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Post by Joel, Mike, Currently...? on Sept 27, 2005 18:29:15 GMT -5
Josh Matthews is standing by with our old friends, Joel and Mike, the Nyrds!
Josh: Well guys, the first thing on our minds, I think, is, why did you two get back together so easily?
Mike: Well, I guess we weren't really as mad at eachother as we thought we were.
Joel: And I guess sometimes, just to let loose some tension, you just have to kick the crap out of eachother in a brutal street fight with appliances.
Josh: I'd like to take you back to yesterday. Yesterday, the PTA made their disgust known about your lifestyle. Let's just take a look. I warn you, some people at home, you may want to leave the room. It's hard to watch.
*A clip is shown of Principal Pain and Canceler destroying the Nintendo DS. We then go back to Joel and Mike, and both are near tears*
Joel: Oh...my...
Mike: That's just...
Mike runs offscreen and can be heard vomiting.
Joel: Principal Pain, that's just...SICK. It's not right at all. I'm sick and tired of all these people thinking they know what's right for video gamers!
Mike: (wiping his mouth, comes back on screen) If you're going to teach us a lesson, well you better bring your hardest ruler, hell, you'd better bring a yardstick, cuz if you don't wrap our knuckles hard enough, you might just find 'em in your face!
Joel: And than we'll kick you in the nuts. Cuz it hurts down there. I'm almost sure it's legal.
*Matthews whispers in Joel's ear*
Joel: Oh, it isn't. Damn.
Mike: No matter! Because soon enough, the PTA will be feeling these Nyrds' Revenge!
Joel and Mike walk offscreen. They then pop back on.
Joel: *to Matthews* Splatterhouse 2 marathon. You're invited.
Mike: Bring corn chips.
Off they go.
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Post by Y2Jericho on Sept 27, 2005 19:25:17 GMT -5
Life to Lifeless hits as Matt Rage walks slowly to the ring glaring at his opponent already in the ring, Jamie Noble.
Matt Rage gets into the ring
Rage unloads a series of forearms to the forehead of Noble. Noble ducks into the ropes so Rage has to back off. Noble hops out of the ring to reconsider his strategy.
Once Noble is back in the ring, he locks up with Rage, then eventually hitting a modified brainbuster on Rage. Noble then locks in an STF on Matt Rage. Rage is about to tap when he reaches out as far as he can and gets his fingertips on the bottom rope. Noble holds onto the hold until the ref makes him break it.
Rage eventually stands up and irish whips Noble into the ropes. Noble comes back and is greeted by a dropkick right to the chin knocking him down almost instantly. Rage then drags Noble over to the corner and proceeds to climb to the top rope. Noble gets up and climbs up to the top rope with Rage. Noble looks like he's going to superplex Rage but then Rage shoves Noble off the rope hitting the canvas hard. Rage realizes that Noble is laying in perfect position. Rage then leaps off the top and hits an amazing 450 Splash into a pin.
1..............2...............3!!!
Rage stands up celebrating and holding his ribs. Rage then gets out of the ring and limps slowly to the back.
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Millie D
El Dandy
Something VERY special.
I Love Glee!
Posts: 8,923
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Post by Millie D on Sept 28, 2005 0:58:15 GMT -5
Lillian- "The following match is scheduled for one fall.........first let me introduce the challenger.....From Torrance California weight unknown...Ivory!"
The crowd seems into her
"..and her opponent, from Cleveland Ohio...weight unknown..Mistress Mia!"
Mia runs out ,and before the bell can ring, spears the crap out of Ivory..knocking her down....she grabs Ivory by the head and pulls her up over her shoulders and performs the Peak! She goes for the pin fall BUT before the ref can count..Mia leaves the ring and goes for something UNDER it.....
Mia crawls back out with a 2 by 4 in her hand......she goes into the ring and stands above Ivory who is out cold and the ref is warning her and warning her but she just kicks the ref down and takes the board comes down hard on Ivory's back..splitting the board in half.....
The ref calls for the bell.....
Mia looks pissed
Lillian- " I have just been informed that this match will not continue and that the winner of this match via DQ is IVORY"
The crowd is BOOING loudly
Mia is walking around the ring LIVID and climbs out of the ring and comes back in with a microphone......
Mia puts the mic up to her mouth and you can hear her breathe deeply....
Mia-" You know....I started in this company thinking it would bring me everything i desired...a chance to show my athletic ability, the chance to fall in love and to be Women's Champion......well I did get all those but at what price?? I have been hospitalized on several occasions..I have been battered and broken and what do i get in return? A LOUSY GIMMICK THAT GOT ME NOWHERE...I LOST THE ONLY MAN I EVER LOVED AND I HAVE NOT YET ONCE BEEN GIVEN A SHOT AT THAT EWT WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP SINCE I LOST IT TO MOMMYTAKER! I have been here LONGER than most of the women in that division.....Miss Clitton, Ms. White..Ragnal...Chrysta the Ice queen..I HAVE BEEN PATIENT AND BIDING MY TIME BUT I WILL DO THAT NO LONGER!!! WHAT ABOUT MIA? WHEN IS MY SHOT AT THE TITLE???"
Crowd boos grow louder and the medics cart Ivory away..
"Go ahead and boo me....I sacrifice for you people and I get NOTHING in return.....and do you know who I blame.....( Mia looks right in the camera and says) I Blame YOU Mr. Bischoff!! You have held me back, you sign my matches, you made me get into this lousy I am crazy gimmick..I know THE fans are not supposed to know behind the scenes stuff but they are smart enough to figure out i am not crazy..i am PISSED! I am tired of you overlooking me! I am sick of staying in hospitals....its like YOU do not care! The only person in this business who did care..the ONLY people I should say were Psychoape, Heidendorf , and the only man i ever LOVED..MERC!"
