Burst
El Dandy
*inarticulate squawking*
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Post by Burst on Jun 7, 2011 13:37:05 GMT -5
I really need to figure out how to stand up to my parents and tell that that I don't think medicine is right for me.
It's just obscenely hard at this point. They've already paid for my Kaplan MCAT test prep, already paid for me to get the science classes I didn't get in undergrad, everything to set me up to enter medical school. I feel like I'm too far in to say "I really, really am not enjoying this at all."
That and there's the fact that I feel like I don't have anything to fall back on. I majored in writing in undergrad, but that's a lousy job market that probably won't make me much more than working in retail would. Publish a book? Puh-leeze, that'll never happen. Peace corps? Good for soul-searching but then I'm exactly where I was situationally when I return.
Military? My anti-authority streak probably won't help me out there, and I cringed reading about the 'military indoctrination process' even for officer school, and with my standardized test scores a recruiter would be bonkers to let me go in as enlisted.
I don't know. I guess I can drag myself into medicine even though all this preparatory work and physics and organic chemistry has about the same appeal as a balut omelet.
My parents say that I'll love it once I get into it, that I'll love the obscenely long studying hours, the destruction of any semblance of a personal life outside of your classmates, and the dreary busywork and student loans that one has to suffer through, just for the chance that they might wind up like the pathologist that's my dad's boss, who works four hours a day four days a week and seemingly goes golfing or to Las Vegas or on a cruise every weekend.
A quote I stumbled upon really made me think...
I don't know, folks.
Edit: I forgot to mention, my parents' standard replies to me voicing my concerns are:
1. It's just a phase, you'll grow to love it. 2. There's so many specialties! You'll find one you like! 3. You're just psyching yourself out. 4. If you keep saying you hate it, you'll hate it. Be optimistic! 5. You can be a doctor and THEN you can do what you want in life!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2011 13:41:58 GMT -5
So this is your cover letter for your med school application?
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Post by Orange on Jun 7, 2011 13:42:23 GMT -5
I know how you feel, I had to do the same thing a while ago. My Mom has been pushing medical really hard (because of the great money), and while I'm still somewhat considering it, the overall idea doesn't interest me. I found it wasn't as hard or tense as I thought it'd be, but it was a surprise so do be ready for that. I think that it's something you just have to do, this is your life, so if you don't want to do it anymore you shouldn't have to. Good luck when you do tell them
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CaptainFall
Samurai Cop
'Fascinating is the word of the day'
Posts: 2,151
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Post by CaptainFall on Jun 7, 2011 14:06:43 GMT -5
The simple answer is if you don't want to do it then you have to tell them. It won't be a nice talk but if that's your choice then you need to get through to them that you have no interest in medical school. It's your life after all.
I think most parents would take their children being happy over forcing them into a career path they don't want to go down.
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Post by who throws a shoe?! on Jun 7, 2011 15:16:30 GMT -5
Trust me, as someone who studied medicine for 2 years and dropped out, if you aren't feeling it now, it will be hell later if you do go into it. Telling them will be so much easier than suffering years of working your arse off for something you're not enjoying, especially when it's really difficult.
Just mention the money they'll save by not having to pay for it, that usually works. Failing that, totally screw up in your interviews, then nowhere will offer you a place. Problem solved!
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Post by Michael Coello on Jun 7, 2011 15:19:27 GMT -5
So, if not a doctor's, what would you be?
Just would be good to know an answer to move onto next. Parent's don't usually like when someone does nothing.
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Post by potpie on Jun 7, 2011 15:51:03 GMT -5
I honestly wish I had your issue. When I tried to be a doctor, I had nobody in my family to support me or draw experience from. Nobody at that point in family had education past college. I too had not taken all the prereq.s, so I nickle and dimed myself to death. Eventually I settled on chiro school, because I could not afford the MCAT. It was the most expensive mistake ever. That's what you tell your parents- if you fund a future I don't want, it'll be your most expensive mistake ever. But be prepared with a back-up plan. Tell them you will do something constructive- law, teaching, business, whatever- that's not gonna have to be your job for life, you know? However, your parents are right to get you to focus on something. This is all temporary. I'm going to be a personal trainer now. Later, I want to be an EMT. If I ever pull myself out of the abyss of financial hardship, I'll try again. Honestly, they best policy is blunt honesty. Don't be rude, and be prepared for freakout, and have a backup plan. It's your life, after all, so don't let others dictate it for you.
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Post by jrcz on Jun 7, 2011 15:52:30 GMT -5
"You can be a doctor and THEN you can do what you want in life! "
What?
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Post by YAKMAN is ICHIBAN on Jun 7, 2011 15:57:31 GMT -5
I'm through two years of law school and I am thinking about quitting. Only reason I'm not
1. Already have two years of debt
2. A law degree + debt or no degree + debt.
3. I have no idea what the hell else I would do anyway. If I could come up with a good alternative as to what the hell I'd like to do with my life, I might be able to overlook the above calculus.
2 years in and I haven't been able to land an internship though. That doesn't bode well.
