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Post by YellowJacketY2J on May 3, 2010 12:09:43 GMT -5
Kris Kobain. I understand you have an issue of sorts with our benevolent boss, Seth Drakin. Let me explain something to you.
Before Mr. Drakin came to power, this place was a cesspool, filled with lowlives and bottomfeeders and, as much as I hate to say this, I was the worst of the bunch. I willingly whored myself out in the most brutal matches possible, just to earn the adoration of the people. But thanks to my partner Yellow Jacket, as well as Mr. Drakin's kindness, I saw the light. Mr. Drakin saved me from possible career ending injuries. He has helped turn this company around, and I love him for it!
So if you have a problem with Mr. Drakin, you have a problem with me. Got it? Same goes for me.
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on May 3, 2010 13:32:31 GMT -5
Seth: How about...............NO. You're the worst CEO in the history of CEO's. This is unfair treatement. I'm calling the labor board, social services, border patrol. You name it I'm calling it. Seth: Sounds like someone needs to call the Waaa....mbulence
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2010 13:53:12 GMT -5
Oh one more thing, TTS, you are a great athlete but tomorrow night I get back to my winning ways and I might have to take out all my frustrations on you pal, so be forewarned!! I'm a great athlete? Athlete wear leotards and have fifteen different ways to cup another mans package and not be considered odd
You think you have Frustrations? I just listened to you come out here ramble and then throw me on the end like I'm a pickle on a value meal at the local Burger Shack of Crack
You wanna moan I've got plenty to moan about but I suck my shit up and hurt folk that's what you should do too
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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on May 3, 2010 15:59:01 GMT -5
*From the Boiler Room*
What's this? People are thinking that the Man in Black isn't real? That he's a paid actor? Has the WWCF roster gone CRAZY?
Why would I need a paid actor to make the fans like me, BRB? I didn't make anyone like me. The fans simply decided that I was all right. I mean, who could resist liking a man who managed to become WWCF's first double champion?
And I have news for the Revolution of Evolution. If honestly believe that the fans only like me, BRB, because I hold the WWCF's silver medal then you are sorely mistaken.
If you honestly believe that the Man in Black is a hoax to drum up some pathos, then you are sorely mistaken.
And if you honestly believe that this...
BRB jiggles the IF Belt on his shoulder
World Wrestle Crap Federation Inter-Forum Championship belt Is going to be taken off of my hands any time soon, then you will be sorely mistaken after I bury my big, massive, pipe wrench into your skull and take you to the Boiling Point!
I'm BRB, I'm with the Family, the Man in Black is for real, and I'm with Kris Ko-bain!
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2010 17:32:36 GMT -5
Blog from Spinerette.com (Sparks's official site)
Hey dudes. Sparks here. Still cooked up in this dreary hospital. The quacks say I am recovering well and expect to me to be back in action a week from now. Pretty good news. Anyway, let's get down to business.
Seth, There is no doubt in my mind that you were the one behing this atrocity. Amigo gave you a BJ under the boardroom desk and you granted his wishes. Surprising. Now, you seem to be having a problem with a rookie by the name of Kris Koban. You know why he has a problem with you? Because of you and your corporate BS.
Frankly, I think we're all tired of this corporate BS. I didn't come to the WWCF to be involved in all this. I came here to wrestle. It's my passion. I came here to make a name for myself. To show my talents to a world audience. This isn't Capitol Hill. I like being on top and have an influence as much as the next guy, but there are standards, people!
A lot of people were wanting to see that one-on-one match between me and Amigo, but the "powers that be" had to interfere and turn it in favor of that ingrate. Don't you think that it would increase the buyrates if that match was what everyone wanted it to be? But what do I care? I'm just a meat puppet on a string, being manipulated by the black hand of corporate corruption.
If I recall, a certain 'partner' said that if he he has to put a 12-gauge shotgun in your face to get his way, he'll do it. I have been asking for this match for maybe a YEAR...I don't know what I have to do to get you to sign on the dotted line, if I have to beat you down in your own home or office or wherever, I'll do it...I think I had a revelation. Amigo's not the real enemy here. Sure, he did some really bad things to me, but that was because YOU were behind it all. YOU, Seth, are the true enemy. And if I have to do anything and I mean ANYTHING to get my match...I'll gladly do it...
