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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Apr 21, 2009 21:51:53 GMT -5
BOOM! Congratulations to my new friend and new member of WWCF Corporate, Jazz Man! Dude, it's only a matter of time before you get the ladies screaming out your name while wearing t-shirts with your name on it... even better, they'll take it all off for you, dude! You've made a lot of sacrifices to reach this point, my friend, that's why we're giving you a lot of money to reward your hard work.
Greed is good, Jazz Man. You're dealing with the Devil, but the Devil is your friend, here to grant what you desire. You get what you want, and I get what I want, and we're friends, understand?
Now, I guess I need to talk about my opponents at STW. Well... *takes out a piece of paper and reads* ...aside from Jazz Man and Starshine everyone else is just an ugly-looking rock in a mountain that I have to climb over. Hell, I don't care if I get help -- I'll climb over a mountain of bodies to get to the top and claim my prize, baby.
Once I win I'm coming after Motor-Colt, or whoever the hell is the champion, and I'll show him that the past is dead. I kicked it's ass, because I'm the f****** future, the Superman of ass-kicking, the rock-star of violence, and the Godzilla of awesome. I am the fire in a room full of gasoline! I am Cthulhu, Corporate Super Super-Star! Seth: First off, I would like to apologize to the people of DC Comics and Toho Pictures for Cthulu comparing himself to Superman and Godzilla. To compare himself to your greatest creations is an insult to your creations.
Second thing, I dont know what world Cthulu lives in, but I havent heard any of his rock songs that are good and I roomed with the guy for several months.....well, him and his butt buddy, Justice....who has completely disappeared.
Third thing, I faced Cthulu in War Games and of course, my team won and his team lost.
Fourth thing, I feel sorry for Team Corporate for having that guy as a leader because the man couldnt carry my jock strap....let alone an entire team.
Fifth thing, Greed is never good because it is an afront to the Higher Power, who named it as one of his seven deadly sins. The devil may look like your friend, but he is the Lower Power for a reason because the Higher Power kicked his ass and sentenced him to the hell he is in. You wanna hang with the loser, go on ahead.....but I get guidance with people who win, not lose.
And finally, I look forward to eliminating his stupid ass and proving that I am and will always be........superior to him.
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Post by aka Cthulhu on Apr 21, 2009 21:59:50 GMT -5
BOOM! Congratulations to my new friend and new member of WWCF Corporate, Jazz Man! Dude, it's only a matter of time before you get the ladies screaming out your name while wearing t-shirts with your name on it... even better, they'll take it all off for you, dude! You've made a lot of sacrifices to reach this point, my friend, that's why we're giving you a lot of money to reward your hard work.
Greed is good, Jazz Man. You're dealing with the Devil, but the Devil is your friend, here to grant what you desire. You get what you want, and I get what I want, and we're friends, understand?
Now, I guess I need to talk about my opponents at STW. Well... *takes out a piece of paper and reads* ...aside from Jazz Man and Starshine everyone else is just an ugly-looking rock in a mountain that I have to climb over. Hell, I don't care if I get help -- I'll climb over a mountain of bodies to get to the top and claim my prize, baby.
Once I win I'm coming after Motor-Colt, or whoever the hell is the champion, and I'll show him that the past is dead. I kicked it's ass, because I'm the f****** future, the Superman of ass-kicking, the rock-star of violence, and the Godzilla of awesome. I am the fire in a room full of gasoline! I am Cthulhu, Corporate Super Super-Star! Seth: First off, I would like to apologize to the people of DC Comics and Toho Pictures for Cthulu comparing himself to Superman and Godzilla. To compare himself to your greatest creations is an insult to your creations.
Second thing, I dont know what world Cthulu lives in, but I havent heard any of his rock songs that are good and I roomed with the guy for several months.....well, him and his butt buddy, Justice....who has completely disappeared.
Third thing, I faced Cthulu in War Games and of course, my team won and his team lost.
Fourth thing, I feel sorry for Team Corporate for having that guy as a leader because the man couldnt carry my jock strap....let alone an entire team.
