but I will miss her because she was the first girl I ever said I love you to. She will more than likely become the learning experience so I know how to deal with serious long term relationships in the future, but for right now, she is the girl I love, and no matter how old you are, when that type of relationship ends, it hurtsl. This is a gift man, this is going to do a lot of good things for you as a person. I know that sounds crazy but when you retrospect on this, it'll be a good thing.
|
|
|
Post by Brother Photino on Jun 4, 2007 20:47:14 GMT -5
I've said this several times to my g/f as a "nice" way of trying to break up with her.... Its not working Wow...really? I expected more from the one and only GODZ. ;D Just tell her you don't want to be in a relationship anymore. It's not easy, but you'll be better off in the long run.
|
|
|
Post by Macho Dude Handy Damage on Jun 4, 2007 21:19:55 GMT -5
sorry dude, but i dont see a happy ending here. my ex said the same thing to me about 8 months ago, she broke up with me about a week later (we also had a long-distance relationship at the time) i also suspected that she cheated on me, but never got it confirmed.
dont accuse her of cheating, but ask her what the hell she meant by it. there are two scenarios as i can see here. 1) she found a new guy she's interested in, but haven't done anything serious with him yet or 2) simply feel that the relationship is in a rut and just doesn't feel the way about you she used to
|
|
Johnny
King Koopa
Now with 100% more custom title.
Vern enjoys Johnny's 3 Humanoid Awards.
Posts: 11,662
|
Post by Johnny on Jun 4, 2007 21:32:46 GMT -5
Just walk out now.
|
|