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Post by General Adam on Mar 10, 2012 22:16:02 GMT -5
*The General is sitting in a local bar. Drinking and smoking a cigar.*
Hey that rhymed.
*Be quiet*
Sorry.
*Anyway. A man approaches the General. He is clearly drunk.*
Drunk man: Well well well. If it isn't Mr. General of the Monkey Army.
That's right. The greatest hardcore champion of all time.
*The General takes another drink and another drag from his cigar.*
Drunk man: Yeah right.
*The General sharply looks at the drunk man. He smiles and takes another drink.*
Ah that's good.
*The General then takes the glass he was drinking from and smashes it against the drunk man's face.*
Yeah....I am.
*The General takes out some money and puts it on the bar.*
Have a good night Jim.
*The General then walks out of the bar.*
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Post by "Handsome" Whitey Fats on Mar 10, 2012 23:44:47 GMT -5
Oh, we both know it's true, You hit women, constantly, and you have yet to ever attack me like me a man.
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Post by Mr. Socko's Brother on Mar 11, 2012 0:33:18 GMT -5
*Frank Castle is standing in a forest. 50 feet away, a target is pinned to a large oak tree. Castle has two automatic handguns in front of him: A Beretta 92R and a Colt .45.* Blood, I've been doing some thinking. You're so, so obsessed with destroying me. I can't understand why, I've done nothing to you. I didn't hurt you, I didn't destroy your ideal, I didn't take away what defined you - yet just because you won a tournament, you want to make this personal. I know all about making things like this personal, but I do it for a reason, I do it to teach people that the good guy doesn't always win. Thing is, you haven't realised what will happen if you beat me, and that by winning, you also lose.*Castle picks up the Beretta and fires three rounds at the target, hitting one in the head and two in the chest.* Beretta 92R. Standard issue for the US Marine Corps. Sixteen rounds in the magazine, accurate up to 40 feet. Fires 9mm ammunition. Put a hole through inch thick steel. All in all, a brilliant, modern handgun. Kinda like you Ryan. Modern, flash, top of the range, sure of its own abilities, unlikely to let you down. It's a precision tool.*Castle puts it down, and picks up the Colt. He fires three more shots, gouging deep holes in the head and chest areas of the target.* Colt .45. The gun Colt got right. Issued to GI's in World War II. 8 rounds in the mag, one in the chamber. Old. Jams a lot, needs regular maintenance, but if you look after it, it'll never go wrong. The big difference between this and the Beretta? The ammo. 9mm cuts a nice clean hole through it's target. One in the heart and it punches a hole in it, and you stop dead. Clinical. The Colt fires big old .45 rounds. They don't leave nice clean holes. They rip big, ugly tears into people. It maims, it mutiliates. It will turn your head into tomato soup. It's big, ugly, and gets the job done.You're the Beretta Blood. You're trying to be this brutal killing machine, efficient, effective and utterly unstoppable, and while you get the job done, nothing you do lingers. Nothing you do means anything. One little hole, and it's all over.I'm a Colt. Sure I'm old, sure I'm not as quick as you, or as technical, or as slick, or even as reliable, but I will make you suffer, I will not stop until I've maimed every inch of your being. I'll carve holes in you so big they'll have to call your dentist to find out who you were.The point I'm making, is that to beat me, you have to become me. You want to take my title? You want to become what I am? Fine, if you're better than me on the night, I won't be able to stop you, but deep down you should know this, that while you're top of the line now, if you do to me what needs to be done to beat me, you'll become the Colt. You'll be brutal, you'll be remorseless, and you'll be the champion, but the point is, then another Beretta will come looking for you, and you'll be the old man.Only then will you know what it's like to be me.
You want to become what I am? Go on, I dare you to take that step, because there's no going back. You know the stupid thing about that analogy, Frank?
It's that the selling point of your Colt is how it's less reliable but a more painful gun to get shot with. (And by the way, unless you plan on drawing a gun to win this match, all of your firearm knowledge isn't gonna amount to a hill of fly crap.)
If you think that gives you an edge, then go right ahead and do your worst. Because let me tell ya something: I can take your worst and come back from it. And when I do, then you're gonna be wishing that you'd finished me off when you had the chance...
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smokinvokoun
Dennis Stamp
Daffy's Gonna Kill You
Posts: 4,770
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Post by smokinvokoun on Mar 13, 2012 1:07:31 GMT -5
Soon....it will be over. All the talk will be over. All the whining will be over...ALL THE PHONIENESS THAT IS INVOLVED WITH THIS MATCHUP.....will soon be over. And yes, when I talk about people being frauds, I'm talking about Evil M and Aaron Enigma. Two men, who claim to be legends in their own time. Two men..WHO HAS DONE IT ALL IN THIS SPORT OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING!!!! Two men, whose egos stretch ten miles long. That's right, their egos. See, they know that their time in the sun is about to come to an end. They know that Smokin Vokoun is the star of today. They know that ViVA Inc is dominating like no other faction has ever done. They don't like seeing new blood, rise up, at their own expense.
That's why either of you have ever answered me directly. Aaron...instead of doing your job and defending your title.....against the one man whose got your number, you decide to FAKE YOUR OWN DEATH....just so you could have the glory of finding out who the Majority Shareholder is. You didn't want to face me in the ring. You knew in the bottom of your heart...that you couldn't beat me in a fair fight. YOU SACRIFICE YOUR CHAMPIONSHIP BECAUSE YOU WHERE TREMBLING IN FEAR THAT YOU WOULD HAVE TO GET INTO THE RING WITH SMOKIN VOKOUN!!!!!! And don't lie about it Aaron, you know that it's true. You're afraid of me. You're just a coward. A piece of s*** coward.
