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Post by motormouf on Apr 7, 2008 21:22:44 GMT -5
There are laws of physics, laws of biology etc which all things subject to them must follow (gravity, relativity etc) The comic world also has its own which all characters, plotlines etc ever readers follow- what are they?
Here are some of mine
Dead is dead until we cam make money from you- Bucky, Jason Todd, Collossus etc
Fan boys will cry, but they'll still buy- Whenever a major change is made to a status quo of a comic- death, replacement etc. The fans may complain but if it's well written theyll still buy the comics- e.g Brand New DAy, Death of Captain America etc.
Brian Michael Bendis will always find a way to draw out the simplest 2 line statement into a page long speech e.g
Normal writer -Hulk SMASH
Bendis- Hulk smash because Hulk is filled with rage, angst and anger at you and hulk will utterly destry you human. You will feel all of Huks rage and anger for all of thses years of pain, death loss and abuse.
And despite this Wizard magazine will always praise him for it.
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Post by G✇JI☈A on Apr 7, 2008 21:28:53 GMT -5
A villain will come up with a plan that would make the citizens turn on the hero. Usually the plan involves robbing a bank in the hero's costume.
And the plan works nearly every time. Despite saving countless lives and saving the World a few times the people forgot about that call for the hero's arrest without questioning why a hero would suddenly turn to petty crime.
I will call that the stupid and ungrateful citizen law.
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Post by weaselboy on Apr 7, 2008 21:52:02 GMT -5
With CCTV surrveilance at its height and with potentially dozens of witnesses at your crimes its best to disguise yourself as best you can. Many criminals often use the simple conventions of wearing big, bulky non descript sports wear such as hoodies and baseball caps when committing their felonious deeds. Allowing you to slip in and out of crowds in a discreet fashion.
However if you're a comic book villian its probably best to do the complete oppoisite. Invest in a completely distinctive bright, garish spandex outfit loaded with colour and announce every move of your crime in a loud booming authorative voice. Also cover your costume in symbols and letters that kindly give away your initials and identity. Yeah lets see them try identify you in a line up.
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JMA
Hank Scorpio
Down With Capitalism!
Posts: 6,880
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Post by JMA on Apr 7, 2008 21:56:38 GMT -5
Overly masculine bad-ass characters can kill and maim whoever they want and still team-up with heroes even if said bad-ass is a villain). However, an emotionally "weak" character who commits the same acts will be seen as worse and won't be allowed to team-up with the heroes. Why? Because the overly masculine bad-asses are power-fantasies that some fans want to identify with--they don't want to identify with a "weak" character because it would mean admitting that a part of them is weak.
Basically, in comics, murder is okay as long as you're a tough guy.
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Post by weaselboy on Apr 7, 2008 22:25:48 GMT -5
Number 4399: Taking off your glasses and combing your hair differently is a brilliant disguise
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TuneinTokyo
Hank Scorpio
The Mountain from Stone Mountain
Posts: 6,431
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Post by TuneinTokyo on Apr 7, 2008 22:31:12 GMT -5
Hulk pants have amazing elasticity.
You will never escape With great power comes great responsibility.
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Goldenbane
Hank Scorpio
THE G.D. Goldenbane
Posts: 7,331
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Post by Goldenbane on Apr 7, 2008 22:36:58 GMT -5
If a mega ultra powerful character (see: Superman, Thor, Hulk, Captain Marvel, Silver Surfer, and Green Lantern) go up against an extremely weak or nonpowered hero (Captain America, Batman, Punisher, Nightwing) the reader must ignore all logic that says ultra powered guy will win. Said ultra hero will LOSE every single last time. Weak hero will "use their brains" and somehow avoid faster-than-thought speeds, area effecting attacks, and strength than could level the entire planet. Even if ultra hero is considered a vastly brilliant being with billions of years of experience, he/she will be a complete and total dunder head against the weak hero...and cringe in awe and amazement as his slow, totally ineffective attacks manage to miss the weak hero every single time.
Eternity? Living Tribunal? Infinity? Life? Death? The All? The Being? Love? Hate? The Beyonder? All these beings pale in power compaired to Aunt May. Aunt May is completely invincible and unkillable.
