Crappy Local Indy Stories

[devilfish]

Hey guys, I thought this would good for a couple of laughs.

I LOVE going to indy wrestling shows, and here in Tennessee, we actually have a few decent Indy promotions. Of course for every good show I see, there are about a dozen bad ones, and well, I thought it would be cool to share one of mine, and ask you to share your stories. Here goes.

This show took place a bout...I think 3 years ago at the local little league ball-field. It was run and booked by an old acquaintance of mine named Pat Peavely (AKA: Perfect Pat) It was a free show, and well...me and my Dad got our money's worth. Where to start?

Well, Pat decided to call his promotion "Southeastern Championship Wrestling" to cash in on the famous Knoxville Territory of the 70s. The ring was set up in the parking lot, and the only seats were concrete bleachers about 200 feet away from the ring. The dressing rooms were in the local rec. center next to the ball-field...about 500 feet away, meaning that everyone's entrances were about 2 minutes long. This would all be fine however...if the actual wrestling was good.....it wasn't. Now I will forgive indies of a lot of things, but I will not forgive when the wrestlers simply aren't trying. And no-one was giving it an effort. Even the ring announcer was a joke saying things like "Uh, the next match is...like...one fall with a 10 minute limit"...The low point came with a cruiser-weight match featuring a guy named, I kid you not, "Jack Hardy." He was dressed like Matt Hardy, with facepaint like Jeff, and he even came out to "Modest", they basically tried to sell him as a third Hardy boy. The lowest point of this match came when he botched a Canadian Destroyer...in the most hilario of fashions. He didn't even flip, he just sort of rolled forward and his opponent sold it terribly.

Me and my dad finally left after a particularly onerous incident. During intermission, I was hungry, so I walked over to the concession stand to get a hot dog. I went back to be seat and...I kid you not...the Hot dog...wasn't...cooked! They had knowingly just served me a raw hot dog. I walked right back down, and talked to the lady behind the counter, and (get this) she was genuinely offended that I DARED to ask for a cooked Hot Dog. That was it...Me and dad left at that point. I read the results on their Facebook page, and it ended with local wrestling "legend" (and I use that term VERY loosely) Johnny Raynor getting screwed over by Commish Pat Peavley, doing his 131st heel turn.

Anyway, that's my story. What are yours?

Brian~

[thegigolo]

Mine's pretty short, but hilarious none the less. My mothers co-worker and friend ran a small promotion around here. I was thinking about being trained and joining, he had me backstage for hours before the show, he was giving his guys the finishes on peices of paper. He went to one, and said something like make sure to throw that away, but the guy not catching on, threw away the finish before reading it.

[Spankymac is sick of the swiss]

Outlaw Championship Wrestling, or Outlaw Wrestling Federation, I can't remember, something to do with Outlaw is all I can concretely recollect, in Dallas, GA. A crappy show in an indoor skatepark attended by about 15 people, half of whom were sitting on stacks of blue gym mats for want of chairs. Just a bad show from top to bottom, with the only bright spots being Chip Day, a guy named Big Country(basically a tall, downright MEAN looking redneck, which I thought made the name great), and an appearance by a fat, squat, Super Ninja. Also in attendance was one "Konga" Dave Wills.

["Playboy" Don Douglas]

Mar 16, 2011 0:37:21 GMT -5 devilfish said:

Hey guys, I thought this would good for a couple of laughs.

I LOVE going to indy wrestling shows, and here in Tennessee, we actually have a few decent Indy promotions. Of course for every good show I see, there are about a dozen bad ones, and well, I thought it would be cool to share one of mine, and ask you to share your stories. Here goes.

This show took place a bout...I think 3 years ago at the local little league ball-field. It was run and booked by an old acquaintance of mine named Pat Peavely (AKA: Perfect Pat) It was a free show, and well...me and my Dad got our money's worth. Where to start?