And you Evil M. A man that is also just as pathetic. I know you're the Godfather of the WWCF. I know you've built this company with you're own blood sweat and tears. I've been hearing the term "Last of a dying breed" thrown around a lot. But for you, that's actually true. You're the last original left. And what do you have to show for it? F***ING NOTHING!!!!!! I don't care about your legacy M. I don't. All you are is a glass ceiling. That's all you are. You were the one among many who tried to hold me down. While you failed at title shot after title shot. Title shots...THAT COULD HAVE GONE TO SOMEONE LIKE ME....someone who deserved one.
Well, on March 18th, I got my shot. I've been screwed over time and time again, but now I have my shot. Interforum Championship. Three way Dance...AARON ENIGMA VS EVIL M VS SMOKIN VOKOUN!!!!!! My time is now old timers. It's mine.....[/color]
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Gus Richlen Was Wrong
Patti Mayonnaise
Metal Maestro: Co-winner of the FAN Idol Throwdown!
Fun while it lasted
Posts: 38,519
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Post by Gus Richlen Was Wrong on Mar 13, 2012 14:40:04 GMT -5
*Marshall Wesley Coventry is standing on the roof of the Northwoods State Mental Hospital, still wearing his straitjacket intact. Nurse Mary Harper stands some distance away.*
Do I have to do everything myself?!
There's some masked freak running around unchecked and nobody is seriously doing anything about it. Nobody is doing anything in spite of the fact that he's attacked half the people on the roster.
And Aaron Enigma is actually crazy enough to think that Frank Castle, who is one of Vanessa McVenisonjerky's lackeys and thus is against Equalizers like Enigma, is actually going to help him do something about it.
That freak has taken out eight already. We've seen the damn videos.
Well, it seems that I'm going to have to be the one who makes sure it ends there.
Next week. Animated PPV. I'm going to walk down to that ring, and I expect you to show up. No attacking me from behind, no underhanded shit. You will walk down that ramp and FACE ME LIKE A MAN.
And after I'm through beating you into a million pieces, I'm ripping that mask off and showing everyone what coward they have been worried about for the past couple of months.
Try to pull any of that shit on me like you have with anyone else...
*Coventry twitches slightly, causing the jacket to EXPLODE. Shreds of fabric rain down to the ground below.*
You're going to wish I WAS anyone else.
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The Punisher
Unicron
"They don't fear the law. They fear me..."
Posts: 3,082
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Post by The Punisher on Mar 13, 2012 17:21:39 GMT -5
*A man sits alone in front of a laptop. A huge amount of text is on the screen. In front of him is a small nameplate that says "Jack Samson, Private Investigator." He nervously picks up a cell phone and dials a number. A message plays back to him.*
"This is Ryan Blood. Leave a message."
"Mr. Blood, this is Jack Samson. I did some digging around like you asked on this Frank Castle guy. I wanted to tell you what I've found out before your match, before anything happens."
*Samson looks nervously around his office before continuing with the call.*
"I followed him like you asked - Jeez, the guy is like a machine. He only sleeps around 4 hours a day, and doesn't look tired at all, and he stays out all night. Not partying or boozing. He finds things that are going on, like robberies, rapes, muggings, and he takes these guys on. Some of them I never saw again - I couldn't get to close to what he was doing otherwise he would have seen me, but at least a couple of the guys I'm sure he attacked ended up on the news as being missing. I dread to think what he did to them.
"I saw him take on these six kids - they were all muscled up jocks, pushing this girl around after a student night out. One tried to force her into an alleyway. Castle just happened to be passing, he pulled over, punched one kid unconcious, then beat the rest up so bad there was blood washing down the sidewalk. It was graphic, just unspeakable.
"I checked his habits. He doesn't drink, doesn't take any kind of medication that I can tell, bags and burns all his trash, must own at least three or four different places across the city - never goes back to the same places in the same order. I managed to break into one of these places when he wasn't there. The place was like a military base, guns, grenades, rocket launchers, knives, stun guns - I gotta tell you it freaked me out.
"I looked into his past as well, like you asked. Ten years in the United States Marine Corps. He was Marine Recon - special forces, they guy killed over 2000 Iraqi troops during the first Gulf War, singlehandedly took on a battalion of the Iraqi Elite Guard when defending his unit during evac. He killed forty guys with one machine gun and a knife.
"That's not all, when the UN got deployed to Bosnia, they kept getting reports of some vigilante taking out warlords, people traffickers and slave traders. No one ever confirmed if, but the US troops attached to the task force that knew of Castle's methods said it had to be him.
"His life after he left the Marine Corps is patchy - you know about what happened with his wife, right? Thing is there was another woman after that who left him, the guy she left him for they found cut up into little pieces a few days later. There wasn't enough to ID him, apart from the fact his driving license was left in the middle of his remains - like whoever did it wanted people to know who it was.
"I tried to pull his medical and psyche records from the Marines - no matter who I paid, no one would give me any info on him. They said they didn't want to be the ones to give out information on Castle. One even told me that I should stop because he might come after me.
"Mr Blood, this guy is dangerous - I feel it's my professional responsibility to tell you that I think even talking to this guy might provoke him into violence. You know most people have a switch in their head that tells them they're going too far? I don't think this guy has it - in fact, I think he's probably one of the most dangerous men ever to have walked the earth.