Fifth thing, Greed is never good because it is an afront to the Higher Power, who named it as one of his seven deadly sins. The devil may look like your friend, but he is the Lower Power for a reason because the Higher Power kicked his ass and sentenced him to the hell he is in. You wanna hang with the loser, go on ahead.....but I get guidance with people who win, not lose.
And finally, I look forward to eliminating his stupid ass and proving that I am and will always be........superior to him. Why would I carry your jockstrap? I'm not into that sort of thing, you know, and the Higher Power can eat my socks, after I kick his jaw off. Yeah! Blasphemy! I'll take you on, Drakin, and I'll do it for free.
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Apr 21, 2009 22:03:27 GMT -5
Seth: First off, I would like to apologize to the people of DC Comics and Toho Pictures for Cthulu comparing himself to Superman and Godzilla. To compare himself to your greatest creations is an insult to your creations.
Second thing, I dont know what world Cthulu lives in, but I havent heard any of his rock songs that are good and I roomed with the guy for several months.....well, him and his butt buddy, Justice....who has completely disappeared.
Third thing, I faced Cthulu in War Games and of course, my team won and his team lost.
Fourth thing, I feel sorry for Team Corporate for having that guy as a leader because the man couldnt carry my jock strap....let alone an entire team.
Fifth thing, Greed is never good because it is an afront to the Higher Power, who named it as one of his seven deadly sins. The devil may look like your friend, but he is the Lower Power for a reason because the Higher Power kicked his ass and sentenced him to the hell he is in. You wanna hang with the loser, go on ahead.....but I get guidance with people who win, not lose.
And finally, I look forward to eliminating his stupid ass and proving that I am and will always be........superior to him. Why would I carry your jockstrap? I'm not into that sort of thing, you know, and the Higher Power can eat my socks, after I kick his jaw off. Yeah! Blasphemy! I'll take you on, Drakin, and I'll do it for free. First of all, it was just a saying because even I dont feel comfortable with another guy touching my jockstrap.
Second of all, I dont need to saying anything more than your music sucks and if you ever did a concert, half of the audience would take a piss and the other half would have their brains explode out of the pure crap you play.
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littlenaitch
Dennis Stamp
Stylin' and Profilin'
Hall of Famer!!
Posts: 4,160
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Post by littlenaitch on Apr 22, 2009 1:12:56 GMT -5
I'm willing to write up Me vs LittleNaitch, so if anyone has any ideas they'd like to imput, just let me know. nothing special
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Jonathan Michaels
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
The Archduke of Levity
Here since TNA was still kinda okay
Posts: 18,230
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Post by Jonathan Michaels on Apr 22, 2009 1:47:38 GMT -5
Jonathan is on the roof, playing his new pinball machine.
Yes, new high score!
He spies the camera.
Well, wordlife, it seems we have a little dilemma, both of us have qualified for the Battlebowl, but we are also facing off for the Hardcore Title the same night, so we are faced with a decision.
Do we go all out and risk being unable to compete in Battlebowl, or do we ease up on one another and risk losing the title because our opponent decided to go for it.
So, what's it going to be, the Dinette set, or Door #2?
Well, I don't know about you, but I don't give a damn about my chances, I'm going t do my damndest to have my cake and eat it too, and I would expect nothing less from you as wel, so no matter what happens in our Hardcore match, we have to agree to work together in Battlebowl, and I suggest the same thing for your Story mates as well, because while you said I can't join The Story, I still want to make sure one of the four of us gets the title shot, just to make sure Corporate, Parka, or any other unsavory characters have a chance to destroy what you have built.
I still believe in what you guys stand for, and we will emerge victoriously.
Jonathan gets close to the camera.
But know this, while you and I are still tight, if I have to put you out of commision to win the Hardcore Title, I won't give it a second thought.
And, Cut.
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Post by Metalheadbanger Man on Apr 22, 2009 5:55:30 GMT -5
I can do the Legion/Headbanger/Stevie elimination match, unless Legion wants at it himself.
