What if?
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?...........
John Cena beat RVD @ ONS06
Whiny Van Dam marks would stop bitching about Hunter obviously burying Van Dam and start bitching about how Cena obviously buried Van Dam. Tapout would be laughing really hard the whole time.
Both men would still have gone on to be huge stars.
Vince McMahon never purchased WCW
Starrcade would have become Bingo-Hall-a-Mania.
HBK beats Austin with the help of Mike Tyson at WM14
Undertaker would've encased his entire body in wrist tape and wrestled as a giant mummy. Schiavone would make an incredible one-night-only reappearance at the Mania commentary table to shriek, "It's the YET-AY!!!" Lawler would then promptly kick Schiavone in the nuts and have him hauled away by security.
Jeff Hardy doesn't leave the WWE and he has matches against Taker instead of the forgettable punk/taker/Teddy long feud.
Sadly, Hardy would still self-destruct due to his decidedly non-straightedge lifestyle, and Undertaker would still be hobbling around on an injured hip. Punk might've been the one to take the IC title off Mysterio instead of Morrison, though.
Jake the Snake beats Stone Cold at KOTR 96
Jake quotes a different bible verse, hugging an exhausted Austin in the middle of the ring after the hard-fought victory. A babyface Austin tries to get over with the catchphrase "Matthew 5:39 says I just turned the other cheek" but receives a tepid response from the crowds.
Lesnar loses his KOTR final to RVD
RVD gets his title shot only to piss it away on a drug conviction. A disgruntled Brock pursues his failed football career even sooner.
Ric Flair retires HBK in 2008
Tapout laughs really hard throughout 2008 on into 2009. Wakes up sometime in January 2010 soaked in his own tears from laughing so hard and also has grown a gigantic beard. Stops laughing when he discovers Flair still ended up getting married again and still quit WWE in search of a bigger paycheck to pay off his alimony bills. Tapout then facepalms for the remainder of 2010, while a family of possums takes up residence in his gigantic beard. Tapout calls the big one "Bitey."
Stone Cold Ran over Rikishi
Rikishi gets over huge as a sympathetic babyface, while Rocky, who had his "thong-wearing fatty" promo all queued up and ready to go, just stares into the camera in dumbfounded silence for a second, then covers it up by making Jonathan "Coach" Coachman do the Macarena.
Vince McMahon gets buried at Survivor Series 2003
An already-befuddled Smackdown crowd is shocked at the following week's taping when a re-masked Kane appears on the titantron holding the vocoder up to his neck and says, "IT...WAS...ME...ALL...ALONG, VINCE!!" A Kane-fused Michael Cole remarks "DAMN HIM! DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!...I think?"
Basketballs held grudges.
"Big" Dave Batista is even more humiliated in his historically hilarious promo as Khali interrupts him to correct him. Ranjin Singh translates, "Actually, it's a known fact that basketballs do, in fact, hold grudges." "Big" Dave makes his heel two years earlier in his match with the Great Khali, using a variety of international objects such as the WHC belt and a steel chair to beat down Khali. Things look very bad for the sympathetic babyface Khali until the camera cuts to Singh sitting in the front row of the arena, who desperately tosses a Spalding classic orange toward the ring, which floats through the air in slow motion, gently bopping "Big" Dave on the head and causing him roll out of the ring and magically turn into an animated .gif of himself crying. "Big" Dave is counted out and Khali retains the strap. In a shocking turn of events, on the following week's Smackdown, "Big" Dave bravely demands a rematch!
Vince brings in the WWENWO years earlier with results that are just as crappy.
Considering what a temperamental bitch Michaels was at the time, we would've gotten the Kliq hug a whole lot sooner. The Outsiders would've been a 3-man group in WCW, and Hunter might've joined them.
Matt never gets hurt, and remains with Lita on the road
Lita ends up having her affair with Smackdown official Mike "WHADDYA SAY, HUH??" Chioda, which makes Chioda the Rated-R Superstar. Chioda's heel promos become the stuff of legend.
December to Dismember was a success?
Wouldn't have changed much. Lashley already had one foot out the door and ECW would still have pretty much ended up the way it did.
Marty threw Shawn through the Barber Shop window.
"Sexy guy" Marty Janetty would've had a brief singles run but sadly would still have had the same trouble with addictive substances as he did. Michaels, a known addict himself at the time, might've had more serious problems if he hadn't gotten the push.
JBL worked for Shawn in 2008/2009
We would've had many more tremendously funny promos and vignettes that were only available on WWE Mobile, which has an audience of about 7.8 people, 6 of whom are WWE employees.
Brian Pillman didn't wreck but decided to go to ECW and stay.
Sadly, Pillman would've eventually tried to wrestle despite his foot injury and would probably have suffered a career-ending injury shortly thereafter. Hopefully he would've stayed healthy long enough to be a heel manager with a cane or in a Jack Victory-style wheelchair and continue to cut epic heel promos.
ECW didn't go out of business and became the number-two fed in the country after WCW tanked.
It would still be running out of bingo halls and basketball gyms due to Paul E's total inability to run a profitable business until it eventually went under. Sadly, because Paul had no idea how to keep a business alive, ECW's days were always numbered.
NWA/TNA closed its doors after 6 months.
Christian, the Dudleys, Rhyno, and Tomko would all be WWE jobbers. I don't like to think about what would've happened to Angle, but realistically, he might've gotten in serious trouble if not met a tragic end from pushing himself too hard.
Andre beat Hogan at Wrestlemania III.
Andre would've gotten his own failed Saturday morning cartoon show with funnyman Brad Garrett affecting a slight French accent to deliver Andre's voice. However, the movie
The Princess Bride would've become at least 12-15% more entertaining with the Hulkster in Andre's role.