"NO Mr. Bischoff I am not quitting this company....I want everything set back right and i will reek havoc until it is!! SO do what you want to do with me..bring it on because the time has come.....NO more Ms. Nice MIA!!"
Mia drops the Mic and leaves the ring......
tbc
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Post by pta on Sept 28, 2005 4:16:31 GMT -5
Principal Pain and Canceler are back again in their locker room, Pain smiling supiciously, wearing his traditional suit and reading glasses. Behind him is a bunch of Video Game Memorabilia, including Copies of Various Video Games, a bunch of stuffed dolls of various characters, and pretty much any system nerds drool over. Canceler is standing next to the pile... simply watching Pain.
Pain: Good evening Nyrds. I see that you didn't like our little display, when we destroyed one of those... PRECIOUS... peices of junk you refer to as a... Nintindo Ds... and we heard your responses as well. So you think that you can beat the EWTs longest UNDEFEATED Tag Team? We may have lost singles matches... and battle royales. However, when it comes to Tag Team competition, we go together as well as... oxygen and hydrogen.
The crowd can be heard chanting Pain sucks in the background.Pain simply ignores them
Pain: Now you may be former champions, but well... let's face it. THat was a fluke, thanks to one " psychoape's " BRILLIANT booking talents. And to make matters worse, you lost to the makeshift team of Limey and HBH. So if yo ucan't ahndle two guys who got stuck together, who will beat you next? The team of Paul Podanski and Carl Guerrero? How about Mad Matt Rage and Les e Biase? Even Oceanic and Sum Guy could beat you Micheal and Joelson.
The crowd continues booing. Pain turns around, grabbing a Mario Doll from behind the pile of Video Game Stuff.
Pain: So, if you really want to take us on... not only will we maintain our undefeated streak and get a step closer to the tag team titles. We will tear you Nyrds to pieces... just like The Canceler will to do your little idol here...
He hands it over to Canceler who immediately tears the Mario Doll's head off with his bare hands, ripping the stuffing out of it's body and pretty much destroying the doll completely. Pain laughs evilly as he watches The Canceler, the crowd booing even more now. Pain then points to the pile behind them and the two start taking turns destroying everything in it, including a Nintendo, an Atari, a copy of Contra, a Limited Edition Cartridge of Zelda " Ocarina of Time ", and among othjer things, all in under a minute. Pain turns back to the camera, straightening his tie.
Pain: Now then boys, be sure to watch our match... wait... REMATCH... with the New Age outlaws this week... you might learn something.
The Toomitron screen shuts off and we go to a commercial for some fast food joint.
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Sept 28, 2005 5:48:01 GMT -5
*Party Starter hits & Spaz makes his way to the ring.*
RA: From Sydney, Australia, Weighing in at 216lbs Spaz!!
*The crowd pops as he rolls into the ring & throws up his sign to the Spazphiles.*
*Some music hits & Orlando Jordan appears. He gets booed big time as he heads to the ring.*
RA: From Richmond VA, Weighing in at 250lbs Orlando Jordan!!
*The bell rings & OJ & Spaz trade punches OJ grabs Spaz & tries to lift him but Spaz blocks it. Spaz smashes OJ down with a forearm. Oj is up quickly but is holding his head. Spaz grabs him & hits a Belly To Belly Overhead Suplex. He goes for a cover.*
1 2 NO!
*OJ kicks out. Both men get up & OJ looks to hit Spaz. Spaz ducks & grabs OJ. The crowd know what is coming & they rise. 1 german, 2 germans, 3 germans bridged into a pin.*
1 2 ROPEBREAK!
*OJ is close enough to get a foot up. Spaz lifts OJ to his feet but OJ is foxing & he knocks Spaz down with a clothesline. Spaz bounces up quickly & grabs OJ. Spaz hits a Full Nelson Slam & jumps up he signals to the crowd the end is near as OJ struggles to his feet. He grabs OJ but he fights out with a Swinging Neckbreaker. Spaz is a little stunned & he is sitting up. OJ heads to the Turnbuckle OJ climbs up & as Spaz rises to his feet OJ jumps. Spaz is read though & he dropkicks OJ right on the chin as he is in mid air. Spaz signals enough is enough & lift OJ up. He hits The Shockwave.*
1 2 3!
RA: Here is your winner, Spaz!
*Spaz grabs a mic.*
S: I know you all saw Crap-a-mania II. You all saw the battle royal. I was the last eliminated by Eddie Omega. I know he won it fair but I know that one on one I can take him. So Eddie I hope you accept this challenge. Eddie Omega v Spaz for the OX Division Title!
*The crowd pop as Spaz heads to the back.*
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Sept 28, 2005 6:20:03 GMT -5
*We are at the car park in the back as a Taxi races in and brakes hard, Big and Curly exit and the Taxi races off into the night!*
CURLY: HEY, I havn't paid you! . . . ah well he knows where we are . . .
*Big lifts up Curly and they walk into the backstage area*
(fade out)
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Post by Oceanic on Sept 28, 2005 10:08:14 GMT -5
Mia is walking down the hall backstage after her match. Oceanic is walking from the other direction and they make eye contact.
Oceanic: "Get in line."
And she keeps walking.
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Sept 28, 2005 11:44:41 GMT -5
*Going Under is playing as Linda walks out to the ring wearing the GND title around her waist.
