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Post by whoopdeedoo on Oct 1, 2005 11:40:39 GMT -5
[Self Esteem by the Offspring hits and WDD walks down to the ring, looking tense. He hops into the ring, where Samoa Joe is waiting]
Joe chops WDD several times in the chest, then sends him into the turnbuckle. Joe dashes at WDD, but WDD puts his feet up, knocking Joe back. WDD flips himself up onto the top rope, and leaps onto Joe's head, giving him a tilt-a-whirl DDT. WDD hops up, Shawn Michaels style, and poses for the crowd. He goes for a pin but only gets 2.
WDD pulls up Joe and kicks him in the gut, WDD goes to the ropes and goes for a bulldog, but Joe turns around and powerslams WDD into the mat. He goes for the pin, but gets 2. Joe pulls up WDD only to kick him down again. He does this several times, then goes for the pin but only gets one this time.
Joe gets a cobra clutch locked on WDD, but WDD manages to get to the ropes. WDD pulls himself up, using the ropes. Joe charges at him, but WDD gets out of the way and lowers the ropes, sending Joe flying to the outside area. WDD waits for Joe to get up, and then hits a suicide dive through the ropes, the ref begins his count. Both men are down (1) outside. A long space of time passes (2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
WDD staggers to his feet and gets into the ring (7). Joe gets up to his feet as well, and lurches to the ring (8). Seeing his chance, WDD flies, full force, at the ropes and hits a baseball slide, taking out Joe (9). After a few more seconds the ref counts to (10) 10.
Winner via Countout: WDD
WDD: [Grabs a mic] Now would you look at that. Not only did I defeat one of the best wrestlers in the game today, but I also won clean too. No cheating, no interference. Would ya believe it? But that's not my point. My point is, that I am so dominant, so masterful and talented in the ring, that the very man that stood between me and greatness, Curtrok, has decided to "hang up his boots" instead of facing me. Well Curtrok, guess what. I'll leave the door open for you, and then, as soon as you show up, I'll slam that door in your face! You had your chance to face me like a man, and you chickened out. Oh, and JZ? Pretty soon, you're going to see, just like I did, that the Triple Threat and Curtrok will hold you down, just as it did for me. Have fun.
[WDD drops the mic and leaves the arena]
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Oct 1, 2005 12:09:43 GMT -5
(Terri Runnels approaches Ultimo Chocula's dressing room door looking for an interview.)
Terri: "Hi everyone. As you've heard Ultimo has challenged Joe Ragnal to a rematch with no stipulations. It won't be hardcore rules, cage rules, or any other kind of gimmick. Just straight up honest wrestling. Let's see if we can get a word with him."
(Terri knocks on the door. From behind the door we hear UC...)
UC: (in Jack Tripper doctor voice) "Eeeeeee-yeeeeeeeessss?"
Terri: "It's me! Terri! Can you do an interview?"
UC: "Umm...hold on! I'm not decent! I just took a shower! One minute!"
(Behind the door you can hear some banging around, like someone is stumbling over furniture. Terri turns away from the door and waits patiently for UC to come out. Finally he does and he's practically naked except for a pair of Chuck Taylors and Bob McKenzie "Canada" touque. Terri turns around and freaks.)
Terri: "Oh jeez! Cover yourself up!"
UC: "What? I thought you were still on the shower kick!"
Terri: "I told you already! I did that to Billy Ubermark as a joke! Now go put some pants on!"
UC: "Ok, ok. Hold your horses. Sheesh."
(As UC goes back into the dressing room Terri can't help but glance down. Her eyes get big and she lets out a peep. After the door shuts she addresses the home audience.)
Terri: "..........in case you were wondering, God made up for his personality."
(UC comes back out from the dressing room with pants on.)
UC: "So what do you want to know?"
Terri: (tries to get the image out of her head and snaps back to reality) "Ummm....right! So, you made the challenge to Ragnal for a rematch. Do you think you can beat him this time?"
UC: "I could have beat him last time! But Raggle, being the no talent hack he is, had to throw in the hardcore stipulation. Sure, I whipped his butt from here to Pakistan, but when you give a guy a weapon to swing around like some cave man, that takes any skill out of it, and any old schmuck can win a match that way. This time it will be simply one on one with only our skill to rely on. I've got skeelz coming out my ears! Raggle, the only thing he's got coming out of his ears is wax buildup! Listen up, Windbreaker! Do you really think you can hang with me on a pure talent basis? I don't think so! The fans don't think so! None of the boys in the back think so! Terri doesn't think so either, do you?"
(UC looks at Terri but she is spacing out and biting her lower lip. UC snaps his fingers a few inches from her face and she snaps back to reality.)
Terri: "Kielbasa! Wait.....what were you saying?"
UC: "I said that Little Joe won't win next time. Where were you?"
Terri: "Ummmm....I was listening. That was a good promo. Really. I gotta go."
(Terri suddenly turns around and leaves. UC just stands there for a second then turns to the camera.)
UC: "So a duck walks into a bar and sits down on a stool. The bartender walks over to him and asks "What'll it be?" and the duck says "Got any grapes?" and the bartender says...."
(The camera cuts off and goes to the next segment.)
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Oct 1, 2005 14:18:48 GMT -5
*The scene is set for the next segment. It is Curly’s Colossal Coliseum!! The camera is panning on the entranceway as we hear the sinister version of the "Only Way Up” by M-People pumping out the PA as we see Mr. Big enter through the curtain with Curly on his shoulders. Curly has a grin on his face and microphone in his hand. The set is right next to the entrance way featuring a bunch of Roman columns set up with 3 chairs & a TV screen shaped like the outline of breasts between them. Mr. Big sets down Curly as he grabs the mic, the crowd already beginning to boo the pair.*
CURLY LONG: Thank you, Thank you I don't have time for autographs . . . not that I'd actually write any of you shorties one . . but because me and Big are even more Important now . . . Yes thats right, the EWT is under new management until the head honcho Toomi B gets back . . . but enough about my own personnal gains . .
*Curly scratches his ear and flicks the contents into the nearby audience, while Mr.Big arms folded looks out acroos the arena*
CURLY LONG: Its time for the highlight of the week . . yes thats right . . . the biggest show on earth! . . .Curly Long’s Colossal Coliseum is BACK & here to stay!!!
*The fans immediately erupt into a “Die, Curly, Die!” chant.*
CURLY: The only thing dyed here is your 50-year old mother’s coochy hair between my teeth! Oooooh!
*Curly & Big slap each other 5 for the comeback. The fans begin chanting, “VLB! VLB! VLB!”*
CURLY: Since my return back all the rumors & tall tales about Curly Long are true! And let me tell you this....The tales aren’t the only thing TALL about me! Haha.
*The fan continue to chant, “VLB! VLB! VLB!”*
CURLY: Yeah I am a Vile Little Bastard, deal with it! . . . but as much as I like to talk the talk I can walk the walk aswell, unlike some people around here . . . You know Big I hear You Gene drinks out of a straw and can't walk these days . . . hehe . . hehe . . .
*The crowd boo's the pair ferociously, but Curly continues on*
CURLY: So if you cross me and my man here, we'll make sure you become the latest casualties visiting the disabled wing of the local hospital! . . . Trunk'n'Raskall you have been warned!
*Mr. Big crunches his knuckles, while Curly continues to talk*
CURLY: Now since this dump is under new management, in other words my management. I made sure to brighten up this urine soaked Bingo Hall & make it more presentable with this brand new set & this brand new screen I like to call....Curly’s Boob Tube! Check it out! . .
*Curly starts to fondle the TV set as Mr. Big reminds him he has an interview to conduct*
CURLY: Oh yeah . . . . & not only am I trying to make this place more presentable, but I’m also trying to make this place more......magnificent!
*The fans already know what this means & they already change from “VLB” chants to “HE CAN’T WRESTLE!” chants.*
CURLY: With that being said my guest tonight is one of the few men that I look up to! AND I use that phrase very sparingly! . . . In fact I recently ordered his fitness workout routine . . . and suffice to say it has done wonders! . . .
