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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Dec 5, 2009 17:44:38 GMT -5
Hello everyone. Kevin and I, as you now know, are on a mission - a mission to find where a certain FORMER WCTNA Champion has gone. Now, Kevin and I put a lot of thought into this. Where could he have possibly gone? So we split duties, and well.. I'm here... at the gym. But it's not just any gym. It's a gym where Lashley likes to train along with his fellow MMA "athletes". Let's go take a look shall we?
We cut to inside the gym where Magnus wanders in to see a plethora of people working out and having sparring sessions. He shakes his head.
And these are the guys in the sport that is supposedly going to overtake us? Jeez...
Magnus wanders up behind one of them and turns them round.
Excuse me, can you tell me if you've see... OH MY GOD!
Kip James turns around to see Magnus standing there.
Hey there Brutus Magnus. Hey, you're the World Heavyweight Champion in WCTNA ain't ya?
Atleast you know SOMETHING about the greatest sport in the world. And you are?
Oh sorry. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Dan Severn. I used to wrestle too. You may remember me from... Actually you know what, you probably don't. I am a bit of a boring son of a bitch.
Most wrestlers would overlook your career in wrestling because you done absolutely buggar all. I guess that's why guys like you and Shamrock and Lashley went into this business eh? Because it's a weaker competition and you have a better chance of success right?
Why certainly. I tried dat pro wrestlin stuff, and well, let me just tell ya this - you guys are far tougher than the guys round here. I've actually held titles round here!
I knew it! Most of these MMA guys go on like this is tough stuff. If I came here, I'd be champ in NO TIME! However I actually like to challenge myself a little unlike you pathetic people. People like Bobby Lashley who tried their best at wrestling, and couldn't cut it. But WCTNA see this guy who is a multi-sport athlete and push him like he's God's gift. Then they conspired against me to make sure I lost the title to him. And then I beat him again anyway. So Ki... so Dan, you tell all the boys here to stay put, because if they dare come to WCTNA, they may well get the preferential treatment, they may get a push, they may get everything given to them on a silver platter... but they can't handle it.
Yes sir... right away sir. Mr. Magnus it's such a pleasure to have met you here today.
"Severn" bows to Magnus and runs away. Just then 4 other "MMA stars" approach Magnus.
Hey look it's the WCTNA Champ...
You wrestlers think you're so tough huh? How about we find out just how tough you really are!
The 4 men run at Magnus who back body drops one of them right onto the floor where he writhes in agony. He ducks a punch from another one of them causing the guy to punch through the wall. Magnus takes the opportunity to hit him with a neckbreaker.
The other two go for a double attack. Magnus shifts out of the way, then hiptosses one of them through a table. He goes to hit the other one, but he has now stood back frozen in fear with a damp patch on his shorts. Magnus shakes his head, grabs the guy and hits the Tormentum onto a table.
...Well I came here to try to find the Ultimate Fighting Loser - all I found was a plethora of WCTNA wannabes. Come back when you get some talent kids.
Magnus walks out the door with four "athletes" lying on the ground in agony.
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Dec 5, 2009 17:47:51 GMT -5
West: Magnus got the short straw there. Unless he choose to go to that gym. Tenay: Are you implying something? West: Not at all. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Tenay: well we are ready for Knockout tag team action.
Penzer: The following Knockout tag team match is set for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by Madison Rayne, the team of Angelina Love and Velvet Sky, the Beautiful People!
Penzer: There opponents, first, from Mexico City, Sarita!
Penzer: And and her partner, from San Francisco, California, she is the WCTNA Women's Knockout Champion, Alissa Flash!
3 votes 10 minutes
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comahan
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Posts: 17,899
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Post by comahan on Dec 5, 2009 17:50:34 GMT -5
Angelina with a million dollar kneelift on Sarita
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Post by MikeyMania on Dec 5, 2009 17:50:38 GMT -5
Flash with an island driver to Love.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2009 17:51:15 GMT -5
Flash with a............................I can't Sky with a superkick
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2009 17:52:53 GMT -5
Velvet with the world's greatest butt-butt!
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Dec 5, 2009 17:54:16 GMT -5
Flash with a............................I can't Sky with a superkick You could have utilized the loophole of voting for Sarita you know.
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Dec 5, 2009 18:01:23 GMT -5
Sarita takes control of Angelina when Madison jumps on the apron. This allows Velvet to come in and ilegally double team Sarita. Angelina and Velvet hit the Makeover then Velvet takes out Alissa as Angelina gets the cover. 1-2-3.
Penzer: Here are your winners, The Beautiful People
West: The Beautiful People used the numbers there. Tenay: But they won't be able to do that at Final Resolution. West: Now we can go to Kevin Nash and Brutus Magnus to see if they've found Lashley yet.
