Post by angryfan on May 5, 2006 19:56:39 GMT -5
Here we go, the latest episode. I'm posting it here, but it will be archived with the otehrs over at the site.
(scene opens in a hospital. Steph is being wheeled in on a stretcher while clutching Sledgie, while HHH and Flair follow)
HHH: Just breathe, Steph, it’ll be ok.
Steph: (face contorted with pain) Easy for you to say.
(the stretcher is wheeled into the maternity ward, as a group of doctors and nurses gather around)
Nurse: Just breathe deeply, how far apart are the contractions?
Steph: (gasping) Two minutes.
Doctor: Excuse me, but this room is a bit crowded –
HHH: Then leave.
Doctor: It’s my job to be here. Ma’am, you’ll need to tell us, who can stay and who needs to wait outside.
HHH: I’ll be staying, I’m the father.
Steph: Hunter, wait outside.
HHH: Outside? But, I’m the father, I’m the Game, I’m the King of –
Steph: OUTSIDE!
HHH: But won’t you need me for support?
Steph: (patting Sledgie) I’ve got my lamas coach.
HHH: Your WHAT?
Steph: Yeah, he and Naitch helped me with my breathing technique.
Flair: (inhales) Wooo (inhales) Wooo
HHH: Then what am I supposed to do?
Steph: Anything but stand here!
(HHH departs dejectedly)
Steph: Thanks for staying with me guys.
Flair: Woo.
(Sledgie of course says nothing)
Steph: Awwwww, you guys are so sweet.
(in the waiting room)
HHH: (pacing) Damn it, this is horrible. I’m stuck out here while my wife gives birth. This is wrong, this is very wrong. Those doctors have no idea who they’re dealing with.
Orderly: Is your wife expecting?
HHH: Yeah, and I’m stuck out here.
Orderly: Well, those rooms can get pretty crowded. Tell you what, is there anything I can do for you?
HHH: Well…now that you mention it. (he kicks the orderly and Pedigrees him on a stack of four year old Redbooks) When you wake up, tell the doctors in there that they need to respect me.
Sheik: (popping in a nearby door) We suplex them, put them in camel clutch, break their backs, make them humble. They learn to respect Iron Sheik, respect fatherhood. (he departs)
Vince: (entering the room in a hurried Buddy Rogers strut) WHERE IS SHE?
HHH: Calm down, Vince, she’s in the delivery room.
Vince: You’re telling me that my daughter, the product of my omnipotent semen is in their giving birth to your child, the fruit of your loins, and you’re out HERE?
HHH: Uh…that’s pretty much what I just said, only more creepy, yeah.
Vince: So are you going to have him baptized in McMahonism?
HHH: Well…how can I put this? No, no we’re not. Have you lost your damn mind? You can’t just start a religion.
Vince: I’m VincentKennedyMcMahonDamnIt, I can do whatever the hell I want!
HHH: Uh, sure, whatever. Anyway, are you excited about having another grandchild?
Vince: I have grandchildren?
Shane: (entering the room) Yeah, did you forget about my kids?
Vince: Ah, look who it is. Why, it’s my son, Shane. No, of course I didn’t forget about your children. They’re the product of your loins, which in turn are a product of mine. So, vicariously, they’re a product of my loins. They’re descended from the Genetic Jackhammer…
Shane: (ignoring Vince) So, you excited about fatherhood?
HHH: Yeah. I can’t wait to teach him all the important things –
(HHH is interrupted as three nurses come running through the room, followed by a semi-clothed Flair)
Flair: Wooooooooooooooooooooo!
Hunter: Like I was saying, I want to teach him how to wrestle, how to be that damn good. You know, all the little things.
Shane: I hear you, man. I’ve been working with Declan on some stuff too. Say, is that orderly over there dead?
HHH: Nah, just unconscious.
Shane: Cool. Hey, Declan, come here, and show Uncle Hunter what you’ve learned.
Declan: Ok, Dad.
(Declan climbs on top of the nearest nurse’s station and dives off, delivering an elbow to the fallen orderly)
Declan: Did I do good?
Shane: That was fantastic, good job kiddo.
(back in the delivery room)
Steph: The contractions are getting worse, I think it’s almost time.
Doctor: Alright, just relax, we’ve got two people here to assist with the delivery process.
(Mae Yong and Rico enter the room)
Steph: What’re you two doing here?
Mae: I’m a trained professional.
Steph: You are?
Mae: Hell yes, I helped deliver your father.
Steph: What about you, Rico?
Rico: (dances) I’m faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabulous at this. I’m an EMT and eeeeeeeverything, remember? Plus, I just happened to be in the building?
Steph: Why were you here?
Rico: Charlie and Jackie are having a baby, isn’t that amaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing?
