Book the worst Wrestlemania part Deux

[The Peoples Elbow]

This worked so well last year and gave us so many laughs, that I decided to do a sequel.

Fellow 'crappers,

The road to WM is almost upon us. Your mission is to create a card so unholy and immoral that it completely destroys the integrity of either:

a. The WWE
b. The entire wrestling profession

Your choice (dependent on how crazy you want to get with your ideas).

Here's my contribution:

Undertaker vs. John Cena in a Guillotine match. After the match, it's revealed that there was a hidden stipulation in the contract that the loser loses his head. The madness ensues...

;D

[johnnyk9]

Hornswoggle vs. HHH- Hornswoggle WINS! Hornswoggle WINS!

Oh wait that wouldn't be a bad idea I love watching the ego driven HHH lose

[Tapout]

Hornswoggle's WWE Universe(TM)! Open:
Basically Hornswoggle running around the arena, grinning, doing DX crotch chops, and saying "Heh! Heh!" Over and over again. At first, the kids in the audience are delighted, but after 20 minutes when it's clear that he's not going to stop doing that, it gets very awkward in the arena. The camera starts cutting to crying children who are being comforted by their parents.

The finish: Michael Cole goes hoarse from fake-laughing too long. Lawler collapses under the table clutching two empty jugs of moonshine.


New Challenger Special Attraction Match:
Bryan Danielson & Low Ki vs. Shawn Michaels & John Cena.

The finish: After wrestling their hearts out for three hours straight, pulling out every heart-stopping highspot in the book against Michaels with zero commentary from a hoarse Michael Cole, Danielson and Low Ki immediately hop onto Cena's back and get a double FU Attitude Adjustment and take a pinfall loss. Because Cole wasn't able to deliver commentary, the match is pulled from the broadcast and DVD due to "quality control" issues. No one ever speaks of it again and the match never sees the light of day. Angry fans who attended the event live and want to see the match again on DVD are then invited to Stamford, CN where Vince McMahon uses the Men In Black memory wipe pen on them.


30-Minute Ultimate Battle of Giants:
The Great Khali vs. A Giant 8-Foot Mannikin, as part of an angle where Ranjin Singh brags that Khali "could wrestle a broomstick to a 5-star match"

The finish: The match ends in a no-contest with a spinebuster run-in on Khali from "Big" Dave Batista. Then, a basketball gently floats down from the balcony and bops him on the head, which makes him cry and magically turns him into an animated .gif of Peter Griffin.


An Hour of Increasing Your Word Power, Brought to You By Reader's Digest(TM):
Special Attraction event featuring Ahmed Johnson reading aloud from Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities: Wonton and Beef Stew

The finish: 59 minutes into the reading, the clock gets stuck, so Ahmed shrugs and keeps reading for another 45 minutes while the backstage crew desperately tries to fix it.


WWE Divas(TM) Workrate 60-minute Steel Cage Battle Royale:
Stacy Keibler vs. The Bellas vs. Maria vs. Terri Runnels vs. Torrie-In-A-Back-Brace.

The finish: Ric Flair in a dress gets pinned by Hogan.

[lizardking]

Jan 19, 2010 17:10:03 GMT -5 Tapout said:

Hornswoggle's WWE Universe(TM)! Open:
Basically Hornswoggle running around the arena, grinning, doing DX crotch chops, and saying "Heh! Heh!" Over and over again. At first, the kids in the audience are delighted, but after 20 minutes when it's clear that he's not going to stop doing that, it gets very awkward in the arena. The camera starts cutting to crying children who are being comforted by their parents.

The finish: Michael Cole goes hoarse from fake-laughing too long. Lawler collapses under the table clutching two empty jugs of moonshine.


New Challenger Special Attraction Match:
Bryan Danielson & Low Ki vs. Shawn Michaels & John Cena.

The finish: After wrestling their hearts out for three hours straight, pulling out every heart-stopping highspot in the book against Michaels with zero commentary from a hoarse Michael Cole, Danielson and Low Ki immediately hop onto Cena's back and get a double FU Attitude Adjustment and take a pinfall loss. Because Cole wasn't able to deliver commentary, the match is pulled from the broadcast and DVD due to "quality control" issues. No one ever speaks of it again and the match never sees the light of day. Angry fans who attended the event live and want to see the match again on DVD are then invited to Stamford, CN where Vince McMahon uses the Men In Black memory wipe pen on them.


30-Minute Ultimate Battle of Giants:
The Great Khali vs. A Giant 8-Foot Mannikin, as part of an angle where Ranjin Singh brags that Khali "could wrestle a broomstick to a 5-star match"

The finish: The match ends in a no-contest with a spinebuster run-in on Khali from "Big" Dave Batista. Then, a basketball gently floats down from the balcony and bops him on the head, which makes him cry and magically turns him into an animated .gif of Peter Griffin.


An Hour of Increasing Your Word Power, Brought to You By Reader's Digest(TM):
Special Attraction event featuring Ahmed Johnson reading aloud from Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities: Wonton and Beef Stew

The finish: 59 minutes into the reading, the clock gets stuck, so Ahmed shrugs and keeps reading for another 45 minutes while the backstage crew desperately tries to fix it.