*Curly stands up on his chair and removes his shirt and begins to flex and do Lex Luger type poses, the audience gives a digusted 'oooohhhh'*
CURLY: Impressed? I knew you would be . . . Now the man who is about to walk out here is a man who was ROBBED out of the EWT World Tag Team Championships this past Monday at Crap-a-Mania II. He is also the man who was brutally humilated by that no-talent citrus fruit loving sack of crap, Limey. He is the man you ALL should be throwing flowers at when you see him & thanking your God that he hasn’t stolen your woman & your livelihood . . . Of course he never stole my woman . . . but I don't think he's into my kind of dirty night under the sheets . . .
*The Crowd chants 'VLB' even louder as Curly eggs them on by spitting on some of the audience members near the stage*
CURLY LONG: Nonetheless, He is what I call the Misunderstood Master of Perfection......He IS THE GENETIC SUPERMAN!!! He is the ONE........ the ONLY......FLEX MAGNIFICENT! SHOW YOUR RESPECT TO HIS MAGNIFICENCE!!!!
*The lights dim as we no longer hear “Hallelujah!” but in it’s place is a more deary classical peice. It’s “The Lonely Man - AKA The Sad Walking Away Theme from The Incredible Hulk.” There is now choir. The Flexettes are gone. But ”The Doctor of Muscletology” Dr. Frederick Delavier walks out in a black tracksuit with an grim yet angry look on his face. The camera pans on his face as he rips off in a rage the entrance way curtain to reveal the NEW Flex Magnificent.*
*His cape is now a brand new black rhinestone cape that is made to look like it’s in rags, but in fact it was obviously made to look that way. His boots are black, his tights are black. And as for his face..........*
*He’s now wearing a potato sack over his head with eye holes!!!!*
*The fans are shocked & continue to boo him as he makes his way to Curly’s Colossal Coliseum.*
CURLY: Oh my God! What happened, Flex? Is the damage that bad? . . I hope its not as bad as my ex's injuries at the hands of a cheese-grater . . .
*Mr. Big who like the audience had been struck by Flex's appearence, turns to Curly and raises his eyebrows quizically*
CURLY: Hey, she said she wanted to do it in bed with some food, it was dark, faces, lumps of cheese feel so simlar in the dark under the sheets . . . it all got a bit messy after that . .
*Mr.Big shakes his head in disbelief at Curly's latest sordid story. Meanwhile Flex & Delavier have taken their seats as Dr. Delavier with tears beginning to stream down his face begins to try to talk Flex out of doing the appearance. Flex nods him off & takes the mic. He looks as if he will begin to talk but he is having trouble.*
CURLY: Flex.....I don’t know what to say......Is there anything......
Dr. DELAVIER (holds Flex’s hand with the mic & speaks into it): Please....give him time. It’s been a rough several days.
*Flex waves him off & Dr. Frederick Delavier backs off & let’s Flex speak.
There is an awkward silence throughout the bingo hall.
..............
Flex speaks!*
FLEX MAGNIFICENT (in a voice that sounds as if he’s been recently crying): Evuh....since Crap-uh-Main-ya Doo.....I have........not been able do live a nomal funchuning.....life. (sobs a bit) Wut Limey did do me at Crap-a-Main-ya Doo was sumting I thought he did not have da guts do do. What he did was something I coul’ nevuh imagine happuning. Why dere were no officials is beyond me. Why Toomi did nah’ suspend Limey is beyond me. Whyyyyy.....WHYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
*Flex begins grabbing at his face*
CURLY: This is the most terrible, tragic thing I have been a witness too.....I can’t believe it......
FLEX: BELIEVE IT!!!! Since dat day my life has been abolished.....I have no life.....De people of my own countree......Dey treat me like some uh freak circus guy.....In fact I huve brought a video of my “welcome back” do Nuremberg dis past week. My face as it is is blurred out from view as do not show the hideous repulsive image dat lies beneath dis sack.
CURLY: Could we please cue up the video.....
*The video begins on Curly’s Boob Tube as it transfers covering the entire camera shot.*
The setting is in a black & white world like it was some sort of surreal arty movie with only a few black props in front of a white wall. A title appears “ABANDONMENT.” Flex with his face blurred out walks into the set with his wrestling attire on as he is approached by a Deter from SNL’s “Sprockets.”
Deter: Obsolete.
FM (camera shot pans above his head as Flex looks up with his hands raised): NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
The camera is focused on Deter’s monkey who is picking himself for bugs.
We now see Flex sitting down on a black cube in the “thinking man’s pose”
FLEX: Abandonment........
All of a sudden laughter is heard throughout as we now see a grown man with a balding head, glasses, & a suit who is laughing a Flex. All of a sudden his suit disapears & he’s wearing women’s lingerie. Now the screen is on a young beautiful woman who is laughing at Flex & then all of a sudden becomes old & continues to laugh at Flex taunting him to his face. The camera than moves to a fat German kid dressed like Uter from The Simpsons whose face is covered in chocolate. He chews on a chocolate bar & lets it spew out slowly. Along with Deter & the rest they all begin taunting Flex who is still in the “thinking man” position on a black cube.
The screen then changes to a stack of coins that turn into Ritz Crackers. Then an image of a swing swinging in the air with no one sitting in the seat. Then an image of the show “Mr. Belvedere” showing Belvedere yelling at Wesley. Then a picture of an atomic bomb going off. Then a pair of lips appear.
The Lips: Abandonmeeeeeeeeeent.
*The sound of rain is heard as the credits to this supposed home made film role by. And it is directed by Franz Hendermeich. The film ends & we return to the set*
CURLY: Wow....Is Germany really like that?
FLEX: You see dis is my reaction from my own countrymen & women....Limey, you have turned me into something less den magkneeficent. You took upon yourself to make a good spirited rustling match & make it a game of death. You tried to end my rustling career you heartles....ugh......
*Dr. Delavier calms down Flex who is getting a bit upset. Flex composes himself & resumes the interview.*
CURLY: Now this next question is going to be a sensitive topic but it has to be asked . . . . the journalistic communtiy would look down on me otherwise . . . But may I see what your face looks like?
Flex looks at Dr. Delavier.*
Dr. DEVALIER: Flex, you do not have to!
*Flex pushes him back, grabs the mic & stands up*
FLEX: YES! Herr Curly...You & your associate may see....BUT NOT THESE FANS!!!!
*The fans nail Flex with enormous boos telling Flex that the feeling is mutual.*
CURYL: OK . .
*Curly looks up and realises that even on his chair he can't get to eye level with Flex, he beckons Mr.Big over*
CURLY: Big! Help me up . . .
*Mr. Big picks up Curly. Flex puts his back towards the camera as he whips off the potato sack revealing to Curly & Big his horribly mutated face!!!*
*Curly & Big look at it....Then they look at themselves in confusion....Then they look at each other again.*
CURLY: Uuuuh...Is that it? It looks like it’s scabbi.......
*Flex quickly puts back on the sack & grabs Curly’s mic before he can say anything.*
FLEX: Herr Curly has seen my horrors!!!! NOW YOU LIMEY! HAVE YET TO SEE THE GREATEST HORROR OF THEM ALL!!!! YOU TRIED DO TAKE MY CHANCE AT GOLD AWAY! YOU EVEN TRIED TO TAKE MY RUSTLING CAREER AWAY!!! You triiied BUT WHAT IS LEFT OF ME IS STILL HERE! LIMEY! If you thought what I did do at No Rest For The Wicked was bad...think again. If you think what I did do Carla was bad....think again. If what I did at Crap-a-Mania Doo wasn’t bad enough......then I will think again because dis is not ovuh Limey. Dis is not ovuh Limey!!! DIS IS NOT OVUH LIMEY!!!! DIS IS NOT OVUH LIMEY!!!! DIS IS NOT OVUH LIMEY!!!!!
*Flex keeps repeating the same line over & over & walks towards the entranceway. There’s nothing for awhile.....*
*Then Flex rips right through the Toomitron! He’s up top & rips it to shreds. He pulls down every fiber of it down totally destroying it. Flex now goes off to push down the suspension of the ToomiTron luckily some EWT officials with the help of authorities get Flex out of the entranceway.*
(With all the silence we cut out to commercial)
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Deamon Cohln
Don Corleone
AND THAT'S THE GODDAMN TRUTH!
