Phosphor Glow
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Is a real girl!
Posts: 19,873 
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Post by Phosphor Glow on May 29, 2008 23:25:21 GMT -5
I was going out to feed the cat...grandparents are out of town...apparently I ended up locking the screen door behind me (I have a tendency to subconciously lock doors because I'm weird about that sort of thing).
Now...I've got my house keys on me, but those do absolutely nothing for a screen door. So I'm quickly running through my options...I could break the glass, but that'd be messy and expensive. So I tried unscrewing the screen door...that didn't work very well...I believe it's adhered to the house.
So I go outside and unscrew the screen window to the living room...but the inside window is locked.
Finally I go over to MY room, and unscrew that screen...fortunately my window was not locked. So I raise the blinds and open the curtains to see what can break my fall...fortunately my bed was nearby...so I slid it over next to the window and slid my stupid ass in onto the bed, pretty ungracefully.
All the while I was REALLY hoping some cop would not come by or someone wouldn't call the cops or anything...'cause I really didn't wanna explain why I was breaking into this house in the middle of the night. Unless of course it was a cop I knew...then it'd be okay.
But yeah...tonight was awesome, 'cause I totally got to break into my own house.
Again. I've actually done this before. Couple years ago...pretty much the same scenario, except I had no keys, it was daylight, and I had to borrow someone else's screwdriver.
Hell of a way to kick off my last week at home, eh?
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Post by Non Banjoble Tokens on May 29, 2008 23:32:34 GMT -5
Yeah, that's pretty much how I do it when I wanna get into the neighbor ladies house and steal her underwear.
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PSJ
Don Corleone
If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person?
Posts: 1,657
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Post by PSJ on May 29, 2008 23:32:40 GMT -5
An ex gf and I got a really pricey apartment in an ultra nice part of town a few years ago.
I worked during the bulk of the day and she was in school then work for the biggest part of the day so we moved all our stuff in REALLY early in the mornings... therefore the neighborhood really hadnt seen us. The first night we stayed there we decided to go out to eat ... when we got home we realized neither of us had grabbed a house key and it was too late to call the landlord. Sooooo my genius ass decides to stand on a crate and pop out a window screen then lift her enough to slide the window open and crawl in. 15 minutes later there were 3 police cruisers and like 5 cops there....
fun fun fun
I did get one HELL of a blowjob that night though.
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PSJ
Don Corleone
If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person?
Posts: 1,657
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Post by PSJ on May 29, 2008 23:33:50 GMT -5
Yeah, that's pretty much how I do it when I wanna get into the neighbor ladies house and stealsniff her underwear. No lies with me around man |
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Phosphor Glow
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Is a real girl!
Posts: 19,873
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Post by Phosphor Glow on May 29, 2008 23:34:22 GMT -5
An ex gf and I got a really pricey apartment in an ultra nice part of town a few years ago. I worked during the bulk of the day and she was in school then work for the biggest part of the day so we moved all our stuff in REALLY early in the mornings... therefore the neighborhood really hadnt seen us. The first night we stayed there we decided to go out to eat ... when we got home we realized neither of us had grabbed a house key and it was too late to call the landlord. Sooooo my genius ass decides to stand on a crate and pop out a window screen then lift her enough to slide the window open and crawl in. 15 minutes later there were 3 police cruisers and like 5 cops there.... fun fun fun I did get one HELL of a blowjob that night though. I wish I'd get one helluva blowjob tonight  |
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Post by Non Banjoble Tokens on May 29, 2008 23:36:28 GMT -5
An ex gf and I got a really pricey apartment in an ultra nice part of town a few years ago. I worked during the bulk of the day and she was in school then work for the biggest part of the day so we moved all our stuff in REALLY early in the mornings... therefore the neighborhood really hadnt seen us. The first night we stayed there we decided to go out to eat ... when we got home we realized neither of us had grabbed a house key and it was too late to call the landlord. Sooooo my genius ass decides to stand on a crate and pop out a window screen then lift her enough to slide the window open and crawl in. 15 minutes later there were 3 police cruisers and like 5 cops there.... fun fun fun I did get one HELL of a blowjob that night though. I wish I'd get one helluva blowjob tonight You still can don't cha know.......  Wait, I didn't say that.  |
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Rube
Hank Scorpio
Sammich Bogart
It's always the same and it's always different.
Posts: 5,619
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Post by Rube on May 29, 2008 23:37:40 GMT -5
I like where this thread is going.
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PSJ
Don Corleone
If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person?
