Top 50 Simpsons Characters Countdown Results

[Stu]

Okay, I need to go to work early today. So I'll kick off the Top 10 really quickly.

10: Disco Stu

One day the Simpsons were organizing a garage sale and Homer pulled out an incomplete jacket that was supposed to say "Disco Stud." Marge looked at it and asked:

"Who's Disco Stu?"

At the time that scene first aired, Marge's question likely had little meaning to the audience. These days, however, whenever the episode airs on syndication, that three-word sentence rings a bell in all the minds of Simpsons fans.

Disco Stu is, or was, Springfield's biggest disco fan. He wears a white, rhinestone leisure suit a la Saturday Night Fever, sun glasses and a big fro. Many of his comments come in the third person, including his very first line, the infamous "Disco Stu, doesn't advertise."

He originally had aspirations to be a sea captain and was going to go by the name of Nautical Stu. But once he heard the sweet sounds of disco, he turned into the character we know and love. Unfortunately, it was revealed several years ago that his persona is actually a facade. During a taxi confession, Stu explained he was not really a fan of disco and that it had consumed his life.

Like so many other characters, Stu at some point married Selma Bouvier. He had his marriage annulled by Pope John Paul II.

Random note: Despite his marriage to Selma and at one point hitting on Marge, Stu's sexuality was left in question one episode when he also hit on Bart. However, that incident was done in a sequence portraying Homer's Odyssey.

[Cranjis McBasketball]

buzzkill said:

Surely Clancy Wiggum is in the top ten. The guy is comedy gold...



"Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2."

I'd like to point out that 912 is actually the real number. 911 is for suckers, 912 is for the elite.

[Stu]

9: Ned Flanders

Every sitcom family needs to have a unique neighbor who doesn't overshadow the main characters, but is capable of standing out nonetheless. In this case, we have Springfield's most famous neighbor-ino, Ned Flanders.

Ned is an overly religious character who can be timid and something of a pushover. He is a devout Christian and faithfully follows the Bible as literally as possible and is easily shocked when challenged on any point of dogma. He considers some of his greatest sins to be a run-in with a police officer who mistakenly identified him as Ed Flanders and the time he had an alcoholic beverage and, in a "drunk" stupor, called Ann Landers a "boring old bitty."

His personality is a result of a spanking treatment he had when he was a child. He initially grew up a troubled boy living with his beatnik parents, who were anti-discipline. But once he had undergone a week's worth of spankings, Ned grew accustomed to supressing his anger.

Ned was married to Maude Flanders and father to Rod and Todd. Maude died a few years ago in a freak accident at Springfield Raceway, leaving Ned a widower.

He is in his early 60s and claims his deceptively youthful appearance is due to his conformity to the "clean living, chewing thoroughly, and a daily dose of vitamin church!" Physically, Ned is very muscular and apparently well-endowed below the belt. He is also left handed and, thus, runs a left-handed store called "The Leftorium."

Despite being a good guy, Homer Simpson cannot stand Ned and constantly refers to him as "a stupid jerk."

Random note: Ned briefly (albeit for one episode) starred in his own series called "The Adventures of Ned Flanders" complete with a theme song. The plot revolved around around him thinking the family was late for Sunday church, when it was actually Saturday.

[bigHEADinc]

Not to be a Negative Nancy, but it was 8 months worth of spankings that Ned needed...

[Topher is Human]

Hens love roosters, geese love ganders, everyone else loves Ned Flanders!

[Stu]

8: Groundskeeper Willie

He lives in a shack behind Springfield Elementary. He's Scottish with a strong accent and has the buffest body next to Ned Flanders and Rainer Wolfcastle. The man is also very saracastic and pessimistic, especially when it comes to dealing with Principal Skinner.

There you have Groundskeeper Willie, the man who keeps the school in tip top shape. Of course, he never gets credit for it. In fact, when staff was planning Skinner's birthday, Willie mentioned it was also his birthday only to be told to leave.

Willie was once engaged to be married. Not to Selma Bouvier, but to Sherry Bobbins. The engagement was called off once Bobbins regained her eyesight and Scotland's ugliest man was no longer good enough for her.

The groundskeepr enjoys his free time relaxing in his shack, kicking it in the furnace room or videotaping couples at night. The latter hobby proved useful when Homer was accused of sexual harrassment.

Random note: Willie saw his father hanged for stealing a pig, but did not cry. He finally did after seeing Ralph Wiggum playing George Washington.

[Kenny Brockelstein]

I also 'ate the mess he left on the rug...Ya heard me!