LILLIAN: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making her way to the ring, she is the EWT Girl Next Door Champion…The Ocean’s Beauty, Linda RAGNAL!
*Madusa's music plays as she enters and heads to the ring.*
LILLIAN: And her opponent...MADUSA!
*Madusa gets into the ring and is immediately met with a series of punches from Linda, and the bell rings. Linda whips Madusa into the ropes and hits her with a swinging neckbreaker. Linda bounces off the ropes for a Lionsault, but Madusa rolls out of the way and gets up. Linda lands on her feet and runs after Madusa. Madusa tosses Linda over the ropes and onto the floor outside the ring. Mdusa gets out of the ring and whips Linda towards the steel steps, but Linda counters the whip and whips Madusa into the steps, damaging her shoulder. Linda grabs Madusa by the head and tosses her back into the ring. Linda gets to the top rope and hits the Down Pour on Madusa and goes for the pin.*
1!2!3!
*The bell rings and Linda is handed the belt. She asked for a mic and is handed one by Lillian.*
LINDA: Apparently I have a few sour pusses in the back who are pissed with the fact that I won this belt before them. Well, you know what? Oceanic, Mia...the both of you want this belt so badly, I DARE you to come after me any time of the day!
*Linda drops the mic and heads backstage.Fade to black.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Sept 28, 2005 11:59:46 GMT -5
*Toomi Bischoff packs up his briefcase with paperwork & walks out the door.*
Marc Lloyd: Mr. Bischoff, sir....where are you going?
TB: On vacation. F*** all this whining. Let them run it themselves & see what happens.
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ape
Unicron
Aunt Blabby Tells All.
bea wants all you sweathogs to take a look at what a REAL man is supposed to look like
Posts: 3,223
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Post by ape on Sept 28, 2005 16:23:00 GMT -5
*as test makes his way to ringside, psychoapeguy sneaks up behind him with a lead pipe and cracks him upside the skull. he then picks test up and hurls him into the ring. ape climbs to the top turnbuckle, looks at the audience and nails a diving headbutt. the referee rings the bell for the match to begin and psychoapeguy picks test upand drives him down to the mat with an sto. with test on the mat, ape grinds his knuckles in the soft spot underneath test's ear. within a few seconds, test taps out from the pain. the referee goes to raise ape's hand, but ape pulls away and slides out of the ring. he heads towards the back*
***
*backstage, mean gene interviews psychoapeguy*
gene - ape, that submission maneuver you used on test...what in the world is it?
ape - ...hehe...it's another lovely move i've added to my arsenal...hehe....you see...you can't hurt people...and be hurt as often as i have....without knowing...hehe...where it hurts the most...there is a soft spot under your ear...if you apply pressure to it, you'll feel a dull pain hehe...apply a lot of pressure to it...hehe...and you'll do what poor ol' test did out there...you'll scream in agony...hehe...and give up.
gene - do you have a name for this move?
ape - ....hehe....as a matter of fact, i do...hehe...i call it the sadism...hehe...'cause i'm the only sick freak sadistic enough to come up with it hehe...
gene - i don't know if you've noticed, but the fans are taking a liking to you again after the respect you showed d-boy at the ppv.
ape - ....you know what, gene?....hehe...i don't say this much....but i feel as if i need to apologize....hehe...you see...mr. bischoff stabbing me in the back....hehe...it made me go a little crazy...he was my only friend, gene...hehe...and to have him do that....it made me think the fans would do the same....hehe...but they didn't....despite what i said...hehe...they still chanted my name...it feels....nice....hehe.....so nice....that i'm going to have to spill some blood for them the next time i enter that ring.....or....i could spill some right now...
*ape pulls out a screwdriver from his pocket and holds it an inch from gene's face*
gene - ...well, actually, i think i should be going...
*gene runs out of the camera's view...ape looks into the the camera and gives a sinister smile as the camera cuts away.*
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Post by scbg on Sept 28, 2005 17:17:34 GMT -5
The door to Toomi Bischoff's office is slightly cracked open. Rick Raskall and Marcus Trunk are walking down the hall, and notice the open door. Raskall peeks inside.
Raskall: Mr. Bischoff?
No answer. Raskall opens the door a bit wider.
Raskall: Ohh, Mr. Bischoff?
Toomi Bischoff is gone.
Raskall: Well, looks like Mr. Bischoff has taken a temporary leave of absence. C'mon Trunk, let's take care of the place while he's out.
Raskall and Trunk enter the room. In the corner is a desk, with a leather couch next to it. A picture of Toomi Bischoff hangs on the wall.
Raskall: Well, might as well make ourselves comfortable.
Raskall plops down on the couch and puts his feet up. Trunk seats himself behind the desk in Bischoff's comfy leatherbound chair. He parks his feet on the desk.
Raskall: Wow, I'm already bored. Can you imagine what that guy does in here all day? There's gotta be something in here that keeps that guy on his toes.
Trunk starts fumbling around in Bischoff's desk drawers.
Trunk: Hey Rick! Check this out.
Trunk produces two bottles of vodka, a bottle of whiskey, and several Mad Dogs.
Raskall: Daaaaamn! No wonder he needed a break. Toss me one of those Mad Dogs.
Trunk tosses him a Mad Dog. Raskall pops the top and downs a gulp of it, wincing at first, but satisfied.
Raskall: Damn, that's good stuff!
Trunk pops a Mad Dog and chugs the whole bottle in about ten seconds.
Raskall: Jesus, big guy! Leave some for the rest of us!
Suddenly, Raskall's eyes light up.
