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Post by Alex Shelley on Jan 29, 2011 1:18:05 GMT -5
It really is amazing what women go through from everything around them. I feel like I'm sort of in an interesting place - I'm an "insider", in that I've lived 20 years as a female, but at the same time feel like an outsider because it simply doesn't affect me (at least, not in ways I'm aware of - I'm sure that there are still parts of me that are impacted by it). It simply amazes me that women feel that they have to rely on beauty products in order to be attractive to society. But I understand how it can happen. Women aren't allowed to feel attractive, they're not allowed to feel like they're already fine as it is. Even here, on this site I see a lot of negativity. Divas are heavily criticized by men for small flaws. I've seen plenty of the Divas accused of having "man faces" or mocked/called ugly for reasons that I consider ridiculous. How do the female members of this site feel affected by people picking apart the Divas by appearance? I've heard from at least one female friend of mine, who used to be a member of this site and left because of issues like this, that she was afraid to post a picture here because of the way she'd seen people making comments about women. This woman is, by physical standards, gorgeous, but she didn't want to put her image out here. Not so much the comments, but I can't tolerate being here for more than about 5 minutes if I'm not logged in with sigs turned off. Looking at 75% of signatures just depresses the hell out of me because I can't help comparing myself to them. And I would never post my picture here either, probably for similar reasons. I love Adblock  Whenever somebody posts a signature of a nearly nude woman, I just automatically block it and I never have to see it again. It allows me to still see people who have funny signatures, or signatures I recognize them by. |
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mattperiolat
King Koopa
Thank you, Brodie... for everything.
Posts: 11,445
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Post by mattperiolat on Jan 29, 2011 1:21:21 GMT -5
It really is amazing what women go through from everything around them. I feel like I'm sort of in an interesting place - I'm an "insider", in that I've lived 20 years as a female, but at the same time feel like an outsider because it simply doesn't affect me (at least, not in ways I'm aware of - I'm sure that there are still parts of me that are impacted by it). It simply amazes me that women feel that they have to rely on beauty products in order to be attractive to society. But I understand how it can happen. Women aren't allowed to feel attractive, they're not allowed to feel like they're already fine as it is. Even here, on this site I see a lot of negativity. Divas are heavily criticized by men for small flaws. I've seen plenty of the Divas accused of having "man faces" or mocked/called ugly for reasons that I consider ridiculous. How do the female members of this site feel affected by people picking apart the Divas by appearance? I've heard from at least one female friend of mine, who used to be a member of this site and left because of issues like this, that she was afraid to post a picture here because of the way she'd seen people making comments about women. This woman is, by physical standards, gorgeous, but she didn't want to put her image out here. Not so much the comments, but I can't tolerate being here for more than about 5 minutes if I'm not logged in with sigs turned off. Looking at 75% of signatures just depresses the hell out of me because I can't help comparing myself to them. And I would never post my picture here either, probably for similar reasons. Not making excuses for the sigs, but that IS a measure of being a guy. Find something hot, post it to share with your friends. Kind of like a prick measuring thing I suppose. But that being said, sure, I can see how it would impact a woman's self confidence. As the whole thread has been indicating, the whole culture seems to be built around undermining an average person's confidence in themselves from the womb to the tomb. Sadly, I don't think that's even remotely an exaggeration anymore. I think the other problem is it doesn't matter anymore if a guy tells a girl she looks nice and they're being straight because a girl has heard subconciously forever that she's not. It's like being bullied or abused, you might hear ONE voice saying the truth, but years of pounding the other way are going to be louder. |
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Post by Alex Shelley on Jan 29, 2011 1:28:57 GMT -5
It really is amazing what women go through from everything around them. I feel like I'm sort of in an interesting place - I'm an "insider", in that I've lived 20 years as a female, but at the same time feel like an outsider because it simply doesn't affect me (at least, not in ways I'm aware of - I'm sure that there are still parts of me that are impacted by it). It simply amazes me that women feel that they have to rely on beauty products in order to be attractive to society. But I understand how it can happen. Women aren't allowed to feel attractive, they're not allowed to feel like they're already fine as it is. Even here, on this site I see a lot of negativity. Divas are heavily criticized by men for small flaws. I've seen plenty of the Divas accused of having "man faces" or mocked/called ugly for reasons that I consider ridiculous. How do the female members of this site feel affected by people picking apart the Divas by appearance? I've heard from at least one female friend of mine, who used to be a member of this site and left because of issues like this, that she was afraid to post a picture here because of the way she'd seen people making comments about women. This woman is, by physical standards, gorgeous, but she didn't want to put her image out here. I actually feel kind of bad about this because many times I've commented on females pictures before telling them that they're pretty and what not. I never meant to objectify anyone.  I wouldn't feel bad about it. It's more the negativity aspect, at least to me. On that note... I think the other problem is it doesn't matter anymore if a guy tells a girl she looks nice and they're being straight because a girl has heard subconciously forever that she's not. It's like being bullied or abused, you might hear ONE voice saying the truth, but years of pounding the other way are going to be louder. This is an absolute truth for many women (men, too, but since we're talking about women, I'm just going to talk about them). And many of them become upset when they hear somebody telling them they're attractive, because they genuinely feel that the person is lying or trying to humor them. Not making excuses for the sigs, but that IS a measure of being a guy. Find something hot, post it to share with your friends. Kind of like a prick measuring thing I suppose. That's not just a guy thing, believe me  I don't mind it so much, and I accept that this is a forum full of mostly straight males. I'm attracted to women too, but I just feel such a huge disconnect with the way a lot of men here see women and attractiveness. I just stick to posting pictures of hot guys with the gay community and the few females we've got. |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jan 29, 2011 1:48:55 GMT -5
As soon as you're born they make you feel small
By giving you no time instead of it all.