Posts: 1,962
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Post by Deamon Cohln on Oct 1, 2005 17:41:08 GMT -5
Commercials end and the camera fades into the ring with the announcer standing in the middle of the ring with a microphone in his hand.
Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, Introducing the newest arrival to EWT. Weighing in at 187 lbs Deamon COHLN!
*Halls of Illusion by ICP hits and as soon as the intro of the song ends Deamon jumos out from backstage. He walks to the ring loose but determined and apparently he has something to say. He is in baggy black pants with a black t-shirt with a incomplete pentagram on his back and the letters D and C. He gets to the ring and hops on the side of the apron. He jumps on to the third rope and flips over the other to and into the ring. the announcer gives him the microphone and leaves the ring.*
Deamon: Hello EWT!!
*The crowd seems excited at this new prospect.*
Deamon: If you haven't realized it yet, I am the newest EWT superstar and I intend to shake some stuff up here. Now all my life I have been called too small or to light or not smart enough. Just look at me know. I have made it to the big time and no one can stop me. I have been champion of federations like EWWF, WFW, XPWA. I believe I can rise to the top here too. If you don't belive it: just get out of my way and stay in the gutter. I'm not intending on going after championship right off the bat. I'm not that kinda guy. I know I have to wittle my way up to the top. Or I can marry the boss' daughter, whatever comes first
*A faint laugh comes over the audience*
Deamon: I knew you'd get that. Anyway, I'm here, I'm ready to fight and I'll do anything to get my way to the top. AND THAT'S THE GODAMN TRUTH!
*Deamon drops the mic to the floor and raises both fists in the air as the crowd roars in support of this new superstar. The camera fades to the EWT logo and on to the next commercial.*
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Post by pta on Oct 2, 2005 7:45:40 GMT -5
" The Pain has only begun!!! "
Pomp and Circumstance immediately starts up, immediately sending the crowd into a booing frenzy as Principal Pain and The Canceler make their way down the ramp. A recently repaired Toomitron, covered with duct tape and such is seen in the background.
Announcer: The following contest is schdeuled for one fall! Approaching the ring, at a combined weight of 750 pounds, representing the P.T.A., Principal Pain and The Canceler!!!
Pain and Canceler immediately enter the ring, the crowd continuing to boo. As usual, Pain pays no attention to them. He grabs a nearby Microphone from the announcer's grip
Pain: Now pay attention Micheal and Joelson... we are going to demonstrate how to properly wrestle a match for you. In fact... I even have one of my newest pupils here to commentate... and give you a bit more explanation. So... let me introduce my new Teacher's Aide... Chance Confidence!
Suddenly Heavily Classical Music of some kind starts playing as a small well dressed young man slowly walks over to the commentary table, sitting down with Tim Moss and Barry the Bling Flawler, the EWT equivalent to the WWE. He slowly sits down in between them.
Tim: Barbeque sauce! Bah gawd! Damn you to hell!!!
Barry: Puppizzles!!!
Tim: Goofier than a pet coon!!!
Chance: Shut up you twits... let me commentate on my employer's little exhibition for those unworthy Nyrds.
Suddenly the New Age Outlaws Theme Hits and Road Dogg and Billy Gunn head out to the ring once again.
Road Dogg and Audience: Oh you didn't know?! Your ass better caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall somebody!!!
The crowd gives the Outlaws a nice pop as they run and slides into the ring, but before they can do their little opening spiel, Pain and Canceler immediately go after them.
Chance: Notice how the P.T.A. caught their opponents off guard. A brilliant tactic if I do say so myself.
Tim: Take em behind the woodshed!!!
Barry: Shoooooooooooot! Where's da puppizzles homie g?!
Chance: Utter jokes you two are...
Pain immediately takes control, starting oout in the ring against Road Dogg, grabbing him for an arm wrench, starting to work on his arm. R.D screams in pain as he does so, only to get an elbow to the arm area as well. Pain smirks and turns the arm wrench into an Oriental Toss, sending the Dogg to the mat. He immediately goes down to the mat, locking in an armbar on the R.D.'s already injured arm. Road groans in pain as he tries to escape the hold, in vain.
Chance: See... that's exactly how you win matches... like the undefeated P.T.A.
R.D. groans, struggling towards the ropes, finally reaching them and forcing Pain to break the hold
Chance: And that... is what you call a cowardly tactic. I bet the Nyrds use that technique quite often in their matches.
Pain starts stomping at Road Dogg's arm to injure it further, Dogg groaning again as Pain walks over and tags in The Canceler. The huge man immediately walks over slowly to the fallen Road Dogg and leaps up with a double stomp onto his injured arm, making it hurt even further. Dogg screams in agony as Canceler lfits him up by the neck, then walks over, holding him with one arm and tagging Pain back in. As he does, Pain climbs to the top turnbuckle enarby and leaps off for a Missile Dropkick again to Road Dogg's already injured arm. Dogg screams once again in pain, as Canceler keeps him suspended, Pain going behind as he gets up and locking in a standing armbar on him as he's held. Road Dogg seems about to tap when Billy Gunn runs in and nails a Fameasser from behind on Pain, sending him to the mat. He immediately then goes after Canceler with a dropkick to his neck.
Canceler hunches over, Road Dogg escaping his grip as he and Billy Gunn run forward and clothesline the Canceler over the ropes. Gunn then holds Pain up in a full nelson as he goes for the Shake Rattle and Roll.
Chance: Hmmm... excuse me gentlemen.
Barry: Puppizzzzzzzzleeeess!!!
Tim: With Authority!!!
Chance immediately gets up and runs full speed towards the ring, just as Pain is nailed with the third punch, soon after being hosited up for a full nelson slam. Road Dogg quickly goes for the cover. 1...2...
But Chance immediately slides in to break up the count. Road Dogg gets up and stares at whoever this guy is, only to get a low blow kick and nailed with a Canadian Destroyer ( AKA Confidence Breaker ) The ref throws the match out as Pain is helped to his feet by the P.T.A.'s new teacher's aide. Canceler immediately enters the ring, as Pain nails Gunn with a low blow kick of his own, shoving him into Canceler's grip as his lifted in military press position, Pain ascending back up to the top turnbuckle and leaping off and nailing the Expulsion on Gunn. The three simply stand in the ring as Pomp and Circumstance starts back up, the crowd booing move than ever now as Confidence, Pain, and Canceler all exit the ring as we go to commercial.
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Oct 2, 2005 10:40:14 GMT -5
*Backstage in the Aquarium and Sum Guy is standing next to Maelstrom who still has his half of the Tri-State title on his shoulder, resting against a tank is a rather large heavy looking harpoon, that looks as if its been rescued from a watery grave*
SUM GUY: Hi I'm Sum Guy & I own a full size Rob Conway poster, I'm here with Maelstrom who is currently slightly annoyed with the Tri-State Title fiasco . . .
MAELSTROM: Annoyed? . . . I'm far from annoyed Sum, I'm furious with whats happened recently! . . . The tide is churning and the water banks are about to break! . .
SUM GUY: Well perhaps if you just let Merc have the title . . after all he was given it by the board of directors . . .
*Maelstrom steps menacingly closer to Sum Guy*
MAELSTROM: Just let him walk away . . huh . . . let him have the gold after doing jack for it . . . how long have you worked for EWT Sum Guy?
SUM GUY: . . er . . well lets see . . um about 7 months . .
MAELSTROM: Then you should know I don't walk away from anyone, and I certainly don't let cowards like Billy or Merc just walk away from me! . . . You fall into the Maelstrom and you will be sucked under! . .
*The Crowd chants 'Lets go Maelstrom'*
MAELSTROM: but you know something Sum Guy, its not the fact that I'm only half champion that bothers me . . .
SUM GUY: It isn't ?
MAELSTROM: No . . . Its Merc's total disregard for the Title, and this so called Board of Directors as well . . Imagine for a minute if all the titles were just given out . . . Christ, anyone could be champion, just because they sucked up to those in charge! . . . No, In this world you have to earn it . . and as much as I am loath to say this, Billy 'The Virgin' Ubermark did earn his title way back when he beat Moxie . . .
