Post by angryfan on Oct 15, 2006 8:06:25 GMT -5
Been a few months, thanks to a massive case of writer's block, but here's a new installment. Hope you guys enjoy it.
scene opens with the gang hanging out at Titan Towers)
HHH: I hate the office.
Steph: Well, I’m sorry, but I have some things to do, so I figured we could all make a day of it. Besides, this will give you a chance to mingle.
HHH: But I hate mingling. What could I possibly gain by mingling with people I’ve known and worked with for years?
Flair: Wooooooooo!
HHH: Nah, Bob handles the new employee orientation fine on his own.
(Sledgie, as always, says nothing, but begins to tip to one side)
HHH: Well, yeah, I guess we could go hit the cafeteria or something, I am a little hungry.
Steph: Good, you guys go eat, and I’ll get caught up on work.
HHH: What’s on the work agenda for today?
Steph: Today is a new gimmick roundtable. We’re trying to come up with some more comedy bits.
HHH: Comedy bits…yeah, ok, you guys have fun. We’ll be, uh, somewhere else.
(HHH, Flair, and Sledgie head to the cafeteria, passing Matt Hardy and Ashley in the hall way)
Matt: I’m so happy to be around you Ashley, isn’t this great?
Ashley: Yep, and the best part is, I haven’t broken a bone in at least a week.
(Ashley adjusts her hat, and trips over her feet, crashing into the wall)
Matt: Are you ok? Is anything broken?
Ashley: Don’t think so, but I should probably get it checked.
Matt: I can help you –
(Matt is cut off as Edge walks past)
Edge: Hey Matt. Hey Ashley, are you ok down there?
Ashley: I tripped.
Edge: Wow, I’m sorry to hear that.
Ashley: You’re so sweet.
(Ashley gets up and walks away, following Edge)
Matt: Damn it, not again!
(HHH, Flair and Sledgie enter the cafeteria, seeing groups of wrestlers at every table, all with empty trays)
HHH: (walking over to one table) Why do you guys all have empty trays?
Scotty 2 Hotty: (pointing) Vader’s cooking, and nothing’s made it out of the kitchen yet.
(Vader, in ring gear and fire mask, wearing a chef’s hat, exits the kitchen)
Vader: I’m sorry guys, but the stuff still isn’t right, yet. I had to, uh, destroy it, because it wasn’t, um, up to standards. Yeah, it wasn’t up to standards. Give me a little more time.
Funaki: (leaping up and running from the room) Godziiillaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Farooq: (popping up from the salad bar) DAMN! (he sinks back down into the lettuce)
(Matt, still dejected, walks into the cafeteria, and sits at a table with Candice Michelle)
Matt: Hi, Candice.
Candice: Oh, hey Matt, how are you?
Matt: I’m doing ok, but it’s been a long day. Earlier –
(he is cut off once again as Edge, with Ashley in tow, walks in)
Edge: Hey Candice, how’s it going?
Candice: (beaming) Hey, Edge, I’m great, where you going?
Edge: Just walking around.
Candice: I love walking around! (she gets up and follows Edge and Ashley)
Matt: (slamming his head on the table) Son of a bitch!
(Bob Holly, with new trainees in tow, enters the cafeteria)
Holly: This is the cafeteria, you got that?
Trainee: It’s a nice cafeteria.
Holly: (snapping) You’re damn right it’s a nice cafeteria, you snot nosed little bastard! What the hell did you expect?
(Holly proceeds to pummel the trainee mercilessly, then stands and brushes himself off)
Holly: (continuing in a calm voice) As you can see, we have a salad bar, and various other attributes, as health is very important to us. Any questions?
(the remaining trainees say nothing)
Holly: Good, now if you’ll all follow me, we’ll go check out the workout center and showers. (they depart)
Trainee: Oh God.
Holly: What was that?
Trainee: Nothing.
Holly: I didn't think so
HHH: cafeteria’s suck without food in them.
Flair: Woooooooooo?
HHH: Well, we could always go see what Vince is doing.
(HHH, Flair, and Sledgie head to Vince's office, finding him meeting with Matt Hardy and Maria)
Hardy: I can't take this anymore, it's driving me crazy!
Vince: I'm sorry to hear that, Joey.
Hardy: My name's not Joey.
Vince: It isn't?
Hardy: No, it's Matt. Matt Hardy, I've been here for almost ten years.
Vince: Are you sure?
Hardy: Yeah, pretty sure.