Steph: Wow, we’re going to have a busy neighborhood. Do they know if it’s a boy or a girl?
Rico: They have to redo the test?
Steph: Redo? What happened?
Rico: Well, between you and me, Jackie’s still pretty new at the whole ultrasound procedure, and, well, there’s always a learning curve.
Steph: You don’t mean?
Rico: Yeah, she missed another spot. No big deal though, they’ll get it right eventually.
Mae: Enough chatter ladies, let’s get to birthing. (spits tobacco juice)
(back in the waiting room)
HHH: What’s taking so long?
(HBK enters the room)
HBK: Hey, man, I hear she’s in labor.
HHH: Yeah, but how’d you hear?
HBK: Connections, man, connections.
HHH: Uh…ok. What’s up?
HBK: Look man, we’re both fathers now, I just figure we can bury the hatchet and be cool like the old days.
HHH: Well, I guess we could –
(hospital employee enters with security)
Security: Gentlemen, I’m sorry to bother you, but this waiting room is getting a bit crowded, could we possibly move things outside?
HHH: You want us to what?
Security: Well, it’s policy that –
(security is cut off with a superkick to the mouth, and the hospital employee receives a pedigree for good measure. Shawn and HHH then do a simultaneous crotch chop)
HBK: Wow, that was fun.
HHH: Yeah, you know, it was. I’ve missed that.
HBK: Me too. Say, what would you think about –
(doctor rushes in)
Doctor: Gentlemen, she’s ready. They baby is on its way.
(the group runs to the delivery room)
Mae: Push, PUSH!
HHH: No, don’t push. He’s too small!
Shane: Hunter, she means push the baby out.
HHH: Oh, sorry about that, reflex.
Rico: One more push, Steph, just one more.
(the door bursts open, and Albert is chased in by his personal security detail)
Albert: BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG!
Steph: (screams and pushes)
(with the push, the baby is delivered. Moments later Steph is holding her son, with the gang gathered around)
Steph: Isn’t this amazing?
Flair: Woooooooo!
HHH: I don’t know what to s ay here?
(Sledgie, as always, says nothing, but slides down the hospital bed and lays flat. The Gamenewborn reaches out and drapes an arm across Sledgie. From out of nowhere a ref appears and makes a three count)
HHH: What the hell just happened?
Steph: Isn’t it adorable?
HHH: What…just…happened?
Steph: Sledgie passed the torch.
Darth Vader: (entering room) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
HHH: DAMN IT!
(scene opens in a hospital. Steph is being wheeled in on a stretcher while clutching Sledgie, while HHH and Flair follow)
HHH: Just breathe, Steph, it’ll be ok.
Steph: (face contorted with pain) Easy for you to say.
(the stretcher is wheeled into the maternity ward, as a group of doctors and nurses gather around)
Nurse: Just breathe deeply, how far apart are the contractions?
Steph: (gasping) Two minutes.
Doctor: Excuse me, but this room is a bit crowded –
HHH: Then leave.
Doctor: It’s my job to be here. Ma’am, you’ll need to tell us, who can stay and who needs to wait outside.
HHH: I’ll be staying, I’m the father.
Steph: Hunter, wait outside.
HHH: Outside? But, I’m the father, I’m the Game, I’m the King of –
Steph: OUTSIDE!
HHH: But won’t you need me for support?
Steph: (patting Sledgie) I’ve got my lamas coach.
HHH: Your WHAT?
Steph: Yeah, he and Naitch helped me with my breathing technique.
Flair: (inhales) Wooo (inhales) Wooo
HHH: Then what am I supposed to do?
Steph: Anything but stand here!
(HHH departs dejectedly)
Steph: Thanks for staying with me guys.
Flair: Woo.
(Sledgie of course says nothing)
Steph: Awwwww, you guys are so sweet.
(in the waiting room)
HHH: (pacing) Damn it, this is horrible. I’m stuck out here while my wife gives birth. This is wrong, this is very wrong. Those doctors have no idea who they’re dealing with.
Orderly: Is your wife expecting?
HHH: Yeah, and I’m stuck out here.
Orderly: Well, those rooms can get pretty crowded. Tell you what, is there anything I can do for you?
HHH: Well…now that you mention it. (he kicks the orderly and Pedigrees him on a stack of four year old Redbooks) When you wake up, tell the doctors in there that they need to respect me.
Sheik: (popping in a nearby door) We suplex them, put them in camel clutch, break their backs, make them humble. They learn to respect Iron Sheik, respect fatherhood. (he departs)
Vince: (entering the room in a hurried Buddy Rogers strut) WHERE IS SHE?
HHH: Calm down, Vince, she’s in the delivery room.
Vince: You’re telling me that my daughter, the product of my omnipotent semen is in their giving birth to your child, the fruit of your loins, and you’re out HERE?