"For God's sake, if you're going to do this, be careful, because he isn't messing around. Thanks for the fee up front - I'm going to be leaving town for a while until this thing blows over. If you need me you can leave a message with my office. Bye."
*Samson hangs up the phone, and slumps back in his chair. He looks up at the figure standing in the shadows.*
"I've done what you wanted - I've scared him, or tried, will you let me go now?"
*Frank Castle steps out of the shadows, looming over Samson*
"You know something? Your a crap tail. You followed me because I wanted you - and Blood - to know exactly what I can do. He's just going to listen to your message and think he can still beat me - and that's what I want him to think."
"That's it then, I've done what you asked."
"I was going to let you go Jack. Then I had a look at your case files. You do some pretty sneaky stuff. You break up marriages, help out with insurance fraud. You pay dealers for info. You're worse than some of the sum on the streets."
"Come on man - I'm an ex-cop! I served! we're the same!"
"No, Jack. You're nothing like me at all."
*The camera switches to outside Samson's office as screams echo from inside, then the screen goes black.*
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Post by Head Detective Aaron Enigma on Mar 13, 2012 19:01:00 GMT -5
Soon....it will be over. All the talk will be over. All the whining will be over...ALL THE PHONIENESS THAT IS INVOLVED WITH THIS MATCHUP.....will soon be over. And yes, when I talk about people being frauds, I'm talking about Evil M and Aaron Enigma. Two men, who claim to be legends in their own time. Two men..WHO HAS DONE IT ALL IN THIS SPORT OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING!!!! Two men, whose egos stretch ten miles long. That's right, their egos. See, they know that their time in the sun is about to come to an end. They know that Smokin Vokoun is the star of today. They know that ViVA Inc is dominating like no other faction has ever done. They don't like seeing new blood, rise up, at their own expense.
That's why either of you have ever answered me directly. Aaron...instead of doing your job and defending your title.....against the one man whose got your number, you decide to FAKE YOUR OWN DEATH....just so you could have the glory of finding out who the Majority Shareholder is. You didn't want to face me in the ring. You knew in the bottom of your heart...that you couldn't beat me in a fair fight. YOU SACRIFICE YOUR CHAMPIONSHIP BECAUSE YOU WHERE TREMBLING IN FEAR THAT YOU WOULD HAVE TO GET INTO THE RING WITH SMOKIN VOKOUN!!!!!! And don't lie about it Aaron, you know that it's true. You're afraid of me. You're just a coward. A piece of s*** coward.
And you Evil M. A man that is also just as pathetic. I know you're the Godfather of the WWCF. I know you've built this company with you're own blood sweat and tears. I've been hearing the term "Last of a dying breed" thrown around a lot. But for you, that's actually true. You're the last original left. And what do you have to show for it? F***ING NOTHING!!!!!! I don't care about your legacy M. I don't. All you are is a glass ceiling. That's all you are. You were the one among many who tried to hold me down. While you failed at title shot after title shot. Title shots...THAT COULD HAVE GONE TO SOMEONE LIKE ME....someone who deserved one.
Well, on March 18th, I got my shot. I've been screwed over time and time again, but now I have my shot. Interforum Championship. Three way Dance...AARON ENIGMA VS EVIL M VS SMOKIN VOKOUN!!!!!! My time is now old timers. It's mine..... [/color][/quote] Now wait just a minute. Old timers? Last time I checked I was 25. That's hardly old when you consider some of the people in this business. As for me faking my own death to somehow "avoid" you? That's completely idiotic. For you to even insinuate I am afraid of you is an insult on my character.
I'm going to rewind time back to our match, Smokey. We both had one pinfall on each other and going for our second one to win. YOU reverted to your old ways, like I told EVERYONE you would, and you brought a foreign object into the equation. The way I see it, that fight should not have ended in a double disqualification. That fight should've ended in a victory for myself. However, you started this fight, and I'm going to end it on March 18th.
You can go on and on about how I'm washed up, how I'm yesterday's news. The problem is you have no respect for myself or this company. You just want all the fame and fortune for yourself. You try to play yourself off as the victim. Boohoo you had a hard life in Chicago growing up. Well it's time for you to man the hell up and grow up for once in your life. When you win you proclaim yourself the greatest and when you lose it's more trash talking and excuses. I'm plain sick of it, and I'm sure Evil M is as well. We're both going to take pleasure silencing you next week, Vokoun.
Now Evil M and I have had our differences, and he did try to pin my "corpse" and take MY Inter-Forum title, however that's not a big deal. This fight next week between the three of us will be something special, and do you know why gentlemen? This will be my first triple-threat title win in my career! Next week truly starts the Era of the Enigma, as I rise up to glory and leave you two down on the mat unconscious.
That isn't rocket science, hell it isn't even elementary. You know what it is? It's a damn fact boys. See you next week.
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Post by General Adam on Mar 13, 2012 20:23:43 GMT -5
*The General is at a local supermarket doing his weekly grocery shopping. The wind up monkey is also with him riding in the kiddie seat.*
Wind up monkey: This feels oddly familiar.
Yeah it does doesn't it.
*They continue shopping. They come across a large display of WWCF Superstar Toothpaste.*
They still sell this? What about all the warnings and all that?
*A clerk approaches the General.*
Clerk: We don't sell it as toothpaste.
Well what do you sell it as?
Clerk: It makes really good grout.
Really?