So Kev, you went to do some investigating? Any success?
Well, yes.
Really?
Yeah, I met this really good lookin' chick, her name's Ashley. She's waiting in the back of the van with Trace. Gonna be a fun night in Room 45C!
No Kevin! Not like that! I meant did you find Lashley?
Oh him. No.
Did you even look?
A little.
How'd you do?
All I found was a bunch of wannabe wrestlers who tried to fight me. They didn't walk out of their own accord.
Hmm. So two dead ends. Which lead us here.
Ahhh yes... you would imagine in times of distress and failure, people return to where they feel most comfortable... which brings us... here!
And where is here?
Nash and Magnus step aside, revealing a sign reading, "WELCOME TO STAMFORD, CT"
That's right. We've went "up north" to WCWWE Headquarters. Where it all began for a young Bobby Lashley. You see Bobby debuted here in WCWWE back in 2005 and Vince McMahon LOVED this guy. He saw a star before him. He knew he HAD to make this guy represent his company.... but the story has a sad ending.
Yes. You see, Bobby became a victim of his own hype. It happens to many a young wrestler and in some cases, it can kill a man's career.
Perhaps he fancied another crack at this place to see if they'd afford him the same gifts again. Let's go inside and find out.
*Cut screen to Brutus and Kevin standing inside "WCWWE Headquarters" reception, with a receptionist who looks remarkably like Traci Brooks.*
Welcome to WCWWE Headquarters! How may I assist you!
Hey, you look very familiar to me!
Yano what you kinda do... but I'm not so sure. My friend Kevin here... he's a busy man what with his girlfriend and all... but hey Brutus Magnus is scouring the market so to speak... so little lady, if you help us out then there might be a little something in it for you too.
*Giggles* You're cute. So, what can I do for you?
You're not hard on the eyes yourself sweetheart.
Brutus begins staring into her eyes, before Nash slaps him in the back.
Um.. oh yeah, we're looking for a Mr. Turd. That's Mr. Bath Turd. Has he been in? And can we meet up with him?
Can you describe him please?
He's a black dude with muscles.
Oh, he went in there.
*Points off-screen*
Thanks. C'mon Bruti, let's get 'im!
Brutus and Kevin storm into another room looking determined. They find a black dude with muscles facing away from them and lifting tiny weights.
AHA! Got you now!
Magnus grabs him by the shoulder and turns him round to reveal Consequences Creed.
Hey guys... what's happening?
You?! ....What's his name?!
Boy, I knew were pretty low in the ranks, but I had no idea just how low you'd go!
Whathcu talkin' bou-
Nash sucker punches Creed. He and Magnus beat him down, then Nash hit's the Jackknife. He then picks him up and tosses him to Brutus, who hit's Tormentum!
Well. That didn't go exactly as I'd hoped.
Eh, we tried. We can only do so much though.
Oh well... I'm gonna go get that hot chick's number. At least this wasn't a total waste.
Brutus walks out.
Yeah, go get 'er Bru- wait a minute! Hot chick?! BRUTI!!! WAIT!!!
Nash runs after Brutus as the scene ends.
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Dec 5, 2009 18:05:34 GMT -5
*Raven comes down to the ring.*
Tomorrow night is WCTNA Final Resolution. And looking at the show, it has one hell of a card. Brutus Magnus defending the World Title against Kevin Nash. Shawn Daivari defending the Legends title against Team 3D and Kiyoshi. My, heh, "friend" Daffney and Tara taking on Taylor Wilde and Hamada with the Knockout tag titles at stake. I'll be particularly keeping and eye on that one. But most of all we will see the match more than a decade in the making. Raven v Richards.
This goes all the way back to ECW. When I made my ECW debut in 1995, Stevie Richards was at my side. All throughout my ECW tenure, Stevie Richards was my right hand man. When I was feuding with Tommy Dreamer and The Sandman,
Then when I went to WCW, Stevie came with me. And we started a new flock that we Then he started complaining. He wanted something bigger. He expected me to stick my neck out and risk my job security for him. And that was the end of Raven and Richards.
Since then our paths never crossed until now. While I have enjoyed success Stevie has been a joke. I and a former ECW and NWA champion. I have held the WWE Hardcore title a record 26 times. While you played the fool.
It was inevitable when I returned to WCTNA that our paths would cross. Now you call yourself a doctor. Once again you wish to be something you are not. Pawns can never be players, Stevie. In a mere 24 hours, you will find that out first hand. Quote the Raven, nevermore.
Something I'm not? That's an interesting way of putting it, Scotty. Aren't we all just pretending in life? Thousands pretend each and every day in order to avoid their own dark, bleak reality. The thing that makes you different is that you find a way to embraced it, almost love it.