Raskall: You know what, Marcus? I just had a brilliant idea. Round up as many chicks as you can, and tell 'em to come to Toomi Bischoff's office for a "special announcement". We's gonna have a party tonight!
Trunk exits the room.
Raskall: Hey Trunk! Get some more liquor while you're out there, too!
Raskall takes a seat in Bischoff's chair and puts his feet up.
Raskall: I so rule. Really, I do.
Commercial break
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Sept 28, 2005 20:19:26 GMT -5
*HBH and Gasoline are watching DSR's promo in the locker room*
Gas: Can you believe this guy? We try help him out and this is how he repays us? What a d***head.
HBH: Ah, let him be. We have more important things to worry about.
*Rosa enters the room*
HBH: Where were you?
Rosa: I was able to catch Mr. Bischoff before he left on vacation. He granted me a match next week against any opponent of my choosing.
HBH: Are you sure you're ready for this?
Rosa: Absolutely. That b**** Carla wants to challenge me? Well I'm going to show her and the rest of the world exactly what I can do.
*Rosa walks off*
Gas: This I gotta see. *Walks off*
HBH: (to himself) Excellent. This makes things all the easier for me. After I drop the dead weight, there's nothing that will stop me from reaching the top. *walks off*
*Cut to next segment*
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Sept 28, 2005 22:32:21 GMT -5
("Poor And Weird" begins to play and everyone groans. Out comes Ultimo Chocula looking particularly thoughtful but still cocky. He enters the ring and it's promo time. Take a seat.)
UC: "Hey there, every peoples!"
Crowd: "BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
UC: "That's your answer for everything. A lot of you are probably wondering what my reaction is to.......(growls)....losing to Little Joe Raggle will be. I'll get to that in a second. First I want to expound on something I've noticed lately. It seems like a lot matches revolve around hard core rules now a days. Chairs, tables, ladders, the occasional seltzer bottle. Now why do you suppose that is? Since a lot of you have killed a majority of your brain cells gas huffing I'll tell you why. It's because this promotion is trying to push the, what we in the biz call, the (makes quotation marks with his fingers) "bad ass" type. In a vain attempt to sell T-shirts this organization is employing one note, generic, no talent, hardcore stiffs. That's why week after week we're subjected to an interchangeable, same ol' same ol', stream of who evers. I can't tell the difference between any of 'em! Can you?"
Somebody in the crowd: "Shut up you loser!"
UC: "Careful you don't fall out of your chair, sonny. Here's the reason why I brought that up. In a sad attempt to try and win over the hardcore backyard cavemen demographic, real wrestlers such as myself are forced to be thrown in the ring with chair swinging dingleberries. How am I suppose to entertain you unworthy heathens when I got some Neanderthal throwing a mail box at me? The answer is, I can't. As super rad as I am, it can't be done. You can't make chicken soup out of poo. That brings me to Raggle, that Hot Pocked selling yard tard. Windbreaker, you may think you pulled one over on me, but you are sorely mistaken. I want a rematch, but this time it will be on my terms! No chairs, no tables, no barb wire, no nothin', no kidding! Me and you, one on one, with nothing to rely on but our SKILLZ! Can you manage that, junior?"
Another fan: "You won't win!"
UC: "I got twenty bucks that says I will, cowboy! And to prove it, tonight, I will show you ding bats just how great I am against....um...(starts thinking while snapping his fingers)....that....preppy.......guy who stole my hoodie idea. Bring out the chump!"
(Mercifully AJ Style's music starts up and out he comes to a major pop. The fans go nuts as he walks to the ring. He enters, poses for the crowd, then the bell rings.
Collar and elbow tie up and AJ gets the upperhand. UC goes behind and forces AJ onto his stomach. UC slaps AJ's head and stands up laughing. AJ gets back up and they tie up again. UC steps behind AJ's legs and trips him. AJ gets back up as UC is smiling and giving him the thumbs down. For the third time they tie up and UC forces AJ back against the ropes. AJ offers a clean break then pops UC in the mouth. UC reels back and AJ keeps on him with more punches. AJ hiptosses UC down to the canvas and pelts him with a dropkick as he gets back up. UC staggers up and AJ sends him into the ropes picking up and executing a Samoan drop. AJ executes a flipping leg drop and goes for a pin that only gets him a one. AJ winds up the arm and works on it. UC stands back up and backs AJ against the ropes again. He goes for an Irish whip but AJ reverses. UC grabs the ropes to stop his momentum. AJ charges and UC back body drops him over the top rope but AJ shifts and lands on the apron. UC turns around an AJ goes for a back elbow but UC ducks, grabs AJ's head, and drives his neck across the top rope sending AJ crashing down to the concrete grabbing his throat. UC wastes no time and hits the opposite ropes and leaps over and out with a Cannonball Run laying AJ out. Let's go the guys in the booth.)
Don West: "UN-BEE-LEEEVABULLLL! I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT ULTIMO JUST DID! I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN MY LIFE! (goes into raspy voice mode) THATWASTHESICKESTMOVEI'VEEVERSEENMIKETENAY!GAAAA!GAAAA!GAAAA!!!"
Mike Tenay: "What are you talking about? He does that every week."