*The General takes a couple of boxes and puts them in his cart. As he continues shopping he notices the drunk man from the bar last night.*
YOU!
Man from bar: Oh shit!
*He starts to run, but the General runs him over with his cart. He then repeatedly stomps on him.*
Who is the greatest hardcore champ of all time?
*The man doesn't respond.*
I am
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Jeremy Dupoe
Don Corleone
Your lack of intelligence disgusts me
Posts: 1,414
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Post by Jeremy Dupoe on Mar 13, 2012 20:54:46 GMT -5
*There's a loud commotion as the camera is rushing down to the locker room, when he gets to the door a security guard is thrown through said door the camera enters what looks like a locker room turned warzone Mario Nett is fighting off security,jobbers, EMT's, and other assorted staff*
Nett:WHAT THE F*** WAS THAT s***!!!!! WHOS THE SONNOVABITCH? WHO ATTACKED ME?!?
*Dupoe comes in muttering something, Nett calms down almost instantly*
Dupoe:ENOUGH I understand that your pissed but destruction, though satisfying, wont accomplish a thing, allow me to translate violence into words, this goes out to the masked man, You haven't exactly aimed to make friends have you, lets go down the list of people after your ass, Enigma, Punisher, Covently, and now Mario, Ophelia, and myself. I almost pity you, for you see if any of us find you we will tear you asunder, almost being the optimal term, the only difference is if we find you we would sacrifice you to Almighty Dagon, after Nett beats you within an inch of your pathetic life. Hell have no fury like a pissed off cultist
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Post by Mr. Socko's Brother on Mar 13, 2012 21:12:58 GMT -5
OOC: Punisher, you're taking liberties with my character by having him hire a private investigator, and I'm kind of annoyed by that. We all have exclusive control of our characters, apart from when we agree to have somebody else write them in matches. This isn't the first time, either; you've written about what Whitey Fats has done without consulting him, about what the Majority Shareholder has been doing without consulting BRB as far as I know, and while maybe neither of them cared, I do. So please stop doing this kind of stuff.
IC:
Hmm, I see I have a message. From some guy I don't know. Just for shits and giggles, I'll put it on speaker so we can all have a listen...
""Mr. Blood, this is Jack Samson. I did some digging around like you asked on this Frank Castle guy. I wanted to--"
*"Beep!"*
Deleted. I don't know any "Jack Samson", and I never hired him to investigate Frank, because I know all I want to about Frank.
Which is why I'm so looking forward to beating him within an inch of death at the Animated PPV!
I don't know what the hell this is, maybe Frank got tired of talking about himself and he hired somebody else to do it. Maybe he wants to scare me.
You seriously think I'm gonna scare at this point, you stupid F***?! You think I'm gonna back out or get butterflies in my stomach or something?!
You're dumber than you look, and you're a f***ing disgrace to that world title!
You know, I caught Ring Of Honor's latest pay-per-view recently, and I just want to lampshade something here, which is that there are some similarities between me and Jimmy Jacobs...but also some differences.
The similarities? Both me and Jimmy Jacobs were evil f***s, and then we reformed. Jimmy Jacobs re-embraced his evil side heading into his match with Kevin Steen, just like I am heading into my match with you.
And here we come to the big difference, Frank, because Jimmy Jacobs used to stab people with a big, sharp, railroad spike, and he brought that spike back out and he stabbed Kevin Steen with it!!!
But then what did Jimmy do? He got this look on his face like he was horrified by the blood, horrified by what he had done, horrified by what he'd become.
He was in a daze, and while he was standing there being all angsty Steen got back up, got the drop on him, and beat him.
I'm not like Jimmy Jacobs, because I have daydreams that make me shiver in delight of taking a railroad spike just like that and driving that motherf***ing thing straight into your eye, through your brain, and out the back of your head! Oh, it gives me f***ing goosebumps, Frank.
The Ryan Blood that you've brought back to life, he loves seeing people like you bleed, and suffer, and burn, and be broken into pieces! And yes Frank, I said burn, because the "good" Ryan Blood had zero problem with throwing the man who is apparently still your BFF, Smokin' Vokoun, into a fire!
I can still smell his charred body...it's such a sweet smell...Smokey was a guy who I kind of respected, but it was still so goddamn sweet to beat him like that, to cause him that kind of pain...
So imagine, for five or six more days, what I will do to somebody I don't respect...what I will do to you.
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Post by "Handsome" Whitey Fats on Mar 13, 2012 21:17:55 GMT -5
The fact I don't even care I just lost the TV title should say a lot about my state of mind right now.
Almost time, Square.
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Post by hossfan on Mar 13, 2012 21:49:07 GMT -5
A WWCF.com exclusive
*Backstage after the end of Monday Nite Raw*
This is Jerry Fish with WWCF.com, and I'm here with Caleb Fourchon, who earlier tonight lost a six man tag match to determine who the next contender for the Television Title would be.
Nobuddy care about dat, Fish. Sure Ah lose a battle, but Ah still winnin de war. De war on drugs.
Yes, I wanted to speak with you about that. Before the match you issued what you called the "2012 Caleb Fourchon Open Piss Test Challenge" .
*Nodding* Yup, and you see how not one lyin, cheatin, dopin wrassler in dat locker room accepted? Dat proves mah point.
Well, Caleb, Jeremy Dupoe did come out to note how ridiculous, er, he thought you were being.
