Post by angryfan on May 20, 2006 23:33:17 GMT -5
(scene opens with the group on the way to the set of See No Evil)
HHH: Tell me again why I’m not in this movie?
Steph: Hunter, you’ve had movie roles, we simply felt Kane was right for this part.
HHH: But I can be scary too.
Steph: Look at it this way, at least you can say one member of this family is in the movie.
HHH: What? Who?
(Steph points to Sledgie, who is leaned against one of the seats, wearing his robe and a pair of sunglasses)
HHH: WHAT??? He got a part? How did HE get a part in a horror movie?
Steph: He just has a presence, that’s all. We just felt like he’d be perfect for a supporting role.
HHH: This is an uncredited part, right? He’s not getting billing is he?
Steph: Well…
HHH: Well? Well what?
Steph: Oh relax, it’s just a movie role. Besides, we’ve already printed up new publicity fliers and everything. (she hands one to HHH from her briefcase)
HHH: (lreading the flier) WWE films is proud to present Kane and Sledige in their motion picture debut? THEIR motion picture debut? You said it was a small role.
Steph: Oh relax.
HHH: How am I supposed to do that, knowing he’s upstaging me again?
Steph: I don’t care how you do it, just do it.
HHH: Fine. (he pushes a button, which opens a door near the back of the bus)
Scotty: (popping his head out) You need something? I’m in the middle of a fantastic game of solitaire, best oen I’ve ever played.
(HHH walks over and kicks Scotty in the stomach, Pedigreeing him on the floor of the bus, then returns to his seat)
Steph: Do you feel better now?
HHH: Some, but I’d still like a movie part, too.
Steph: Well, you can always ask the director.
Gold Dust: Why don’t I ever get movie roles? It would be so (deep breath) natural.
HHH: Simple, they’ve already got a guy to play C3PO.
Booker (Popping up from the co-pilot’s chair) Tell me he didn’t just say that.
Gold Dust: Well, regardless, we’re here.
(the gang exits the bus with Steph in the lead, HHH carrying Sledgie, and Flair taking up the rear, with HHH Jr strapped to his back. They are met by the director, Gregory Dark)
Dark: I’m glad you guys made it, we’re having a few issues with the last minute shots.
HHH: I thought you guys were already in post-production.
Dark: Well, we are, we just had to re-shoot a few scenes to make them more dramatic.
Steph: So what’s the problem?
Dark: Well, Kane’s friends are a bit distracting.
HHH: Friends? He has friends?
Dark: See for yourself (he points to a nearby trailer. The door bursts open and Kane (in full movie costume but wearing a BWO half shirt, bursts out followed by Stevie, Nova, and Meanie) You see what I mean?
Steph: Well…that may be my fault.
HHH: Your fault?
Steph: Yeah, I sort of suggested they group up.
HHH: But…why?
Steph: I’m not really sure, I know I had a good reason, but I can’t remember it right now.
Kane: (walking over, trailed by the others) I’m glad you guys made it. I can’t wait to wrap up so the guys and I can go hang out at this place Stevie told me about.
HHH: (whispering to Flair) The unemployment line?
Kane: I really want to tank you Steph, I’ve really needed this change to cope with the stress of acting. (to Sledgie) And how’s my co-star doing?
(Sledgie, as always, says nothing)
Kane: I’m telling you, he’s a natural. (to Dark) So we going to film this last scene?
Dark: Please, let’s finish this up quickly so we can make deadline.
Kane: Ok (he gets a serious look on his face) Tell me about my motivation? It helps me focus.
Dark: Well, you were locked in a cage full of porn as a child, but when you, well, touched yourself, your mother sprayed you in the face with chemicals. So now when you see a beautiful woman, you want to kill people instead of touching yourself.
Kane: (starting to laugh) That’s the most idiotic thing in the world.
Dark: Sir, I really wish you’d take my film seriously.
