Post by HMARK Center on May 9, 2009 10:36:18 GMT -5
Here's another good question.
If you had no intention of going out with him in the first place...why didn't you just say "no"?
By that, I don't mean coming up with a bullexcretory matter excuse like "I think of you as a friend" (even though we've shared maybe six words with each other) or "I don't think my boyfriend would approve" (you may as well just laugh in our face). You don't need an excuse; you think you're letting us down easy, but all you're doing is toying with us and patronizing us.
This is how it should go:
"Wanna go out sometime?"
"No."
"OK."
BAM! No time wasted, no imagination wasted...no problems whatsoever with that.
To be fair, I could see being in that situation and feeling a bit badly about just outright rejecting somebody. Ergo, you want to let them down a bit more easily.
The problem comes when the rejection doesn't come sooner, and the sap who's looking to get to know the girl just lets himself get led on and on.
I recently struck up a conversation with a woman at a club, asked her to dance, and she very politely said that her boyfriend was there, and he definitely wouldn't be too cool with that. I just no problem, it's all good, and moved on.
Even though it may be harsh to just let out a straight-up "no", it's better than the alternative, of leaving too much doubt in the air and allowing the guy to start projecting things that aren't there. There can be a nice middle ground, even just a simple "I don't think we're what each others looking for", or "I'm sorry, I just don't think we click", or something like that. Again, the more direct way of communicating.