Post by Brandon Walsh is Insane. on Oct 6, 2007 0:33:45 GMT -5
Good evening, kids! Do you know what time it is?
I can't hear you!
Yes, you are right, it's time for... STORYTIME WITH THE MEAT!
But first, a word from our sponsors...
Ever have the need for a barrel of fun at breakfast time? Then Donkey Kong Cereal is for you! Chock full of vitamins, this will have you rolling all day long!
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And for the kid that has everything, only the sugary goodness of a Ring Pop will do!
![](http://www.weddingbee.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/ring_pop11.jpg)
Ring Pops... Get them now!
...
And we're back!
I am going to now tell you about what has made me into the man that I am today.
Tonights story, children, is entitled "Turning 21, Yes I'm Turning 21, I Really Think So."
My 21st birthday was upcoming, and my friends at work wanted to throw me a party.
What they did, was reserve some tables at Dave and Busters *one of my favorite bars* and let me know a week ahead of time that they were all planning on getting me drunk for the first time.
Now, just so you know, the Meat doesn't advocate drinking; and I never really drank before my 21st birthday. But on this day, I was going to let my guard down and let my friends buy me everything they could think of. No drink or shot would be turned away!
So, here I am, being taken out to a birthday party in my honor, by 10 of my closest guy and girl friends... when suddenly, my girlfriend of 2 years informs me that she wants to go with me.
My response: "But we're going out the day after, I wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable there, knowing that I won't be giving you my full attention."
Her ressponse to that: "I want to be there on your actual birthday, and the only reason why we're going out the day after is because you already made plans with your friends."
My response to her response: "You should have made plans sooner to be with me than. Your fault. Don't go to bed too late."
And that was that.
And I wonder why she ended up cheating on me. Ah well, not like I wanted her there anyway. The Meat was going to turn 21, and the ladies were lining up with their birthday 'gifts'... who am I to take sand to the beach?
So, the fateful night comes, and my best friend picks me up at my place. She informs me that I shouldn't be planning to drive anywhere, and I agree. She takes me to D&B, and it's almost 6 oclock, but she wanted to get me started early.
So, first shot of the night, a Three Wise Men. This was on an empty stomach, mind you... and I chased it with some Smirnoff Ice. I remember her and I at the bar, as the actual dinner party didnt' start until 8:30, and we were all over eachother. At least, no kissing was involved by me. Ahem. I'm a lover, not a cheater.
Anyrate, a few Goldenschlagger shots later, it's time for my party. One by one, my friends start showing up, and One by one I start amassing shots in front of me.
Everytime the waitress brings a drink to me, someone else orders a drink for me. She drops it off, and goes back for more. I lost count of what I drank after what I have named above, but I remember eating the greatest steak I've ever had that night.
From what I remember, was all the girls kissing me Happy Birthday, and I remember taking pictures with them in provocative positions. I was in no shape to do anything tho, and they took full advantage.
I also remember drinkiing a glass of water, without technically drinking it.
I picked it up to my mouth, and tilted it before it reached my mouth, spilling water all over my shirt. That got a huge laugh. I didn't know any better tho.
So what I did, is I called over this girl with a nice rack that happened to have a white shirt on, and asked her if she wanted some water (yes I was out of it, but if she was going to laugh at me, I would get her back.) So, she said sure, laughing at me... and then I poured the water on her shirt. Pictures were taken, and she got upset at me... but the guys calmed her down. Darkest aerola's I have ever seen, that broad. (from seeing the pictures, couldn't see straight that night).
So anyway, I ended up drinking my water with a straw, that I couldn't get into my mouth without help... poking my eye and my nose a few times before any helped me.
3 months later, I broke up with my girlfriend at the time, and the next night, met my fiancee.
But that is another story for another time.
I leave you with this:
Don't drink too much. Know when to say when. Otherwise, you won't be able to enjoy what is happening around you. Take care everybody... and I'll see you next time on...