Posts: 1,657
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Post by PSJ on May 29, 2008 23:38:15 GMT -5
An ex gf and I got a really pricey apartment in an ultra nice part of town a few years ago. I worked during the bulk of the day and she was in school then work for the biggest part of the day so we moved all our stuff in REALLY early in the mornings... therefore the neighborhood really hadnt seen us. The first night we stayed there we decided to go out to eat ... when we got home we realized neither of us had grabbed a house key and it was too late to call the landlord. Sooooo my genius ass decides to stand on a crate and pop out a window screen then lift her enough to slide the window open and crawl in. 15 minutes later there were 3 police cruisers and like 5 cops there.... fun fun fun I did get one HELL of a blowjob that night though. I wish I'd get one helluva blowjob tonight She ended up being a big whore.... nice in the sack tho. Want her number? |
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Post by gmanquik on May 29, 2008 23:41:00 GMT -5
An ex gf and I got a really pricey apartment in an ultra nice part of town a few years ago. I worked during the bulk of the day and she was in school then work for the biggest part of the day so we moved all our stuff in REALLY early in the mornings... therefore the neighborhood really hadnt seen us. The first night we stayed there we decided to go out to eat ... when we got home we realized neither of us had grabbed a house key and it was too late to call the landlord. Sooooo my genius ass decides to stand on a crate and pop out a window screen then lift her enough to slide the window open and crawl in. 15 minutes later there were 3 police cruisers and like 5 cops there.... fun fun fun I did get one HELL of a blowjob that night though. I wish I'd get one helluva blowjob tonight Lulz. In other words, FAIL AT KEYS I always keep one connected to my wallet, which I always wear...except maybe in the shower. Last I checked though, I don't shower outside, so if you do the same, give it a try. Or not. All you gots to do is get a few of your vertebrae removed, and you can do it anytime, anywhere! Kekekekeke... |
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Phosphor Glow
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Is a real girl!
Posts: 19,873
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Post by Phosphor Glow on May 29, 2008 23:41:06 GMT -5
I wish I'd get one helluva blowjob tonight She ended up being a big whore.... nice in the sack tho. Want her number? ...I'm good  |
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PSJ
Don Corleone
If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person?
Posts: 1,657
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Post by PSJ on May 30, 2008 0:00:27 GMT -5
She ended up being a big whore.... nice in the sack tho. Want her number? ...I'm good Well... not BIG. She kinda had a horse face but she had a nice little body and firm ass. Think of a lesser Hilary Swank.... but a whore. |
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Post by Non Banjoble Tokens on May 30, 2008 0:02:27 GMT -5
...I'm good Well... not BIG. She kinda had a horse face but she had a nice little body and firm ass. Think of a lesser Hilary Swank.... but a whore. Can I get her number? ;D |
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Ace Diamond
Patti Mayonnaise
Believes in Adrian Veidt, as Should We All.
mmm...flavor text
Posts: 36,043
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Post by Ace Diamond on May 30, 2008 0:02:27 GMT -5
I had to break into my own house once as well, though admittedly it was a lot easier than this because it was during winter time and the screens weren't in. Just a matter of finding the right window, fortunately someone didn't lock the window to the breezeway pretty much right next to the door so...
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Post by -Lithium- on May 30, 2008 0:05:00 GMT -5
Everytime I get locked out of my house I do the same thing. Check all the windows and see if I can unscrew the garage door handle. I dont know why since everythings always locked, and the garage door handle thing never works...
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PSJ
Don Corleone
If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person?
Posts: 1,657
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Post by PSJ on May 30, 2008 0:12:56 GMT -5
Well... not BIG. She kinda had a horse face but she had a nice little body and firm ass. Think of a lesser Hilary Swank.... but a whore. Can I get her number? ;D Shit. The more im thinkin' about it I wish I still had her number. Id be all like "Hey shithead. Forget the day I almost ran you and that dude you cheated on me with.... remember the time I took you to the Bahamas? Well im single again.... assume the Bahamas position woman!" |
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Phosphor Glow
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Is a real girl!
Posts: 19,873
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Post by Phosphor Glow on May 30, 2008 0:21:27 GMT -5
I'm just glad I don't have to bother with shit like this anymore in a week.
Granted, if I do this in my apartment...it's gonna be WAY harder to break in.
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Johnny B. Decent
Patti Mayonnaise
Had one once
Everybody's Favorite Arizonian.
Posts: 31,076 
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on May 30, 2008 0:22:13 GMT -5
So, what did you steal?
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Phosphor Glow
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Is a real girl!
Posts: 19,873
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Post by Phosphor Glow on May 30, 2008 0:32:46 GMT -5
Oh man, I made out pretty good.
Stole everything from this faggot's room...put it all in boxes in their garage. The queer'll never know what hit him.
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Johnny B. Decent
Patti Mayonnaise
Had one once
Everybody's Favorite Arizonian.
Posts: 31,076
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on May 30, 2008 0:33:40 GMT -5
Oh man, I made out pretty good. Stole everything from this faggot's room...put it all in boxes in their garage. The queer'll never know what hit him. That's what I'm talking about! |
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Phosphor Glow
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Is a real girl!
Posts: 19,873
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Post by Phosphor Glow on May 30, 2008 0:35:42 GMT -5
I know right?
...so it's perfectly reasonable to be able to just take the boxes from the garage, whenever, right? They won't care.
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