Vince: So, then what you're saying is, I'm wrong somehow?
Hardy: Well, I, uh...
Vince: You're saying I'm mistaken, that I don't know my own employees? That's what you're implying?
Hardy: (looking around) Well, uh, see, I wouldn't do that, but, see, I'm just...(looks at Maria) little help please?
Maria: I like skittles, don't you Joey?
Hardy: My name's not Joey.
Maria: But you do like skittles, right?
Hardy: Well, uh, yeah, they're ok.
Maria: (looking at Vince) See? It's ok, he likes skittles.
(Vince and Matt stare blankly at Maria as HHH and Flair stand in the doorway)
HHH: What's going on?
Hardy: Thank God, somebody that's not crazy. Guys, you gotta help me, every time I talk to a woman, Edge steals them from me.
Flair: Woooooooooooo!
Hardy: But you don't understand Naitch, I can't even get them near Space Mountain.
Maria: Oooooooooohhhhh, I love roller coasters. You have a roller coaster, Joey?
Hardy: I keep telling you, my name's not -
Flair: (whispering to Hardy)Woooo.
Hardy: Uh, yeah, I do, want to see it?
Maria: Sure!
(Matt and Maria start to leave the office, as Edge passes in the hallway)
Edge: Hey everybody, what's going on?
Hardy: Nothing is going on.
Maria: It's not? But I thought you said we were going to see a roller coaster.
Hardy: Uh, we, um, I mean, uh -
Edge: When the hell did you get money for a roller coaster?
Maria: (to Hardy) you lied to me. I hate liars, especially ones that don't have roller coasters.
Edge: Lying about roller coasters, that's low.
Hardy: (looking confused) But, I, uh...
Edge: You know, I know where there's a good roller coaster.
Maria: Cool! I'm in!
(Maria departs with Edge)
Hardy: Damn it!
(Hardy storms out of the office as HHH and Flair look on confused)
Flair: Woooo?
HHH: Probably to write something in his diary.
Hardy: (yelling back over his shoulder) It's a BLOG, it's not a diary, it's not, it's not, it's NOT!
HHH: Damn, he's sensitive.
Steph: (appearing behind them) Who's sensitive?
HHH: Hardy. Something about roller coasters.
Steph: Hey, that might make an interesting story for TV.
(the group exits with Trips and Flair sharing a look and Steph brainstorms)
scene opens with the gang hanging out at Titan Towers)
HHH: I hate the office.
Steph: Well, I’m sorry, but I have some things to do, so I figured we could all make a day of it. Besides, this will give you a chance to mingle.
HHH: But I hate mingling. What could I possibly gain by mingling with people I’ve known and worked with for years?
Flair: Wooooooooo!
HHH: Nah, Bob handles the new employee orientation fine on his own.
(Sledgie, as always, says nothing, but begins to tip to one side)
HHH: Well, yeah, I guess we could go hit the cafeteria or something, I am a little hungry.
Steph: Good, you guys go eat, and I’ll get caught up on work.
HHH: What’s on the work agenda for today?
Steph: Today is a new gimmick roundtable. We’re trying to come up with some more comedy bits.
HHH: Comedy bits…yeah, ok, you guys have fun. We’ll be, uh, somewhere else.
(HHH, Flair, and Sledgie head to the cafeteria, passing Matt Hardy and Ashley in the hall way)
Matt: I’m so happy to be around you Ashley, isn’t this great?
Ashley: Yep, and the best part is, I haven’t broken a bone in at least a week.
(Ashley adjusts her hat, and trips over her feet, crashing into the wall)
Matt: Are you ok? Is anything broken?
Ashley: Don’t think so, but I should probably get it checked.
Matt: I can help you –
(Matt is cut off as Edge walks past)
Edge: Hey Matt. Hey Ashley, are you ok down there?
Ashley: I tripped.
Edge: Wow, I’m sorry to hear that.
Ashley: You’re so sweet.
(Ashley gets up and walks away, following Edge)
Matt: Damn it, not again!
(HHH, Flair and Sledgie enter the cafeteria, seeing groups of wrestlers at every table, all with empty trays)
HHH: (walking over to one table) Why do you guys all have empty trays?
Scotty 2 Hotty: (pointing) Vader’s cooking, and nothing’s made it out of the kitchen yet.
(Vader, in ring gear and fire mask, wearing a chef’s hat, exits the kitchen)
Vader: I’m sorry guys, but the stuff still isn’t right, yet. I had to, uh, destroy it, because it wasn’t, um, up to standards. Yeah, it wasn’t up to standards. Give me a little more time.
