News on new adaptation of Moby Dick

[Arturo Classico]

It appears as Russian director Timur Bekmambetov will be making a movie based off of Herman Melville's classic novel. I'll let slashfilm talk for me as I am so enraged by this that I can't write anything coherent.

In what the trades are dryly referring to as a “reimagining” and “splashy,” Universal Pictures has hired Timur Bekmambetov (Night Watch) to direct a new version of the literary classic, Moby Dick, that will “apply the visual flourish he displayed on the [studio's] summer hit Wanted.” So, 360 flips and Angelina Jolie’s ass? It’s pointless to feign outrage about this announcement (books, meh), but note that screenwriters, Adam Cooper and Bill Collage, have taken liberty with Herman Melville’s opus, exercising the first-person narration of Ishmael so “the whale can smurf up way more crap, dudes.” They previously penned Accepted and the Olsen Twins’ New York Minute.

Also, Captain Ahab “will be depicted more as a charismatic leader than a brooding obsessive.” I’m no longer paraphrasing and you have to wonder if this choice was made due to the tepid fanboy reception of Peter Parker in Spider-Man 3. If you recall, Ahab’s Biblical emo-ness was a focal point…

All that most maddens and torments; all that stirs up the lees of things; all truth with malice in it; all that cracks the sinews and cakes the brain; all the subtle demonisms of life and thought; all evil, to crazy Ahab, were visibly personified, and made practically assailable in Moby Dick.

No longer. As someone who enjoyed Wanted and anticipates the cinematic giant shark mind-fryer that is MEG, I guess I should propose an upside to blowing off dusty works of literature like NES cartridges and inserting them into Hollywood’s puckering slot. So be it. If the filmmakers rig Ahab’s peg leg into a 3D harpoon, that could be schweeet.

source slashfilm.com

Yeah the writers of New York Minute and the director of Wanted, sure this will be a good movie.

[Sajoa Moe]

I'm guessing we'll see Captain Ahab leading his crew in a merry seafaring tune and a whale armed with head-mounted machine guns that only fire in bullet-time.

And maybe Ishmael will be in a scene or two.

['Foretold' Joker]

Patrick Stewarts version is the one to beat.

[Arturo Classico]

Sept 23, 2008 15:46:10 GMT -5 'Foretold' Joker said:

Patrick Stewarts version is the one to beat.

that was good but I think the best one was the one with Gregory Peck and honestly Moby Dick isn't my favorite book at all but it's still a classic and all same thing would go if they ruined Sun Also Rises with Jason Biggs and Lindsey Lohan as Jack and Brett directed by Uwe Boll.

[Rorschach]

*Says a short prayer*

Thank you GOD, for keeping JAWS safe for another year.
Please let this continue for all time, or until the end of time
in the year 2012, or at the very least, until neither Brett Ratner
nor Micheal Bay nor Paul WS Anderson are around anymore.

Amen.

Though I question the veracity of that news, since MEG has been shelved for quite some time now, and that story talks about it like it's coming out next year.

[default]

You know, if they cast Samuel L. as Ahab... I MIGHT just see this.

I'm still surprised there's nothing in there about Dick talking.

[Rorschach]

See....there's a reason MOBY DICK and the film it inspired, JAWS just wouldn't work today: Because knowing what we know about sharks AND whales, and how endangered BOTH species have become....they're just not that scary anymore, and they don't play as a believable threat. SHARK WEEK has pretty much debunked the idea of bloodthirsty Great Whites, and when was the last time you even saw a PICTURE of a Sperm Whale on the surface of the ocean? They've been so decimated by whaling and finning that the chances of encountering one are slim to none. And besides, to be true to the book, MOBY DICK would have to be a period piece, and we all KNOW how successful, box office wise, those turn out to be.

As for JAWS, the big problem with setting that in the present day, aside from the well known dwindling shark population, would be f***ing CELL PHONES. So Quint destroys the CB radio....so what? Hooper has his Nokia, and the Coast Guard is just a phone call away. Not to mention that no self respecting police chief in this day and age would go out in a craft as rickety as the ORCA, anyway.

I just cannot see any way either of these movies would play well in this day and age.

[Joe Neglia]

*Looks at bookshelf, sees original novel completely unphased by this news, walks away*

[Rorschach]

Sept 23, 2008 17:54:34 GMT -5 Joe Neglia said:

*Looks at bookshelf, sees original novel completely unphased by this news, walks away*

Yeah, people ALWAYS use that argument about remakes: They don't ever REPLACE the original...it's still there for you to enjoy, yadda yadda yadda. Problem is, with each new version of these films....the old one gets pushed farther and farther into the background, and fewer and fewer people bother even LOOKING for it, especially if they get burned by a shitty remake that essentially SPOILS the best parts of the story anyway.

[Brandon Walsh is Insane.]

Sept 23, 2008 18:23:05 GMT -5 Rorschach said:

Sept 23, 2008 17:54:34 GMT -5 Joe Neglia said:

*Looks at bookshelf, sees original novel completely unphased by this news, walks away*

Yeah, people ALWAYS use that argument about remakes: They don't ever REPLACE the original...it's still there for you to enjoy, yadda yadda yadda. Problem is, with each new version of these films....the old one gets pushed farther and farther into the background, and fewer and fewer people bother even LOOKING for it, especially if they get burned by a crapty remake that essentially SPOILS the best parts of the story anyway.

There's a book?

[BK From WV]

Sept 23, 2008 15:53:18 GMT -5 Arturo Classico said:

Sept 23, 2008 15:46:10 GMT -5 'Foretold' Joker said:

Patrick Stewarts version is the one to beat.

that was good but I think the best one was the one with Gregory Peck and honestly Moby Dick isn't my favorite book at all but it's still a classic and all same thing would go if they ruined Sun Also Rises with Jason Biggs and Lindsey Lohan as Jack and Brett directed by Uwe Boll.

I just finished reading The Sun Also Rises this past weekend actually. Good book.