*The crowd boos the mention of Billy's name*
MAELSTROM: Sure he may be a whining, cheating, arrogant, gullible, small-membered, celibate Jerk . . .
*The crowd cheers again*
MAELSTROM: . . . but he has overcome just about everything that was thrown at him . . .except last week at Crap-a-Mania 2 where I took him to the Depths and back . . . but he still stubbornly held on! . . .
SUM GUY: Is that a hint of respect for your long time adversary?
MAELSTROM: Don't read too much into it Sum Guy, I still want to tear Billy limb from limb!. . .
*Maelstrom grabs the Mike from Sum Guy*
MAELSTROM: But Merc you didn't earn a God Dammed thing! . . . You saw an opportunity whilst Toomi B went on holiday and took it . . . like the petty thief you are! Even when I issued the challenge of Last Man Standing to settle this once and for all, I got no response! . . . Instead I find your going on holiday . . I caught up with you backstage and had this problem solved. . . the current flowed in the right path to truly decide on the champion. But you couldn't take it, so you then beat up The Fink and took your forged Title with you, because thats the only Gold you will ever have! . . .
*Maelstrom grabs the harpoon and steps closer to the camera, Sum Guy tries to stay in the picture but fails*
MAELSTROM: So when you do come back from your bicycle journey Merc, I'll be waiting . . . to stick this harpoon straight down your esophagus!
*Maelstrom kicks Sum Guy out of the picture *
MAELSTROM: because Merc what are you going to do with the riches that you have found? . . . . I'll Tell You! . . . Your lost at Sea, and I'm going to make sure that you Drown! . . . The Tide Will Turn!
*Maelstrom drops the mike to the ground, lifts the harpoon into a throwing pose and hurls it straight at the camera, destroying the picture!*
(Cuts to next segment)
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Oct 2, 2005 12:44:25 GMT -5
*A shot of a suitcase is seen, and is closed shut by human hands. The camera moves up to show it's Mike Ragnal packing the case.*
MIKE:And, we are packed.
JOE: Dang, I can't believe you're taking a vacation.
MIKE: I think I've earned it. Especially what I've been through.
LINDA: Please, you haven't had that much to do.
MIKE: C'mon, sis. I've had to face a virgin, an Ape named Psycho, and I did a lot of work during that match at Crapamania. I think I've earned it.
LINDA: YEah, you're right... *Hugs Mike* You be safe, okay?
MIKE: Right. Linda, you defend that title when you can. And Joe, I'd keep an eye out for Chocula.
JOE: Why? He's a freakin-
MIKE: Yeah, yeah, a loser, we hear it already. Just watch yourself, kay?
JOE: Eh,fine...*high fives Mike* You take care, meng.
MIKE:Later,guys.
*Mike grabs his suitcase and heads out of the locker room. Josh Matthews walks up to Mike.*
MATTHEWS: Mike, what are you going on vacation for?
MIKE: Just some R&R. It's not like the company's gonna fall apart after I leave the arena. Besides, it's a good way to spend some of my ten grand, yanno?
MATTHEWS: Alright, have a good trip, Mike.
*Matthews walks off, and Mike spots Billy Ubermark.*
MIKE: Well, well, Billy. Long time no see?
BU: Ragnal...haven't seen you since that match at Chained Up.
MIKE: Yeah, well, I've been busy. In fact, I'm going on vacation.
BU: No kidding. Where?
MIKE: EH, I figure Florida's good around his time.
BU: Cool. Hey, can you get any numbers for mw while you're down there?
MIKE: No problem. You want Minnie Mouse's while I'm at it?
*Billy gives a scowling look at Mike*
BU: ...Funny.
MIKE: Heh, sorry. You do good with the Tri-State title stuff, okay?
*Mike continues to walk off, and bumps into Oceanic*
MIKE: Oh, um, Oceanic. Hey.
OCEANIC: She understands I'm pissed at her, right?
MIKE: I dunno yet, she's starting to act a bit like the heel Trish. Look, I'm sorry all this happened and we're still with her, but the Ragnals have a sense of loyalty to one another.
OCEANIC: Alright, I understand. You have a good time, alright?
MIKE: Can do. And between you me...Good luck with the title.
OCEANIC: Thanks.
*Mike shakes Oceanic's hand and continues walking on.*
VOICE:Hey!
*Mike looks around*
MIKE: Um, huh? Who said that?
VOICE: Down here!
*Mike looks down and notices Curly Long standing at his leg.*
MIKE: Oh. It's you.
CURLY: Yeah, just saying have a good trip.
*Curly extends his hand for a handshake.*
MIKE: Um, if I touch you, I'm not gonna get short, am I?
CURLY: You'd be the first.
*Curly give Mike his tooth-gapped grin and walks off. Mike shivers for a second and continues to walk and meets up with Limey and Carla.*
LIMEY: Hey, Mikey, what's up?
MIKE: Hey, guys. Going on vacation. I figured it'll help me spend some of that ten grand I won from you, ya know?
LIMEY: No problem, Mike.
CARLA: You take care of yourself.
MIKE: Thanks, guys. See you around.
*Mike walks off, and Theo Rumm walks up to him.*
THEO: Hey, Mike, have a good time.
MIKE: Thanks. I guess unlike you, once in a while I can quit.
*Mike laughs, and Theo just looks at him wierd.*
THEO: I don't get it.
*Mike stops laughing for a second.*
MIKE: Er, yeah...anyway, take care.
*Mike and Theo shake hands, and Mike continues to walk off. He runs into Maelstrom.*
MAELSTROM: Hey, Mike. Going near any beaches?
MIKE: Yeah, any fish you want me to say hi to?
MAELSTROM: Nah, just wondering. Surf a tide for me, will you?
MIKE: Um...I don't surf...
*Maelstrom,looking upest, turns and walks away. Ultimo Chocula walks up to Mike.*
ULTIMO: Hey, Mike. Have a safe trip.
MIKE: Hey, no prob. Sorry about Joe.
ULTIMO: Eh, you Raggles are okay. Joe's just-
MIKE: Ragnal.
ULTIMO:Huh?
Mike: It's pronounced Ragnal.
ULTIMO: Yeah, that's what I said, Raggle.
MIKE: No,no,no. Raaaaag-null.
ULTIMO: Exactly. Raggle.
MIKE:...Ah, ferget it. Later.
*Mike continues walking and he sees Carl Guerrero. The two have a short staredown, and eventuall, Carl extends his hand for a shake, and Mike accepts.*
MIKE: Hoping for a rematch soon.
CARL: Name the time and place, esse.
*Mike heads off and is about to grab the knob on the arena door, but he stops for a second. He thinks through if he forgot anything, then turns around and walks until he reaches one of the locker rooms. He knocks on the door, and Triple H answers.*
HHH: Yeah.
*Mike kicks Triple H in the nads,then hits the Ragnalrok on him.*
MIKE: Try and make it for WWE Homecoming NOW,B****!
*Everyone else backstage applauds Mike, and Mike takes a bow, grabs his suitcase, goes outise the arena, and gets into his 1994 LeSabre, and drives off.*
FADE TO BLACK
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Oct 2, 2005 12:56:05 GMT -5
*Were backstage and Curly on Mr.Bigs shoulders are walking back to there office*
CURLY LONG: That was a great show Big, a real emotional human drama . . . I was on the verge of tears . . . that Limey is a nasty piece of work . . but Flex is quite the work of art Big . . . even by your standards you have to be impressed!
Mr.BIG: He has a good body no doubt . . . But Flex's face . . .
CURLY LONG: Well Big to be honest we only got a brief glimpse of the damage, and that looked bad enough, the bit we didn't see must be horrific . . . do you think we should send him a get well soon card? . . .
*Mr. Big shrugs his shoulders as they continue along the corridor*
CURLY: Might be a nice gesture . . .mind you destroying the Toomitron was a bit . . well extreme . . . but hey bad news is good news . . . hehe . . so now more people will tune in to my show . . to see what happens next time . . .