(Back to the action. UC gets back up and lays the boots into AJ. He picks AJ up and powerbombs him so his back hits the ring apron sending AJ crumpling back down to the ground. UC stands up on the ring apron and waits for AJ to come around. Once AJ is up UC bounces off the ropes with a split legged springboard moonsault and levels AJ again. UC slides back into the ring and gloats, doing that shining the nails and wiping 'em on your shirt gesture. AJ staggers up to the ring apron and UC meets him. UC puts AJ in a suplex position and Falcon Arrows him dead center of the ring. He only gets a two count. AJ's back is paying and UC moves in on it. UC gives him pendulum backbreaker. He turns AJ onto his stomach, pulls down the kneepad, and gives AJ the DeMento kneedrop in the back. UC tries for another pin but AJ kicks out at two. UC sends Aj into the ropes and blasts him with the Arn Anderson spine buster, holds onto the legs, and puts AJ in the Boston Crab. AJ is paying even worse but he won't tap out. After two minutes in the Crab AJ is making his way over to the ropes and eventually grabs the bottom rope forcing UC to break the hold. UC knees AJ in the back a few times then sends him into the ropes again. But AJ springboards off the middle rope, back flips, and cracks UC with a reverse DDT.
Both men are down but UC gets up first. He tries to finish AJ off but AJ elbows him in the guts. AJ gives UC a swinging neck breaker. When UC gets up AJ pelts him with a clothesline. UC gets up and AJ comes back with another clothesline, leveling him. AJ has the momentum back and scoop slams UC but hurts his back in the process. AJ tries to shake off the pain as he climbs to the top rope. The crowd is anticipating what AJ will do as he crouches on the top turnbuckle waiting for UC to stand. UC stands up and staggers around until he faces AJ. AJ leaps off with a senton but UC reverses, catching AJ on his right shoulder in mid air, leaps up, and kills AJ's back further with the Guile Backbreaker. Aj is writhing around on the mat and UC heads up to the top himself. He doesn't fool around and jumps off catching AJ with the Earth Clutch. AJ tries to fight it off but he hears something pop so he is forced to tap out.)
Garcia: "Here is your winner...........Ultimo Chocula!"
(UC lets go of AJ and pumps his fist in celebration. He goes over to the side of the ring and takes the camera way from one of the video guys and zooms right into AJ's face, who is grimacing in severe pain. Over the din of boo's you can hear UC say out loud....)
UC: "Raggle! This is your future! Snap! Crackle! Pop!"
(Ok, I'm done.)
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Post by Banned Member on Sept 29, 2005 0:51:40 GMT -5
*No Chance in Hell blares over the PA.and out walks Merc in a suit,and tie. In his right hand is a rather large metal briefcase. Merc does the Vince Strut down to the ring,and as the fans look on confused Merc gets in the ring,and takes the Mic as the music still plays.*
Merc: Alright cut the damn music. I said cut it! There thats better. Now I know what your thinking what is The Mercenary doing acting like Vince McMahon. Well I'll tell you. As you can see our general manager ToomBischoff has just up,and left us,and the inmates were left in charge. Well I just couldn't let that happen! So I went right to the board of directors here in EWT,and demanded that something be done! And wouldn't you know they liked the way I looked out for The EWT that they decided to let me Merc McMahon run the show!
*Boos fill the arena,and some trash gets thrown in the ring as Merc stands there with a smug grin on his face.*
MM: Now I will be hiring a secretary to take all complaints,but be assured that I will listen to all complaints. Now you may be wondering what I have in this briefcase.
*Merc holds up the briefcase,and walks round the ring with it.*
MM: Well at Crap-O-Mania 2 there was an incredible match for the Tri-State Title! Now I should have been in that match myself,but I had other business to tend to. This match ended with no winner being declared,and the belt torn in two. So once again with the boards approval I went,and got this!
*Merc opens the case,and pulls out a new shiny EWT Tri State title,but the nameplate has no name on it.*
MM: Now isn't this a pretty belt,but wait whats this theres no name on it. That's because I am by order of the EWT board of directors making the belt vacant as of this moment!
*The fans start to boo loudly,and chants of Tide will Turn can be heard by some,and Virgin discrimination by others.*
MM: Now I know this will not sit well with Billy,and Maelstrom, but I'm Merc McMahon dammit! And what I decide goes!
*Merc stops as crowd continues to boo.*
MM: You can all SHUT UP! Cause now I got to talk about Oceanic. Hun you got screwed yes,but get over it toughen up,and move on. Now I under stand theres a tag team of Raskall and Trunk sitting in my office. Well they better be gone by the time I get back cause I'm a very busy man. I got one last thing to say before I leave here. If any EWT wrestler goes as far as to lay a hand on me. You will be FIRED!!!!
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Sept 29, 2005 2:38:30 GMT -5
*Spaz is standing backstage with Sum Guy.*
SG: I'm Sum Guy & I mark for Tyson Tomko. I am here with Spaz, who has issued a challenge to the new OX Divison Champion Eddie Omega.
S: That's right Guy but this is no ordinary challenge. I am now officially challenging Eddie to a best of 5 series for the OX Title.
SG: Why a best of 5?
S: So we both have a chance to showcase our true talent to the fans. From what I have seen Eddie looks like he has some real talent. So what better way to showcase it then with 5 matches with the most talented guy on the roster.
SG: Well Spaz has issued the challenge. Will Eddie accept? I hope so coz these will be 5 of the best matches in EWT History.
*Cut To Commercial.*
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Sept 29, 2005 4:55:22 GMT -5
*Back in the arena and Lillian Garcia is in the ring*
LILLIAN GARCIA: The following match is for one fall . . . first from Helsinki, Finland . . weighing in at around 258 pounds . . . he is a minister for the Finland Government LUDVIG BORGA!
*Finland's National Anthem plays as Ludvig Borga heads to the ring, he poses for the crowd once inside*
LILLIAN: and his opponent, from the Aquarium, he weighs in at 287lbs . . he is MAELSTROM!