John Lennon sang those lyrics and I feel that they're applicable to this story. We're living in strange times. I was going to extrapolate further on my feelings about this, but I can't find the words to do my thoughts justice currently. I feel bad for children of today and the future it seems that it's hard to just be a kid anymore.
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Post by Ash Kingston on Jan 29, 2011 2:12:10 GMT -5
Not so much the comments, but I can't tolerate being here for more than about 5 minutes if I'm not logged in with sigs turned off. Looking at 75% of signatures just depresses the hell out of me because I can't help comparing myself to them. And I would never post my picture here either, probably for similar reasons. I love Adblock Whenever somebody posts a signature of a nearly nude woman, I just automatically block it and I never have to see it again. It allows me to still see people who have funny signatures, or signatures I recognize them by. <_<;; I know this is totally out of left field and random, but does this "hot chick in the sig" thing include me? Legit curiosity, here. Edit: DERP I M GUD @ QUOTE. |
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Ultimo Gallos
Grimlock
Dreams SUCK!Nightmares live FOREVER!
Posts: 14,451 
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Post by Ultimo Gallos on Jan 29, 2011 3:22:31 GMT -5
Reminds me on some of the lyrics to Dead Kennedy's "Trust Your Mechanic." Disturbing. "I want your perfect Barbie doll LIPS!!" |
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Post by HMARK Center on Jan 29, 2011 9:49:34 GMT -5
Not so much the comments, but I can't tolerate being here for more than about 5 minutes if I'm not logged in with sigs turned off. Looking at 75% of signatures just depresses the hell out of me because I can't help comparing myself to them. And I would never post my picture here either, probably for similar reasons. Not making excuses for the sigs, but that IS a measure of being a guy. Find something hot, post it to share with your friends. Kind of like a prick measuring thing I suppose. But that being said, sure, I can see how it would impact a woman's self confidence. As the whole thread has been indicating, the whole culture seems to be built around undermining an average person's confidence in themselves from the womb to the tomb. Sadly, I don't think that's even remotely an exaggeration anymore. I think the other problem is it doesn't matter anymore if a guy tells a girl she looks nice and they're being straight because a girl has heard subconciously forever that she's not. It's like being bullied or abused, you might hear ONE voice saying the truth, but years of pounding the other way are going to be louder. While I do think the sigs here go overboard sometimes, you're spot on with your last paragraph. I've dealt with a few women I've gone out with who've looked at me weird if I told them they were genuinely attractive. The vibe I get is that they either feel "you're just being friendly", or "you just want to sleep with me"...which is funny, because if I thought she was ugly in whatever way, why would I be attracted to her to possibly sleep with her?  Thankfully, that's not all women, or even near a majority of the ones I've dated (probably because I find confidence attractive), and I think those problems get bit by bit better as you get older in some cases. I'm still looking for examples of such high levels of self-esteem shredding being done to men, but I'll say straight-up, it's pretty tough. |
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Whenever somebody posts a signature of a nearly nude woman, I just automatically block it and I never have to see it again. It allows me to still see people who have funny signatures, or signatures I recognize them by.
I don't mind it so much, and I accept that this is a forum full of mostly straight males. I'm attracted to women too, but I just feel such a huge disconnect with the way a lot of men here see women and attractiveness. I just stick to posting pictures of hot guys with the gay community and the few females we've got.