[Stu]

7: Chief Clancy Wiggum

Springfield's finest may also be it's laziest and dumbest. Okay, maybe that's Homer, but Chief Wiggum is still damn close.

Clancy Wiggum is the chief of police, although it would be hard to tell aside from his uniform. morbidly obese, dim witted, ignorant, grossly incompetent, and lazy, with a fondness for doughnuts and "Chintzy Pop". He isn't above taking bribes and once even lost his badge to a duck. When prohibition hit Springfield, he was fired and forced to mug people on the street, using a broken handgun, no less.

Wiggum is often accompanied by officers Eddie and Lou, who prove more capable of enforcing law enforcement. On the flip side, Wiggum has a rivalry with Mayor Joe Quimby over who really runs the city, and his arch nemesis is likely Snake, who on occasion refers to Clancy as Chief Piggum.

Wiggum worked as a security guard at Springfield University, but his asthma prevented him from becoming a police officer. That is, until Mona Simpson and her hippi group sent antibiotics into the air to kill off the germs being experiment on in a lab. In return, Wiggum tipped off Homer and Mona when Mr. Burns came after her.

Clancy is the husband of Sarah Wiggum, whom he met when arresting her for possession of drugs that he planted on her to "make her notice him", and is the father of Ralph Wiggum.

Random note: Wiggum was a founding member of the musical group that would later be known as the "B Sharps." He was kicked out when a music agent decided he was "too Village People."

[Bobeddy]

Additional Random Note: A duck once stole his badge.

[Kenny Brockelstein]

Number 7!?! Don't worry Clancy, you'll always be number one in my heart.

[fuzzywarble, squat cobbler]

Wiggum has perhaps the funniest "How I met my significant other" story

[Vincent Whiney]

This is a great list..Still hoping to see Moe and Mr.Burns up in the top.

[Stu]

6: Sideshow Bob

Comic book villains always pop up once in a blue moon to try their hand at their latest evil plots, and they always fail. That pretty much sums up the tale of Sideshow Bob.

Bob Underdunk Terwilliger first appeared as the sidekick of children's show host Krusty the Klown. But in an effort to usurp the top position, Bob framed Krusty in a Kwik 'E Mart robbery, only to be foiled by Bart Simpson. This kicked off an everlasting grudge that led to Bob trying his hand at extracting revenge on Bart. He did so by:

- Marrying Selma Bouvier and trying to kill her (he was the first of her many husbands).

- Stalking Bart and following the family to Terror Lake, where he tried to murder the child.

- Rigging the Springfield Mayoral Election as a member of the Republican Party.

- Using an atomic bomb to hold Springfield hostage.

- Used Bart as a suicide bomber to kill Krusty.

It should also be mentioned that it was during the Terror Lake incident that one of Bob's other nemesises was first introduced. We refer, of course, to:

Throughout all the murder attempts, Bob worked hard to redeem himself. He helped capture the son of Frank Grimes, who was trying to kill Homer, and even moved to Tuscany to get a fresh start. Of course, a drunken Lisa revealed to the villagers that Bob was a criminal, thus banishing him and his new family. They once again swore revenge on the Simpsons.

The world was also introduced at one point to Bob's brother, Cecil. They lived together and worked to build a new dam, until it was revealed it was all a plot on the part of Cecil to get revenge on Bob for taking his role as Krusty's sidekick. The plot was foiled, but Bob was still jailed due to Chief Wiggum's stupidity and incapability of understanding Bob was a hero for once.

Random note: Bob was once the cellmate of Snake.

[Stu]

5: Krusty the Clown

He's every children's favorite television character. He's a well-known celebrity around Springfield and his face appears on many products. He was even knighted by the Queen of England.

But behind the scenes, here lies one of Springfield's most grumpy, miserable and loathing characters who also happens to be illiterate. So goes the story of Krusty the Clown.

In his personal lift, Krusty frequently gambles on sports and builds up a heavy debt in the process. He has a large porn collection and enjoys smoking cigars. He advertises products that are found to be unsafe and very dangerous to its users. For instance:

Krusty's career lasted for many years and he has shown clips holding performances related to different decades and era. He is friends with many celebrities, including the late Johnny Carson and Bette Midler, whom together he owns a race horse named Cruddler. He is also the half-brother of Luke Perry.

Krusty's real name is Herschel Pinkus Yerucham Shmoikel Krustofsky. He is the son of Rabbi Krustofsky. He also has a young daughter by way of a fling with a female soldier during Operation Desert Storm. It was immediately following the fling that he caused her to fail in an assasination attempt on Saddam Hussein.