Well, Pat decided to call his promotion "Southeastern Championship Wrestling" to cash in on the famous Knoxville Territory of the 70s. The ring was set up in the parking lot, and the only seats were concrete bleachers about 200 feet away from the ring. The dressing rooms were in the local rec. center next to the ball-field...about 500 feet away, meaning that everyone's entrances were about 2 minutes long. This would all be fine however...if the actual wrestling was good.....it wasn't. Now I will forgive indies of a lot of things, but I will not forgive when the wrestlers simply aren't trying. And no-one was giving it an effort. Even the ring announcer was a joke saying things like "Uh, the next match is...like...one fall with a 10 minute limit"...The low point came with a cruiser-weight match featuring a guy named, I kid you not, "Jack Hardy." He was dressed like Matt Hardy, with facepaint like Jeff, and he even came out to "Modest", they basically tried to sell him as a third Hardy boy. The lowest point of this match came when he botched a Canadian Destroyer...in the most hilario of fashions. He didn't even flip, he just sort of rolled forward and his opponent sold it terribly.

Me and my dad finally left after a particularly onerous incident. During intermission, I was hungry, so I walked over to the concession stand to get a hot dog. I went back to be seat and...I kid you not...the Hot dog...wasn't...cooked! They had knowingly just served me a raw hot dog. I walked right back down, and talked to the lady behind the counter, and (get this) she was genuinely offended that I DARED to ask for a cooked Hot Dog. That was it...Me and dad left at that point. I read the results on their Facebook page, and it ended with local wrestling "legend" (and I use that term VERY loosely) Johnny Raynor getting screwed over by Commish Pat Peavley, doing his 131st heel turn.

Anyway, that's my story. What are yours?

Brian~

Holy crap. I wasn't at that show, but I went to one of Pat's shows a few years ago. Last I knew he was friends with my cousin, but I don't really know him. There was talk at one point a couple years or so ago that he was going to start running again and I was maybe going to be in on it. That never came to be, now the talk is that Johnny Raynor may start running again and I may be in on that. As with all things wrestling related, I'll believe it when I see it.

As a side note, I think I may have been on a card with the Hardy. He was using a different name and gimmick by this point, and apparently didn't like doing the Hardy bit. He didn't attempt a Canadian Destroyer as far as I recall.

I told this story in another thread, but as I mentioned then, I tell it when I can. I was working my first show for a tiny local group at a baseball field in the park. First, the show started an hour late because part way into setting up the ring, they realized they'd screwed something up and had to take it down and start over.

The guy I'm managing, one of my best friends, is also working his first match. We're opening. As most wrestlers seem to do these days, they planned the whole match out ahead of time. The finish was supposed to be this - Joey (my guy) hits a big move (can't remember what, something believable as a finisher) and goes for the cover. At the last possible moment, Austin (the face) gets his shoulder up. I jump on the apron and yell at the ref and while he's distracted with me, Joey gets his kendo stick out of the corner, nails Austin with it, gets the pin, and we have a rematch on the next show. No problem. Except they didn't clue the ref (Jack) in on the finish.

So they're having the match, and considering the experience level involved, they're having a pretty good one. I did some improv heel stuff at ringside that worked great and I actually got a "weasel" chant. Things are going great.

Then Joey hits the move. I think, "Okay, here we go," and start getting ready to throw a bitch fit the likes of which these people have never seen. He covers: 1, 2, and Jack hits 3 just as Jordan lifts his shoulder. Uh oh.

Everyone in the ring freezes. The crowd goes quiet because they can tell something is up. I can hear Joey and Austin both saying, "Jack, that's not the finish!" and Jack saying, "Sorry, guys." I'm standing at ringside thinking, "Oh shit." Then I think, "Do something! If you can hear them, odds are the fans are going to hear them soon, if they haven't already." When in doubt, do as you're told.

I jump on the apron and yell at Jack. "Hey! That was a 3 count! Are you trying to screw us over here? Ring the bell!" Jack just stares at me, with this almost sad look on his face. After a few seconds, and without taking his eyes off mine, he gives the signal and they ring the bell.

