Post by Dave at the Movies on Jul 23, 2008 19:40:37 GMT -5
Okay this is a new thing I'm gonna do from now on. I'm gonna type results to wrestling shows in a warriah style promo from now on. Enjoy ;D
*RENEGADE WARRIAH walks in front of a brick wall and looks really mad*
Today my little warriahites of the lost soul of the underworld better known as the wrestlecrap forums I shall retell you all the happenings of what went on in ECW last night WARRIAH style!
First it took place from Philadelphia! You know the place where the fresh prince will smith was from! The same place where he bounced a basketball off the head of a huge gangsta and then ran away to live with lovable uncle Phil and gang to avoid the beating of his weak yet exciting little life! Too bad he didn't bounce that basketball off the head of Batista because Batista would have just fallen down and cried like a baby........................................FOR TWO DAYS!!!!
So on to the ECW show! First Long was out in the middle of the ring and announced that they have a newwwwww ECW Championship belt! It was big and it was silver and it was just the type of belt you think would fit Mark Henry but we all know just like Jeff Hardy trying to show charisma that that is completely and utterly impossible! So Mark Henry and his mentor Tony "I need money" Atlas came out and Henry grabbed that new world title like a kid in a toy store! Then they brought out Barry Horowitz Version 2.0 Colin Delaney and congradulated him for his help in helping Mark Henry successfully defend his ECW Championship! Long announced that Delaney would have an epic ultra galactic battle with the future Tommy "I'm not quite so hardcore anymore" Dreamer and Dreamer came out! The big bad forces of thee "Strongest Man Of the guys who look like kids when they pick up their wrestling championship belt World" Mark Henry and Tony "I took this job because I screwed up financially" Atlas left little Horowit..........I mean Delaney to defend for himself! Tommy "My best years are behind me" Dreamer engadged in an epic battle with young Delaney. First they battled in the ring! Then they battled outside the ring! Then they battled outside the "ECW Joey Styles "Oh my God"!!!" crowd! Okay okay it was a another Delney squash match but come on the WARRIAH is trying to spice it up for you so you don't think it was as mediocre as it really was!
The WARRIAH has high expectations for that Delaney kid and thinks if he can hit the gym like me the WARRIAH he one day too can flex his muscles and make the intergalactic girls swoon all over him in the PARTS UNKNOWN!!!!!!!
So Dreamer won and we go to a little conversation between Mike "I got this gig caz I'm a reality tv star" the Miz and John "I say random things and I like it like that" Morrision. They took liberty and justice with each other and kissed the ass of the other in a two minute conversation and wished each other the luck of Bhuuuuuuuuddddddddaaaaaaa!!!! Then they parted ways. Let the RENEGADE tell ya there is defently WARRIAHS in the Palace of Wisssssdddddoooooommmmm!!!!!!
Next we had Chavo "Guerrero means WARRIAH in Spanish" Guerrero and Bam "the big tall almighty human fence" Neely come out to do commentary on Evan "don't call me Jason" Bourne. Jaso.....I mean Evan the flyer of the eagles and who is air Bourne faced off with an epic almighty men of all men ...................uhhhhh............well I don't remember the jobbers name but he sure had a snazzy and glorious black leather vest and tight goatee! Evan won with his great and powerful skillz of a flying speedy...........uhhhh..........fast guy!!!! Chavo and Bam(you know that quiet bald guy that looks like a fence) tried to attack Evan after the match but Evan with his quick and intense and almighty quickness slipped through their grasps like snot on a cold day afternoon in winter when you have no coat on and are sick as a dog!!!!!!!
Next we had a little segment with Ricky "no not Atlas" Ortiz. I don't quite remember what happened in this segment for I was curling tree trunks(yeah go ahead laugh off your steroid jokes!!!
) and got a huge cramp!!! all that I got from this segment was that Long actually had hair at one time and it freaked me out so much that I started WARRIAHing up and ran outside and jumped from the ground to my phone lines and started shaking the electrical wire as it electricuted meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then I came back inside(of course I was not burnt from the electricution because I have the power of the WARRIAH) and saw that I missed the main event. I don't know who won but my WARRIAH POWER phsycic instincts tell me that it was Matt "Freaking yes three words" Hardy won!!!!!!!(Okay fine I didn't use my power I looked on the internet like all of you did!!! Don't make me go grab a street light pole and make me break it over your head!!!!)
So there you have it my little WARRIAHites!!! That is what happened on E(yeah not so extreme)CW! I hoped you enjoyed this episode of "As Told By RENEGADE WARRIAH DAVE" because if you didn't I will find you and lay the hand of the greek gods upon your poor pathetic head and then I will yank out your nose so it stretches like pinnochio's and give you unprotected chairshots until you bleed out your ears and then twist off your arms and beat you with them and yell out to the heavens that this is my destiny!!!!!!!...............but of course you can all avoid that by telling me I did a great job.
