(Not) Feeling extremely depressed (anymore)

[rapidfire187]

My girlfriend lives about 2 hours away, so we're doing the long distance thing. We've been together for a little over 2 years, but she moved in with me over a year ago. She quit her job though, and it resulted in us moving into my parents place. My parents got sick of her not pulling her weight and kicked her out after a couple of months. She then stayed with my cousin's GF for a few months, but basically the same thing happened there so she moved back home. She's been away since June.

After moving back home, her parents bought her a truck. Almost immediately afterwords, we ran into a huge problem. She came to see me shortly after getting her new ride. She waited until kind of late to leave her house and didn't show up here until early evening. We spent a few hours together and then she went home. She knew that she could have stayed for the weekend, but she said she had to go back home. I didn't hear from her for the whole weekend, which worried me sick. I then found out that she had been in town the entire time and was staying at a guy's house that I didn't know, but was a friend of one of our friends.

We broke up, but kept talking. She insisted that she didn't cheat and that she was just upset with me for some stuff (rightfully so I might add) and had only hung out with this guy because she needed someone to talk to about it. Sounded like complete BS but we eventually got back together.

Things have been pretty smooth since then, until the last 2 days. On Wednesday night we said our goodnights, and she said that she would text me after her job interview on Thursday morning. I was going to be in her town that day for a dentist appointment, and we were going to see about meeting up for a little while. We had also been planning on spending this weekend together for like the past month.

Didn't hear from her at all yesterday. She had been complaining about her phone messing up, but there were other ways she could contact me (Facebook, her brother/mom/dad's phone, home phone) but she didn't. She never replied to my texts or anything. I got ahold of her mom, and her mom said that her phone was messed up and that she had taken her little brother to the movies...this was after 10 PM on a school night.

Never heard from her last night. A little while ago (around 3 PM) she replied to a text that I sent her, basically telling me that I'm overreacting and need to chill out. I told her I was freaked out b/c she had disappeared again, and that asked if she had been home the whole time. She fell for it, and said "yes, but I've been thinking a lot. I'm not happy and I don't know what to do".

At this point I know that she's lying. I'm almost 100% certain that she was with somebody else, and has been seeing them for a while. I'm definitely not ok with that. I mean, I could handle it if she would just be upfront and break it off with me. Even if she just gave me a bogus reason for breaking up. But to be sneaking behind my back and lying and disappearing...I can't take it.

The big problem here is that I'm already barely hanging on by a thread. My car has been broken down for over a year, I don't have a job. I AM in school and I make pretty good grades, but it really doesn't help me right now. I recently broke a front tooth (making my pretty smile...not so pretty anymore...and that's one of my only attractive features). I'm dealing with a court case from 2 years ago. I'm still living with my parents. The only two pieces of property that I give a crap about are my computer and my PS2...both of which are barely working. I also gave up on a lot of my friends recently, due to various reasons. My girlfriend has really been the only thing that's kept me happy, and losing her is a serious blow to my ego and to my life in general.

I've been through this type of thing with other girls in the past, and it always screwed me up for a long time. I always try to learn from the past and not make the same mistakes again, but every chick that I date does it to me again. Most people that I know don't even give me legit advice. It's just "dude there's plenty of pussy out there, go get it". Thing is, I'm not looking for hook ups. I'm a sucker for love unfortunately, but even if I wasn't, I'm not particularly good at picking up chicks anyway.

I just don't know what to do. I'm feeling very volatile right now. I've considered suicide. I'm completely miserable. I really don't like the idea of suicide because I have no idea what I might be missing out on, but when I really analyze my past, I realize that all of my best memories are worthless because they lead to the worst moments of my life. It's an endless pattern. Everything goes great for a while, then it all comes crashing down at once. I'm not being dramatic, I literally mean that every good thing I have going for me seems to get screwed up all at once.

Any advice?

[darthalexander]

The first thing I can take from this post of yours is that the girl is a loser. Really. Kicked out of two places for not pulling her weight? Says a lot about her. Right there you can see a big warning sign.

Her behavior is pretty damn crappy and your problem isn't her. It's you. You are currently in a rut and therefore have way too much invested in this girl - she's your "escape" from your life. Sad thing is, you're invested in a girl who isn't worth it at all. You need to invest in yourself more than anything else and be thankful this loser is almost out of your life.

I can understand feeling suicidal. I've been there myself and without a doubt it has to do with the rut in your life, not her. She's just a small part of it made big by your need for some sort of escape.

Best thing to do? Be your own best friend and do what you can to make yourself happy. And think of this: let's say you did kill yourself. What then? She'll spend the rest of her life weeping over your grave? Hell no. She'll probably go "oh wow, bummer" and maybe think of you once in a while, if even.

I'd say the greatest crime here is you not being a friend to yourself. Things will get better. I know right now they don't look that way but you can't see it because you're stuck in that rut.

Man, good riddance to her. Be happy she's gone.

