Post by Rorschach on Feb 23, 2010 5:28:04 GMT -5
was one of the most unintentionally hilarious things I've seen in MONTHS. I mean, this is supposed to be the second coming of a dastardly heel "pearl harboring" Hogan, right? So why were both guys pulling facial expressions out of an old Three Stooges short?
You've got Cena's PRICELESS expression of twisted cartoonish grief as Batista kicks him in the head, and steps on his neck, and that sound Cena made...WOW. What the f*** was that?
Then, you get dancin' Dave as he leaves the ring, and then when he turns BACK around, he makes an over the top facial expression and comes back after Cena....but instead of putting Cena down for the count, he merely beats Cena down in front of some obnoxious soldier in the audience who is doing his best "You Can't See Me!" hand wave to an oblivious Dave. Seeing as to how THIS is not phasing SuperCena, Dave makes ANOTHER goofy face and decides to ram Cena back first into the ringpost, which apparently triggers a seizure inside Cena's brain, as Cena spazzes and twitches on the ground like he's got 80,000 volts up his ass.
THEN after that....well, Batista decides to come back and finish the struggling Cena (whose expression by this point has gone from severe constipation, to mild retardation, and back to purple-faced constipation again. And I say that with no intent of offending retarded people....Cena's expression was EXACTLY like Ben Stiller's caricature "Simple Jack" from TROPIC THUNDER.) he decides to grab a CHAIR. Ok, so will Dave 'Pillmanize" Cena? Will he break a leg, or maybe a neck? Nope. He just waffles Cena with a weak ass chair shot to the back. And another one. And yet another one, all while Cena grunts and groans on the ground like a stuck hog.
I understand that the WWE frowns on direct headshots these days....but hell, it didn't have to be an unprotected shot to the head. They could have had Cena block most of it....point is, if you're coming back to "finish" someone with a chair....don't you usually hit them in the head with it? I mean, call me crazy, but in 22 years of watching this stuff....most of the time, that's how you "finish" someone with a chair. Especially if you're trying to be a sadistic monster like Batista.
So yeah. A segment meant to be dramatic and tense and shocking was, to me, downright hilarious.
Anyone else think so?
You've got Cena's PRICELESS expression of twisted cartoonish grief as Batista kicks him in the head, and steps on his neck, and that sound Cena made...WOW. What the f*** was that?
Then, you get dancin' Dave as he leaves the ring, and then when he turns BACK around, he makes an over the top facial expression and comes back after Cena....but instead of putting Cena down for the count, he merely beats Cena down in front of some obnoxious soldier in the audience who is doing his best "You Can't See Me!" hand wave to an oblivious Dave. Seeing as to how THIS is not phasing SuperCena, Dave makes ANOTHER goofy face and decides to ram Cena back first into the ringpost, which apparently triggers a seizure inside Cena's brain, as Cena spazzes and twitches on the ground like he's got 80,000 volts up his ass.
THEN after that....well, Batista decides to come back and finish the struggling Cena (whose expression by this point has gone from severe constipation, to mild retardation, and back to purple-faced constipation again. And I say that with no intent of offending retarded people....Cena's expression was EXACTLY like Ben Stiller's caricature "Simple Jack" from TROPIC THUNDER.) he decides to grab a CHAIR. Ok, so will Dave 'Pillmanize" Cena? Will he break a leg, or maybe a neck? Nope. He just waffles Cena with a weak ass chair shot to the back. And another one. And yet another one, all while Cena grunts and groans on the ground like a stuck hog.
I understand that the WWE frowns on direct headshots these days....but hell, it didn't have to be an unprotected shot to the head. They could have had Cena block most of it....point is, if you're coming back to "finish" someone with a chair....don't you usually hit them in the head with it? I mean, call me crazy, but in 22 years of watching this stuff....most of the time, that's how you "finish" someone with a chair. Especially if you're trying to be a sadistic monster like Batista.
So yeah. A segment meant to be dramatic and tense and shocking was, to me, downright hilarious.
Anyone else think so?
