Old School Aug 12, 2007 22:23:02 GMT -5
Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 12, 2007 22:23:02 GMT -5
* Old School opens up with a shot outside of the main building for Chandler High School. The camera catches a man riding his bicycle in front of the school & that’s Mr. Englemann. The camera shot quickly goes super-fast through the halls of Chandler High & straight into the gymnasium. The gymnasium is packed with standing room only, as we cut to ringside. The Wolfpack Pride Marching band is playing a song around the ring & after they are done playing, we cut to ringside with Toom E Dangerously in the ring.*
Toom E: Alright!!! It feels great to be back at my Alma Mater of Chandler High School amongst the Wolfpack!!! Wolfpack in the house!!!!
* The students in attendance cheer for the cheap pop.*
Bet you never thought you would hear that phrase in wrestling again, huh? You know, it actually feels good to be back to the roots of wrestling here in EWT. And I don’t care about how unhappy those in the back are about it, because it’s not about them. It’s about getting our asses out of debt thanks to oceanic…who you will NOT see in attendance tonight.
* Fans boo at that announcement.*
Now now, it’s not her fault she wasted EWT money. She claims that she did it for the fans when she really did it to try & make herself look better to all of you. She took this promotion out of the country, making it hard for you all to attend a live event, & blew so much money. But that’s Ok. I am sure that you all will enjoy the budget cuts made, just as the fans at home will enjoy our special commentary team for this event tonight. But enough of that problem…let’s get on with our opening match.
Finkel: This match is scheduled for ONE-FALL with a TWENTY MINUTE TIME LIMIT! *“Electric Avenue” by Eddy Grant plays* Coming down the aisle, weighing tonight at 253 pounds, attending Indiana University, he is RONNIE L. CORDOVA!
*Cordova comes out of the Toomitron to cheers as he skates down the aisle in his fresh, new pair of rollerskate thingys. He glides around the ring area a few laps to show off his finesse roller discotheque skills, which actually incites the crowd positively. Then he goes up the stairs and skates around the squared circle as Howard Finkel gets ready to announce.*
Finkel: *”Cancer” by Filter plays* Coming down the aisle, weighing in at 270 pounds, from Filthadelphia, Pencilvania, he is DORF!
*Dorf comes out underneath the CrapTron all refreshed as he has cotton-jerked EWT the last couple of weeks by being a smart-ass to Toom E. Dangerously, refusing to fight, and making Mr. Dangerously work on the fly for him. He walks down the aisle to cheers and enters the ring just fine and dandy, but Cordova almost side-winded dorf from his rolling and the skating. Cordova got upset and skates right to the referee, being all upset. The two cross eye-to-eye as the ref is now yelling at Cordova to “TAKE OFF YOUR SKATES!”*
Cordova: I refuse to take off my skates.
Referee: TAKE OFF YOUR SKATES OR YOU WILL BE DISQUALFIED! THIS IS OLD SCHOOL…NOT NEW SCHOOL!!
Cordova: …..FINE! *takes off skates*
*Referee tells Finkel to start the match*
Bell: DING! DING! DING!
*The two lock-up to a corner as Dorf pushes Cordova there. The ref starts his count up to 5, but at the count of 3, dorf slaps across Cordova’s chest as the noise echoes throughout the arena with woo’s all over. Dorf then Irish Whips Cordova to the other side of the ring as Dorf appears to do a Running Clothesline, but Cordova moves just out of the way just-in-a-nic-of-time. As dorf became spaghetti-legged, Cordova got up and executed a Shoulder Tackle to dorf into a pinning predictament. The ref counts!*
*dorf kicks out!!*
*Cordova gets up right away and picks up dorf to execute a Belly-To-Belly Overhead Suplex as dorf goes down for the count. Cordova suavely takes his football-abused body and boogies the crowd down with his own beats. Meanwhile, the referee is yelling numbers at dorf because he is laying there, possibly still suffering the repercussions from the last PPV EWT had. At a count of 4, Cordova had enough flexing and showing off to glide to dorf, barefoot and execute another Overhead Belly-to-Belly Suplex. Man, this Cordova guy has something…*
*Cordova goes to the other side and signals dorf to stand-up as he is at the opposite corner of the ring…after a few seconds of getting up wobbly and spaghetti-legged, Cordova does a football sprint towards dorf at a very fast speed of what appears to be a Spear, but dorf moves out of the way just in time as Cordova’s head bounces off the middle turnbuckle. Cordova appears to be unfazed as he runs back by dorf with a vicious Clothesline. Cordova signals again that he has enough as he glides all the way to the top turnbuckle, outside the ring. The referee starts to count-out at Cordova as he slowly gets to the top rope. When the ref counted two, he got to the top. Cordova does a slow taunt at dorf and takes his eye off of him…when just as the ref yelled 3, DORF RAN OUT OF NOWHERE TO JUMP ONTO THE TOP ROPE AND HIT’S THE ABDORFTION INTO AN IMMEDIATE PIN!
*Cordova balances his weight over to get dorf’s shoulders down, dorf cannot escape!!*
Winner: by pinfall, RONNIE L. CORDOVA!!
*Dorf gets his shoulder up as soon as the victory for Cordova stands. It is acted as a shock win for the college student. Cordova puts his skates on and skates around the ring in astonishment for his unexpected victory. Dorf, presumably upset is giving a little smile to Cordova for his achievement and goes outside the squared circle. He goes to shake his hand for the victory and raises it high for the crowning achievement. The crowd goes crazy as dorf walks up the aisle happy about something….something not related to this match. Meanwhile, Cordova skates around the outside of the ring a few more laps, high-fiving the newest fans of him and rolls up the aisle way in happies.*