Funaki: (leaping up and running from the room) Godziiillaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Farooq: (popping up from the salad bar) DAMN! (he sinks back down into the lettuce)
(Matt, still dejected, walks into the cafeteria, and sits at a table with Candice Michelle)
Matt: Hi, Candice.
Candice: Oh, hey Matt, how are you?
Matt: I’m doing ok, but it’s been a long day. Earlier –
(he is cut off once again as Edge, with Ashley in tow, walks in)
Edge: Hey Candice, how’s it going?
Candice: (beaming) Hey, Edge, I’m great, where you going?
Edge: Just walking around.
Candice: I love walking around! (she gets up and follows Edge and Ashley)
Matt: (slamming his head on the table) Son of a bitch!
(Bob Holly, with new trainees in tow, enters the cafeteria)
Holly: This is the cafeteria, you got that?
Trainee: It’s a nice cafeteria.
Holly: (snapping) You’re damn right it’s a nice cafeteria, you snot nosed little bastard! What the hell did you expect?
(Holly proceeds to pummel the trainee mercilessly, then stands and brushes himself off)
Holly: (continuing in a calm voice) As you can see, we have a salad bar, and various other attributes, as health is very important to us. Any questions?
(the remaining trainees say nothing)
Holly: Good, now if you’ll all follow me, we’ll go check out the workout center and showers. (they depart)
Trainee: Oh God.
Holly: What was that?
Trainee: Nothing.
Holly: I didn't think so
HHH: cafeteria’s suck without food in them.
Flair: Woooooooooo?
HHH: Well, we could always go see what Vince is doing.
(HHH, Flair, and Sledgie head to Vince's office, finding him meeting with Matt Hardy and Maria)
Hardy: I can't take this anymore, it's driving me crazy!
Vince: I'm sorry to hear that, Joey.
Hardy: My name's not Joey.
Vince: It isn't?
Hardy: No, it's Matt. Matt Hardy, I've been here for almost ten years.
Vince: Are you sure?
Hardy: Yeah, pretty sure.
Vince: So, then what you're saying is, I'm wrong somehow?
Hardy: Well, I, uh...
Vince: You're saying I'm mistaken, that I don't know my own employees? That's what you're implying?
Hardy: (looking around) Well, uh, see, I wouldn't do that, but, see, I'm just...(looks at Maria) little help please?
Maria: I like skittles, don't you Joey?
Hardy: My name's not Joey.
Maria: But you do like skittles, right?
Hardy: Well, uh, yeah, they're ok.
Maria: (looking at Vince) See? It's ok, he likes skittles.
(Vince and Matt stare blankly at Maria as HHH and Flair stand in the doorway)
HHH: What's going on?
Hardy: Thank God, somebody that's not crazy. Guys, you gotta help me, every time I talk to a woman, Edge steals them from me.
Flair: Woooooooooooo!
Hardy: But you don't understand Naitch, I can't even get them near Space Mountain.
Maria: Oooooooooohhhhh, I love roller coasters. You have a roller coaster, Joey?
Hardy: I keep telling you, my name's not -
Flair: (whispering to Hardy)Woooo.
Hardy: Uh, yeah, I do, want to see it?
Maria: Sure!
(Matt and Maria start to leave the office, as Edge passes in the hallway)
Edge: Hey everybody, what's going on?
Hardy: Nothing is going on.
Maria: It's not? But I thought you said we were going to see a roller coaster.
Hardy: Uh, we, um, I mean, uh -
Edge: When the hell did you get money for a roller coaster?
Maria: (to Hardy) you lied to me. I hate liars, especially ones that don't have roller coasters.
Edge: Lying about roller coasters, that's low.
Hardy: (looking confused) But, I, uh...
Edge: You know, I know where there's a good roller coaster.
Maria: Cool! I'm in!
(Maria departs with Edge)
Hardy: Damn it!
(Hardy storms out of the office as HHH and Flair look on confused)
Flair: Woooo?
HHH: Probably to write something in his diary.
Hardy: (yelling back over his shoulder) It's a BLOG, it's not a diary, it's not, it's not, it's NOT!
HHH: Damn, he's sensitive.
Steph: (appearing behind them) Who's sensitive?
HHH: Hardy. Something about roller coasters.
Steph: Hey, that might make an interesting story for TV.
(the group exits with Trips and Flair sharing a look and Steph brainstorms)