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on May 3, 2010 18:17:36 GMT -5
Seth: Sparks....Sparks....Sparks.....tsk tsk tsk. You should know that you made that insane decision of allowing Amigo to make the stipulations. I would have never made that ruling because let's be honest..........I am not blinded by what I want.
You are merely blaming me for what happened to you at the hands of Amigo. But I hate to say this, but I gave you your shot at Amigo. You knew damn well that Amigo was very much off his rocker and you did piss him off by costing him a shot at the world title.
My problems with Kris are the same as my problem with Viva was. He wants everything handed to him on a silver platter and doesnt respect this business enough to earn it. Now Viva eventually learned to play ball and earn his world title and while he and I may personally hate each other, I won't let my personal hatred get in the way of doing what is best for business.
Sparks, since you want to be ungrateful for the stuff I gave you....including your chance to finally get your hands on Amigo, I will not do that again. If you want another shot at Amigo, you are going to have to either get him to accept or you are going to have to pray that Amigo becomes Champion of something and you become the number one contender, thus he would be contractually be forced to face you.
That is all I have to say to you on this matter and trust me, it does pain me to do this as I kind of like you.
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2010 18:44:14 GMT -5
Seth: Sparks....Sparks....Sparks.....tsk tsk tsk. You should know that you made that insane decision of allowing Amigo to make the stipulations. I would have never made that ruling because let's be honest..........I am not blinded by what I want.
You are merely blaming me for what happened to you at the hands of Amigo. But I hate to say this, but I gave you your shot at Amigo. You knew damn well that Amigo was very much off his rocker and you did piss him off by costing him a shot at the world title.
My problems with Kris are the same as my problem with Viva was. He wants everything handed to him on a silver platter and doesnt respect this business enough to earn it. Now Viva eventually learned to play ball and earn his world title and while he and I may personally hate each other, I won't let my personal hatred get in the way of doing what is best for business.
Sparks, since you want to be ungrateful for the stuff I gave you....including your chance to finally get your hands on Amigo, I will not do that again. If you want another shot at Amigo, you are going to have to either get him to accept or you are going to have to pray that Amigo becomes Champion of something and you become the number one contender, thus he would be contractually be forced to face you.
That is all I have to say to you on this matter and trust me, it does pain me to do this as I kind of like you. Okay. Fine. Abuse your power. Let these over-paid slimeballs hold rookies like me down...but when push comes to shove, and it boils down to physical force...so be it.
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Johnny B. Decent
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Had one once
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on May 3, 2010 20:35:32 GMT -5
If this means he'll stop e-stalking me, and move on with his life, I'm all for it.
Maybe can change back my car locks again.
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on May 3, 2010 20:53:01 GMT -5
Seth: Sparks....Sparks....Sparks.....tsk tsk tsk. You should know that you made that insane decision of allowing Amigo to make the stipulations. I would have never made that ruling because let's be honest..........I am not blinded by what I want.
You are merely blaming me for what happened to you at the hands of Amigo. But I hate to say this, but I gave you your shot at Amigo. You knew damn well that Amigo was very much off his rocker and you did piss him off by costing him a shot at the world title.
My problems with Kris are the same as my problem with Viva was. He wants everything handed to him on a silver platter and doesnt respect this business enough to earn it. Now Viva eventually learned to play ball and earn his world title and while he and I may personally hate each other, I won't let my personal hatred get in the way of doing what is best for business.
Sparks, since you want to be ungrateful for the stuff I gave you....including your chance to finally get your hands on Amigo, I will not do that again. If you want another shot at Amigo, you are going to have to either get him to accept or you are going to have to pray that Amigo becomes Champion of something and you become the number one contender, thus he would be contractually be forced to face you.
That is all I have to say to you on this matter and trust me, it does pain me to do this as I kind of like you. Okay. Fine. Abuse your power. Let these over-paid slimeballs hold rookies like me down...but when push comes to shove, and it boils down to physical force...so be it. Seth: Wait.....you want to fight me? Well, I would be more than happy to slap the taste out of your mouth, but I have to tell you that..................I can't. I can't because there is this little clause now that Little Naitch needs to give his permission for me to fight you.