WWE Divas(TM) Workrate 60-minute Steel Cage Battle Royale:
Stacy Keibler vs. The Bellas vs. Maria vs. Terri Runnels vs. Torrie-In-A-Back-Brace.

The finish: Ric Flair in a dress gets pinned by Hogan.

I didn't know Russo was booking Wrestlemania.

[Solid Stryk-Dizzle]

Jimmy Jacobs Vs. Necro Butcher in a singles match for the entire 4 hours.

[Slim Loves Lily]

Wrestlemania XXV AMIRITE GUYZ LOLZ?!?!

[KingPopper]

DX EXPLODES!!!:
Hornswoggle w. Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels

THE STREAK ON THE LINE:
The Undertaker vs. Big Dick Johnson

SPECIAL GUEST ANNOUNCER THE FINK!:
Justin Roberts vs. Tony Chimel

THE KING COMES TO WRESTLEMANIA:
Jerry Lawler vs. Matt Striker

THE SCREW JOB:
Vince McMahon vs. Natalya

THE BATTLE FOR SMACKDOWN:
Theodore Long vs. Vickie Guerrero

ONCE FRIENDS NOW ENEMIES:
Slam Master J vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

[crash1984]

100 Percent TRUE WRESTLING NEWZ Presents: The post wrestlemania wrap up.

Wrestlemania begins with a 10 minute video package of moments in Wrestlemania's past.

A five minute video plays hyping up all the upcomming matches

The Jonas Brothers come out to sing God Bless America

video plays hyping up Santino vs. Miz in a Second Childhood match

Santino vs. Miz begins

Buildup:After Miz kept getting humiliated by Santino, Miz took revenge by going to the preschool where Santino's son Martino attended and after pulling a gun on the teacher and tying her up to the table. Miz then viciously assaulted Martino. by tying him to a table and hitting him on his bare back with a belt multiple times and finally shooting him in the foot. This leads to the first ever second childhood match which is to take place in a school.

The Match: The match begins in the principals office and quickly moves to the auditorium. Miz disappears in the dark Auditorium and Santino has to find the light switch to turn on the lights when he does he sees Miz standing right behind him. They continue brawling into the library where Santino hits Miz with War and Peace. They then go in a music room and Miz pins Santino against the wall with a piano. After Santino escapes the go in a pre-K classroom. Miz dumps paint all over Santino. Eventually they wind up on the playground. Miz gets on a Power Wheels Jeep to escape as he is escaping he is clotheslined by Santino. They they go back inside the school and Miz piledrives Santino into the container of milk cartons and gets the win. Time of match 10:40

---

Chavo is seen putting filling a white Accord car up with Rhubarb.

---

Money in the Bank

A video is played hyping up money in the bank. This years money in the bank contains Finlay, C.M. Punk, The Great Khali, Mark Henry, Chris Masters, Sheamus, John Morrison, and Kofi Kingston. Before the match CHavo gets on the Titan Tron and says that he is going to California and he is not going alone. It then shows him putting an unconscious Hornswoggle in the trunk of his car. Chavo then says that he is going to leave Hornswoggle tied up out on the desert if Finlay does not get there by the end of Wrestlemania Finlay leaves and gets in the White Accord.

Money in the bank match:Khali quickly eliminates everyone. The briefcase falls and he picks it up and is declared the winner. He then gets on the microphone and sings the Joan of Arcadia theme

---

Chavo is seen driving and talking on a cell phone saying "Yeah he is driving a white 1992 Accord. He should be there in about an hour. You will take care of it? Good"

---

Undertaker vs. Evan Bourne- Powerbomb match

Undertaker vs. Evan Bourne Powerbomb match-While the referee is distracted Bourne uses a tazer on Undertaker. Bourne then tells the referee he powerbombed Undertaker and is declared the winner

---

As soon as the match ends Miley Cyrus comes out and performs Nobody's Perfect

---

Finlay is seen driving with a mileage sign that says California 75 sign

---

Cody Rhodes vs. Shawn Micheals:Can of creamed corn on a pole match

Background:Cody Rhodes recently lost some weight. When asked by Shawn about it Rhodes said that Dusty ate all the family's food and they are all starving. Micheals says he will buy the Rhodes family a weeks supply of groceries if Cody can beat him in a can of creamed corn on a pole match.

Finish: The match goes to a no contest after Dusty Rhodes steals the can of creamed corn and eats it.

---

Finlay is seen driving passing a sign that says California 35

---

Maryse & Michelle McCool vs The Bella Twins in a XXX match-This match involves _______, ________, and the __________ winning

---

Rey Mysterio vs. Batitsa for the WHC

Batista wins after hitting Mysterio with an urn said to contain Benoit's ashes

---

Finlay is seen arriving at California. At the Agricultural inspection he is stopped. After seeing the rhubarb he is told he is going to have his entire car searched and he will have some paperwork and it is expected to take four hours.

---

Cryme Tyme vs. Myme Tyme winner gets to keep the YME in their names.

Mime Tyme wins after hitting Cryme Tyme with invisible chairs

---

John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. HHH-As the opening bell rings 95% of the audience gets up and leaves. Triple H wins.

---

The show ends with Chavo knocking a Saguaro cactus over on Hornswoggle.