Storytime With The Meat!
I can't hear you!
Yes, you are right, it's time for... STORYTIME WITH THE MEAT!
But first, a word from our sponsors...
Ever have the need for a barrel of fun at breakfast time? Then Donkey Kong Cereal is for you! Chock full of vitamins, this will have you rolling all day long!
![](http://www.highscoresarcade.com/images/donkeykongcereal.jpg)
And for the kid that has everything, only the sugary goodness of a Ring Pop will do!
![](http://www.weddingbee.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/ring_pop11.jpg)
Ring Pops... Get them now!
...
And we're back!
I am going to now tell you about what has made me into the man that I am today.
Tonights story, children, is entitled "Turning 21, Yes I'm Turning 21, I Really Think So."
My 21st birthday was upcoming, and my friends at work wanted to throw me a party.
What they did, was reserve some tables at Dave and Busters *one of my favorite bars* and let me know a week ahead of time that they were all planning on getting me drunk for the first time.
Now, just so you know, the Meat doesn't advocate drinking; and I never really drank before my 21st birthday. But on this day, I was going to let my guard down and let my friends buy me everything they could think of. No drink or shot would be turned away!
So, here I am, being taken out to a birthday party in my honor, by 10 of my closest guy and girl friends... when suddenly, my girlfriend of 2 years informs me that she wants to go with me.
My response: "But we're going out the day after, I wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable there, knowing that I won't be giving you my full attention."
Her ressponse to that: "I want to be there on your actual birthday, and the only reason why we're going out the day after is because you already made plans with your friends."
My response to her response: "You should have made plans sooner to be with me than. Your fault. Don't go to bed too late."
And that was that.
And I wonder why she ended up cheating on me. Ah well, not like I wanted her there anyway. The Meat was going to turn 21, and the ladies were lining up with their birthday 'gifts'... who am I to take sand to the beach?
So, the fateful night comes, and my best friend picks me up at my place. She informs me that I shouldn't be planning to drive anywhere, and I agree. She takes me to D&B, and it's almost 6 oclock, but she wanted to get me started early.
So, first shot of the night, a Three Wise Men. This was on an empty stomach, mind you... and I chased it with some Smirnoff Ice. I remember her and I at the bar, as the actual dinner party didnt' start until 8:30, and we were all over eachother. At least, no kissing was involved by me. Ahem. I'm a lover, not a cheater.
Anyrate, a few Goldenschlagger shots later, it's time for my party. One by one, my friends start showing up, and One by one I start amassing shots in front of me.
Everytime the waitress brings a drink to me, someone else orders a drink for me. She drops it off, and goes back for more. I lost count of what I drank after what I have named above, but I remember eating the greatest steak I've ever had that night.
From what I remember, was all the girls kissing me Happy Birthday, and I remember taking pictures with them in provocative positions. I was in no shape to do anything tho, and they took full advantage.
I also remember drinkiing a glass of water, without technically drinking it.
I picked it up to my mouth, and tilted it before it reached my mouth, spilling water all over my shirt. That got a huge laugh. I didn't know any better tho.
So what I did, is I called over this girl with a nice rack that happened to have a white shirt on, and asked her if she wanted some water (yes I was out of it, but if she was going to laugh at me, I would get her back.) So, she said sure, laughing at me... and then I poured the water on her shirt. Pictures were taken, and she got upset at me... but the guys calmed her down. Darkest aerola's I have ever seen, that broad. (from seeing the pictures, couldn't see straight that night).
So anyway, I ended up drinking my water with a straw, that I couldn't get into my mouth without help... poking my eye and my nose a few times before any helped me.
3 months later, I broke up with my girlfriend at the time, and the next night, met my fiancee.
But that is another story for another time.
I leave you with this:
Don't drink too much. Know when to say when. Otherwise, you won't be able to enjoy what is happening around you. Take care everybody... and I'll see you next time on...
Storytime With The Meat!