So guess what......you get LN to do that and I will fight you. You see unlike Amigo, I am not going to hide from you because YOU ARE NOT WORTH THE EFFORT!!!!!
And if you can beat me, I will make sure Amigo fights you and it will be at Gookermania 3 and it will be a match where he can't run and he can't hide.
This is coming from somebody who despite your associations and my hatred for some of its members, is not your enemy.
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Johnny B. Decent
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on May 3, 2010 21:15:16 GMT -5
I am about as afraid of Sparks as I am of a Lime, Seth. It's called trying to win a title. An effort I have noticed you have hindered in the past.
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on May 3, 2010 21:56:01 GMT -5
I am about as afraid of Sparks as I am of a Lime, Seth. It's called trying to win a title. An effort I have noticed you have hindered in the past. Seth: I am giving two members of the Human Hate Machines a tag title shot at Championship Heatz. If you chose to be one of the two, you get a tag title shot and you can stop complaining. If you chose not to be one of the two, that is all your damn fault so dont complain.
I used to be like you in avoiding facing a man by the name of Little Naitch. You know what that bastard did when he finally got me one on one??? He put a dog collar on me and broke my jaw. You may want to consider that before continuing to make excuses for ducking Sparks.
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Johnny B. Decent
Patti Mayonnaise
Had one once
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on May 3, 2010 22:00:24 GMT -5
I am about as afraid of Sparks as I am of a Lime, Seth. It's called trying to win a title. An effort I have noticed you have hindered in the past.
I used to be like you in avoiding facing a man by the name of Little Naitch. You know what that bastard did when he finally got me one on one??? He put a dog collar on me and broke my jaw. You may want to consider that before continuing to make excuses for ducking Sparks. Yeah, and I set him on fire, among other things.
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on May 3, 2010 23:32:10 GMT -5
I used to be like you in avoiding facing a man by the name of Little Naitch. You know what that bastard did when he finally got me one on one??? He put a dog collar on me and broke my jaw. You may want to consider that before continuing to make excuses for ducking Sparks. Yeah, and I set him on fire, among other things. Seth: Yeah, with your friends.....
If you face him alone in a match where you cant hide or escape, I would love to see it.
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Johnny B. Decent
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on May 3, 2010 23:39:01 GMT -5
Yeah, and I set him on fire, among other things. Seth: Yeah, with your friends.....
If you face him alone in a match where you cant hide or escape, I would love to see it. Big f***ing deal.
Here, let me use an analogy here: I'd defeat him as easy as it was for you to get out of shape once you were forced to retire.
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2010 23:46:01 GMT -5
Seth: Yeah, with your friends.....
If you face him alone in a match where you cant hide or escape, I would love to see it. Big f***ing deal.
Here, let me use an analogy here: I'd defeat him as easy as it was for you to get out of shape once you were forced to retire. Okay...what's the logic here?
First, you were so keen on avoiding a one-on-one match with and NOW you decide it's no big deal? Are you naturally this ignorant? MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND.
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Johnny B. Decent
Patti Mayonnaise
Had one once
Everybody's Favorite Arizonian.
Posts: 31,075
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on May 4, 2010 0:06:02 GMT -5
As I was busy trying to ascend past Seth's holding of me down, forcing me to babysit you. Now that it looks like I FINALLY have a title shot, I hardly care even less about you now.
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Post by Kris Kobain on May 4, 2010 0:20:27 GMT -5
Let's clear this up once and for all. I don't respect the business? I go out there week after week and bust my ass to entertain the millions of Kobainites around the world! You're ridiculous if you think anything other than that. I give the corporate lackeys something to talk about the next day around the water cooler. I give the kiddies a hero to emulate. Someone to look up to besides these Justin Bobers and Hannah Minnestoa's of the world. Yes I demand respect and my track record is very deserving of such. People come to the arena to see the greatest star in the history of stars not some washed up has been in a Kmart blue light special suit. I would say you throw me in the ring with beached whales like The Hangman but that would be an insult to beached whales. Bring your little evil army of bees. The slightest spark can ignite a flame and where there's a flame there's sure to be an afterburn! Cue the music clowns.