No matter how cruel, evil, vile, despicable, mean, vicious, rude, and nasty a "main stream" bat-villain is...they are NOT allowed to be killed or even maimed under any circumstances. A citizen who's had his entire family raped and murdered by Joker will be stopped by Batman when he tries to get revenge. Even the removal of Joker's limbs to help negate his effectiveness is considered a huge "no-no" by Batman. If said citizen shows up again, in costume he will promptly be taken down by Batman and cussed out for doing such dangerous work "IN MY CITY!" despite the fact that Batman himself is essencially doing the exact same thing for essencially the exact same reason.
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kemps
AC Slater
Posts: 139 
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Post by kemps on Apr 7, 2008 23:10:57 GMT -5
No one really dies
Ten years in real life = almost a year in comics
Sidekicks will always remain sidekicks (exception being the Flash)
All popular series (Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, etc.) NEVER ends
All female heroes must wear some variation of a swimsuit as their costume
Villains, after becoming good, always become weaker
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Post by Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!! on Apr 8, 2008 12:37:13 GMT -5
you can help save the world countless times and invent all kinds of useful inventions, but no matter what you do, no matter how often you earn forgiveness, you'll never be forgiven for snapping and backhanding your wife one time. expect it to be exaggerated beyond what it was even more every 5 years. (Hank Pym)
Superheros can't ever be married or happy. being a 30 year old loser who still lives with his aunt is a much better option and any fan who disagrees apparently isn't a real fan. (Spiderman)
it doesn;t matter that you were drugged and hallucinating about the one woman you love, or that it was basically woman-on-man RAPE, everyone will accuse you of cheating on your girlfriend anyway. (Green Arrow)
on the flipside, apparently killing millions of people while in a sound state of mind is something fans will overlook because they like you. when it's revealed that you werent actually in control of yourself at all, which is the only plausible and realistic way anyone would EVER forgive you for it, expect fanboys to throw a fit anyway (Green Lantern)
your sidekick can grow into a 20-something-year old but you will always be 35ish and never get any older (Batman, Green Arrow, Wonder Woman, Aquaman)
not only will YOU not kill your mass-murdering arch nemesis to save people's lives, no-one else will either (Batman)
apparently nothing good ever happened in comics after 1979 and anyone who disagrees with you is an idiot and you'll write a series explaining why(Alex Ross, Joe Quesada)
comic book series are never allowed to grow and change, no matter how positive and well written a change (X-men after Grant Morrison left)
people who can blow a mountain in half by looking at it or cause earthquakes by thinking about it are a perfecttly plausible metaphor for racism and homophobia. also, people will overlook the fact that you have super-powers at all and differentiate between people who were born with them and people who got them later in life (X-men vs. the rest of the Marvel Universe)
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Post by DSR on Apr 8, 2008 12:42:48 GMT -5
No matter how tiny their backs, or how big their busts, comic book women will never suffer any sort of back problems.
Subcategory: Ladies, unless your name is "Aunt May" as soon as you hit puberty, you will automatically become the hottest, curviest thing walking...at least until the next girl hits puberty.
Wolverine must be everywhere at all times. He's the most important person ever.
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@TenaciousBe
Hank Scorpio
Guess who's back... back again
Posts: 5,659
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Post by @TenaciousBe on Apr 8, 2008 13:43:18 GMT -5
The person standing on the left will talk first.
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JMA
Hank Scorpio
Down With Capitalism!
Posts: 6,880
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Post by JMA on Apr 8, 2008 14:22:57 GMT -5
No matter how tiny their backs, or how big their busts, comic book women will never suffer any sort of back problems. That's where super-strength, telekinesis, and invulnerability comes in handy. |
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Post by shadowforce420 on Apr 8, 2008 14:42:08 GMT -5
Batman will win no matter how strong you are, smart you are, or how many powers you have.
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JMA
Hank Scorpio
Down With Capitalism!
Posts: 6,880
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Post by JMA on Apr 8, 2008 14:47:02 GMT -5
Comic writers are marks for human characters.
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Post by DSR on Apr 8, 2008 15:36:26 GMT -5
No matter how tiny their backs, or how big their busts, comic book women will never suffer any sort of back problems. That's where super-strength, telekinesis, and invulnerability comes in handy. You must've missed my subcategory... Mary Jane has none of those powers. Neither did Barbara Gordon, and she didn't get back problems until "The Killing Joke." ;D |
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Post by Stu on Apr 8, 2008 15:40:24 GMT -5
Mega super ultra hyper villains will often be killed, but somehow manage to come back to life. At the same time, the weaker villains who no one really cares about never die at all.
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