Krusty has many enemies, ranging from Sideshow Bob and Fat Tony to Gaabo and several women who he's allegedly sexually harassed. Despite all his tyrades, Bart Simpson has remained a loyal fan and has on several occasions saved Krusty from turmoil.

Random note: Krusty has several physical traits, including his cow-skull birthmark, his pacemaker scar, his superfluous third nipple, and his small feet. His skin may also be permanently white.

[Stu]

4: Bart Simpson

Yeah, right. Like I'm actually going to attempt to give a synoposis of the life of Bart Simpson. We all know that he's the oldest child of the Simpson family. He's an underachiever, loves Krusty, makes crank calls to a local bar, has dated the daughters of several other characters, antagonizes Homer, etc. etc.

Random note: The entire world saw Bart's penis in the Simpson Movie.

[Stu]

Okay folks, there are only three characters left. I'll probably post them later this evening. Who in the world could they be? Who do you think they could be?

Who indeed are the Wrestlecrap Forum's three favorite Simpsons characters???

[Stu]

Ah screw it, here's number three.

3: Moe Syzlak

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows you're name. Well unless you're named Homer, Barney, Lenny, Carl, Sam or Larry, this is not the place for you. Instead, you just stepped into Moe's Tavern, Springfield's favorite watering hole, which is owned by Moe Syzlak.

It's an unwritten rule that bartenders have a side job of listening to customers' sob stories. In the case of Moe, however, he's the one who has plenty of sob stories. And no one's listening. He's a miserable man who tries to kill himself every Christmas. He is apparently unattractive and has low self-esteem.

Moe generally serves Duff beer on tap, having little knowledge of liquors or wines; the liquor bottles visible behind the bar are said to be "painted on," and in one instance, he unknowingly sells an 1888 bottle of Château Latour for a few dollars. Possibly the greatest success his bar ever experienced came when Moe stole Homer's idea and started selling "Flaming Moes." The drink was so succesful that even Aerosmith stopped by. Other success came when he briefly worked as a soap opera star, albeit only because he underwent plastic surgery that fell through after a stage prop collapsed onto Moe.

The bartender isn't above committing illegal activities. He is known to smuggle or hold capitive wild animals, such as pandas and whales, and holds Russian roulette games in his basement. He's operated a casino, performed surgery, served alcohol without a license and even ran a speakeasy when prohibition set in.

Prior to bartending, Moe played "Smelly" in the "Little Rascals" until he killed Alfalfa. He later enjoyed a career in boxing as Kid Gorgeous, followed by Kid Presentable, then Kid Gruesome, ending as Kid Moe. His boxing career ended after being knocked out 40 times in a row.

Unbeknownst to Moe, his biggest antagonist is Bart, who constantly makes crank calls to Moe using double entendres used to embarass the poor guy. He's come close to nabbing Bart several times, but was always totally oblivious to the fact.

Random note: Moe has a longstanding crush on Marge. Despite that, he thinks her name is Midge.

[Push R Truth]

Come on Mr Burns, you can do it!

[Steveweiser]

The Top Two - Austin Vs McMahon, but in Simpsons form!

[Stu]

2: Charles Montgomery Burns

With the sound of the Empire's Imperial music and a collective gasp of power plant workers, one thing is clear. Charles Montgomery Burns has arrived.

Mr. Burns is the owner of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, the city's richest man and also its most evil resident. At more than 100 years old and as frail as a twig, Burns has the coldest (and physically smallest) heart and few other organs, if anything. He has little to no love for anyone and anything and does whatever is in the best interest of himself.

From what we know, the history of Burns began when he was a humble boy living with his poor family, including brother George. He moved in with his rich family members and grew into the hateful man we know. He's done little to keep his power plant in tip top shape, constantly sends his hounds to attack anyone knocking at his door and has even gone so far as to block the sunlight to drive up electricity usage.

It was only a matter of time before Springfield's residents took a stand and went after him, leaving him near death following a gunshot to his heart. Of course, we later learned it was all an accident at the hands of Maggie Simpson.

Burns is known for not remembering Homer's name, bossing around his faithful servant, Smithers and having stolen Christmas from 1981 to 1985. He has been at odds with Grandpa Simpson numerous times, including over the love of Grandma Bouvier and the fortune left behind by the Flying Hellfish.

Through it all, Burns has managed to keep a smile, place his fingers together and drop his trademark line, "Excellent."

Burns also has a son named Larry from a previous fling, developed a crush on Marge, nearly married Grandma Bouvier and fell in love with a female police officer.

Of course, he's so senile that he probably forgot all about those.

Random note? Perhaps the one time Burns was humbled was as a member of the Stonecutters. He was outranked by several members, including Lenny.