Kane: How am I supposed to be some hate-filled psycho, even for one scene, because I couldn’t look at porn? It’s just silly. I need something to get me angry. (he looks at the BWO) Meanie, do it.
Meanie: (taking out a piece of paper) You sure about this?
Kane; Hell yes I’m sure, if anything will get me angry, this will.
Meanie: Whatever you say. (he takes a few steps back and looks down at the paper) Christmas Creature.
(Kane’s face goes blank)
Meanie: Isaac Yankem, DDS.
(Kane’s jaw tightens)
Meanie: Fake Diesel.
Kane: Must…kill.
Meanie: (hiding behind Nova and Stevie) Katie Vick.
Kane: (screaming) Somebody’s gonna die! (he grabs Sledgie, rips of the BWO shirt and heads off to the set)
Dark: (to Meanie) Thank you for your help.
Meanie: No problem. I’m not getting fired, right?
Dark: (heading to his position) Of course not.
Meanie: Thank God.
(scene ends)
(scene opens in the director’s trailer with Dark and the gang relaxing over drinks)
Dark: I think that went very well today, don’t you?
Steph: Yeah, I think we have a real winner on our hands, don’t you, Hunter?
HHH: (distractedly looking through a stack of Dark’s early films) Uh…yeah, went great, sure. Say, any chance you’ve got a role for me in your next movie?
Dark: Well, actually, I might.
HHH: Really?
Dark: Yes. I’m thinking of going back to my roots a little bit with my next piece, and I think you’d be perfect for it.
HHH: (leaning in) Go on.
Dark: Well, I assisted in directing a film a few years ago that I believe a friend of yours, a Mr Waltman, was in.
HHH: Yeah, I know he mentioned something about doing a movie, but I didn’t think you were involved.
Dark: I was more of a consultant, given my expertise in the field.
HHH: So, what does that have to do with me?
Dark: I think you’d be a perfect fit for one of the three leads.
HHH: Three? Who were the other two?
Dark: Well, your friend Mr Waltman has agreed to work with me again, and given your past relationship, I think you two would have some chemistry together. It would make for, how can I say this, a much more believable role.
HHH: So, it’s a kind of buddy flick, right?
Dark: You could say that.
HHH: You know what, I like it, I haven’t worked with Sean in a long time, and it’d be fun. Sign me up.
Dark: Really? I haven’t even outlined the project.
HHH: I don’t’ care, after my stellar performance in Blade Trinity, you have seen it I assume, I miss the silver screen. (to Flair) Hear that Naitch? I’ve got a starring role.
Flair: (eyes fixed on a few deleted scenes of the female co-stars in the shower) Wooooo.
HHH: Steph, what do you think of that? Me in a starring role. Finally people will get a chance to see what I’m all about. Then the Academy will realize that I am the Game, the King of Kings, and That…Damn…Good.
Steph: That’s nice, dear. So Mr. Dark, what is this next project? Maybe WWE Films could assist in the production?
Dark: That would be wonderful. I plan on making a sequel to a film produced a few years ago, that was somewhat of a cult hit. I truly think that with my vision, and the acting skills of your husband, we can make people stand up and take notice.
HHH: (to Sledgie) You hear that? Stand up and take notice. Match that with your little co-starring role.
(Slegie, of course says nothing)
Dark: My working title for the film is A Layover in Chyna.
HHH: Yeah, that’s right, a starring role in…what? What was the title again?
Dark: A Layover In Chyna.
HHH: You don’t mean…
(the door bursts open and in steps Joanie Laurer, looking annoyed as always, and slightly intoxicated)
Joanie: That’s right, now you’ll have to return my phone calls, you selfish bastard. Don’t you know what you’ve done to me? Don’t you realize - ?
HHH: It’s not to late for me to back out, is it?
Dark: I’m afraid your agreement constitutes a verbal contract, which can be binding.
HHH: Can’t someone else do it? I mean her, do her. No, no wait, I mean, the film, can’t someone else do the film?
Dark: No.
HHH: Steph? Little help?