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Post by delurked on May 4, 2010 12:27:59 GMT -5
A WWCF.com exclusive: Jerry Fish: Its time for another installment of "Tuesdays with Titan", where we get the Monster of the Mesozoic Age's thoughts on the topics of the day. First up: your match with the newly re-hired Dream Warrior last Sunday night on Heatz!. Titanothere (in helmet and ring gear): I've got to say I was disappointed in the level of competition I faced, Jerry. The World WrestleCrap Federation is supposed to be made up of the best of the best, but Dream Warrior showed nothing to me on Sunday. Fish: And yet you requested a rematch with him. Why is that? Titan: Well, just like WWCF Management, I'm a firm believer in second chances. Dream Warrior, consider this me calling you out. Prove to everyone in the WWCF Galaxy you belong here, Warrior. Otherwise you might as well take Kris Kobain's advice and quit. Fish: Speaking of Kobain, do you plan on signing his petition to have Seth Drakin removed as CEO of the World WrestleCrap Federation? Titan (chuckling): No. I might not like everything Mr. Drakin does, or how he tends to play favorites and hold grudges, but I don't think he deserves to be fired. He and Commissioner Morton have a tough job trying to maintain order while keeping the fans, the WWCF shareholders, and the boys in the back happy. (snorts) Kobain is only doing this petition shtick for attention anyway. Things aren't perfect, especially if you get on the boss's bad side, but it could be a heck of a lot worse. Fish: So, after two months in the WWCF, how would you describe your time here? Titan: Great. I am wrestling in the world's premiere federation. My debut match was at a Pay Per View and for a chance to win the Tag Team Belts. I've had opportunities to compete in the Tournament of Honor, fight for the Number One Contendership for the Hardcore Title, and even very briefly be Number One Contender for the Inter Forum Championship. I may not have gotten the gold any of those times, but that's because I am wrestling against the best athletes in the sport. My time is close; I can feel it. All I need is one last advantage to put me over the hump. I am still thinking big, and will one day realize my dream of becoming a WWCF champion.
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on May 4, 2010 15:01:30 GMT -5
*We see Seth Drakin in his office*
Seth: Well it seems we have the number one contender for the World Title in Jay Carrol. If you missed the end, Viva has given Jay Carrol a one on one match at Championship Heatz.
Which leaves us to the number one contender for the Championship of Honor. Now as a former Champion of Honor, I think......
*crackle* *crackle*
Now alot of people wonder why I don't like the Brawler And my answer is
The reason that I want to cripple,wound,maim,brutalize,manhandle,rape,annihilate,gouge,defenestrate and hurt the man is..............Just because frankly
Just everything about him combine in flaming hurricane of things that make me see Bright Red and seeth
But don't worry there Hombre's I don't like to disappoint so I'm going to talk about what he's going to look afterwards
Now all of you at home take a Chameleon now put him on a piece of hot pink construction paper now take some multicolored confetti and sprinkle it on top of him now and here's where it gets tricky put him in an all white room with a Disco Ball and laser light show set up and turn it on
Now after you turn the lights back on and look at the walls you'll know what's to come
*crackle* *crackle*
Seth: And that is my opinion on who the number one contender should be.
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Post by Kris Kobain on May 4, 2010 17:27:02 GMT -5
*We see Kris Kobain walking out of the the trainers room with his head bandaged.
"You people talk about my jokes. The only joke around here is our CEO Sandy Duncan. It's now clear to me that this was all and elaborate conspiracy orchestrated by you and your little henchmen. *Kris claps Bravo. Lure me in with your clear biased towards me. Distract me with that poor excuse for a mime Dream Warrior and then throw me in with that maniac The Hangman. You people talk about my lack of dedication. My lack of respect for the sport? I have 15 stitches in my head! I went out there and put on a clinic of exactly what this company needs to be and what do I get? Brutally attacked as a result? The Hangman is not fit to be with the rest of civilization. You need to take all your hardcore monkies and put them in a padded cell together where they belong! Don't let them out until they kill each other and there is only one left. Then strap him to a rocket and shoot him into the sun. It seems as though I'm the hot topic right now in the WWCF. People say I'm an attention seeker. People say I'm bothersome people. People say people say people say.....yet all I hear is kris kobain......kris kobAIN.....kris KOBAIN.......KRIS KOBAIN........KRIS KOBAIN!
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