Pfft. Jeremy Du-Poulet is fulla balloon juice. And udder stuff too, no doubt. Probably scarfin down magic mushrooms right now. And de way his puppet buddy Mario Nett act, it obvious he on sumpthin too. After de fit he pitched mah guess is PCP.
Caleb, Mario Nett went berserk because the masked man who has been assaulting WWCF superstars through a cup of hot coffee during his face during the match! Plus Dupoe wasn't around to control the evil spirit that resides in his body.
*Fourchon stares at Fish a long time* You heard a Occam's Razor, Fish? De simplest answer to any mysterious phenomenenon is always de right one. Now, you kin believe dat Mario Nett went nuts because he possessed by ghost, or you kin tink he jest a crazy junkie on de Angel Dust. Ah know whut Ah believe.
Moving on, next week you have a match against Nett's master Jeremy Dupoe at The Animated Pay Per View.
It not Dupoe, it Du-Poulet! Git it, Fish?! His name is Du-Poulet now, cuz he coward! Don't fergit it. In fact..... Ah jest came up wit way to make sure of dat.
How?
Ah gonna stitch a chicken suit on him.
*Caleb smirks at the camera and stalks off.*
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Post by Connor Mackenzie on Mar 13, 2012 21:54:40 GMT -5
Connor looks worn from his match but enters a locker room, the television title over his shoulder as he moves to sit down, holding the belt in his hands. He looks at it, nodding approvingly before moving to place it back on his shoulder once again.
CM: Whitey...I told you it would be a match to remember...thank you. I know you have a lot going through your mind and I know that maybe the tv title isn't one of them, but you defended it like a champion, with honor and that means the world to me. It was a hard fought, clean match that neither of us can regret.
Moving to take a water bottle near his seat, he unscrews the cap and takes a big drink of it before placing the cap back on and takes another moment to gather his breath.
CM: Sure enough BRB. You've lived up to your word. I won this belt...and now I have your attention. What you're doing now, sending your newest acquisition at Jason and I, just goes to show just how much you are willing to pay to maintain your stranglehold on this company. How much did it cost to get him here, BRB? How much of the WWCF's funds did you have to procure in order to buy yourself a false sense of security? Because that is exactly what you are feeling right now.
Connor takes another sip of the water then pours some over his head while he shakes it, smiling brightly.
CM: It feels nice...this belt. Knowing what it can lead to, knowing what it can mean. I fully intend to show everyone in the WWCF Galaxy it's meaning. To show that to earn the right to call yourself the best you have to beat the best in the name of being the TV Champion. To take on all comers and once you've climbed that mountain, done the impossible, then you can challenge yourself against the one who claims to be the Heavyweight Champion. A chapter ends, but a new one begins BRB.
WWCF Galaxy warm up kindles, turn on your ipods, the digital story has 10 new chapters about to be written.
Connor pats the tv title as it rests on his shoulder before the picture fades.
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Jeremy Dupoe
Don Corleone
Your lack of intelligence disgusts me
Posts: 1,414
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Post by Jeremy Dupoe on Mar 13, 2012 23:56:17 GMT -5
A WWCF.com exclusive*Backstage after the end of Monday Nite Raw* This is Jerry Fish with WWCF.com, and I'm here with Caleb Fourchon, who earlier tonight lost a six man tag match to determine who the next contender for the Television Title would be.Nobuddy care about dat, Fish. Sure Ah lose a battle, but Ah still winnin de war. De war on drugs.Yes, I wanted to speak with you about that. Before the match you issued what you called the "2012 Caleb Fourchon Open Piss Test Challenge" .*Nodding* Yup, and you see how not one lyin, cheatin, dopin wrassler in dat locker room accepted? Dat proves mah point.Well, Caleb, Jeremy Dupoe did come out to note how ridiculous, er, he thought you were being.Pfft. Jeremy Du-Poulet is fulla balloon juice. And udder stuff too, no doubt. Probably scarfin down magic mushrooms right now. And de way his puppet buddy Mario Nett act, it obvious he on sumpthin too. After de fit he pitched mah guess is PCP.Caleb, Mario Nett went berserk because the masked man who has been assaulting WWCF superstars through a cup of hot coffee during his face during the match! Plus Dupoe wasn't around to control the evil spirit that resides in his body.*Fourchon stares at Fish a long time* You heard a Occam's Razor, Fish? De simplest answer to any mysterious phenomenenon is always de right one. Now, you kin believe dat Mario Nett went nuts because he possessed by ghost, or you kin tink he jest a crazy junkie on de Angel Dust. Ah know whut Ah believe. Moving on, next week you have a match against Nett's master Jeremy Dupoe at The Animated Pay Per View.It not Dupoe, it Du-Poulet! Git it, Fish?! His name is Du-Poulet now, cuz he coward! Don't fergit it. In fact..... Ah jest came up wit way to make sure of dat.How?Ah gonna stitch a chicken suit on him.*Caleb smirks at the camera and stalks off.* How exactly am I cowardly, Fourchon? Is it because I wasn't at a match that had little to nothing to do with me, because I'm not willing to whip it out and take a urine test on live TV, something that...THAT IT!!! EURIKA!!! I JUST REALIZED WHY YOU ARE THE WAY YOU ARE, THE BROKEN ENGLISH, THE LACK OF RATIONAL THOUGHT, YOUR THE MISSING LINK, YOU ARE THE LINK BETWEEN MONKEYS AND HUMANS BECAUSE THAT IS LITERALLY THE ONLY WAY YOU COULD EXSIST BECAUSE NO HUMAN ON THIS PLANET IS SO UNREALISTICLY STUPID. Or perhaps it is YOU on the drugs after all these actions to try to get others to get tested, perhaps your trying to hide your own problems. Tell me, whats your drug of choice Grass, coke, pepsi, heroin, shrooms, PCP, or the Jeff Hardy special (all of the above). I've told you twice now my only vice is the occational glass of wine...unless blood suddenly counts as a drug in which I drink blood all the time. Keep your poultry suit, it probably wouldn't burn nicely in effegy
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smokinvokoun
Dennis Stamp
Daffy's Gonna Kill You
Posts: 4,770
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Post by smokinvokoun on Mar 14, 2012 0:12:45 GMT -5
Soon....it will be over. All the talk will be over. All the whining will be over...ALL THE PHONIENESS THAT IS INVOLVED WITH THIS MATCHUP.....will soon be over. And yes, when I talk about people being frauds, I'm talking about Evil M and Aaron Enigma. Two men, who claim to be legends in their own time. Two men..WHO HAS DONE IT ALL IN THIS SPORT OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING!!!! Two men, whose egos stretch ten miles long. That's right, their egos. See, they know that their time in the sun is about to come to an end. They know that Smokin Vokoun is the star of today. They know that ViVA Inc is dominating like no other faction has ever done. They don't like seeing new blood, rise up, at their own expense.