[biafra]

I was in the same position you are. Years down the line it doesn't even register on my list of "life's disasters and disappointments."

It is natural to feel like shit..we all go through it. But PLEASE do not take take a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I still have scars on my wrist from my situation and thank GOD I wasn't able to carry through. To think of everything I would have missed over something that doesn't mean anything to me now.

I promise you that five years down the road you will look back and count your blessings if you are able to get through this without causing permanent harm to yourself.

[The QC Loser]

I see a lot of the way I used to be in your post. Putting way to much of myself and myself worth into a worthless girl. Yes it can seem like everything is crashing down at once and you ahve nothing in your life but think about this. You said you live with your parents. Your parents care enough to let you do that while you get your life straight. That is one good thing right there. What I found really really helped me (and like I said I could of just as easily wrote what your wrote a few years ago) is focus on yourself. Make a list of goals you want to accomplish and then work towards them. I had a horrible body image issue (still do) so I started researching and learning what I could about working out and hitting the gym. You said you are going to school. Make that a priority also. I discoverd that I really enjoyed learning about web design so I started teaching myself and am in school for it now. Got a pretyt good job just because my boss overheard me talking about it and moved me up.

I doubt any of this will really help or solve all your problems but just remember no problem is worth killing yourself. There is always a solution, you just have to work to find it and achieve it.

Also since I spent some time on the only other forum I visit here would be the responce to the girls issues

[rapidfire187]

Thanks for the advice guys...

UPDATE: After I posted this, she texted me and spilled the beans...a little bit of them anyway. She told me "There's someone else, and there has been for 7 years. It's a long story. I'm sending (name removed) to get all of my stuff and bring it to me".

Well, her stuff was neatly packed up from when we split up before. At this point I just completely flew into a rage. I grabbed all of her dvds and cds (two boxes full...), and dumped them onto the back porch. I basically went berserk and just started stomping on them and throwing knee drops and screaming. I felt like Ric Flair and probably looked like an idiot. I scared the crap out of my younger sister who came out begging me to calm down and asking what was wrong. I showed her the message and she started bawling and told me she didn't blame me.

I then took a picture and sent it to Shawna (name not removed because she's a whore) and told her she may want to reconsider sending (name removed) to get her stuff. She texted me back with "That's f***ed up, I'd never have done that to your stuff. Please just give it to (name removed) because it's really sentimental to me. I don't know what to about this. I'm sick of you overreacting." At that point I really was thinking "You wouldn't have done that to my stuff? I never would've done what you did to me". But instead I just texted back "f*** off you nasty whore".

I think I handled it well. I hurt her in a way that really got to her, and I also made myself feel WAY better. Like, I can't believe I was contemplating suicide earlier. Guys, this is real talk. If you ever feel depressed and angry because someone screwed you over, just destroy their stuff

BTW the things that I destroyed have been in my room for over a year. I'm pretty sure that it's all legally "mine" anyway. Damn...maybe I should've just put it on ebay.

[rapidfire187]

Holy crap, 2 days later and I've already met a new much more awesome chick. Prettier, smarter, funnier, and more responsible. Rapidfire's a pimp.

[Hassan bin Sober]

Good for you.

[Chronos]

Yeah, that's really great news. Congratulations.

[rapidfire187]

Seriously. The last time a girl cheated on me I ended up being single for the next 8 months or something. I was really dreading that. Of course, it could still happen, but this girl seems to really think I'm awesome. She's into nerdy/funny guys so I just did all the things I wouldn't normally do. Told her I'm into wrestling and video games and stuff, and told a bunch of dirty jokes. Worked like a charm. I'm still a little nervous though because she's like 10x hotter than the hottest girl I've ever dated. Seems totally out of my league. God must've been looking out for me after all.

[Nasty Nate: The Giant Midget]

my wise sage of a grand pa once passed on this advice: " you can't get over her, until you get on top of someone else."

food for thought

Edit: congrats on finding the new women to. kudos.

[fw91]

wow that new girl sounds awesome

[rapidfire187]

Oct 31, 2010 20:24:36 GMT -5 Nasty Nate: The Giant Midget said:

my wise sage of a grand pa once passed on this advice: " you can't get over her, until you get on top of someone else."

food for thought

Heh. I actually think I was over her the second that I started destroying her things.

But yea, that new chick is TOO awesome.

[Yami Daimao]

Oct 29, 2010 15:58:17 GMT -5 rapidfire187 said:

I then took a picture and sent it to Shawna (name not removed because she's a whore)

Greatest. Reason. Ever.

Good for you, and congrats.

[hooeylewis]

I kinda know how you feel. I am really happy that you met someone that is much more awesome than you last bitch of a gf. I was severely depressed for a few months over a previous gf. Then I realized one day that I am one hell of a catch and I basically life my life with the attitude that if someone is too foolish to see that then that is their problem not mine. The phrase of when a door closes another one opens is a popular one for a reason.