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Apr 22, 2009 13:58:10 GMT -5
"Voices" by Rev Theory begins to play.
Koda comes down to the ring with the Heatz! title over his shoulder. He gets into the ring and grabs a mic.
I have seen several sinners around here in WWCF as of late. And trust me, I know all about sins. You may not know this, but the source of my insanity is these voices I have in my head. No...not voices, persons. I share this body with Seven other people, and each one of them is the embodiment of a Deadly Sin. And I am going to rid this federation of all sinners. Starting with, Viva! Viva, you know what your sin is? Sloth. You want to know why no one takes you serious? Because you are too lazy to do anything worthwhile! You sit around all day consuming drugs. You....yo...y...
VIVA! YOU HAVE f***ED UP BIG TIME! AT THE PPV, YOU WON'T BE FACING THE KODA YOU KNOW! YOU WILL BE FACING ME, WRATH! I WILL f*** YOU UUUUUPPPPP!!!!!!!!
Sorry about that Viva....Wrath is always pissed off. But he is right. You will be lucky to escape the PPV alive. You see, you will be facing Wrath, because I REALLY want to keep my gold. You see, I'm Greed and I won't let some undeserving, lazy stoner walk away with my possessions! I crave everything! Money! Sex! And of course, Championships!
You see, Viva, you hardly know me, and I'm willing to truly go all out on you. HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!
Koda drops the mic and heads to the back.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2009 13:59:35 GMT -5
Dis place be all-a fulla de Weirdos
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2009 14:13:22 GMT -5
Jonathan is on the roof, playing his new pinball machine. Yes, new high score!He spies the camera. Well, wordlife, it seems we have a little dilemma, both of us have qualified for the Battlebowl, but we are also facing off for the Hardcore Title the same night, so we are faced with a decision.
Do we go all out and risk being unable to compete in Battlebowl, or do we ease up on one another and risk losing the title because our opponent decided to go for it.
So, what's it going to be, the Dinette set, or Door #2?
Well, I don't know about you, but I don't give a damn about my chances, I'm going t do my damndest to have my cake and eat it too, and I would expect nothing less from you as wel, so no matter what happens in our Hardcore match, we have to agree to work together in Battlebowl, and I suggest the same thing for your Story mates as well, because while you said I can't join The Story, I still want to make sure one of the four of us gets the title shot, just to make sure Corporate, Parka, or any other unsavory characters have a chance to destroy what you have built.
I still believe in what you guys stand for, and we will emerge victoriously.Jonathan gets close to the camera. But know this, while you and I are still tight, if I have to put you out of commision to win the Hardcore Title, I won't give it a second thought.
And, Cut. Jonathan, what you need to understand is this. For me, there is no Battle Bowl. I'm focusing soley on the next match, and that's the match I have with you. That's the only thing I'm worried about right now. So you bet your ass I'm gonna be takin' all kinds of risks out there. This *holds up Hardcore Title* means everything to me. And while you're correct, we are tight, nothing will stop me from holding onto this. So bring your A-game, Johnny, 'cause I sure as hell am bringing mine.*Sets off pyro* (In a mocking tone) And, cut.
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Legion
Fry's dog Seymour
Amy Pond's #1 fan
Hail Hydra!
Posts: 22,896
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Post by Legion on Apr 22, 2009 15:17:11 GMT -5
I can do the Legion/Headbanger/Stevie elimination match, unless Legion wants at it himself. Legion has only just resurfaced and probably shouldn't jump right in and write the match, so it's all yours. Appreciate the thought though and will perhaps write some matches one im back and established properly.
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Viva
Dennis Stamp
THAT'S MY PURSE! *kick to the groin*
You can dance if you want to.