*RENEGADE WARRIAH DAVE turns around and busts through the brick wall as the show fades to black.*
*RENEGADE WARRIAH walks in front of a brick wall and looks really mad*
Today my little warriahites of the lost soul of the underworld better known as the wrestlecrap forums I shall retell you all the happenings of what went on in ECW last night WARRIAH style!
First it took place from Philadelphia! You know the place where the fresh prince will smith was from! The same place where he bounced a basketball off the head of a huge gangsta and then ran away to live with lovable uncle Phil and gang to avoid the beating of his weak yet exciting little life! Too bad he didn't bounce that basketball off the head of Batista because Batista would have just fallen down and cried like a baby........................................FOR TWO DAYS!!!!
So on to the ECW show! First Long was out in the middle of the ring and announced that they have a newwwwww ECW Championship belt! It was big and it was silver and it was just the type of belt you think would fit Mark Henry but we all know just like Jeff Hardy trying to show charisma that that is completely and utterly impossible! So Mark Henry and his mentor Tony "I need money" Atlas came out and Henry grabbed that new world title like a kid in a toy store! Then they brought out Barry Horowitz Version 2.0 Colin Delaney and congradulated him for his help in helping Mark Henry successfully defend his ECW Championship! Long announced that Delaney would have an epic ultra galactic battle with the future Tommy "I'm not quite so hardcore anymore" Dreamer and Dreamer came out! The big bad forces of thee "Strongest Man Of the guys who look like kids when they pick up their wrestling championship belt World" Mark Henry and Tony "I took this job because I screwed up financially" Atlas left little Horowit..........I mean Delaney to defend for himself! Tommy "My best years are behind me" Dreamer engadged in an epic battle with young Delaney. First they battled in the ring! Then they battled outside the ring! Then they battled outside the "ECW Joey Styles "Oh my God"!!!" crowd! Okay okay it was a another Delney squash match but come on the WARRIAH is trying to spice it up for you so you don't think it was as mediocre as it really was!
The WARRIAH has high expectations for that Delaney kid and thinks if he can hit the gym like me the WARRIAH he one day too can flex his muscles and make the intergalactic girls swoon all over him in the PARTS UNKNOWN!!!!!!!
So Dreamer won and we go to a little conversation between Mike "I got this gig caz I'm a reality tv star" the Miz and John "I say random things and I like it like that" Morrision. They took liberty and justice with each other and kissed the ass of the other in a two minute conversation and wished each other the luck of Bhuuuuuuuuddddddddaaaaaaa!!!! Then they parted ways. Let the RENEGADE tell ya there is defently WARRIAHS in the Palace of Wisssssdddddoooooommmmm!!!!!!
Next we had Chavo "Guerrero means WARRIAH in Spanish" Guerrero and Bam "the big tall almighty human fence" Neely come out to do commentary on Evan "don't call me Jason" Bourne. Jaso.....I mean Evan the flyer of the eagles and who is air Bourne faced off with an epic almighty men of all men ...................uhhhhh............well I don't remember the jobbers name but he sure had a snazzy and glorious black leather vest and tight goatee! Evan won with his great and powerful skillz of a flying speedy...........uhhhh..........fast guy!!!! Chavo and Bam(you know that quiet bald guy that looks like a fence) tried to attack Evan after the match but Evan with his quick and intense and almighty quickness slipped through their grasps like snot on a cold day afternoon in winter when you have no coat on and are sick as a dog!!!!!!!
Next we had a little segment with Ricky "no not Atlas" Ortiz. I don't quite remember what happened in this segment for I was curling tree trunks(yeah go ahead laugh off your steroid jokes!!!
) and got a huge cramp!!! all that I got from this segment was that Long actually had hair at one time and it freaked me out so much that I started WARRIAHing up and ran outside and jumped from the ground to my phone lines and started shaking the electrical wire as it electricuted meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Then I came back inside(of course I was not burnt from the electricution because I have the power of the WARRIAH) and saw that I missed the main event. I don't know who won but my WARRIAH POWER phsycic instincts tell me that it was Matt "Freaking yes three words" Hardy won!!!!!!!(Okay fine I didn't use my power I looked on the internet like all of you did!!!
Don't make me go grab a street light pole and make me break it over your head!!!!)So there you have it my little WARRIAHites!!! That is what happened on E(yeah not so extreme)CW! I hoped you enjoyed this episode of "As Told By RENEGADE WARRIAH DAVE" because if you didn't I will find you and lay the hand of the greek gods upon your poor pathetic head and then I will yank out your nose so it stretches like pinnochio's and give you unprotected chairshots until you bleed out your ears and then twist off your arms and beat you with them and yell out to the heavens that this is my destiny!!!!!!!...............but of course you can all avoid that by telling me I did a great job.
*RENEGADE WARRIAH DAVE turns around and busts through the brick wall as the show fades to black.*
wait.
justmac you are a true inspiration to the RENEGADE WARRIAH!!!! I shall use the POWER OF CAPS FROM NOW ONNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