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Burst
El Dandy
*inarticulate squawking*
Posts: 8,599
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Post by Burst on Jun 7, 2011 15:57:53 GMT -5
"You can be a doctor and THEN you can do what you want in life! " What? It stems from me having wanted to be a writer. They seem to have this rosy picture that once I'm officially a Dr. and get settled, then I'll have more time and money to try to write a novel or whatever. But I'd rather not have to wait til middle age to start doing things I like. And to the posters mentioning a back-up plan, part of my dilemma right now... is that I kinda don't have one. Writing was my intended field, I was planning on entering a Master's program for writing or English and going from there to teaching or something, but I got talked out of that. As it is, the uncertainty is driving me insane as much as the not liking medicine is.
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Post by who throws a shoe?! on Jun 7, 2011 16:12:47 GMT -5
Yes, I've often heard that doctors, especially newly qualified ones, have plenty of time to write novels... Not to sound too rude but do your parents live in the same world as the rest of us? As for having a back up plan, I guess I'm in the minority for thinking that you don't need to have one to justify not wanting to do something else. It shouldn't be a case of I don't want to do X but I'll do Y instead. It's your life. If you don't want to study medicine, tell them. What's the worst that can happen?
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Post by YAKMAN is ICHIBAN on Jun 7, 2011 16:15:56 GMT -5
Addendum to my story - GET OUT BEFORE if you are sure about wanting out. It is easier to not go in than to bail midway.
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Post by FUNK_US/BRODUS on Jun 7, 2011 16:22:05 GMT -5
Tell them now. Tell them now, and tell them over and over until they listen. Its gonna bbe awkward, but it needs to be done.
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Post by Red Impact on Jun 7, 2011 16:22:27 GMT -5
Well, to be fair, some specialists do work few hours for great pay. But that'll be nearly a decade of schooling including medical school to go to it.
Thing is, grad school isn't easy, you don't have free time if you actually want to do well, and your personal life is going to take a hit. If you want to pursue grad school at all, you should be well aware of that. Sure, med school is hard, but so are the other advanced degrees. And depending on where you want to teach, a Masters may not be enough. If you have to get a Ph. D., it's just as big of a pain in the ass.
But if your heart isn't into what you're studying as an undergrad, you probably won't grow out of it. You may flunk out of it, but you won't likely grow out of it. These schools are hard for a reason, and that's to make sure that the people in it really want to be in it and really want to work at it are the ones who are there at the end. If you aren't into it now, if you aren't excited about the prospect of doing that for the rest of your life, then get out before then. There's no shame in that. And if you do know what you want to do and they don't approve, forget them. Go for it and if it doesn't work out, you'll be one of the few people who are actually willing to risk failure to take a shot at what you wanted instead of doing what you hated from the beginning. They aren't the ones who are going to have to go to work everyday and do it, you are.
But also realize that you don't have to know what you want to do now. You're fretting about the Peace Corps because you don't know what you'll do when you get back, but you'd have two years to figure that out while you're there. Too many people, myself included, just felt pressured to "pick something" and plan the rest of your life based on that. We're supposed to plan out our lives entirely from middle school and very few of us actually have a clue about what our dream jobs entail or what things are like in the real world. Honestly, a lot of people just don't have the experience to truly know what they want to do, they just have a college catalog and inflated promises. If it will help you, take some time elsewhere. You have plenty of time to work in your life, so you can take the time to actually figure out what it is you want to do.
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Tarik Dee
Hank Scorpio
I loved you before I even ever knew what love was like
Posts: 5,233
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Post by Tarik Dee on Jun 7, 2011 16:46:09 GMT -5
"You can be a doctor and THEN you can do what you want in life! " What? That's exactly the way we live our life in my family. "Become something that will give you money, then you can be whatever you want"
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Post by Hit Girl on Jun 7, 2011 17:09:24 GMT -5
Quit now.
No point in continuing with something you have no interest in
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Post by Cyno on Jun 7, 2011 17:15:21 GMT -5
Better to quit now then midway through with a lot of time and money wasted.
Worse comes to worse, pull a Kumar on interviews.
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Post by Non Banjoble Tokens on Jun 7, 2011 17:18:52 GMT -5
This is sort of like the way my parents are always pushing for me to be a rodeo clown, but I just want to be a regular clown. Okay, that's not true, I just wanted to relate.
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Tony Stark
Bubba Ho-Tep
I'm totally not Iron Man ?_?
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Post by Tony Stark on Jun 7, 2011 17:30:17 GMT -5
I feel your pain. Since I was 16 I wanted to be a teacher, so my mam pushed me to work hard to get there. This past year of college (second year) the work became inhumane. I was having reservations, but my mam's attitude was similar to your parents "do what you want once you're qualified as a teacher". Thankfully, the choice of me leaving the course was made for me, so I didn't have to deal with the backlash for too long.
Basically, the moral of the story is, if you want something enough, you'll be able to find a way to it, and convince those around you you're making the right decision.
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Post by potpie on Jun 7, 2011 20:01:04 GMT -5
Too many people, myself included, just felt pressured to "pick something" and plan the rest of your life based on that. We're supposed to plan out our lives entirely from middle school and very few of us actually have a clue about what our dream jobs entail or what things are like in the real world. Yes, this is what I was getting at. The reality is most of us don't have dream jobs, but we can do a job we enjoy, and that's the key to happiness. For example, I hate the factory, but I enjoy working out and teaching. So...I'm going to try personal training. Your job prospects don't have to be med school or nothing, writer or nothing. Take a job that you can for now, and branch out from there. The only reason I said "back-up plan" was to give some alternative skeleton you could build your life on instead of throwing up your hands and saying, "well, I'm screwed".
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