Post by thwak is T.hawk on Oct 1, 2009 6:52:31 GMT -5
Now we all know that uwe boll is a director of countless bad videogame to movie adaptations. But here's an interesting theory I'm going to share with you, what if he made those films bad on purpose?
Now yeah that sounds crazy, why would any film director make a film bad on purpose. But what if I were to tell you that uwe boll is crazy enough to do that and his purpose in doing so was to satirize american cinema.
Here's where this crazy theory comes in, if you do look at uwe boll's films there are various scenes in them that seem overdone. These scenes seem so overdone that it makes you wonder why anyone would keep them in a film, but let's say that person who kept them in wanted the scene to poke fun at american film making. Now the scene has a weird metaphorical tone that only uwe boll would be insane enough to film.
Here's some scenes that I think point to this as being done on purpose.
- In house of the dead there's a scene where the camera constantly zooms around characters in a bad matrix effect. This could be seen as satirizing everyone using matrix slo-mo at that time.
- In bloodrayne all the blood effects are overdone and in one particular scene people are beating a dead corpse very lazily while blood continues to pour out. This could be seen as a criticism of horror movies just being blood and gore effects.
- In bloodrayne 2 there's a multitude of shots where people are just getting ready to go to places. This could be a parody of scenes in various westerns of people doing the same thing.
- In postal all the gross out humor is overdone. Probably a satire of gross out humor in american comedies.
Finally this leaves Alone in the Dark which has several scenes that seem like they're satirizing american cinema.
- a random sex scene between tera reid and christian slater.
- a scene where christian slater is looking around only for there to be nothing following him.
- a scene where someone attacks christian slater and the attacker will just not die no matter how many horrible things happen to him.
- tara reid being cast as a scientist (come on no one on earth would buy that).
and finally,
- a scene where a special effect bullet actually misses the target. That meant that someone intentionally made it so that the special effect would be laughably bad.
Now I know this theory could be false and Uwe Boll could just be a really horrible director. But I think with all the evidence presented here there seems to be something up with how Uwe goes about making his movies.
Edit: I also noticed that all my paragraphs happen to start with the words "now" and "here's". Perhaps I'm up to something weird with this topic... or I just have a bad vocabulary.
Now yeah that sounds crazy, why would any film director make a film bad on purpose. But what if I were to tell you that uwe boll is crazy enough to do that and his purpose in doing so was to satirize american cinema.
Here's where this crazy theory comes in, if you do look at uwe boll's films there are various scenes in them that seem overdone. These scenes seem so overdone that it makes you wonder why anyone would keep them in a film, but let's say that person who kept them in wanted the scene to poke fun at american film making. Now the scene has a weird metaphorical tone that only uwe boll would be insane enough to film.
Here's some scenes that I think point to this as being done on purpose.
- In house of the dead there's a scene where the camera constantly zooms around characters in a bad matrix effect. This could be seen as satirizing everyone using matrix slo-mo at that time.
- In bloodrayne all the blood effects are overdone and in one particular scene people are beating a dead corpse very lazily while blood continues to pour out. This could be seen as a criticism of horror movies just being blood and gore effects.
- In bloodrayne 2 there's a multitude of shots where people are just getting ready to go to places. This could be a parody of scenes in various westerns of people doing the same thing.
- In postal all the gross out humor is overdone. Probably a satire of gross out humor in american comedies.
Finally this leaves Alone in the Dark which has several scenes that seem like they're satirizing american cinema.
- a random sex scene between tera reid and christian slater.
- a scene where christian slater is looking around only for there to be nothing following him.
- a scene where someone attacks christian slater and the attacker will just not die no matter how many horrible things happen to him.
- tara reid being cast as a scientist (come on no one on earth would buy that).
and finally,
- a scene where a special effect bullet actually misses the target. That meant that someone intentionally made it so that the special effect would be laughably bad.
Now I know this theory could be false and Uwe Boll could just be a really horrible director. But I think with all the evidence presented here there seems to be something up with how Uwe goes about making his movies.
Edit: I also noticed that all my paragraphs happen to start with the words "now" and "here's". Perhaps I'm up to something weird with this topic... or I just have a bad vocabulary.
helped $lim jinx NXT. Woops