Working On Another (Horror) Script

[MCMGM]

Vile:

pc.celtx.com/project/WTHIdQUCdMyI/view/http://celtx.com/res/1kEqvojZWTHA

Leave me any comments, suggests or criticism you have.

Thanks for reading.

Ninja EDIT: You may have to copy and paste the link. Also, this is not the whole script.

[MCMGM]

*Sigh*

Bump

[Clash, Never a Meter Maid]

I like it a lot. Is there gonna be more?

You have a knack for coming up with believable characters without beating the reader over the head with needless details.

[nonrev]

I liked the script overall, but I'm not sure whether you were trying to write a serious horror, or a spoofish horror (Shaun of the Dead like). My opinions are based on the assumption it is the former

SPOILER ALERT (for those who haven't read the script yet)






I'm typing out the likes and dislikes as I am reading it so I can give you my first impressions immediately

Likes

I absolutely hate the Becky girl (in the legitimate heat kind of way); kudos on making me hate her from the very beginning.

I love the abnoxious parents comments about their Ivy-league kids and the other parents bothering Jake to tell him that they support the troops

I love Mrs. Boyd ripping off Mr. Boyd's head with no explanation


Dislikes

General Reece seems more like an over-the-top cartoonish villain than a more realistic villain (if you were going for over the top then it's fine)

If this is expected to be somewhat based in a realistic setting I would imagine a lot more swearing from everyone immediately following Mr. Boyd's decapitation.

The whole drudging on the "Why don't you kids have cell-phones?" comments from Karin seemed kind of annoying.

The whole joint saying "Oh yeah." at the end seems kind of cheesy

Confused by...
Aren't graduates usually introduced in alphabetical order? I don't mean to nitpick but this kinda jumped out at me.


Hope this constructive criticism helps