*The pair come up to the office and find there sign hanging off the door at an angle, Big pushes the door open.*
CURLY LONG: What the bloody Hell is this!!?
*The room is a shambles, the filing cabinet is tipped upside down, the pictures are smashed and the Fink is out cold in the middle of Toomi's broken Desk!*
CURLY LONG: The party wasn't that crazy was it Big? . .
*Big shakes his head as we find that the leather Sofa has been shredded with some sort of gardening tool. On the far wall in Blue Graffiti is the words "R & T Calling You Out!" . . . Curly hops down off Big and sits on the plush swivel chair that seemed to escape the vandalism, Big grabs a broom and starts to clear up the place*
CURLY LONG: R&T? . . . who's' that ? . . . quick Big pass me that EWT folder on current superstars . . .
*Big grabs the folder and hands it to Curly*
CURLY: . . now lets see . . . tag teams . . . R . . . hmm . . . Rainbow express . . no . . . Rockers . . nah . . .ah here we go . . . Raskall & Trunk! . . . wait, those were the guys who hit you over the head with a bottle, right Big?
*Big who has just uprighted the filing cabinet nods his head*
CURLY LONG: How dare they call us out! . . . me a megastar being called out by some new punk tag team . . . Well, the door sign does say we solve problems Big, and looks like we just found are first problem . . . They just picked a fight with the wrong person . . . but first lets sort this office out . . . I can't be a big shot with an office looking lie this . . what would Toomi say . . . quickly Big!
*Curly & Mr. Big get busy tidying the Office, The Fink begins to wake up . . . Mr. Big is about to usher him out when Curly stops him*
CURLY: Hey Finkel, could you go and take this message to Raskall and Trunk, they'll probably be unconscious in a 24 hour bar somewhere . . tell'em . . . that if they want a piece of me and Big just name the time and the place! . . .
*Fink walks out to find R & T*
Curly Long: Now Big can you post this get well card to Flex, I think theres a box outside . . .
Big grabs the card and looks at it, It is one of those rude postcards you get on holiday it seems to involve a bg breasted woman doing something to a goat and a naked man, but its blocked out mostly by Big's hand. Big goes to ask Curly if he's sure he wants to send this particular card, but then shrugs his shoulders and walks out the office closing the door behind him, he finds the post box and drops the letter in and then returns to the Office*
(fade out)
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Post by scbg on Oct 2, 2005 17:22:37 GMT -5
Curly Long and Mr. Big continue to tidy up the office, when there's a knock at the door.
Voice (outside the door): Postman!
Howard Finkel comes crashing through the window of the office. He's practically unconscious.
Curly: Holy bejesus! Somebody busted him up good!
Finkel is covered in blue spray paint.
Curly: Gee, I wonder who coulda done this? Take a look at 'im, Big.
Mr. Big rolls Finkel over. On the back of his suit jacket in spray paint: "Any Time, Any Place". The initials "R&T" are sprayed on his bald head.
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Post by scbg on Oct 2, 2005 17:54:44 GMT -5
Guns 'n' Roses' "Hair of the Dog" blasts over the PA system as Raskall and Trunk burst onto the scene. Raskall is all smiles, despite having his ribs and left bicep taped up. Trunk, as usual, scowls at the crowd.
Raskall and Trunk enter the ring.
Raskall: Well, well, well, well! Look who's back! As if we could be taken out by Mini-Me and the world's largest lump! By the way, guys, I hope you like your office. Trunk and I did you the favor of redecorating it a bit. Maybe now you guys will realize that Raskall and Trunk are for real!
Trunk: And if Mr. Big and that human rugby ball that he calls a partner want a piece of us, we're right here!
Raskall: You guys may have taken over Bischoff's office, but we still call the shots! We want the two of you to show your ugly faces in this ring RIGHT NOW!
Raskall and Trunk await the arrival of Curly and Mr. Big.
Raskall: You know what, while we're waiting for those two to waddle their fat asses out here, I just wanted to say that I watched Curly's Craptacular Colosseum, and I couldn't help but pass out from sheer boredom within the first five seconds. You guys make "Method and Red" look like Emmy-winning television! Nobody wants to see some 2-foot-nothing pervert with a voice that could peel varnish talk to anyone! Nobody goes to a show to see people talk! They come to see action! Which is what we'll get if you ever get your asses out here! Now, quit stalling!
Raskall and Trunk continue to await Curly and Big's arrival.
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DQorDie
Bubba Ho-Tep
Believe in yourself & ROCK N ROLL!!!
Posts: 635
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Post by DQorDie on Oct 2, 2005 18:41:17 GMT -5
Some sorta Arabian music hits the crowd as our next match is set to begin. The crowd is on their feet as Paul Heyman, 911, & SABU! enter the aisleway.
Gorilla Monsoon: Welcome back everybody. What a series of events we have had here since Crap-a-Mania II![/I] Limey & HBH have regained the titles & Flex Magnificent....Well....Flex Magnificent looks like the Elephant Man!
Jesse “The Body” Ventura: YOU WATCH WHO YOU’RE CALLING AN ELEPHANT, GORILLA!
The bell rings as the Fink makes the announcement.
Howard Finkel: This match is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit. Coming down the aisle with his manager Paul E. Dangerously & 911! He hails from Bombay, India. Weighing in at 220lbs! He is the Human Highlight Reel! The Most Suicidal, Genocidal, Homicidal athlete on this Earth. He is.....SABUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!
The fans ignite over Sabu’s return to the EWT.
GM: Sabu is in the building & the fans are loving him.
JV: Ya know Monsoon, after all that’s taken place after Crap-a-Mania II you think in any way shape or form that even someone like Sabu has a chance against Flex Magnificent?
GM: I don’t know, Jess. After that incredible feat of strength by Flex this past week on Curly’s Colossal Coliseum I think Limey might want to pack his bags & head out of town on the first Greyhound.
Sabu, 911, & Dangerously are all in the ring as Sabu marches around the ring ferverishly for his opponent to enter.
The Fink: And his opponent.......
The arena is quite as we begin hearing “The Lonely Man” play over the PA system as the curtain opens with only “The Doctor of Muscletology” Dr. Frederic Delavier coming out with Flex behind him in his black boots, tights, expensively made rhinestone rag cape, & now trademark potato sack with eyeholes.
The Fink: Woefully heading down the aisle with his manager ”The Doctor of Muscletology” Dr. Frederick Delavier[/I].Currently exiled from his homeland Nuremberg. Germany. He weighs in at 330 lbs of dread & contempt. With arms in length of 30 inches round, waist 38", legs 24", & at a height of 6'7". In better times he was known as The Genetic Superman[/I]. He is....FLEEEEEX.....MAAAAAAGNIFICENT![/I]
A slow procession to the ring ensues as Heyman grabs a chair & sets it up by the ropes as Sabu bounces of the opposing ropes, jumps on the chair & off onto the top ropes & glides right into Flex Magnificent & Dr. Frederick Delavier.
GM: Sabu in the air & there goes the bell. We have a match in progress!
Sabu gets up with Paul E. cheering him on. He lifts up Flex by the potato sack mask & whips him over the guardrail. He mask comes off & HIS FACE IS BLURRED OUT on the screen.
GM: You’ve gotta be kidding me. His face is blurred out on everyone’s TV screen? I can see him from here & he looks quite fine. In face I don’t see a mark on him!
JV: What do you know MONSOON?! He looks like he was in the fight of his life!
GM: He just may be with Sabu!
Flex slowly gets up & puts back on his sack mask as Sabu jumps the rail & pushes a fan aside for his chair. He throws it right at Flex’s head knocking him back down on the ground. Sabu walks around again looking for more plunder. Sabu starts harassing a fan, but in the meantime Flex Magnificent gets some much needed help from Dr. Delavier who hands him some Gold Bonds Foot Powder. Flex pours a handfull & throws it in the face of Sabu. Sabu is blinded by the healing powers of Gold Bonds!
He grabs Sabu by his greasy hair & levels him with stiff rights continuously until Sabu is on his knees. Flex proceeds to place Sabu’s head between his legs & motions for the camera
Flex Magnificent: LIMEY! YOU WUNT DO MESS PEOPLE’S FACES UP?! DIS IS ONLY DE BEGINNING!!!!
