Post by rra on Feb 6, 2008 6:21:39 GMT -5
STEEL (1997) - *1/2
(NOTE: Thanks to badmovies.org for the photos)
I fully understand why Warner Bros. terminated Steel's umbilical cord to Superman. With Tim Burton's SUPERMAN LIVES in development hell for years before its quiet expensive death, WB wanted to both produce another comic book movie, and to capitalize on Hollywood's then serious belief that NBA legend Shaquille O'Neal could be a movie star.
Yet in severing the character's mythos connection with the Blue Bomber, they undercut the biggest charm of Steel for me. As a kid stunned by the media circus that was the "Death of Superman" storyline, I just dug the idea of a regular Joe deeply inspired by the heroic self-sacrifice of the Last Son of Krypton.
Inspired enough at least to become a Man of Steel himself, much like a generation of Americans driven into public service by President Kennedy's assassination.
For D.C. Comics, Steel practically became their Iron Man, and has become a rare successful superhero who just happens to be black, and not simply a shallow racial token. Plus, he swings around a giant goddamn hammer. He's almost like Thor, but without the divinity issues that annoy pious American readers.
But what was a primitive if slick-designed suit look is now an idiotic-looking trick or treat Halloween costume, and its worn by someone who only helps re-enforce its genuine goofyness.
To prove my point, here's a cartoon version of Steel, who looks like a serious badass you wouldn't want to screw with.
Now compare that with the live-action translation with Shaq...
Wow. Yeah, he's got crooks shaking in their boots alright........from laughter.
While the freakishly tall O'Neal is a future Basketball Hall of Famer, he lacks the physical charisma or charm of say a Schwarzenegger to overcome his "rough" acting edges and be an intimidating presence. For such a monster of a roadblock on the hard courts, Shaq is sure a surprising action lightweight.
Nevermind we get a crappy series of lame gags involving Shaq's (real life) inability to shoot free-throws. This movie bricks brutally hard.
I'll give STEEL credit for not even bothering to try to pass off Shaq as intelligent, as the hero was in the comics. That would have flopped this side of SHAQ FU. While he has neither the brains or braun of John Henry Irons, I think my biggest problem with STEEL as a fan is just its approach as a black film.
Kenneth Johnson, the director of STEEL, had made his bones with V, the legendary mini-series about lizard aliens with sunglasses that was an allegory of Nazis and fascism. He later produced the decent TV cop show ALIEN NATION, which was a metaphor about immigrant minorities trying to assimilate into America.
His STEEL is a guy who comes back to his L.A. ghetto home after serving in the Army and suits up literally after finding out that violent gangs are using his weapons technology.
You may ask, so what? Well, this similar storyline was in the STEEL comics, but not in his native city. I'm sorry, but how can someone be heroic if they do the right thing if only because they have a personal stake invested somehow?
God knows I would have been more dramatically invested within those SPIDER-MAN pictures if his woman wasn't always held hostage by the villain. Can't heroes be heroes simply because its the right thing to do?
Maybe I shouldn't ask for much from what was intended to be a blaxploitation take on the simple-minded adventurism of Tim Burton's BATMAN, but STEEL is so cartoonishly inept and lame this side of Vanilla Ice, even kids hate this movie. I know I did.
Beyond wanting to capitalize on Shaq, the producers and filmmakers of STEEL should have asked people overseas who are fans of D.C. and Marvel Comics. Surely they don't relate to these Yankee heroes as fellow Americans, so what do they see in these supermen?
Why did I dig Steel even though I'm as black as Doogie Howser?
Better yet, why did a rich white Italian-American youth like Nicholas Coppola "borrow" his screen acting name from a wronged black superhero like Luke Cage?
It's not because he can slam dunk a basketball.