Steph: Sorry, dear, an agreement is an agreement.
HHH: DAMN IT!
HHH: Tell me again why I’m not in this movie?
Steph: Hunter, you’ve had movie roles, we simply felt Kane was right for this part.
HHH: But I can be scary too.
Steph: Look at it this way, at least you can say one member of this family is in the movie.
HHH: What? Who?
(Steph points to Sledgie, who is leaned against one of the seats, wearing his robe and a pair of sunglasses)
HHH: WHAT??? He got a part? How did HE get a part in a horror movie?
Steph: He just has a presence, that’s all. We just felt like he’d be perfect for a supporting role.
HHH: This is an uncredited part, right? He’s not getting billing is he?
Steph: Well…
HHH: Well? Well what?
Steph: Oh relax, it’s just a movie role. Besides, we’ve already printed up new publicity fliers and everything. (she hands one to HHH from her briefcase)
HHH: (lreading the flier) WWE films is proud to present Kane and Sledige in their motion picture debut? THEIR motion picture debut? You said it was a small role.
Steph: Oh relax.
HHH: How am I supposed to do that, knowing he’s upstaging me again?
Steph: I don’t care how you do it, just do it.
HHH: Fine. (he pushes a button, which opens a door near the back of the bus)
Scotty: (popping his head out) You need something? I’m in the middle of a fantastic game of solitaire, best oen I’ve ever played.
(HHH walks over and kicks Scotty in the stomach, Pedigreeing him on the floor of the bus, then returns to his seat)
Steph: Do you feel better now?
HHH: Some, but I’d still like a movie part, too.
Steph: Well, you can always ask the director.
Gold Dust: Why don’t I ever get movie roles? It would be so (deep breath) natural.
HHH: Simple, they’ve already got a guy to play C3PO.
Booker (Popping up from the co-pilot’s chair) Tell me he didn’t just say that.
Gold Dust: Well, regardless, we’re here.
(the gang exits the bus with Steph in the lead, HHH carrying Sledgie, and Flair taking up the rear, with HHH Jr strapped to his back. They are met by the director, Gregory Dark)
Dark: I’m glad you guys made it, we’re having a few issues with the last minute shots.
HHH: I thought you guys were already in post-production.
Dark: Well, we are, we just had to re-shoot a few scenes to make them more dramatic.
Steph: So what’s the problem?
Dark: Well, Kane’s friends are a bit distracting.
HHH: Friends? He has friends?
Dark: See for yourself (he points to a nearby trailer. The door bursts open and Kane (in full movie costume but wearing a BWO half shirt, bursts out followed by Stevie, Nova, and Meanie) You see what I mean?
Steph: Well…that may be my fault.
HHH: Your fault?
Steph: Yeah, I sort of suggested they group up.
HHH: But…why?
Steph: I’m not really sure, I know I had a good reason, but I can’t remember it right now.
Kane: (walking over, trailed by the others) I’m glad you guys made it. I can’t wait to wrap up so the guys and I can go hang out at this place Stevie told me about.
HHH: (whispering to Flair) The unemployment line?
Kane: I really want to tank you Steph, I’ve really needed this change to cope with the stress of acting. (to Sledgie) And how’s my co-star doing?
(Sledgie, as always, says nothing)
Kane: I’m telling you, he’s a natural. (to Dark) So we going to film this last scene?
Dark: Please, let’s finish this up quickly so we can make deadline.
Kane: Ok (he gets a serious look on his face) Tell me about my motivation? It helps me focus.
Dark: Well, you were locked in a cage full of porn as a child, but when you, well, touched yourself, your mother sprayed you in the face with chemicals. So now when you see a beautiful woman, you want to kill people instead of touching yourself.
Kane: (starting to laugh) That’s the most idiotic thing in the world.
Dark: Sir, I really wish you’d take my film seriously.
Kane: How am I supposed to be some hate-filled psycho, even for one scene, because I couldn’t look at porn? It’s just silly. I need something to get me angry. (he looks at the BWO) Meanie, do it.