Flex lifts Sabu in what looks like a piledriver position by falls forwards right onto Sabu’s face! Sabu is kicking around in a circle like he was Curly Howard.
Flex gets up & is now face to face with 911! 911 immediately grabs Flex by the throat & lifts him up high above the audience nearby. He’s looking for fan approval before he drops him, but before he can Dr. Delavier is right behind him & blasts him on the back with a chair. He lets go of Flex but is oblivious to the chair shot. He turns around & starts walking to Dr. Delavier who is visibly shaken & walking backwards towards the guard rail, but before 911 could get his hand on him Flex goes from behind with a chair to the head. NO EFFECT! Paul E.’s in on the mix & is yelling for 911 to let Flex have it. They both stare off before bludgeoning each other with rights & lifts.
GM: It’s pandemonium on the outside of the ring! The match has begun & it hasn’t even taken place in the ring yet!
911 & Flex continue brawling until Sabu is back! But he’s high atop the bleecher seats. He jumps off landing on both Flex & 911! The fans are ecstatic! They’re all scrawled out on the basketball court floor of the gym!
Sabu stumbles up & gives his signature taunt. 911 begins standing up so Paul orders him to bring Flex over to the merchaindise table. 911 picks Flex up by his potato sack & drags him over to the merch table. Paul E. & Sabu are calling for the Chokeslam. 911 can’t help himself, but set Flex up once again for it BUT.......
The Chokeslam has once again been avoided as Dr. Delavier jumps up on the table & has grabbed a TWO Count Foam Finger & tries to poke 911 in the eyes with it, but he lets go of Flex & grabs Delavier instead. He lifts Delavier up & THREW THE TABLE!!!
GM: Jesse, I have been waiting months for that bulked up bubble head to finally get it!
JV: Well Monsoon, the truth is finally out!
While 911 is slamming Delavier through the table Flex has already low blowed Sabu who was about to take care of him & sneaks up from behind 911 & lifts him up for an Angle Slam, but he drops 911 right on his head & his neck buckles in an obscene manner. EMTs immediately hit the scene. 911 is shaking like a branch in winter.
JV: It’s a good thing Toomi Bischoff has ordered all EMTs to be on hand during any & all Flex Magnificent appearances!
The action continues while 911 is being attended to. Flex grabs Sabu & lifts him up to dart him right into the t-shirt display which is merely t-shirts taped to a concrete wall. He lands in a pile of PTA dunce caps & Billy Ubermark inflatable fingers (which all burst open & are whizzing around in the air). Sabu is out cold as Flex now sees Paul E. who is now motioning for Flex to reconsider, but he’s sent into orbit as Flex swipes clean across the face with an elbow leaving him out for the count as well.
Flex walks over to Sabu & grabs him by the hair & now walks through the crowd & throws Sabu over the guardrail into the aisle. Fans are scampering to get out of the way of this beast.
Flex gets over the guardrail & throws Sabu into the ring. Sabu is a bit weary but is not making an attempt to get up, but Flex blocks that by climbing in the ring & driving a knee Sabu right in the back of Sabu’s head which falls first & his throat across the bottom rope. Sabu’s holding onto his throat.
Flex grabs his hair once again & drags him into the middle of the ring & sits Sabu up. He is right behind him & places his right hand across the forehead of Sabu & the lift across the jaw of Sabu.
GM: It can’t be. He better not snap that man’s neck in half!
But Flex indeed does & does so in a fashion as if Sabu’s head was a peice of paper. The ref immediately checks on Sabu & calls for the bell. But Flex jumps out to the ring & grabs the mic & once again enters. Dr. Delavier is now by ringside after that massive chokeslam & gets into the ring as well. Flex kicks the ref who is checking on Sabu right in the face & hits him with such force the ref jumps in the air. Flex now has something to say.
FM: LIMEY! You try do ruin my face & my career! Now is de time....De time for retribution & it now starts with SABU!!
GM: What is he going to do?!?!
Dr. Delavier reaches into the pockets of his track pants & pulls out some materials. He hands them over to Flex. Flex takes them in hand & LITS A FIREBALL IN SABU’S FACE!!!!
Sabu is flopping around like a fish grabbing a hold of his face as EMTS once again rush out to help..
GM: HE JUST LIT A FIREBALL INTO THE FACE OF SABU! What a despicable display on the part of Flex Magnificent!
Flex even with the potato sack with eyeholes is on his head he looks coldly down upon Sabu who is now being attended to by EMTs. There is no flexing from Flex as he keeps looking at Sabu. Now he starts walking over & starts pummeling each & every one of the EMTs throwing them across & out of the ring like ragdolls. He’s now alone with Sabu & lifts Sabu up for a STACKED SUPER SLAM! & deposits him face first on the post! Sabu is now bleeding incredibly to add to all his troubles.
GM: Just adding insult to injury to Sabu. I can’t believe this guy! Who the hell does he think he is?
JV: Ha ha! He’s Flex Magnificent, Monsoon & he can do whatever the hell he wants!
With that blow Sabu falls right onto the mat HEADFIRST! The image is even worse than what just happened to 911. Flex immediately gets out of the ring & applies The Flex Capacitorto Sabu who is not even moving at this point.
Now the calva cade of event security come in & get Flex off of him. Before they even get there Flex lets go of the hold & starts walking away with Dr. Delavier in tow. Security just stand there & look at him like, “What the hell?”
GM: Flex Magnificent is a deranged man, Jess. He just unloaded on Sabu practically ending his career & he walks away like nothing has happened. This man should be in an asylum!
JV: Au contrare, Monsoon. This man should have a public apology done by Limey in front of all these fans. Because Limey has unleashed the anger in Flex Magnificent & trust me when I say this Monsoon. The EWT will NOT BE SAFE!!! GM: That just may be the case, Jesse. What we just saw here was the most destruction along with Curly’s Coliseum that I have seen from Flex Magnificent. This man is unstoppable! And we’ll be back after this word from our sponsors.
The image we are left with is of Flex & Delavier heading back to the lockerroom with fans chanting. “HE CAN’T WRESTLE!!”
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Oct 2, 2005 18:59:28 GMT -5
*R&T are getting impatent in the ring, they have just had to sit through the barbaric match between Flex and Sabu. When suddenly the sinister version of "Moving on up" suddenly blares out of the speaker system, and Curly Long along with Mr. Big walk out to the stage Microphone in hand. Mr.Big has the Fink on his shoulders, a 'VLB' chant is soon underway*
CURLY LONG: Hey Mr. Big looks like we have ourselves a little problem, of course for you two its a Big problem . . heh . . .
*Raskall is about to speak but Curly cuts him off*
CURLY: Now, what you did to Finkel was nasty, but hey your taking on the king of doing things the nasty way . . . Big!
*On that Big lifts Finkel up on his shoulders, walks to the side of the stage and powerbombs the helpless announcer off the stage, EMT's rush out to attend to Finkel, Raskall & Trunk are shocked but continue to taunt Curly and Big*
CURLY: Heh . . not his week . . .
*Mr.Big picks up Curly on his shoulders and heads to the ring, R&T still inciting them on*
RASKALL: Hey c'mon stop playing with the announcer, and get in here so me and Trunk can beat the crap out of you!
*Mr.Big and Curly pause at the ring apron*
CURLY: Raskall & Trunk you wanted some? . . well now your gonna get some! . . . and this time there won't be any bottles of beer to help you! . . .
*Mr.Big enters the ring by the steps and walks up to R&T, Curly is ontop of his shoulders, there is a stand off! *
CURLY: its time to take you two clowns to down!
*Curly Leaps off Mr.Big and nails Raskall with a cross body, but soon the two are trading forearms on the canvas relentlessly, meanwhile Mr .Big and Trunk size each other up . . . but before the two big men can go at it Officials, Trainers, security and The Mountie hit the ring and seperate the two teams!*
THE MOUNTIE: Break it up!
*The two teams are seperated but continue to shout abuse at each other, eventually they get Curly & Mr.Big out of the ring and up the ramp*
J.R: Jesse!, this is far from over!