You can talk about history all you want and I think if given the chance you would but the fact remains. Every single thing that has happened between us over the past twelve years all comes to ahead in 24 hours and it will be our Final Resolution. We know the things we'll do, we'll bleed, we'll suffer, we may even kill each other to make sure that we're the one still standing when it's all said and done.
History is doomed to repeat itself one way or another but there are those who like to rewrite the book along the way rather than take a line from Edgar Allan Poe. Tomorrow, we rewrite Stevie vs. Raven, another chapter to the book and I'm not going to spoil the finish for you but there won't be a meeting of doctors.
Consider yourself lucky for once in your dismal excuse at being a human being. I can't lay a finger on you tonight but that ends in 24 hours and so will the legacy of our battles. At Final Resolution, the Raven flies no more.
*Mick Foley comes out to the stage*
Well I'm glad someone actually cares to obey me around here. But Stevie, you are right. Tomorrow night will be brutal, it will be bloody. That's why we need a referee to keep a lid on things. An impartial official who knows what it's like to get hardcore. I have just the man in mind, like me get him for you.
*Mick heads down the tunnel. After a few moments he returns only he is now wearing the famous "Wanted Dead" Cactus Jack shirt.*
See your referee will be none other than the hardcore legend himself, Cactus Jack! You wanted Cactus, Raven, you've got him! And you know what? This match is now a Texas Death Match!
BANG BANG!
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Post by MikeyMania on Dec 5, 2009 18:05:47 GMT -5
Oh that Magnus.
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Dec 5, 2009 18:08:32 GMT -5
I told AA, those skits were funny. A laughed quite a bit when he sent them to me.
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Dec 5, 2009 18:08:51 GMT -5
Tenay: And now it's time for our main event. West: Magnus had no luck finding Bobby Lashley but he has got Scott Steiner. Tenay: Earlier Steiner got thrown into the steps by Magnus' Final Resolution opponent so he may not be 100% here.
Penzer: The following contest is our iMPACT main event sceduled for one fall.
Penzer: Introducing first, accompanied by Jenna Morasca, from Detroit, Michigan, weighing 280 pounds, "Big Poppa Pump" Scott Steiner!
Penzer: And from the United Kingdom, weighing 240 pounds, he is the WCTNA World Heavyweight Champion, Brutus Magnus!
3 votes 10 minutes
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2009 18:11:02 GMT -5
Steiner with the Steiner Screwdriver!
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comahan
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Posts: 17,899
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Post by comahan on Dec 5, 2009 18:12:11 GMT -5
Magnus with a European Uppercut
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2009 18:15:21 GMT -5
Magnus shows Steiner exactly what Willis is talkin' bout
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Dec 5, 2009 18:19:05 GMT -5
Steiner is able to overpower Magnus when Kevin Nash comes down the aisle. Steiner starts yelling at Nash which allows Magnus to get a quick rollup. 1-2-3.
Penzer: Here is your winner, Brutus Magnus!
Nash gets in the ring and applauds as Magnus grins and holds the belt aloft.
Tenay: Nash and Magnus are all smiles tonight but they'll be opponents tomorrow. West: I can't wait for that. Tenay: See you then. Goodnight folks.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2009 18:22:40 GMT -5
Great show PN. Also, I think those may have been the longest promos I've ever written.
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Dec 5, 2009 18:23:24 GMT -5
Thanks to AA, Evil M, mikey, comahan and that Perpetual Nirvana guy for the promos.
Thanks to all of you who showed up to vote.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2009 18:25:57 GMT -5
Why're you thanking that Perpetual jerkwad? Is it cause he's sleeping with the bosses daughter?
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Dec 5, 2009 18:32:37 GMT -5
He earned his push damnit!
From WCTNA.com:
- Southern Justice, GBH & Tomko v Scott Steiner, Kurt Angle, Beer Money & Abyss in a ten man tag match has been added to the Final Resolution card.
- The final Final Resolution card:
WCTNA World Heavyweight Championship Brutus Magnus © v Kevin Nash
Matt Morgan & Sting v Christopher Daniels & AJ Styles
Ultimate X #1 Contenders match D'Angelo Dinero v Samoa Joe v Petey Williams v Consequences Creed v Suicide v Amazing Red
WCTNA World Tag Titles Murder City Machine Guns © v Jay Lethal & a mystery partner
WCTNA Legends title Shawn Daivari © v Kiyoshi v Brother Ray v Brother Devon
Texas Death Match Dr Stevie v Raven Special Referee: Cactus Jack
WCTNA Women's Knockout title Alissa Flash © v Sarita v Angelina Love
WCTNA Knockout Tag title Daffney & Tara © v Taylor Wilde & Hamada
Southern Justice, GBH & Tomko v Scott Steiner, Kurt Angle, Beer Money & Abyss
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