Now I'm standing on the apron, convinced that somehow I just screwed up the match. For the first time in the history of wrestling, the referee believed the heel manager when he said it was 3. It wasn't Bobby Heenan at the Pontiac Silverdome, it wasn't Jim Cornette at the Omni or Gary Hart at Texas Stadium. It was "Playboy" Don Douglas in front of 30 or 40 people (who didn't pay) at a small town baseball field.

The improvised. Joey grabbed the stick and started beating Austin anyway until Austin's partner made the save. Then the announcer/commisioner (a guy slightly ripping off JR) announces that he's reversed the decision. We come back out and jaw back and forth, then Joey slapped him and Austin made the save. So we had the rematch on the next show, with JR2 at ringside as a special enforcer to keep an eye on me.

This time we were the main event. Unfortunately, as you can probably tell, it says more about the rest of the card than it does about us.

[rapidfire187]

^ Awesome story, I'm lol'ing at the thought of the ref looking all sad and just agreeing with the heel manager. Moral to the story = Clue your ref in on the finish.

I've only been to one indy show and while it wasn't completely terrible, it had some hilariously bad wrestlers. TBH I can't even remember the name of the promotion, I want to say it was Georgia Wrestling Alliance but I may be getting it confused with another promotion. I know it had Georgia in the name, anyway...

I went because a female friend of mine was doing valet work on the show and called a few hours before it started to invite me. Tickets were only 5 bucks and I had been trying to hook up with her so I went.

I'll just say that half of the roster was the typical overweight subpar workers in street clothes that you'd expect from a crappy indy but for the most part they were inoffensive and didn't screw anything up. Plus the crowd of 30-40 rednecks were really into it.

There was a masked Japanese wrestler that was...as white as Sheamus. This guy also made Colin Delaney look like Hulk Hogan. Wasn't too bad in the ring but it was just hard to take him seriously because he looked like he was about 14.

There was a guy that must've weight 400 lbs and wrestled in a disgustingly tight singlet. He was a heel and actually got some serious heat. Unfortunately most of that heat was directed at his package (which was way too visible under his outfit). I was also a bit disappointed to see an old lady in the bleachers yelling "Faggot" at him and stuff (not that she was the only one, it just stood out to me because of her age). I mean he DID do the flamboyant gimmick so I'm sure that's the reaction he expected, but it just embarrasses me to live in Georgia sometimes.

The main event was actually pretty good. I can't remember either worker's name unfortunately. The challenger was a semi-fat black dude but he looked very dangerous and was a pretty good worker. The champion reminded me a lot of Shelton Benjamin and was very good in the ring. My friend was the champion's valet, and got involved with the finish.

It's also worth noting that I ended up hooking up with the valet, so it's not so much a crappy indy story as it is a holy-frickin' awesome indy story.

[Spankymac is sick of the swiss]

Mar 16, 2011 10:22:06 GMT -5 rapidfire187 said:

^ Awesome story, I'm lol'ing at the thought of the ref looking all sad and just agreeing with the heel manager. Moral to the story = Clue your ref in on the finish.

I've only been to one indy show and while it wasn't completely terrible, it had some hilariously bad wrestlers. TBH I can't even remember the name of the promotion, I want to say it was Georgia Wrestling Alliance but I may be getting it confused with another promotion. I know it had Georgia in the name, anyway...

I went because a female friend of mine was doing valet work on the show and called a few hours before it started to invite me. Tickets were only 5 bucks and I had been trying to hook up with her so I went.

I'll just say that half of the roster was the typical overweight subpar workers in street clothes that you'd expect from a crappy indy but for the most part they were inoffensive and didn't screw anything up. Plus the crowd of 30-40 rednecks were really into it.

There was a masked Japanese wrestler that was...as white as Sheamus. This guy also made Colin Delaney look like Hulk Hogan. Wasn't too bad in the ring but it was just hard to take him seriously because he looked like he was about 14.

There was a guy that must've weight 400 lbs and wrestled in a disgustingly tight singlet. He was a heel and actually got some serious heat. Unfortunately most of that heat was directed at his package (which was way too visible under his outfit). I was also a bit disappointed to see an old lady in the bleachers yelling "Faggot" at him and stuff (not that she was the only one, it just stood out to me because of her age). I mean he DID do the flamboyant gimmick so I'm sure that's the reaction he expected, but it just embarrasses me to live in Georgia sometimes.

