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Post by thwak is T.hawk on Oct 20, 2008 13:59:45 GMT -5
basically I decided to visit someone I knew, and I messaged her on facebook if the 18th was a good day to come over.
she said ok, but that her and her room mate have issues about guys staying over and I said don't worry I won't do anything stupid and she replied back with ok.
come the 18th, I look all over for her, I can't find her at all. I message her on facebook mobile like 10 times asking her where she is, I call her cell and get no response, I call her place and get her answering machine.
so then I say screw it and called my bro and stayed at his place and then left the next day.
so I'm pretty f***ing pissed, I tell her she's on my crap list now but she replies saying that she had no intention of me coming over and that I just assumed it would be fine. well yeah I assumed it was fine because she said it was ok! but apparently her and her room mate changed their mind with out telling me so now I'm pissed off at her and feel guilty about her room mate because honestly her roomie didn't need this bullcrap.
but am I wrong here for assuming it was ok for me to go and visit her?
I don't think so but I'm not her so whatever.
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Post by Throwback on Oct 20, 2008 14:49:52 GMT -5
she replies saying that she had no intention of me coming over . then why did she say yes?
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Post by The Booty Disciple on Oct 20, 2008 14:54:24 GMT -5
Assuming you saved the messages and what not, you've got proof that she said it was chill.
Sounds like she's playing ya like a two bit fiddle, man.
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Post by thwak is T.hawk on Oct 20, 2008 14:55:31 GMT -5
Assuming you saved the messages and what not, you've got proof that she said it was chill. Sounds like she's playing ya like a two bit fiddle, man. yeah I resent her the message of her saying it was ok.
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Post by The Booty Disciple on Oct 20, 2008 14:57:20 GMT -5
Well, then, to answer your question, it sounds like you did everything right and she's just being a putz.
I wouldn't sweat it, though.
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Post by Gobbledy Demon on Oct 20, 2008 14:57:28 GMT -5
Put her number on every bathroom stall.... Seriously though if it wasn't ok why say yes? If things changed, that is also fine, but she could have atleast answered your calls, or called you.
Morale of the story don't hook up with people you meet on line.
Hypocrite am I since I met my fiance online, no not through e-harmony or anything, we just clicked.
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Post by The Booty Disciple on Oct 20, 2008 14:59:32 GMT -5
Um, he knew this gal. He didn't just hook up online.
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Post by thwak is T.hawk on Oct 20, 2008 15:04:43 GMT -5
Um, he knew this gal. He didn't just hook up online. yah, I knew her from highschool.
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Post by macdaddysquid on Oct 20, 2008 15:08:20 GMT -5
to be honest it sounds like you were right to be mad but your behavior sounds a little stalkerish. calling ten times and facebook messaging. seems like you did go to far.
She never did intend for you to stay the proof is that she said her and her roommate have issues with guys staying. That was an easy excuse to not let you stay and then not look like a bad guy
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Post by FrankGotch on Oct 20, 2008 15:56:37 GMT -5
Chicks don't like needy guys and you sound like one big needy drama queen. Not that I think your in the wrong for being angry, but you do come off as very immature with the way you handled it.
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Post by The Booty Disciple on Oct 20, 2008 18:15:12 GMT -5
I don't think he sounds so much like a needy drama queen as much as a guy who drove for a pretty good distance, and then got stood up. Maybe ten times was a bit much, but if I took time to drive to a different town and then got stood up, I'd be a bit pissed too.
What's her boggle? She can't have enough courtesy to say "Uh, I changed my mind" or "Yeah, something came up," and instead ditches him?
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Post by bibboid on Oct 20, 2008 18:43:27 GMT -5
About 15 years ago, I was invited to my brother-in-law's bachelor party. I was given the address and phone number where we were meeting and told what time to get there. It was a 90 minute drive to get there, so I called two hours before the set time to make sure there were no changes. No answer. I started driving down the NJ Turnpike, stopping in every rest area to call again. No answer. I get to the apartment in Delaware and there is nobody there. No note on the door. No nothing. I waited around for about an hour and then had to drive back home.
At the wedding a week later, I asked the best man what happened. He said that they changed the time and he "forgot my phone number". He wouldn't even apologize for making me drive three hours round trip for nothing. To this day, I think that guy is a total dickwad.
The gist of my story is: You have every right to be angry. I don't think you did anything wrong and that girl is a total bitch for jerking you around like that.
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Post by kretchpoof on Oct 20, 2008 22:55:44 GMT -5
About 15 years ago, I was invited to my brother-in-law's bachelor party. I was given the address and phone number where we were meeting and told what time to get there. It was a 90 minute drive to get there, so I called two hours before the set time to make sure there were no changes. No answer. I started driving down the NJ Turnpike, stopping in every rest area to call again. No answer. I get to the apartment in Delaware and there is nobody there. No note on the door. No nothing. I waited around for about an hour and then had to drive back home. At the wedding a week later, I asked the best man what happened. He said that they changed the time and he "forgot my phone number". He wouldn't even apologize for making me drive three hours round trip for nothing. To this day, I think that guy is a total dickwad. The gist of my story is: You have every right to be angry. I don't think you did anything wrong and that girl is a total bitch for jerking you around like that. To be honest, you should've just stayed at home after the first missed call. At the very least, you should've called your sister and told her that her fiancee was doing weird things with a male stripper at his bachelor party.
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Cranjis McBasketball
Crow T. Robot
Knew what the hell that thing was supposed to be
Peace Love and Nothing But
Posts: 41,975
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Post by Cranjis McBasketball on Oct 21, 2008 2:50:07 GMT -5
I wouldn't say you're in the wrong, but I will say that it never impresses me when people invite themselves over. It's basicallly impossible to say no.
Next time, wait for an invitation.
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Mozenrath
FANatic
Foppery and Whim
Speedy Speed Boy
Posts: 121,204
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Post by Mozenrath on Oct 21, 2008 3:26:56 GMT -5
I wouldn't say you're in the wrong, but I will say that it never impresses me when people invite themselves over. It's basicallly impossible to say no. Next time, wait for an invitation. Yeah, but it pays to be assertive. The lesson, guys, is that you never have any clue when you're right or wrong, because the rules make no sense and are subject to change at any time, without announcement. Love is the FCC.
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Post by Loki on Oct 21, 2008 5:39:22 GMT -5
Mistake #1: you don't invite yourself over. You may throw the idea of coming over around, and see how she reacts. "What about the 18th" has a totally different sound than "I'll be in town someday next week, what about a drink?".
Mistake #2: she said they had problems with a guy sleeping there. It was a polite way to say "we'd rather not have you around". At that point it was rather obvious she wasn't that excited about you visiting, and you should just have let the thing die with an excuse.
Mistake #3: "don't worry, I won't rape you while you're sleeping" isn't the right answer... You should just have taken the hint and canceled the whole visit.
Note: "ok" is a tad laconic as an answer to a friend who's proposing to visit you... Such lack of enthusiasm kinda gave it away the plan wasn't that great to her
You're not in the wrong, and I see why you're pissed. She was rude and bitchy, but it's not as if she didn't give you hints
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Post by markdown474 on Oct 21, 2008 5:54:39 GMT -5
Loki makes a lot of good points above. But the fact that she sounds completely unapologetic about the issue makes me think she doesn't value your friendship very much. I say cut her loose!
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