HHH: Uh…that’s pretty much what I just said, only more creepy, yeah.
Vince: So are you going to have him baptized in McMahonism?
HHH: Well…how can I put this? No, no we’re not. Have you lost your damn mind? You can’t just start a religion.
Vince: I’m VincentKennedyMcMahonDamnIt, I can do whatever the hell I want!
HHH: Uh, sure, whatever. Anyway, are you excited about having another grandchild?
Vince: I have grandchildren?
Shane: (entering the room) Yeah, did you forget about my kids?
Vince: Ah, look who it is. Why, it’s my son, Shane. No, of course I didn’t forget about your children. They’re the product of your loins, which in turn are a product of mine. So, vicariously, they’re a product of my loins. They’re descended from the Genetic Jackhammer…
Shane: (ignoring Vince) So, you excited about fatherhood?
HHH: Yeah. I can’t wait to teach him all the important things –
(HHH is interrupted as three nurses come running through the room, followed by a semi-clothed Flair)
Flair: Wooooooooooooooooooooo!
Hunter: Like I was saying, I want to teach him how to wrestle, how to be that damn good. You know, all the little things.
Shane: I hear you, man. I’ve been working with Declan on some stuff too. Say, is that orderly over there dead?
HHH: Nah, just unconscious.
Shane: Cool. Hey, Declan, come here, and show Uncle Hunter what you’ve learned.
Declan: Ok, Dad.
(Declan climbs on top of the nearest nurse’s station and dives off, delivering an elbow to the fallen orderly)
Declan: Did I do good?
Shane: That was fantastic, good job kiddo.
(back in the delivery room)
Steph: The contractions are getting worse, I think it’s almost time.
Doctor: Alright, just relax, we’ve got two people here to assist with the delivery process.
(Mae Yong and Rico enter the room)
Steph: What’re you two doing here?
Mae: I’m a trained professional.
Steph: You are?
Mae: Hell yes, I helped deliver your father.
Steph: What about you, Rico?
Rico: (dances) I’m faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabulous at this. I’m an EMT and eeeeeeeverything, remember? Plus, I just happened to be in the building?
Steph: Why were you here?
Rico: Charlie and Jackie are having a baby, isn’t that amaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing?
Steph: Wow, we’re going to have a busy neighborhood. Do they know if it’s a boy or a girl?
Rico: They have to redo the test?
Steph: Redo? What happened?
Rico: Well, between you and me, Jackie’s still pretty new at the whole ultrasound procedure, and, well, there’s always a learning curve.
Steph: You don’t mean?
Rico: Yeah, she missed another spot. No big deal though, they’ll get it right eventually.
Mae: Enough chatter ladies, let’s get to birthing. (spits tobacco juice)
(back in the waiting room)
HHH: What’s taking so long?
(HBK enters the room)
HBK: Hey, man, I hear she’s in labor.
HHH: Yeah, but how’d you hear?
HBK: Connections, man, connections.
HHH: Uh…ok. What’s up?
HBK: Look man, we’re both fathers now, I just figure we can bury the hatchet and be cool like the old days.
HHH: Well, I guess we could –
(hospital employee enters with security)
Security: Gentlemen, I’m sorry to bother you, but this waiting room is getting a bit crowded, could we possibly move things outside?
HHH: You want us to what?
Security: Well, it’s policy that –
(security is cut off with a superkick to the mouth, and the hospital employee receives a pedigree for good measure. Shawn and HHH then do a simultaneous crotch chop)
HBK: Wow, that was fun.
HHH: Yeah, you know, it was. I’ve missed that.
HBK: Me too. Say, what would you think about –
(doctor rushes in)
Doctor: Gentlemen, she’s ready. They baby is on its way.
(the group runs to the delivery room)
Mae: Push, PUSH!
HHH: No, don’t push. He’s too small!
Shane: Hunter, she means push the baby out.
HHH: Oh, sorry about that, reflex.
Rico: One more push, Steph, just one more.
(the door bursts open, and Albert is chased in by his personal security detail)
Albert: BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG!
Steph: (screams and pushes)
(with the push, the baby is delivered. Moments later Steph is holding her son, with the gang gathered around)
Steph: Isn’t this amazing?
Flair: Woooooooo!
HHH: I don’t know what to s ay here?
(Sledgie, as always, says nothing, but slides down the hospital bed and lays flat. The Gamenewborn reaches out and drapes an arm across Sledgie. From out of nowhere a ref appears and makes a three count)
HHH: What the hell just happened?
Steph: Isn’t it adorable?
HHH: What…just…happened?
Steph: Sledgie passed the torch.
Darth Vader: (entering room) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
HHH: DAMN IT!