*Maelstroms entrance effects and music go off, but Maelstrom ignores his usual routine and heads straight to the ring, his half of the Tri-State Title upon his shoulder and a chair in his hand, the crowd cheers as he gets in the ring and grabs the mike, the ref tries to take the chair away but Maelstrom keeps it out of his reach*
MAELSTROM: Hey Borga, I'll be on the mike for a bit, so take a seat!
*Maelstrom sets up the chair at the side of the ring, and after a bit of persuasion Ludvig goes to sit down*
MAELSTROM: Now, while I was contemplating what vicious move I would do to Billy backstage, I couldn't help but notice that Toomi Bishoff has gone on holiday and some how Merc has got the top job! . . .
*The Crowd Boos*
MAELSTROM: . . and his first act with this power, is that he has vacated the Tri-State Title! . . . and found a shiny brand new one . . . . how convenient for him . . .
*Maelstrom paces back and forth in the ring*
MAELSTROM: Merc, don't think I can't see what your doing here! . . . your on the outside and wanted in . . . I have one half of the title & Billy unfortunately has the other half . . . You however had nothing but a title shot . . . which put you third in line for the title! . . . so you got a few directors drunk, dressed up in a suit and got the title vacated . . . well congratulations Merc . . but you still haven't beaten me! . . .or Billy . . . so as Oceanic said to Mistress Mia . . . 'Get in Line!' . . .
*Crowd cheers and chants for 'Maelstrom' can be heard*
MAELSTROM: No doubt you have some big plan to solve the vacated title Merc, a tournament perhaps, or a battle royal . . . of course what the worshipers of the whirlpool want is for Maelstrom to lay a beating to Merc and Billy so bad that there teeth fall out there ass! . . .
*Crowd cheers on Maelstrom*
MAELSTROM: So I'll lay it out nice and simple . . . at the next PPV a new undisputed EWT Tri-State Champion will be crowned . . . it will be Merc versus Billy Ubermark versus Maelstrom in . . . well we need a decisive match . . . a match that would show without a shadow of a doubt who the champion truly is . . . so do you two dare to step up and try to be . . . the . . . 'LAST MAN STANDING!' . . .
*the Crowd pops hugely, Maelstrom takes in the crowd response and nods . . . he then turns to Ludvig and encourages him to get back into the ring, the ref signals to the timekeeper*
*Bell Rings*
The two men tie up, which leads to an irishwhip into the ropes by Maelstrom, he attempts to hit Ludvig with a clothesline, but he ducks the shot and hits a neckbreaker! . . Maelstrom recovers quickly and they tie up again. Maelstrom eventually over powers Ludvig and hurls him into the corner. Maelstrom charges Ludvig but he moves out the way, making Maelstrom's shoulder connect with the steel post. Ludvig rolls up Maelstrom into a school boy . . .
1,2
Maelstrom kicks out, Ludvig lifts up Maelstrom and attempts a suplex, but Maelstrom blocks it and hits a few punches to the Kidney area. Ludvig lets go which allows Maelstrom to bodyslam him into the canvas. He follows with a few lefts and rights, pushing Ludvig back into the corner. This is followed with a vicious clothesline, Ludvig staggers out and straight into a big boot! Maelstrom looks down at Ludvig and shakes his head. He lifts Borga up to a vertical base, sets up for a suplex . . . VORTEX DROP!! . . Maelstrom covers . .
1,2,3.
*Bell Rings*
LILLIAN: Your winner . . . MAELSTROM!
*Maelstrom grabs his half of the title and the mike*
MAELSTROM: Billy, Merc . . . I await your response . . . THE TIDE WILL TURN!
*He raises his half of the belt and then heads to the back the fans cheering his name*
(cut to commercial)
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Sept 29, 2005 6:43:29 GMT -5
*In the locker room area Terri Runnels is looking slightly annoyed, but as she turns to the camera a happy smile appears on her face*
TERRI: Hi, I'm Terri Runnels and I have an interview with the self-proclaimed biggest star of the EWT . . . Curly Long! . . er . . . Curly?
CURLY LONG (offscreen): . .umph . . one sec Terri . .
*Sounds of something heavy and metalic being dragged across the floor can be heard, along with some grunting . . . the top of a step ladder appears next to Terri . . and then Curly's head appears as he climbs the step ladder and sits on top of it . . he turns to face Terri*
TERRI: . . . you ready? . . . and where is Mr. Big?
CURLY: .. er .. yep . . ready and willing . .
*Curly strokes his bald head, and then starts to stare at Terri's breasts*
TERRI: . . ahem! . .
CURLY: Oh . . yeah the interview . . right . . um . . Mr. Big is just organising something with some associates of mine . .
*Terri nods her head, and then notices Curly squirming on the ladder as he can't seem to sit comfortably*
TERRI: Would you like a cushion?
CURLY: . . a cushion? . . .only if your offering . .
*Curly smiles and winks, Terri rolls her eyes in disgust*
TERRI (to herself): Why me?!
CURLY: What was that?
TERRI: Oh sorry, my mike must be playing up . . . So Curly after your recent holiday in Corfu . . you have returned to the EWT . . what are your plans?
CURLY: Well Terri as always my goal is to take the EWT Heavyweight Title . . .
TERRI: Thats a bit of a lofty goal isn't it . .
CURLY: Are you implying me being 3ft shorter than DSR would stop me from becoming champion . . I beat Shawn Micheals! . . . and say how is Mean Gene . . have they managed to re-attach his nose yet? . .