JESSE: Your, darn right Ross, these two teams want to tear each other apart, and the fans don't care cause they hate both of them!
(cut to commercial)
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Post by Joel, Mike, Currently...? on Oct 2, 2005 20:52:32 GMT -5
A generic rock tune begins to play, sounding very like early 90's WCW production, and the Nasty Boys walk out, twirling broken pool cues. They yell at the crowd, threaten to hit the camera men with pool cues, and act very heelish. As they roll into the ring, their music stops, and is soon replaced.
It's all about the pentiums, baby...
A huge roar sounds from the crowd, and out hip-hops Joel and Mike, waving their hands in the air, although they vaguely do look like they care. They make a dash for the ring, and slide in under the ropes. Joel slides under Saggs's legs while Mike leap frogs over Knobbs's head. When Mike lands, he hits a back jumping drop kick, and goes rolling forward as Brian stands up, kicks the back of Saggs's right leg, causing him to kneel. Mike goes top speed, hitting the ropes, and running up to Saggs for a Shining Wizard. Mike pins Saggs for a two count, broken up by Knobbs. Knobbs sends a flurry of punches Mike's way, but Joel stops that by hitting the ropes and coming back to a low drop kick to Knobbs's head. Mike pushes Knobbs off him and gets up, but is clotheslined back down by Saggs. Brian tries to do something, but Saggs picks him up and drops him over the ropes in the Snake Eyes. Brian clutches his throat and rolls around the ring in pain.
Knobbs and Saggs begin their obligatory stomp-down, which goes hand in hand with their brawling style, and the Nyrds log roll out of the ring. Brian and Jerry walk around the ring, putting their hands in the air, taunting and yelling at the crowd, until Joel jumps up onto the apron. When they both run to him, Joel hops down, and on the opposite side, Mike jumps up onto the apron. Saggs and Knobbs run to him, and he hops down. They do this back and forth for about two minutes, until finally, in a tandem, both Mike and Joel jump up onto the apron, and springboard off the top rope. Joel takes down Knobbs with a flying forearm, while Mike chooses a spinning heel kick for Saggs. The crowd is already hot, but Joel and Mike turn up the heat when they both shout "NEW MOVE!" Joel picks up Saggs, and slugs him over his shoulder, Spinebuster style. Mike climbs to the top rope, and when Saggs's head and Joel's back are turned to him, Mike takes to the air, jumping forward, and grabbing Saggs's head along the way. Joel jumps down as Mike lands a DDT on Saggs, in what can probably be described as a top rope Snap Shot (kinda), which has been dubbed...um, I dunno yet. Joel rolls over Saggs for the pin, 1, 2, broken up by Knobbs.
Knobbs gets to his hands and knees, but is put down by a hard Yakuza Kick by Joel, who didn't lift Saggs's fat ass for nothing you know. He locks in the River City Stretch, while Mike waits for Saggs to get to his feet. As soon as he does, he grabs him by the head, runs him to the ropes, and hits the Contra Code Hot Coffee Mod THE LIFE FORCE CODE! Mike hooks the leg, and three seconds later, the match is over. Joel let's go of the Stretch, and gets up to dance with Mike. After a while of hip hoping, Mike has something to say.
Mike: PTA, you're about to learn the hard way: Never come between a Nyrd and his video games!
The crowd cheers, and Joel and Mike make their way to the back.
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on Oct 3, 2005 6:58:49 GMT -5
*Backstage, Sum Guy is holding the mic. He is standing next to Limey.*
SG: I'm Sum Guy and I pissed myself seven times watching Sin City. I'm here with Limey, and Limey...well...what can I say? You saw what Flex Magnificent did to Sabu and 911. He seems pretty steamed that you did what you did to his face. What are your thoughts?
Limey: "Steamed"? I sure as hell hope so, Guy. I want Flex to feel what I felt the moment I saw him snap Carla's leg. He hurt one of the only people in the world I truly care about...so that's when we decided to do the same to him. I hope everyone in Nuremburg loved to see the downfall of that arrogant, sexist, xenophobic BASTARD as much as I! And sure, it wasn't a scar as large as I would have liked it to be, but you and I both know that it did the damage.
SG: (Pause) Cool. So, what are your comments on Flex's threats?
Limey: Flex should have known better than to mess with me in the first place. Now he wants more? Well, I'll tell you something, Flex. I've made a lot of enemies here in EWT. Bret, that ultimate brown-noser Gasoline, that skank Rosa, but NONE OF THEM I hate as much as you! You want me, Flex? You're going to damn well get me!! The fact that you've now got a potato sack over your head doesn't buckle my courage one bit! Allow me, Sum Guy, if I may, to show you what I mean!
*Carla O Woe appears out of nowhere, and puts a potato sack over Sum Guy's head, tying it securely. Sum Guy looks around, scratching his head and wondering what's going on.*
Limey: Now, Guy, YOU TOO can be Flex Magnificent! Well let me tell you something. Even if you are Flex Magnificent, you can never push back Limey or Carla O Woe. You hate me, don't you?
SG: Uh...is this about what I wrote about you in EWT Onli...
Limey: (Backhands Sum Guy) SHUT UP! You, as Flex Magnificent, have every right to hate me. And I hope to Ozzy himself that you do! I hope you spend every waking moment of your life hating me, despising me, waking up in the morning and going to bed at night, thinking how much you loathe me!! You can dream it, you can think it, you can preach it out to the fans all you want! That will only serve to let me know THAT I'VE DONE MY DAMN JOB RIGHT!!!!
*The crowd pops for this. Limey takes a breather, whilst Sum Guy rubs at his face where Limey backhanded him.*
Limey: The fact of the matter is, Flex, you just can't learn your damn lesson. Flex, if you want me, come and get me. Carla and I will be waiting. Bet your life on that. And life has given you, and will continue to give you.....LIIIIIIIIIIMES!!!!!!!!
*Limey and Carla leave, arm in arm. Sum Guy feels around for the camera, potato sack still stuck on his head.*
SG: Well, I'm Sum Guy, and I can't see. Goodnight, EWT!
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Post by haiku on Oct 3, 2005 18:15:59 GMT -5
Diva-Dorf vs. Nidia
*The two stare in awe as EWT HeatVelocityImpact has just returned from commerical. The bell rings (ding 3x) and the match begins. The two lock-up and square each other. Nidia has a short advantage and slowly pushes Diva-Dorf to the corner of the ring. Nidia attempts to punch Diva-Dorf, but Diva-Dorf ducts and crawls under Nidia and grabs her butt. The crowd goes into laughter*
*Diva-Dorf holds Nidia's butt has the crowd is screaming HLA! HLA! Nidia is screaming in pain as Diva-Dorf uses all her strength to take Nidia down by her butt. Diva-Dorf crawls over to Nidia and starts viciously screaming at Nidia while she punches her with one hand; the other grabbing her hair. The referee warned Diva-Dorf of the hair pulling and she immediately let go when the referee counted to 4.*
*Diva-Dorf stands up and makes Nidia partially stand up as she locks Nidia into some inverted choke hold. Diva-Dorf gives a psychotic scream and delivers an INVERTED DDT! She attempts to pin Nidia.*
Ref: 1.............................2..............................3!
Winner: by pinfall, DIVA-DORF!
*Dorf comes into the ring to celebrate Diva-Dorf's victory. Camera fades to Tan.*
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Post by curtrok on Oct 3, 2005 18:45:04 GMT -5
Curtrok is seen outside the arena on a cell phone. Yes I understand full well, I'll make the arangements. Curtrok hangs up the phone and walks into the arena.
Curtrok walks out to the ring with a pair of blue jeans on and his icon t-shirt.
Curtrok slides into the ring and grabs a mic.
CR: First let me say it. I'm a big enough man to admit when I was wrong and when I came out here those many months ago and I turned my back on the EWT fans, I done wrong. And for that I'm sorry.
With that said I don't care if you like me or hate me. I've always wrestled for one thing, respect and when I thought I wasn't getting that I snapped.
But I got a call from a good friend of mine who asked me not to walk out on him, and I didn't.
