I Feel Like A Moron (Relationship Stuff)

[MCMGM]

Ok, I'll try and make this as simple as possible.

There is this guy who is my 'friend' (meaning he ain't much of one, and I have no idea why I'm still bothering), and I have known him since I was 15. At the time I had a super crush on him, but it faded when I found out he was an asshole.

As I got older I put those feelings I had for him away, so I wouldn't have to deal with it.

Fast forward to this week, this chick who is a mutual 'friend' (she ain't much of one either) tells me the guy in question has broken up with his long time girlfriend and said he wanted to date me.

I'm shocked, but I should have known something was wrong when he didn't tell me himself.

I ask him about it the next morning, because I didn't believe her and he doesn't give me a answer. After I ask if he really broke up with his girlfriend he says 'So, do you or don't you?" and I say "Do I what?" and he said "Forget it".

So this whole week I am lead to believe what she said was true and that he's just been having a hard time expressing it to me.

I'm in a relationship, and we've been through a lot together, but I'm not %100 happy, and my old feelings for this guy started to come back.

So here we are today and I ask for him to hang with me, he doesn't want to, he NEVER does.

If he likes me, why won't he hang out with me?

And as I'm questioning him about WTF is going on with this crap he says to me "brb, my CHICK is on the phone."

The same one he 'broke up' with. So I just got played for a f***ing asshole just so two 'friends' could get their jollies on my account.

I'm beyond angry, because I buried those feelings I had for him, and TOLD this broad I thought I was still in love with him and it was a big deal. And she sat there and kept feeding me bullshit.

I don't know what else to say, really, I'm just hurt and pissed.

[/rant]

[ellisdee]

Well not start anything,because i like your posts and what not,but you can't really preach when you have a boyfriend that you haven't plucked up the courage to tell him you're not happy with him.

[MCMGM]

ellisdee said:

Well not start anything,because i like your posts and what not,but you can't really preach when you have a boyfriend that you haven't plucked up the courage to tell him you're not happy with him.

I'm not 'preaching' and he is fully aware that I'm not %100 happy. Hence why I said we've been through a lot.

[Janitor From Mars]

I would suggest you find friends that don't participate in drama like this.

Don't be so damn gullible. I learned the hard way from being so.

[Kevin Hamilton]

I'd settle things with your guy, one way or another, before worrying about anything else. Only fair.

[Janitor From Mars]

jackrabbitslim said:

I'd settle things with your guy, one way or another, before worrying about anything else. Only fair.

Agreed.

[MCMGM]

jackrabbitslim said:

I'd settle things with your guy, one way or another, before worrying about anything else. Only fair.

I know, it's just a long story.

BAH!

[Kevin Hamilton]

Not weighin in on it per se, as I don't know the full story, that'd just be my move, personally.

[Mr. Emoticon Man, TF Fan]

A shotgun would help you solve the 'friends' problem.

[Franchise]

As someone who happens to be very close to someone who's in a relationship where she's not happy, I'd like to reiterate what a lot of people have been saying and get happy with it. If that means leaving the guy, do so. It took this person in my life, who I care about very very much, to hurt herself to gather the courage to do it. Not that I'm saying you will, but I've notcied a lot of women are almost afraid to leave relationships, so...don't be one of those people! lol

Now, if this guy is as good a friend as you make it seem (known him for a long time, talk a lot, etc) then it's time to discuss it-but no screaming, yelling, etc, be as calm as you can about it. Maybe something will come out of it, maybe not, but at least you'll know the whole story and you can go from there, whether it's beginning a new relationship, working on your current one, or moving away from both men.

That's my .02.

[Cranjis McBasketball]

franchise said:

As someone who happens to be very close to someone who's in a relationship where she's not happy, I'd like to reiterate what a lot of people have been saying and get happy with it. If that means leaving the guy, do so. It took this person in my life, who I care about very very much, to hurt herself to gather the courage to do it. Not that I'm saying you will, but I've notcied a lot of women are almost afraid to leave relationships, so...don't be one of those people!

You know her, too, huh?

[Steve Corino Mark]

Do you want a bunch of us to get together and burn down there houses or something? Poop in a bag then light it on fire?

[Loki]

It doesn't look promising...

This guy was probably trying to take a break from his current, not so great, relationship, so he wanted to see if you were "available" (I suppose he's aware of your crush/sympathy).

Now if that alone wasn't enough, you are in a troubled relationship too...

I think both of you should decide what you want to do with your (barely) significant other first, and THEN, if you're single again may think about dating.

Any other solution would lead to unnecessary drama

[Chainsaw]

Sounds like there could be as much miscommunication as there is BS going around, MCMGM. One friend hears something from the grapevine, she thinks it's something where there's more to the story. She tells you, you get confused, you try to approach him, he's also got feelings for you, but he doesn't have half the story either. So you guys hem and haw through it, you aren't forthcoming with each other, and both of you miss an opportunity. You have to sit him down, explain how you feel, and see how he feels about you. If there's something there, go with it. It sounds like there is, who knows? You won't until you talk to him. The man's not legally bound to this girl, and you're not legally bound by anyone.

We as people do these things to ourselves because we don't want to have our hearts broken. We'd rather live in the hypothetical than see what the truth is, even when it's in front of us. Trust me, I went through that plenty in my life, and it right out sucks. I had a weight on my shoulder for 5 years after I lost one of my best friends because of circumstances out of my control, and that finally got resolved last year. And it's a weight that feels wonderful to be off my shoulders.





You know, you'll all be much better off once you've undergone the Cyber Conversion Process.