That's why either of you have ever answered me directly. Aaron...instead of doing your job and defending your title.....against the one man whose got your number, you decide to FAKE YOUR OWN DEATH....just so you could have the glory of finding out who the Majority Shareholder is. You didn't want to face me in the ring. You knew in the bottom of your heart...that you couldn't beat me in a fair fight. YOU SACRIFICE YOUR CHAMPIONSHIP BECAUSE YOU WHERE TREMBLING IN FEAR THAT YOU WOULD HAVE TO GET INTO THE RING WITH SMOKIN VOKOUN!!!!!! And don't lie about it Aaron, you know that it's true. You're afraid of me. You're just a coward. A piece of s*** coward.
And you Evil M. A man that is also just as pathetic. I know you're the Godfather of the WWCF. I know you've built this company with you're own blood sweat and tears. I've been hearing the term "Last of a dying breed" thrown around a lot. But for you, that's actually true. You're the last original left. And what do you have to show for it? F***ING NOTHING!!!!!! I don't care about your legacy M. I don't. All you are is a glass ceiling. That's all you are. You were the one among many who tried to hold me down. While you failed at title shot after title shot. Title shots...THAT COULD HAVE GONE TO SOMEONE LIKE ME....someone who deserved one.
Well, on March 18th, I got my shot. I've been screwed over time and time again, but now I have my shot. Interforum Championship. Three way Dance...AARON ENIGMA VS EVIL M VS SMOKIN VOKOUN!!!!!! My time is now old timers. It's mine..... [/color][/quote] Now wait just a minute. Old timers? Last time I checked I was 25. That's hardly old when you consider some of the people in this business. As for me faking my own death to somehow "avoid" you? That's completely idiotic. For you to even insinuate I am afraid of you is an insult on my character.
I'm going to rewind time back to our match, Smokey. We both had one pinfall on each other and going for our second one to win. YOU reverted to your old ways, like I told EVERYONE you would, and you brought a foreign object into the equation. The way I see it, that fight should not have ended in a double disqualification. That fight should've ended in a victory for myself. However, you started this fight, and I'm going to end it on March 18th.
You can go on and on about how I'm washed up, how I'm yesterday's news. The problem is you have no respect for myself or this company. You just want all the fame and fortune for yourself. You try to play yourself off as the victim. Boohoo you had a hard life in Chicago growing up. Well it's time for you to man the hell up and grow up for once in your life. When you win you proclaim yourself the greatest and when you lose it's more trash talking and excuses. I'm plain sick of it, and I'm sure Evil M is as well. We're both going to take pleasure silencing you next week, Vokoun.
Now Evil M and I have had our differences, and he did try to pin my "corpse" and take MY Inter-Forum title, however that's not a big deal. This fight next week between the three of us will be something special, and do you know why gentlemen? This will be my first triple-threat title win in my career! Next week truly starts the Era of the Enigma, as I rise up to glory and leave you two down on the mat unconscious.
That isn't rocket science, hell it isn't even elementary. You know what it is? It's a damn fact boys. See you next week. [/quote] I WASN'T THE ONE WHO USED THAT DAMN CHAIR TO SAVE A DAMN TITLE!!!!!!! You may have gotten to me that night. You made me lose my cool. Sure, I yelled at the ref...and yes I did bring that chair in the ring. But it was YOU who hit me with that chair I ONLY HIT YOU BACK WITH THAT CHAIR, OUT OF PURE SELF DEFENSE!!!!!
But none of that matters any more Enigma. None of it. We can talk and talk for days and it would mean nothing. Because on March 18th, I'm gonna get my just due. You call me a whiner. Well your right, BUT I'VE HAD EVERY RIGHT TO WHINE!!!!! Your a self righteous jackass. A PHONY jackass. You could call me every bad name in the book. You'd be telling the truth 95% of the time. You could say that I'm an asshole, a prick, a whiner, evil son a bitch, a liar, ruthless....YOU COULD CALL ME ALL OF THOSE THINGS AND MORE AND I'D AGREE THAT THEY WERE TRUE!!!! AND I'D BE DAMN PROUD OF IT!!!! At least I admit it Aaron. But you can't admit that you're just as low down and scummy as I am. You can't do it. Can you?