Posts: 4,099
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Post by Viva on Apr 22, 2009 15:24:53 GMT -5
"Voices" by Rev Theory begins to play. Koda comes down to the ring with the Heatz! title over his shoulder. He gets into the ring and grabs a mic. I have seen several sinners around here in WWCF as of late. And trust me, I know all about sins. You may not know this, but the source of my insanity is these voices I have in my head. No...not voices, persons. I share this body with Seven other people, and each one of them is the embodiment of a Deadly Sin. And I am going to rid this federation of all sinners. Starting with, Viva! Viva, you know what your sin is? Sloth. You want to know why no one takes you serious? Because you are too lazy to do anything worthwhile! You sit around all day consuming drugs. You....yo...y...VIVA! YOU HAVE snorkED UP BIG TIME! AT THE PPV, YOU WON'T BE FACING THE KODA YOU KNOW! YOU WILL BE FACING ME, WRATH! I WILL snork YOU UUUUUPPPPP!!!!!!!!Sorry about that Viva....Wrath is always pissed off. But he is right. You will be lucky to escape the PPV alive. You see, you will be facing Wrath, because I REALLY want to keep my gold. You see, I'm Greed and I won't let some undeserving, lazy stoner walk away with my possessions! I crave everything! Money! Sex! And of course, Championships!You see, Viva, you hardly know me, and I'm willing to truly go all out on you. HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!Koda drops the mic and heads to the back. Look, buudddyy. You've been spouting off at the mouth saying a whole lot of nothing for far too long now. It's time for you to sit down and shut up. You might say you're willing to go all out, and maybe you are. Who knows, you might wake up tomorrow all sullen and downtrought. The point is, I don't give a ****. You mean nothing to me, clown. You're a joke. Not even a good one, bros equis. You're like the punchline to a Carlos Mencia joke. Everyone's begging for it to stop and nobody knows when it's over. Well, I'll tell you when it's over, sinner clown guy.
You might be able to defeat me with black mist and underhanded tactics, but there's no way you can defeat Chaos Cult and everything we stand for. My brothers have my back and at the end of the day, you can't beat all of us. Thanks for keeping the gold warm for me, it's gonna look great on my shoulder.
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Apr 22, 2009 15:37:23 GMT -5
"Voices" by Rev Theory begins to play. Koda comes down to the ring with the Heatz! title over his shoulder. He gets into the ring and grabs a mic. I have seen several sinners around here in WWCF as of late. And trust me, I know all about sins. You may not know this, but the source of my insanity is these voices I have in my head. No...not voices, persons. I share this body with Seven other people, and each one of them is the embodiment of a Deadly Sin. And I am going to rid this federation of all sinners. Starting with, Viva! Viva, you know what your sin is? Sloth. You want to know why no one takes you serious? Because you are too lazy to do anything worthwhile! You sit around all day consuming drugs. You....yo...y...VIVA! YOU HAVE snorkED UP BIG TIME! AT THE PPV, YOU WON'T BE FACING THE KODA YOU KNOW! YOU WILL BE FACING ME, WRATH! I WILL snork YOU UUUUUPPPPP!!!!!!!!Sorry about that Viva....Wrath is always pissed off. But he is right. You will be lucky to escape the PPV alive. You see, you will be facing Wrath, because I REALLY want to keep my gold. You see, I'm Greed and I won't let some undeserving, lazy stoner walk away with my possessions! I crave everything! Money! Sex! And of course, Championships!You see, Viva, you hardly know me, and I'm willing to truly go all out on you. HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!Koda drops the mic and heads to the back. Look, buudddyy. You've been spouting off at the mouth saying a whole lot of nothing for far too long now. It's time for you to sit down and shut up. You might say you're willing to go all out, and maybe you are. Who knows, you might wake up tomorrow all sullen and downtrought. The point is, I don't give a ****. You mean nothing to me, clown. You're a joke. Not even a good one, bros equis. You're like the punchline to a Carlos Mencia joke. Everyone's begging for it to stop and nobody knows when it's over. Well, I'll tell you when it's over, sinner clown guy.
You might be able to defeat me with black mist and underhanded tactics, but there's no way you can defeat Chaos Cult and everything we stand for. My brothers have my back and at the end of the day, you can't beat all of us. Thanks for keeping the gold warm for me, it's gonna look great on my shoulder.