The main event was actually pretty good. I can't remember either worker's name unfortunately. The challenger was a semi-fat black dude but he looked very dangerous and was a pretty good worker. The champion reminded me a lot of Shelton Benjamin and was very good in the ring. My friend was the champion's valet, and got involved with the finish.

It's also worth noting that I ended up hooking up with the valet, so it's not so much a crappy indy story as it is a holy-frickin' awesome indy story.

This big fat guy, do you remember if he was announced as The Professor? Because if so, MAN, do I have a story about that guy.

[thegigolo]

As a continuation of mine, I'll tell about meeting Jim Duggan there at the same show, he was working the ME, I got to talk to him for about an hour while back stage. He gave me an autographed picture, and two typical autographs (one for brother and me.), and during his entrance he came and raised my arm.

[Psy]

I used to wrestle at a local indie... but ya know, it was so poorly-run I don't know if it qualifies as an indie. You might have heard of ECW. If you have, well, that wasn't us. Sure, our name was ECW for a while (first Eastern Championship Wrestling, then Elizabeth City Wrestling, then when the booker finally heard about the 'real' ECW, he changed it to just 'EW'. We joked that it didn't stand for anything) but I seriously doubt anyone would remember us since we were less than a footnote.

Anyway, I was a spot monkey at the best of times. I don't deny it - I sucked. But I could do flippy shit and people liked that. So when our champion, who was supposed to be defending his belt against one of my friends that night, broke his leg in a revolving door incident (I shit you not, he broke his leg in a f***ing revolving door) about an hour before go-time they scrambled for a replacement so that there would be a vignette/beatdown to close off the show. Everyone else had programs going already and rather than break up a shitty program for a shitty program... meh.

There was literally nobody that wanted to do it though since they weren't getting paid any more for it so, with Demmy (short for 'Dementia', his character) in the ring starting a promo, the booker ran to me and said, "Get out there and cut a promo!" Now, usually all our promos were pre-written. They'd worked for a while on Demmy's when it became obvious that we were floundering and looking for anything to salvage the situation. It was generic "nobody wants to face me, the champ is scared, blah blah blah". So they threw me to the wolves, sorta.

I step out from the curtains and almost trip on a basketball. This was in a school's gym, so I just pick it up and start dribbling it as I'm going to the ring. As I roll into the ring, Demmy is finishing his shitty promo and starting to insult me. He's 6'8" or so, 250 lbs of muscle, long silver hair (which was his natural hair color, oddly enough. Not gray, really, but silvery. Freakish.), and I'm maybe 150lbs soaking wet. I jam the basketball under my top as I finish rolling in and I he stutters for a second, not knowing what I'm doing. Hell, I had no clue what I was doing either.

He winds down the promo with, "So what do you have to say about that?"

What follows is the reason why I was never given the mic again without coaching beforehand.

"I love you and I'm carrying your baby," I say, while stroking the bulge of the basketball under my top. Keep in mind that this is the south and the crowd is mostly gay-hatin' rednecks. You could hear a pin drop. Not that the crowd was large, but still.

So it was really no surprise when you could hear the booker screaming backstage, "That f***ing bastard! I'm going to f***ing kill him for that [bundle of sticks] bullshit!"

Which just made me laugh and grab Demmy's hand to try to put it on the bulge of the basketball. His face was getting red and rather than bust out laughing in the ring he ran to the back before busting out in laughter that everybody in the gym could hear clearly.

[Bishblast]

All I have to say is... Fat Juggallo wrestling a ladder match. Holy s***... it was at an indie show I saw back in 2005, and I was first of all surprised that people were still using that damn ICP gimmick, and there was a tiny demographic of the audience that lapped it right up like poisoned Faygo. It was a three way dance, I believe, with one dude who was a good worker and I believe has been included in the PWI 500 once or twice (Josh Magnum), and someone else who was just a complete geek. Botched spots, ahoy, due to the big ol' Jiggallo, who was visibly blown up in 5 minutes, called an audible to the other guys and just laid outside the ring for the rest of the match. It was pathetic, I'd consider it the worst match I've ever seen live, and one of the worst I've seen period.