Botchberg on the other hand has to finish his movie and won't be back for some time. But I'm here. I'm here because I love posting in the EWT, I'm not here for championships, or recognition.
Do you people know that I am one of only a few EWT starts to wrestle in the WCF and have I ever gotten a shot at any title. Did I whine to adminstration? Did I send an angry e-mail? Did I pout? Of course not! I made my own f***ing belt. Because that's what a creative person does.
This week there isn't a match board yet, who cares I made my own provsions and I'm going to tear the house down because that's what curtrok does! He rok's the house!
So the talking is done, let me bring out the special guest ref for my ladder match for the F.T.W title. TAZ!
Taz comes out to a huge pop from the crowd. After a several minute standing ovation they finally quiet down allowing Curtrok to announce his opponent none other than Rob Van Damn.
At this point the crowd is frienzed, an iron ring is lowred Tazz attaches the belt to the ring and it is suspended fifteen feet in the air the bell rings and the match is underway.
Van dam runs at Curtrok right away and hits a float over ddt followed up by some boots to the face. Van dam hits a spilt leg moon sault off the top rope.
Van dam follows that up with a leg drop then helps curtrok to his feet, irish whip countered by curtrok into a short arm clothsline.
Van dam kicks up from the clothsline only to eat another, this one followed by an elbow drop to the mush. Van dam works to his feet only to be met with a sweet looking vertical drop kick.
Curtrok slides out of the ring, looks underneath the squared circle to get the ladder. Curtrok slides the ladder into the ring.
Van dam back to his feet sets the ladder up and begins to climb it. Curtrok starts to climb to the top turnbuckle.
Van Dam at the top of the ladder has his fingertips on the belt, he catches a glimpse of curtrok on the turnbuckle and executes a FLYING CROSS BODY BLOCK OF THE LADDER WHICH SENDS BOTH MEN OVER THE TOP ROPE AND CRASHING INTO THE PAVEMENT.
Curtroks head is busted wide open both men are badly damaged. Van dam gets to his feet first and slides curtrok into the ring. Van Dam heads up the top rope for a frog spalsh. As Van dam leaps curtrok pulls the ladder into Van Dam's path knocking him out of mid air and onto the turnbuckle. Van dam takes a nasty bump, Taz asks both men if they want to call it, both men managed to shake their head no.
Curtrok is able to set up the ladder he starts to climb the ladder one rung at a time. Curtrok reaches the top of the ladder and grabs the belt, just then Van Damn knocks the ladder over with Curtrok hanging high above the ring.
Curtrok pulls the belt lose falls straight down onto van dam where curtrok executes a hurricaranna on RVD that sends him flying out of the ring.
You're winner and still F.T.W champion Curtrok!
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Post by Moxie loves Natalie on Oct 3, 2005 20:39:13 GMT -5
<"Peace Sells" hits, and "The Peacebringer" Carl Guerrero makes his way out to the ring, accompanied by Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark.>
<Carl takes a Mic>
Carl: Hola, Peace Doctors and Virgins Alike! I'd like to take this time to keep everyone up to date so far on what is going on in the EWT right now. Lets Start with Mii....iiiike, Ragnal.
Mister Ragnal, have fun on your vacation... and remember it was me who sent you on it. <Carl laughs>
Now, this is relatively out of character for me... but Eddie Omega, or whichever rock you crawled from... I'm sure my Peace Doctors and Virgins alike would, FULLY enjoy a peace accord, in which you can sign your OX Division Title, over to... me.
<Carl looks over to Billy, and Billy can be seen holding the half of his EWT Tri-State title, smirking>
As for my match tonight...
Well, Sorry RVD. Toomi Bischoff took some time off, so I am as well. My Pacifism allows me to do that.
Now, I know this isn't as funny as Maelstrom's last match... or the "secret" that lies between Linda and whoever... but for all my Peace Doctors, and for all the people who suffer from Virgin Discrimination... Know, that Billy and Carl... are on your side.
<Billy takes the Mic from Carl>
Billy: That's for damn sure. Now... Fish-face, Merc, we all know who the REAL EWT Tri-State Champion.
<Carl grabs the Mic>
Carl: That's you! That's you man!!
Billy: Exactly. I NEVER lost this title. And for the "EWT Booking Committee" or whatever the crap that Merc is spewing, that's Virgin Discrimination!
I won't take it... and WE won't take it.
<Carl is handed the mic again.>
Carl: Now... Goodwill... and GOOD DAY!
<Carl and Billy head out, as "Like a Virgin" plays>
fin
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Oct 4, 2005 0:22:10 GMT -5
*Linda Ragnal is standing in front of the EWT logo, holding on to the GND title around her shoulder. Once again, she talks with a bubbly personality.*
LINDA: Hi, guys, it’s your GND champion Linda Ragnal. Now, recently I’ve noticed a lot of the EWT’s girls have been really jealous with me. And they should be, too. Because I was handed this belt by the former GND champion Hillary Clitton, and it proves that I have every right to be the Girl Next Door champion. But, you know, just so you girls can loosen up and get all that unnecessary rage out of you, I have a little idea.
You all saw my match with Madusa. You saw that I literally destroyed her, and still retained my title. And then there's the jealousy I hear from all the girls, saying that they haven't been given the shot they deserve. All of them, basically. Oceanic. Mia. Even Carla and Rosa to an extent. Well, girls, this is your lucky time. Because now since our General Manager has let the inmates run wild, I have decided to screw the jobbers, and prove to all of you why I'm the GND champion. My first choice for an opponent? I pick...Oh, why spoil the fun? You'll all know in due time. So, get yourselves ready, ladies, because I will show you why I am the Girl Next Door champion.
*Linda's bubbly personality grows very cold, with a scowl to match.*
And believe me...when I say that the tide flows ONLY for the Ocean's Beauty...ME!
FADE TO BLACK
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on Oct 4, 2005 3:17:41 GMT -5
*Backstage. Sum Guy, still with the potato sack over his head (only now with eye-holes cut into them) is interviewing Carla O Woe.
SG: Hi, I'm Sum Guy, and Billy Ubermark has more chance of getting laid than I ever do. I'm here with Carla O Woe. Now, Carla, you heard the Girl Next Door Champ, anyone might be challenged for the belt. Anyone, including you. How does that make you feel?
Carla: Well, first off, Guy, I'm not going to deny Linda's ability. She's definately earned her belt, and I believe her to be a great champion. But I'm not going to hold back if she chooses me. Linda, if you're watching this, know that you're a great wrestler, a tremendous athelete, and you've got charisma to boot. But if you want to challenge me, I'll give you one HELL of a match. And at the end of the day, it'll be Carla O Woe, new Girl Next Door Champion.
Sum Guy: Really? What about Rosa?
Carla: Rosa? That SKANK? She is nothing but a leech off of the Heartbreak Hitman's success. Limey and I are in this together. Everything I do, Limey supports. And everything Limey does, I support. Nobody is using one another to get to the top. If Rosa wants to get to Linda Ragnal, she's got to go through ME. THAT is my message. (Pause) Hey, what's with the sack. Still haven't got it off?
SG: No. BUT, I managed to cut eyeholes into it, so now I can see again!
Carla: (Pause) If you cut eyeholes into it, why didn't you use whatever it was that cut eyeholes into the sack to cut yourself loose?
SG: (Pause) What?
Carla: Never mind. The fact is, Linda, choose me, and I will not let you down. But choose Rosa, and you'll be in too deep for your own good. And THAT, in the words of your brother, is the SHOCKING TRUTH.
*Carla leaves. SG turns to the camera.*
SG: Well, I'm Sum Guy, and I look like Jason Vorhees in Friday the 13th Part II. Back to live action!
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Oct 4, 2005 7:54:19 GMT -5
*Spaz is sitting in the locker room.*
S: Omega, soon we will face off for the OX Title. The world will find out that I am better than you. You will feel The Shockwave & I will pin you 1-2-3. Then I will do it again & again to take the OX Title from around your waist. I have nothing personal against you Eddie. This is purely business. Believe The Hype, I am that damn good.
*Cut To Commercial for EWTShopzone.com*
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