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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on Mar 14, 2012 1:25:14 GMT -5
You win something meaningful for once and you get big in your breeches, Connor. You think El Hijo de BRB is some false sense of security for me, BRB?
Furthermore, do I hear xenophobia behind your words? Do you find something wrong with me being an equal opportunity employer? Have a problem with me spending money on a sure breadwinner in El Hijo de Boiler Room Brawler? It can't possibly be an honest investment with you, can it? I obviously took money out of someone else's paycheck to make him a citizen.
At The Animated PPV, I'll be hanging back in the VIP lounge with some "animated associates." We're placing high stakes bets on the entire card, and only one of them is daring enough to bet on you and your partner. El Hijo de BRB will crush you two and make me more money. Then he will conquer the Interforums and Freakin' Awesome Titles and make me even more money. He will be a sound investment. He is the beginning of a franchise. And you and Jason Allen will be his first victims.
So when you call him a false sense of security, I hear sheer ignorance of the bigger picture. I come out on top, Connor. I come out on top and it sticks.
El Hijo de BRB is my first official representative in my company's squared circle. Yes, you heard that right: first. It will be a cold day in Hell before I step into the ring with the likes of my ungrateful, persecution complex, myopic, and ultimately weak employees.
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Post by Connor Mackenzie on Mar 14, 2012 7:34:57 GMT -5
You win something meaningful for once and you get big in your breeches, Connor. You think El Hijo de BRB is some false sense of security for me, BRB?
Furthermore, do I hear xenophobia behind your words? Do you find something wrong with me being an equal opportunity employer? Have a problem with me spending money on a sure breadwinner in El Hijo de Boiler Room Brawler? It can't possibly be an honest investment with you, can it? I obviously took money out of someone else's paycheck to make him a citizen.
At The Animated PPV, I'll be hanging back in the VIP lounge with some "animated associates." We're placing high stakes bets on the entire card, and only one of them is daring enough to bet on you and your partner. El Hijo de BRB will crush you two and make me more money. Then he will conquer the Interforums and Freakin' Awesome Titles and make me even more money. He will be a sound investment. He is the beginning of a franchise. And you and Jason Allen will be his first victims.
So when you call him a false sense of security, I hear sheer ignorance of the bigger picture. I come out on top, Connor. I come out on top and it sticks.
El Hijo de BRB is my first official representative in my company's squared circle. Yes, you heard that right: first. It will be a cold day in Hell before I step into the ring with the likes of my ungrateful, persecution complex, myopic, and ultimately weak employees.
*The camera pans along a street, stopping and turning abruptly to bring a hooded figure into the picture who is jogging briskly. Stopping to address the camera, Connor Mackenzie pulls back his hood.* CM: Wow BRB, seems I touched a nerve here. And using such big words too. And for any of those perhaps confused no...*Connor holds up a picture of Lucy Lawless in her Xena role* CM: I am not afraid of this woman. In fact, Lil' Dragon gets a might bit excited when I see her. But I digress, a joke if you would permit because the accusation of me being xenophobic is in fact laughable at best.*Connor tosses the picture he was holding off camera and starts walking, the camera following him* CM: You see, you have to realize a few things here BRB. One, you are accusing a person of being xenophobic who hails from a country with the highest percentage of immigrants in its population in the western hemisphere.*Connor pauses and grins* CM: How's that for some big words.*Connor begins walking again, the camera moving to catch up to him* CM: Two, I am an immigrant to this very country. Accussing me of being xenophobic is like, as a rather entertaining comedian once said, a leper giving a facial. It doesn't really work. No, the reason I bring up the entire subject of you spending the WWCF's money to procure this "talent" if I may use the word, is because for the salary you are paying him, the money to fast track his work permits, how many soundly qualified yet much less expensive international workers could you have hired for other jobs? How much arm twisting did it take to get the other board members to o.k. this little security investment BRB? Are you starting to see the point. Are you perhaps starting to get a small facet of understanding in where I am coming from? Or is your ego still so engorged that it is blocking anything I say from reaching your brain?*Connor turns a corner, pausing as he sees a group of men working on the renovations of a building, stopping a man Connor looks at him.* CM: Ahh, here. Sir, I have a question to ask...*The man turns, revealing himself to be a middle-aged man of what would appear to be spanish descent.* CM: I wanted to ask, before coming to this country were you qualified to do something else?Worker: Yes actually. I was a senior executive for a major television company. *Connor nods, actually a bit surprised.* CM: If you don't mind me asking then...why are you doing this?Worker: I helped bring TNA Wrestling to Spike TV. *Connor pauses, holding up his hands before visibly shuddering* CM: Thank you for your time sir.
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The Punisher
Unicron
"They don't fear the law. They fear me..."
Posts: 3,082
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Post by The Punisher on Mar 14, 2012 12:41:03 GMT -5
OOC: Punisher, you're taking liberties with my character by having him hire a private investigator, and I'm kind of annoyed by that. We all have exclusive control of our characters, apart from when we agree to have somebody else write them in matches. This isn't the first time, either; you've written about what Whitey Fats has done without consulting him, about what the Majority Shareholder has been doing without consulting BRB as far as I know, and while maybe neither of them cared, I do. So please stop doing this kind of stuff. IC: Hmm, I see I have a message. From some guy I don't know. Just for s***s and giggles, I'll put it on speaker so we can all have a listen..." "Mr. Blood, this is Jack Samson. I did some digging around like you asked on this Frank Castle guy. I wanted to--" *"Beep!"* Deleted. I don't know any "Jack Samson", and I never hired him to investigate Frank, because I know all I want to about Frank.