[YAKMAN is ICHIBAN]

I was at an indy show featuring ICP and Sabu vs The Lynch Mob (plus one other guy if the 3rd guy wasn't a regular member of it). My friend got hit in the head by a chair Sabu threw.

At another more family friendly indy show, two drunk guys threw a vibrator in the ring. They were promptly ejected.

My all time favorite bad indy moment though was someone getting superplexed through the drop ceiling in a really crappy hall next to a strip club.

[thegigolo]

Mar 16, 2011 14:26:42 GMT -5 YAKMAN is ICHIBAN said:

I was at an indy show featuring ICP and Sabu vs The Lynch Mob (plus one other guy if the 3rd guy wasn't a regular member of it). My friend got hit in the head by a chair Sabu threw.

At another more family friendly indy show, two drunk guys threw a vibrator in the ring. They were promptly ejected.

My all time favorite bad indy moment though was someone getting superplexed through the drop ceiling in a really crappy hall next to a strip club.

The vibrator thing made me laugh, It'd have been a lot funnier if it were a strap on dildo or something.

[dabossftw]

Like the O.P. & "Playboy" Douglas, my story also involves an indy in Tennessee. Boy, do we have some stinkers.

The first thing that comes to mind is a show where "Mini Cena" was supposed to wrestle "Mini Muta" in Petros, TN. A town only famous for housing prisoners in the former Brushy Mountain Penitentiary. Anyhow, I guess Mini Muta sprayed himself with the green mist or something, because he wasn't there.

Mini Cena was though, and did he ever deliver. The worst promo I've ever heard in my life, in the thickest Southern accent, all the while proclaiming he's the REAL John Cena's cousin. After the show, he tried to shill me a t-shirt (John Cena Wal-Mart/K-Mart shirt) and an autographed picture. I almost bit on the autographed picture, just because the guy provided me with such laughter.

This same promotion, however, featured a Bobby Eaton vs. Ricky Morton match that was AWESOME. Interesting note- Bobby Eaton is great with remembering names and faces. I met him at this show in Petros, TN, got an autograph, and shot the breeze with him for about 30 minutes. About 2 months later at a "Legends" show in Knoxville at Chilhowee Park, I ran into him after the matches in the parking lot, and I'll be damned if he didn't remember me by name. Really cool to see someone who cares enough about fans to remember the small details.

[Shy Guy]

i was supposed to go to this one show, and on my way there with a friend, one of the wrestlers he was friends with sent him a text and told us the ring was stolen.

[keezy]

Went to a Scottish indie show not long ago, went in and they were selling WWE T-shirts from 2006 by the looks of it, a bunch of fake bandanas with WWE wrestlers names on it, and what looked like a fake Hardy Boyz dvd for sale.

It started off okay, they had a decent women's match and a good home town babyface vs a not so blatant Road Warriors inspired wrestler who actually had a good match too, all seemed good until they blatantly announced Rey Mysterio and played 'Booyaka Booyaka 619', out comes some generic cruiserweight who looks more like a failed CAW of Rey Mysterio with innaccurate tattoos, the wrestler was actually pretty good and hit a decent 619 and Swanton bomb, so why is he playing a knockoff wrestler? The kids were marking out like it was the real Rey too, did they actually think it was him or were they just cheering cause it was the next best thing? I don't know but it didn't help that the ring announcer was starting '619' and 'Scotland, Scotland' cheers, imagine Justin Roberts doing that on RAW or Howard Finkle back in the day.

Final match is Rey Mysterio and 'The Undertaker' vs Sting and Road Warrior in a tag match, The Undertaker is barely 6 ft tall and resembles his early 90s attire, only he looked more like Slash with the giant wig covering all of his face, Team Smackdown win with a chokeslam by UnderFaker and the kids seemed to enjoy it.