You are just the first of my targets. Chaos Cult will fall one by one to me. I will take you all out and you will regret the day you messed with me!
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Viva
Dennis Stamp
THAT'S MY PURSE! *kick to the groin*
You can dance if you want to.
Posts: 4,099
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Post by Viva on Apr 22, 2009 16:41:46 GMT -5
Look, buudddyy. You've been spouting off at the mouth saying a whole lot of nothing for far too long now. It's time for you to sit down and shut up. You might say you're willing to go all out, and maybe you are. Who knows, you might wake up tomorrow all sullen and downtrought. The point is, I don't give a ****. You mean nothing to me, clown. You're a joke. Not even a good one, bros equis. You're like the punchline to a Carlos Mencia joke. Everyone's begging for it to stop and nobody knows when it's over. Well, I'll tell you when it's over, sinner clown guy.
You might be able to defeat me with black mist and underhanded tactics, but there's no way you can defeat Chaos Cult and everything we stand for. My brothers have my back and at the end of the day, you can't beat all of us. Thanks for keeping the gold warm for me, it's gonna look great on my shoulder.
You are just the first of my targets. Chaos Cult will fall one by one to me. I will take you all out and you will regret the day you messed with me!*Viva chortles loudly, then looks towards the crowd and makes the "coo-coo" hand gesture.* Yeah, good luck with that.
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Jonathan Michaels
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
The Archduke of Levity
Here since TNA was still kinda okay
Posts: 18,230
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Post by Jonathan Michaels on Apr 22, 2009 21:11:23 GMT -5
Regarding my promo, did everyone get the whole "Stressed Out, Slowly Losing His Mind" vibe I tried to put out there?
Also, I was thinking we should maybe do a SNME style opening vignette for the PPV with a few of us doing brief little promos.
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littlenaitch
Dennis Stamp
Stylin' and Profilin'
Hall of Famer!!
Posts: 4,160
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Post by littlenaitch on Apr 23, 2009 1:57:53 GMT -5
Littlenaitch is seen working out at a local gym when he notices the camera.
Littlenaitch - This Monday night at Smurf the World, I finally get my opportunity to wrestle for the World Heavyweight Championship. This is going to be the third match within like 4 or 5 months between Colt and myself with me winning the last one inside a fifteen foot high steel cage. I want to thank my good friend Tyfo for allowing me this opportunity. Now, I don't like how he left Colt hanging but hey, he did what he had to so you can't really blame him. Now, I have been in the gym since yesterday training as hard as I can to prepare myself for this gigantic match. I am definately going to be giving it my all even though I have huge respect for the champion but come bell time, I will do whatever it takes to win that title. Nothing is going to stop me from becoming the new Heavyweight Champion of the World!!
Littlenaitch wipes the sweat off his face before he continues.
Littlenaitch - Colt my friend, I am prepared to bleed a gusher if I have to in order to become the new World Heavyweight Champion. I have been watching the footage of our last two matches and have been taking notes down noting what I did wrong and writing down your weaknesses. Colt, you may claim you have no weaknesses which is fine but I will expose them this Monday night live on pay-per-view. I really do hope Colt, that you are one hundred percent focus on this match and are not distracted as I want you at your best. I know you may not be one hundred percent physically after that two on one beatdown but I know you can overcome that. Colt, you better be one hundred percent focused on me cause if you're not, this match wont last very long. I hope all the fans are ready for this match as well as they are going to see the greatest WWCF World Heavyweight Title match in this company's nine month history as Colt and myself are going to tear the house down!! Colt, be ready for the fight of your life as I am bringing everything to this match so again Colt, BE READY!!!!
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Square
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Official Ambassador
Grand Poobah of Scavenger Hunts 2011
Square-Because he looks good at all the right angles.