Which is why I'm so looking forward to beating him within an inch of death at the Animated PPV!
I don't know what the hell this is, maybe Frank got tired of talking about himself and he hired somebody else to do it. Maybe he wants to scare me.
You seriously think I'm gonna scare at this point, you stupid F***?! You think I'm gonna back out or get butterflies in my stomach or something?!
You're dumber than you look, and you're a f***ing disgrace to that world title!
You know, I caught Ring Of Honor's latest pay-per-view recently, and I just want to lampshade something here, which is that there are some similarities between me and Jimmy Jacobs...but also some differences.
The similarities? Both me and Jimmy Jacobs were evil f***s, and then we reformed. Jimmy Jacobs re-embraced his evil side heading into his match with Kevin Steen, just like I am heading into my match with you.
And here we come to the big difference, Frank, because Jimmy Jacobs used to stab people with a big, sharp, railroad spike, and he brought that spike back out and he stabbed Kevin Steen with it!!!
But then what did Jimmy do? He got this look on his face like he was horrified by the blood, horrified by what he had done, horrified by what he'd become.
He was in a daze, and while he was standing there being all angsty Steen got back up, got the drop on him, and beat him.
I'm not like Jimmy Jacobs, because I have daydreams that make me shiver in delight of taking a railroad spike just like that and driving that motherf***ing thing straight into your eye, through your brain, and out the back of your head! Oh, it gives me f***ing goosebumps, Frank.
The Ryan Blood that you've brought back to life, he loves seeing people like you bleed, and suffer, and burn, and be broken into pieces! And yes Frank, I said burn, because the "good" Ryan Blood had zero problem with throwing the man who is apparently still your BFF, Smokin' Vokoun, into a fire!
I can still smell his charred body...it's such a sweet smell...Smokey was a guy who I kind of respected, but it was still so goddamn sweet to beat him like that, to cause him that kind of pain...
So imagine, for five or six more days, what I will do to somebody I don't respect...what I will do to you.OOC: Really sorry - was just trying to do something different. I didn't mean to annoy you. I apologise and I honestly promise it won't happen again. Again, I am really sorry.
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Post by Mr. Socko's Brother on Mar 14, 2012 15:24:49 GMT -5
OOC: Punisher, you're taking liberties with my character by having him hire a private investigator, and I'm kind of annoyed by that. We all have exclusive control of our characters, apart from when we agree to have somebody else write them in matches. This isn't the first time, either; you've written about what Whitey Fats has done without consulting him, about what the Majority Shareholder has been doing without consulting BRB as far as I know, and while maybe neither of them cared, I do. So please stop doing this kind of stuff. IC: Hmm, I see I have a message. From some guy I don't know. Just for s***s and giggles, I'll put it on speaker so we can all have a listen..." "Mr. Blood, this is Jack Samson. I did some digging around like you asked on this Frank Castle guy. I wanted to--" *"Beep!"* Deleted. I don't know any "Jack Samson", and I never hired him to investigate Frank, because I know all I want to about Frank.
Which is why I'm so looking forward to beating him within an inch of death at the Animated PPV!
I don't know what the hell this is, maybe Frank got tired of talking about himself and he hired somebody else to do it. Maybe he wants to scare me.
You seriously think I'm gonna scare at this point, you stupid F***?! You think I'm gonna back out or get butterflies in my stomach or something?!
You're dumber than you look, and you're a f***ing disgrace to that world title!
You know, I caught Ring Of Honor's latest pay-per-view recently, and I just want to lampshade something here, which is that there are some similarities between me and Jimmy Jacobs...but also some differences.
The similarities? Both me and Jimmy Jacobs were evil f***s, and then we reformed. Jimmy Jacobs re-embraced his evil side heading into his match with Kevin Steen, just like I am heading into my match with you.
And here we come to the big difference, Frank, because Jimmy Jacobs used to stab people with a big, sharp, railroad spike, and he brought that spike back out and he stabbed Kevin Steen with it!!!
But then what did Jimmy do? He got this look on his face like he was horrified by the blood, horrified by what he had done, horrified by what he'd become.
He was in a daze, and while he was standing there being all angsty Steen got back up, got the drop on him, and beat him.
I'm not like Jimmy Jacobs, because I have daydreams that make me shiver in delight of taking a railroad spike just like that and driving that motherf***ing thing straight into your eye, through your brain, and out the back of your head! Oh, it gives me f***ing goosebumps, Frank.
The Ryan Blood that you've brought back to life, he loves seeing people like you bleed, and suffer, and burn, and be broken into pieces! And yes Frank, I said burn, because the "good" Ryan Blood had zero problem with throwing the man who is apparently still your BFF, Smokin' Vokoun, into a fire!
I can still smell his charred body...it's such a sweet smell...Smokey was a guy who I kind of respected, but it was still so goddamn sweet to beat him like that, to cause him that kind of pain...
So imagine, for five or six more days, what I will do to somebody I don't respect...what I will do to you.OOC: Really sorry - was just trying to do something different. I didn't mean to annoy you. I apologise and I honestly promise it won't happen again. Again, I am really sorry. OOC: Apology accepted, and thanks.
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Post by "Handsome" Whitey Fats on Mar 14, 2012 16:35:45 GMT -5
OOC: We cannot have too much TNA bashing. Dead serious
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