RealVince is shown in the back at his truck looking in the rear view mirror in a suit with a bowtie. He is slicking his hair back and combing his beard in the mirror. He sprays on some cologne and pops his collar. Shark Boy walks in and RealVince tells him that since he's got an important date tonight with Nun Tilly, Shark Boy will be DOA for a night. RealVince points to a blow-up pool next to the truck and says that he even gave Shark Boy his own honorary office. Shark Boy jumps up and down and RealVince says he can go do whatever he wants while RealVince finishes getting ready. RealVince reaches into the glove box and pulls out a condom, which he puts into his wallet.
TNA IMPACT ON FSN!
AJ Styles is in the ring with a mic in his hand. He demands a match with Christopher Daniels to settle it once and for all. AJ says that he has a wife and kids and all he wants is for Daniels to leave him alone. AJ says he will even give Daniels a shot at his X-title if it will make Daniels leave him alone. DOA Shark Boy comes out from the back and gets into the ring. Styles asks DOA Shark Boy if he can have his match? DOA Shark Boy nods his head enthusiastically and SLAPS AJ'S ASS. DOA Shark Boy tries to touch AJ's dick as AJ jumps back, confused. Shark Boy leaves the ring as SHARK BOY appears on top of the ramp. AJ is confused as another Shark Boy stands at the top of the ramp. The Shark Boy at the bottom of the ramp takes off his mask to reveal CHRISTOPHER DANIELS, who blows a kiss at AJ and tries to touch Shark Boy's dick as he walks to the back.
At the jail, Steiner is yelling at Kurt Angle. Angle tries to say something but Steiner smacks him in the head. Homicide is sitting around and Steiner yells at him to get his toothbrush and dig them a hole out! Homicide grabs his toothbrush and gets down on his knees trying to dig a hole, but Steiner just gets pissed and gives him a BELLY SUPLEX before locking him in the STEINER RECLINER.
Footage is shown of what happened last week at Extendz with Elix, and Elix getting rushed to the hospital by Red Shirt Medics. Elix is shown waking up in the hospital bed with Dr. Ryan Wilson standing over him. Wilson has a bloody scalpel in his hand and says that he did everything he could, but he had to "REMOVE IT" Elix is groggy and looks under the covers and screams. Ryan Wilson says that Elix ruined a very expensive project and will be forced to pay. Wilson leaves Elix a bill and says that Elix has TWO WEEKS to pay it, and if he does not, he will see him in court.
RealVince pulls the truck up to a beat up trailer. A man walks out in a suit holding a big object.. it's HOYT BENOIT. RealVince asks if that's his date? Hoyt Benoit holds up the urine stained tombstone that reads "THE FABULOUS MOOLAH:
? - 2007" and Hoyt says that's the love of his life. RealVince says she is beautiful and tells Hoyt to "just toss her in the bed of the truck". Hoyt gets in and RealVince drives away. As the car pulls away, BRUNO jumps out from behind a mailbox and follows on a Razor scooter!
The FSNWO (Quartermaine, Lovette, Bentley, and Northcutt) are in the back cutting a promo on David Young. Quartermaine challenges David Young and his "Mr Wrestling" tag team to meet the FSNWO in the ring to settle it once and for all. David Young walks up and accepts, and says that tonight.. his REAL mystery man will show up.
Jeff Jarrett and Kevin Nash are in the back. Erik Watts walks in and tells them that they need to join forces. Watts says that they are the only sane ones in TNA. Watts says that if they joined forces, they would be able to take over and restore TNA's dignity. Watts tells Jarrett and Nash that they are legitimate stars who deserve TV time and if he were DOA, he'd have them fighting for the title. Watts says that they would elevate new stars in feuds and put them over. Jarrett looks at Nash and they both shrug. Nash and Jarrett grab their bags and Nash tells Watts that they don't feel like it and they're going home. Nash and Jarrett walk out as Watts looks flustered.
Black Reign and Truth come out to the ring followed by America's Most Wanted.