Posts: 18,701
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Post by Square on Apr 23, 2009 2:04:28 GMT -5
Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the stupidest gimmi...wait theres Evil La Parka, Seth Drakin and TTS. Nevermind
Kid a bit of advice, stay FAR away from my path otherwise I'll wipe the smirk of your face Being a tad harsh there aren't we? I mean, he's new and trying to get his foot in the door here. Least you could do is show him some respect.
Hello Relegate, I'm the Head Detective Aaron Enigma, welcome to the WWCF. Not everyone is as closed-minded as Square here, but he can't really come around because he can't roll at all. Yes I know, bad pun but whatever. Point is you probably won't get a match on STW, but I expect to see ya on Heatz in the near future showing people what you can do.(Just in case people don't get the pun..he's SQUARE. If you don't get it after that...I'm...sorry?) BOOOOOOOOOOO!
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Post by thesam07 on Apr 23, 2009 6:48:21 GMT -5
Hajar_Heat.com The #1 source for WWCF Newz.
* Smurf The World is this Monday night. The card so far will feature grbjazzman and M.O.P. in singles competition, Legion vs Headbanger Man vs Stevierichardsfan w/ Eli, Viva Los Bio Dome vs Koda for the WWCF Heatz title in a bullwhip ladder match, Evil Masked Wordlifeecw vs Jonathan Michaels for the WWCF Hardcore title, RoughnReady w/The Sam versus Un-American heroes for the Tag Team titles, Motor Colt vs Naitch for the WWCF World title, and Jonathan Michaels, KGX, Aaron Enigma, Evil Masked wordlifeecw, The Tank, M.O.P., Krazy E-Man, Tyfo, "Evil La Parka", Stryker Dark Silence, Cthulhu, grbjazzman, Starshine, MiLo Duck, Seth Drakin, Above Average in the first ever WWCf Battlebowl. I will give my predictions next week.
* Sources say that former WWE superstar Taz will be debuting at STW. No one is sure in what capacity he will be performing in. Either doing autographs, being a referee, sitting at ringside or winning the World title in a Dusty finish. Taz's people have yet to say whether or not he is actually competing at this event.
* The Sam has reportedly gotten into a fight backstage with Jesse King. The Sam has said on numerous occasions that he feels that he could do a better job at color commentating than Jesse and that he feels WWCF are relying on outsiders with no experience. The brawl happened at a recent house show and it appears Jesse won after giving The Sam a "Nipple Cripple". The Sam then reportedly cried like a baby before running into Daves office. The Sam has a huge political stroke in WWCF and it appears this may be the end of Jesse King. More on this as it develops.
* And finally, The Tank has reportedly spent the last 2 weeks on the set of his latest film venture "Electro Robo Boogie Bot 2". Tank will be playing the lead role as "Tanky McTankerton" who is befriended with an Electric Robo Boogie Bot 2. And his best friend is a talking pie. The film is set to be released around August during WWCF Gookermania 2.
~ Mave Deltzer
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2009 7:40:58 GMT -5
De time be-a comin mon
De time wen de Ruff an Reddy be rainin on de Un 'mererican Zeeros
Na I-a maya dun lost a dun Battlin boll
But da made me wanna ta Ween ven mar
Da Tee Tee Ess dun made da Hoodoo Ritchals
I dun snuck inta Generals room
I stole him Monka
And I cut eet 'Ead off
I offa da Blood to da Loa
On exchan' fa de Loa be grantin ma eet Powa
Da Tee Tee Ess be wearin' da Powa of da Loa lyk a Sui'
And at De Smurfin da Wurl'
Ja be rainin wit da powa of da Loa
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Jazzman
King Koopa
Trombone Shorty > Your Favorite Musician
Posts: 11,231
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Post by Jazzman on Apr 23, 2009 19:22:03 GMT -5
No lie, I had to read that 5 times to understand it.
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littlenaitch
Dennis Stamp
Stylin' and Profilin'
Hall of Famer!!
Posts: 4,160
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Post by littlenaitch on Apr 24, 2009 2:03:20 GMT -5
I understood it barely the first time.
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