*Terri begins to look concerned at where this interview is going*
CURLY: I'm the biggest thing to happen to this company! . . . and if your lucky you can join me in my locker room to see the big thing in action . .
*Terri looks horrified at the mere thought of Curly in bed, but Curly continues to talk*
CURLY: . . But I do have some proper Big news . . . Curly Long's Colossal Connection will return this week! . . thats right my show is back . . and its going to be bigger, better and probably cruder than ever before . . . and my first Guest is someone I am a huge fan of . . . he recently has been having problems with a guy who has a fetish for citrus fruit . . . some would call him a psychotic lunatic . . . others a raging beast . . . I'd call him a Misunderstood Masterpiece of Perfection . . .
*Terri waits expectantly to find out who Curly Long has on his show*
CURLY: My guest will be . . . . Flex Magnificent!!
*Just at that moment Mr.Big appears Laptop in hand and presses a button . . . . the windows fanfair sound plays . . *
TERRI: No expense spared I see . . . well I'll look forward to seeing it . . . thank you Curly . . now back to you at ringsid . .
*Curly has taken the laptop from Big and is getting excited about something on the screen*
CURLY: Mmmm . . i'd love to be with her . . . wow thats a big cucumber . . . hey Big is that an Aubergine . . .ooh I didn't know doing that made such a mess?
TERRI: . . er . . what are you doing?
CURLY: . . well if you must know . .
*Curly swivels the laptop so the screen faces Terri, she takes one look . . . holds her neck like she's about to be sick . . . and then quickly runs off . . Curly has a bemused look on his face?*
CURLY: What? its just a cookery video for a vegtable pie . . .
*a womens moan is heard coming from the laptop, Curly swivels it back*
CURLY: . . . oh . .hehe . . I forgot to clear the playlist . . . hey is that Mina? . . . this is nasty . . . Great! . . quick Big take me to my locker room . . .I need some private time . .
(the scene fades out)
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Post by Oceanic on Sept 29, 2005 8:33:32 GMT -5
Todd Grisham: "Hello everyone, I've got Oceanic here and I'm going to ask her the questions that's on everyone's mind. At Crapamania, you got screwed once again out of a title shot for the GND title. Now Clitton has officially retired giving you no chance for payback. What are you feeling right now?"
Oceanic: "I have never been this pissed off in my life. I earned that title shot and it's been taken away from me. Now I have to start all over again."
Todd: "Of course your friend, Linda Ragnal was crowned the new champion. Do you think she earned it?"
Oceanic: "First of all, she's not my friend any more. As far as I'm concerned she's just another pretender. Secondly, she didn't earn that title shot. It was simply given to her like it was a box of hand me downs. So instead of the GND title receiving any long deserved credibility, it's in even worse shape than before."
Todd: "What about the announcement that Toomi Bischoff has left the EWT?"
Oceanic: "Don't let the door hit you."
Todd: "Finally, you had a small run in with Mia. What was that about?"
Oceanic: "Mia thinks she deserves a GND title shot when all she's done the last four months is get involved in the sappiest love triangle this side of a cheesy soap opera. Now she thinks she deserves a title shot? Based on what? She was a former champion? She's been in the EWT longer? Where was Mia when Hillary wasn't defending the title? Where was she when nobody gave a crap about the Women's Division? Where was she when all this federation had to constitute a women's division was a bunch of siliconed bubbleheaded strippers? I'll tell you where. She was getting outsmarted by a cheese sandwich. Mia no more deserves a shot at the belt than that charlatan Linda. If it wasn't for me, nobody would be tuning in to watch the Women's division and the GND belt would still be around the spare tire of Hillary Clitton. I earned that title shot and it was viciously taken away from me. I'm not letting anyone do that to me ever again."
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on Sept 29, 2005 8:34:07 GMT -5
*"RIP" hits, and Limey hits the ring, wearing his brand new "Prepare for life....to give you LIMES" T-Shirt" (Made by Ragnalshirts inc.). Carla O Woe follows him, and the two throw up the horns and pose at the top of the entranceway. Limey and Carla then slide into the ring and both throw up the horns on adjacent turnbuckles. Limey grabs the stick, and then hands it to Carla.*
Carla: For those of you that don't know me, my name is Carla Olivia Woe. I am trained my whole life to be a wrestler. Not a Diva, not a Nitro Girl, not a model or part of a 13-year old fanboy's fantasy, no. I have trained to wrestle, to FIGHT. And I want everyone to keep that in mind, ESPECIALLY ROSA.
*The crowd "ooohs" at the sound of this.*
Carla: You see, Rosa, me and Limey? We're a team. We're the yin-yang of professional wrestling. Anyone who messes with me answers to Limey. And vice-versa. You have been trash-talking Limey for too long now! When I was hospitalised, all I could think about was two things. One was to scar the face of that steroid-abusing musclebound sadistic sexist xenophobic PIG, Flex Magnificent!!!! And the other was to shut your big fat mouth. You see, Rosa, unlike your man, it's beneath Limey to hit a woman, but I'm a different story. You want me? You're going to damn well get me!!! It's on, b****!!!
*The crowd pops wildly. Carla hands the stick to Limey.*
Limey: And as far as Gasoline is concerned....well...you know something? That Powerbomb can REALLY take it out of a guy. While I don't doubt your abilities, I really pity you. I mean, look at you, man! One of the largest superstars in EWT, and all you do is act as the ultimate brown-noser. Well, you know something? I would be honoured to knock the crap into you until you begin to understand!!! Bret doesn't care about either you or Rosa, and until you get that through your thick, gullible little skull, you're on my hit list. Remember, Gas. Until you figure out your true place in life, life will give....YOU....L...