TAG TEAM MATCH
BLACK REIGN & TRUTH VS AMERICAS MOST WANTED
Harris and Reign start off with a tie-up until a voice saying "WAIT WAIT WAIT" is heard. Lethal comes out on top of the ramp and says "I have a bombshell for you Truth. I have an announcement about Black Reign's deepest, darkest secret that is gonna rock TNA and the face of wrestling to its very foundations. You see--" Lethal is PUSHED OFF the ramp by SAMOA JOE, who is in his wheelchair! Reign is confused and Harris rolls him up 1...2...3!
WINNER: HARRIS/STORM
After the match, Joe rolls down the ramp towards Harris and Storm and leaps out of his chair at them, falling flat on his face and flopping around like a fish. Harris gets in Joe's wheelchair and Storm pushes him off to the back as Reign and Truth argue in the ring before they walk off, ignoring Joe.
Back in jail, Steiner is yelling at Homicide to dig faster. Homicide is crying and digging at the cement with a toothbrush. Homicide starts digging faster until the hot asian female guard yells for them to open up and that it's time for cell search. The doors open and the guard tells them to "GO!" The guard takes off her hat to reveal GAIL KIM. Steiner grabs her, makes out with her, and feels her tits before running out and belly suplexing the other guards. Kim runs to the next cell door and lets out DON HARRIS AND HERNANDEZ, who is wearing a dress. Harris and Hernandez join in the prison riot. Steiner tries to bend the bars on the window, but can't. Gail runs over and dumps a bottle of steroids into Steiner's mouth. Steiner bends the bars and jumps out the window, followed by Hernandez, Don, Garza, and Homicide. Kurt tries to kiss Gail but ends up puking all over her face. Kurt pushes Gail through the bars and escapes through the window just as more guards are approaching. THE INMATES ARE FREE.
X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP
AJ STYLES (C) VS CHRISTOPHER DANIELS
AJ and Daniels tie up in the ring, and Daniels puts his face in Styles' crotch. Styles backs off and Daniels starts grabbing towards his dick. AJ freaks out and walks around the ring. AJ slides back into the ring and Daniels jumps on his back and starts reaching around towards his dick. AJ flips him over. AJ stomps him down and goes up to the top rope and motions for the SPIRAL TAP. AJ jumps off into the air as the match is PREEMPTED by FOX SPORTS NET.
Cut to a golf course, where a large man in a pink polo shirt is teeing off. It's TOMKO. Relaxin'! Tomko tees off into the air and watches his ball to the green. Tomko smiles and says "it's good to relax once and a while." before the Inmates run through. Homicide steals his golf clubs and Steiner belly suplexes him. Kurt tries to drive the golf cart away but passes out at the wheel and drives it right into a tree. Don Harris puts Kurt on his back and runs away while Hernandez grabs Tomko's NWA title.
Cut back, and AJ and Daniels are in the ring. Daniels gives AJ a german suplex and starts licking him. The clock reads 25:39 until the FOX BOX starts COUNTING DOWN REALLY FAST. The clock counts down to 0 in 10 seconds and the bell rings as a draw. AJ and Daniels are both confused, but that doesn't stop Daniels from trying to touch AJ's ass as AJ jumps out of the ring and runs to the back.
RealVince is sitting at a table with Nun Tilly, Hoyt Benoit, and Moolah's tombstone. RealVince says he really enjoyed his meal. Hoyt tells Moolah's tombstone that he had a good time. The waiter comes up and hands them the bill. RealVince motions to Hoyt Benoit and says that they will be in the car. RealVince tells Nun Tilly that she had "better leave a nice tip.. and not be cheap." Benoit grabs the tombstone and runs off. The waiter comes up to Nun Tilly and asks if she wants dessert? The waiter shoves a BROWNIE in Nun Tilly's mouth and takes off his bowtie to reveal BRUNO. Bruno asks Nun Tilly how she likes the chocolate now? Bruno says that Nun Tilly ruined his life, and now he's about to ruin hers. Before Bruno can do anything else, THE CREEPERS show up. Sting asks Bruno where Hoyt Benoit is? Nun Tilly points outside. Nun Tilly and Bruno follow Sting, Raven, Abyss, Havok, and Jim Mitchell to the outside where the truck is seen rocking back and forth and the windows fogged up. The Creepers start attacking the truck. The Door opens and RealVince sprints away in his underwear while Hoyt is guarding the tombstone. Raven tries to rip it from his hands but Hoyt kicks Raven out of the door, starts up the truck, and drives off, PLOWING OVER JIM MITCHELL.