I would have enjoyed if it wasn't so tacky and blatant in it's knockoffs, they didn't even creatively pay tribute, it was simply just 'Rey, Sting and Taker whether you like it or not', kind of like when you got a knockoff version of a popular toy as a kid.

[Lance Uppercut]

Mar 16, 2011 14:36:15 GMT -5 dabossftw said:

The first thing that comes to mind is a show where "Mini Cena" was supposed to wrestle "Mini Muta" in Petros, TN. A town only famous for housing prisoners in the former Brushy Mountain Penitentiary. Anyhow, I guess Mini Muta sprayed himself with the green mist or something, because he wasn't there.

Mini Cena was though, and did he ever deliver. The worst promo I've ever heard in my life, in the thickest Southern accent, all the while proclaiming he's the REAL John Cena's cousin. After the show, he tried to shill me a t-shirt (John Cena Wal-Mart/K-Mart shirt) and an autographed picture. I almost bit on the autographed picture, just because the guy provided me with such laughter.

Oh my god. I've met him too. And he did the same exact thing to me. It was unsufferable. A friend of mine worked a show with him, so I went and when I told Mini Cena I had managed in the past, he kept coming over and talking to me. And I'm pretty Mini Muta is about 12.

[mrjl]

Mar 16, 2011 14:36:15 GMT -5 dabossftw said:

This same promotion, however, featured a Bobby Eaton vs. Ricky Morton match that was AWESOME. Interesting note- Bobby Eaton is great with remembering names and faces. I met him at this show in Petros, TN, got an autograph, and shot the breeze with him for about 30 minutes. About 2 months later at a "Legends" show in Knoxville at Chilhowee Park, I ran into him after the matches in the parking lot, and I'll be damned if he didn't remember me by name. Really cool to see someone who cares enough about fans to remember the small details.

according to Mick FOley, Eaton is about the nicest guy in wrestling.

[El Hijo De Slapnuts]

My best friend went to a few shows for this NC based promotion called Ring Wars Carolina,I've never been but their top draws are Momma's Boy and Popo the Clown

["Gentleman" AJ Powell]

The only one I can think of ATM is a few years back, it was Drew Galloway A.K.A McIntyre Vs James Mason (the guy who beat MVP via roll up whilst they were in England & looked like Kurt Angle.), and it was a good match & the finish was Galloway got clotheslined & booted Mason in the crotch on the way down. However, the Ref was too busy talking to someone ringside & missed the finish, & the two lay their whilst he looked confused & Galloway managed to get his attention & they had to re-do the finish. Galloway then announces he wants a rematch, this time for the title & he wants it.....Later tonight, at a show somewhere else! Never did find out if he won....

The same show had Gangrel Vs Joe E Legend & a few other good matches of young dudes.

[Alex Shelley]

Nothing too bad, the indy I go to is pretty decent, nothing skeezy. We had a show a couple months ago where it felt like everything went wrong, starting with the ref's pants ripping at the start of the match, and getting progressively worse throughout. I felt SO bad for the performers - two good wrestlers who hadn't wrestled in this promotion in several months. Nobody could pay any attention to the match, especially where I was sitting front row where the ref's boxer-clad ass was pointing directly at us for 50% of the time. I remember nothing about the match except the ref's boxers. After that match, he ran backstage. When he came back out wearing jeans for the next match, he got an ovation

There were two main event matches later in the show. The first one was cut short because a wrestler's foot got got in the ropes and he landed flat on his face outside the ring, splitting his face open. It was pretty bad and they ended the match as soon as the guy was able to get in the ring and they pulled together a quick finish. About a minute after he goes backstage, somebody whispers to the ring announcer, who gets on the mic and asks any doctors or nurses to go backstage.

The next match, a fan spit on the main heel and the entire crowd was distracted as the fan and security got into a huge fight.

Yeah. Nothing horrible or skeezy or carnyish, just a show that seemed to have shit luck.

[Deleted]

Some bad videos would be nice!

Here's what came up when I searched Midget John Cena. ;D