*African drums play over the titan-tron, and Kamala comes out, handled by Kimchee. Kamala gets into the ring and slaps his belly around a bit. The Headshrinkers theme plays, and Sika is out. He gets into the ring, and the impromptu match is underway.
Limey throws the stick to the ground, and motions for both wrestlers to "bring it". Carla pats Limey on the back for luck, then rolls out of the ring. Kamala and Sika look at each other for a moment, then they both charge at Limey with a double clothesline. Limey ducks this, bounces off the ropes, and then hits both wrestlers with a lying lariat. Sika is first up, and Limey hits him with a belly-to-belly, sending Sika flying, and making him roll out of the ring when he hits the mat.
Limey throws up the horns, but is then hit with a double-axe-handle to the back by Kamala. Kamala pulls Limey's brand-new T-shirt off his back, and then inspects it. Kamala tries to put on the shirt, but Limey quickly gets to his feet, and pulls the shirt right over Kamala's face, tying it in a knot. Kamala runs around in confusion and blindness, swiping at thin air. Limey observes this, and as Kamala runs blindly towards Limey, Limey hits Kamala in the face with a straight punch to the crowd's amusement.
Sika is back into the ring, and as Kimchee sees to getting the T-shirt off Kamala's face, Sika hits a backdrop to Limey. Limey gets to his feet, and tries a headbutt to Sika. This of course doesn't faze Sika one bit. Limey, annoyed, tries a kick to the gut followed by a DDT. Sika immediately gets to his feet. Limey gets to his feet, and is surprised that Sika is still standing. Sika chuckles deviously, and walks slowly towards Limey. Sika then points to his own face, daring Limey to hit it as hard as he can. Limey seems interested at the prospect, and bounces off the ropes, coming at Sika hard with what appears to be a clothesline....but stopping suddenly and hitting Sika with an STO instead.
Meanwhile, Kimchee has managed to free Kamala of the T-shirt wrapped around his face, courtesy of a pair of scissors. Kamala runs at Limey, and Limey instinctively hits an armdrag on Kamala, hitting Kamala with a dropkick as he gets to his knees. Sika grabs Limey from behind with a sleeper, but Limey immediately hits a whippersnapper onto Sika. As Sika stumbles around, clutching his neck, Limey gets to his feet, and throws up the horns for a huge pop. Sika turns, and is met with a kick to the gut, followed by Limey lifting up Sika, hitting the TWIST O' LIME!!!!! Sika is down and out, but Kamala is getting to his feet. Limey goes for the pin on Sika as Kamala realises what is happening.
1, 2...
Kamala goes for a splash on Limey, but Limey moves out of the way, and KAMALA SPLASHES HIS OWN PARTNER. As Kamala is looking around, mumbling in a confused manner, Limey grabs Kamala, and kicks him in the gut, lifting him up, and connecting with a second TWIST O' LIME!!! Limey goes for the cover.
1, 2, 3!!!
WINNER: Limey (And the Heartbreak Hitman, Bret Micheals).
*As Limey celebrates, Carla gets into the ring, and the two throw up the horns. However, they get met with a surprise attack from behind by Gasoline and Rosa!! Rosa throws Carla into the corner and begins pounding on her with furious right hands. Meanwhile Gasoline kicks Limey in the gut and lifts him up for a Jacknife powerbomb, but it is countered by Limey with a hurricanrana, which sends Gasoline, sliding out of the ring. Limey approaches Rosa, and grabs hold of her, spinning her around to face Limey. Rosa, shocked by Limey's appearance but regaining her composure, gets annoyed, and screams "WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?" at him. She shoves Limey, and Limey, pushed back a bit, starts to chuckle. Rosa demands that Limey fight back, and Limey, still amused, laughs out long and loud. Rosa, confused by this, screams "WHAT THE HELL IS SO GOD-DAMNED FUNNY??". Limey sighs, and points behind Rosa. Rosa turns, and is hit with a SWEET CHIN MUZAK FROM CARLA!!! As Rosa is down, Carla and Limey "High five", when Carla notices something wrong. Gasoline is right behind Limey, and he doesn't realise it. Carla instinctively shoves Limey to the floor, and Gasoline hits a thunderous clothesline onto Carla!! Gasoline looks down at Carla, then shrugs, and turns. Limey is to his feet, and he tries a dropkick, but Gasoline slaps Limey's feet away, sending Limey to the floor. Gasoline then waits for Limey to get up, and grabs him by the throat, trashtalking him for a while, before setting him up and hitting the JACKKNIFE POWERBOMB on Limey. With Limey down, Gasoline picks up Limey's tag belt, and drapes it over Limey, declaring "Borrowed time" to him. Gasoline then slides out of the ring, and supports Rosa, still feeling the blow of the Sweet Chin Muzak, to the back.
FIN.
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Post by scbg on Sept 29, 2005 9:43:12 GMT -5
Cut to Toomi Bischoff's office. There are balloons, streamers, and fine women and liquor everywhere. Rick Raskall stumbles around wearing a lampshade on his head.
Raskall: Hey, Trunk! Can I throw a party or what!
Marcus Trunk is sitting on the leather couch, a woman in each arm and a beer in each hand.
Raskall: These EWT boys don't know what they're missing! Let's get a couple of those guys in here to enjoy the party! C'mere, girl!
Raskall grabs one of the women and takes here into a nearby closet.
Commercial break
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