Meanie: (taking out a piece of paper) You sure about this?
Kane; Hell yes I’m sure, if anything will get me angry, this will.
Meanie: Whatever you say. (he takes a few steps back and looks down at the paper) Christmas Creature.
(Kane’s face goes blank)
Meanie: Isaac Yankem, DDS.
(Kane’s jaw tightens)
Meanie: Fake Diesel.
Kane: Must…kill.
Meanie: (hiding behind Nova and Stevie) Katie Vick.
Kane: (screaming) Somebody’s gonna die! (he grabs Sledgie, rips of the BWO shirt and heads off to the set)
Dark: (to Meanie) Thank you for your help.
Meanie: No problem. I’m not getting fired, right?
Dark: (heading to his position) Of course not.
Meanie: Thank God.
(scene ends)
(scene opens in the director’s trailer with Dark and the gang relaxing over drinks)
Dark: I think that went very well today, don’t you?
Steph: Yeah, I think we have a real winner on our hands, don’t you, Hunter?
HHH: (distractedly looking through a stack of Dark’s early films) Uh…yeah, went great, sure. Say, any chance you’ve got a role for me in your next movie?
Dark: Well, actually, I might.
HHH: Really?
Dark: Yes. I’m thinking of going back to my roots a little bit with my next piece, and I think you’d be perfect for it.
HHH: (leaning in) Go on.
Dark: Well, I assisted in directing a film a few years ago that I believe a friend of yours, a Mr Waltman, was in.
HHH: Yeah, I know he mentioned something about doing a movie, but I didn’t think you were involved.
Dark: I was more of a consultant, given my expertise in the field.
HHH: So, what does that have to do with me?
Dark: I think you’d be a perfect fit for one of the three leads.
HHH: Three? Who were the other two?
Dark: Well, your friend Mr Waltman has agreed to work with me again, and given your past relationship, I think you two would have some chemistry together. It would make for, how can I say this, a much more believable role.
HHH: So, it’s a kind of buddy flick, right?
Dark: You could say that.
HHH: You know what, I like it, I haven’t worked with Sean in a long time, and it’d be fun. Sign me up.
Dark: Really? I haven’t even outlined the project.
HHH: I don’t’ care, after my stellar performance in Blade Trinity, you have seen it I assume, I miss the silver screen. (to Flair) Hear that Naitch? I’ve got a starring role.
Flair: (eyes fixed on a few deleted scenes of the female co-stars in the shower) Wooooo.
HHH: Steph, what do you think of that? Me in a starring role. Finally people will get a chance to see what I’m all about. Then the Academy will realize that I am the Game, the King of Kings, and That…Damn…Good.
Steph: That’s nice, dear. So Mr. Dark, what is this next project? Maybe WWE Films could assist in the production?
Dark: That would be wonderful. I plan on making a sequel to a film produced a few years ago, that was somewhat of a cult hit. I truly think that with my vision, and the acting skills of your husband, we can make people stand up and take notice.
HHH: (to Sledgie) You hear that? Stand up and take notice. Match that with your little co-starring role.
(Slegie, of course says nothing)
Dark: My working title for the film is A Layover in Chyna.
HHH: Yeah, that’s right, a starring role in…what? What was the title again?
Dark: A Layover In Chyna.
HHH: You don’t mean…
(the door bursts open and in steps Joanie Laurer, looking annoyed as always, and slightly intoxicated)
Joanie: That’s right, now you’ll have to return my phone calls, you selfish bastard. Don’t you know what you’ve done to me? Don’t you realize - ?
HHH: It’s not to late for me to back out, is it?
Dark: I’m afraid your agreement constitutes a verbal contract, which can be binding.
HHH: Can’t someone else do it? I mean her, do her. No, no wait, I mean, the film, can’t someone else do the film?
Dark: No.
HHH: Steph? Little help?
Steph: Sorry, dear, an agreement is an agreement.
HHH: DAMN IT!