DOA Shark Boy is in the back, lounging in his pool when Erik Watts comes up to him. Watts tells him that he needs to ask him for a favor. DOA Shark Boy nods his head. Watts asks if he can be DOA for the night? Watts says that if he is DOA tonight then TNA will get a 1.0. Watts says that he wants to make TNA more like a horror movie, and that seeing his face on this kind of TNA every week almost makes him ashamed to be on the program. Watts tells Shark Boy that his eight year old cousin can make a better show. Shark Boy shakes his head no. Watts says that he thought he'd say that, but he has something to change DOA Shark Boy's mind. Watts presents Shark Boy with a tray of fish sticks. Shark Boy's eyes light up as Watts holds them up to Shark Boy's nose and Watts asks him if they smell good. Shark Boy nods enthusiastically and Watts says that all Shark Boy has to do is give him control. Shark Boy smells the fish sticks again and turns to Watts and BITES HIS ARM. Watts jumps around screaming as Shark Boy latches on and doesn't let go until the tray of fish sticks hits the ground. Watts runs away holding his arm as Shark Boy holds the fish sticks and throws them in the pool.
In the back, David Young is on the phone with his mystery man. David Young is leaving a voicemail asking where he is. Mr Wrestling VII and Mr Wrestling VIII come in and tell him that their match is next. David Young looks on disappointed as they head toward the ring.
Bentley, Quartermaine, Lovette, and Northcutt come out from the back. The FSNWO pose on all four corners of the ring before David Young and the Mr. Wrestlings come out. Young asks Quartermaine if he can wait five minutes for his mystery man but the FSNWO turn and beat down Young and the Mr. Wrestlings.
EIGHT MAN TAG
THE FSNWO VS YOUNG, THE MR. WRESTLING XV, AND
??
The FSNWO beat down on Young and the Mr. Wrestlings. David Young rolls out of the ring and leaves the Mr. Wrestlings in the ring as they get 4 on 2 doubleteamed. Young pulls out his cell phone and calls and asks where the mystery man is? David Young shrugs and asks how he got stuck in traffic? Young asks when he's gonna be there? Young is laughing and talking to his mystery man while the FSNWO dismantle the Mr Wrestlings, allowing Lex to pin Mr Wrestling VII.
WINNERS: THE FSNWO
After the match, the FSNWO chase after David Young and David Young runs away.
In the back, the truck is shown pulling up and screeching on its tires. Bruno rolls up behind them on the scooter with Nun Tilly on his back and the Creepers arrive to try to tip over the truck. Hoyt and Moolah's tombstone are in the truck as it is being rocked back and forth by The Creepers. RealVince runs by in his underwear and dives into the bed of the truck before he realizes that they are trying to tip it. RealVince starts praying as the creepers come closer to tipping over the truck. Bruno TURNS ON Nun Tilly, kicking her to the ground and running her over with his scooter. David Young runs out to the back and hides behind the truck. The FSNWO show up and start brawling with the Creepers! Out of nowhere, The Inmates show up and starts BRAWLING with THE CREEPERS AND THE FSNWO. Steiner gives Sting a belly suplex onto the hood of the truck and jumps up onto the hood, locking STING IN THE STEINER RECLINER. The huge brawl erupts around the truck as Hoyt clutches the tombstone in the truck and RealVince prays in his underwear in the bed. TOMKO runs up with his golf club and starts wailing away on everybody. Tomko grabs Garza and throws him into Shark Boy's POOL! Shark Boy gets angry and bites Tomko in the face as Tomko throws him to the ground. Steiner belly suplexes Nun Tilly and Bruno both at once and throws Abyss into the windshield. Steiner turns and BELLY SUPLEXES Kurt Angle, realizes it was his own guy, and doesn't care. Hoyt Benoit opens the door in Steiner's face, knocking him to the ground! Hoyt runs away with the tombstone, leaving a pile of bodies surrounding the truck. RealVince stands up in the bed and runs away in his underwear.
SHOW ENDS.