Post by angryfan on Mar 19, 2006 1:39:52 GMT -5
Time for another episode. Hope you guys like it.
(Scene opens with the gang in the living room. Trips is in his recliner, Flair on a futon, and Steph and Sledgie on the couch, when the phone rings. Trips answeres)
HHH: Hello, Game residence.
BG: What’s up man, it’s your old buddy the D-O-double-G, you feel like partying tonight?
HHH: Uh…hey, man. Say, how’d you get this number?
BG: It was on the business card.
HHH: Business card?
BG: Yeah man, got it right here. Says Sledgie, Interlawn Chamion of the World, and has
the number underneath it.
HHH: WHAT? When the hell did he get business cards?
BG: Oh…You didn’t know?
HHH: Damn it! OK, fine, so what did you need?
BG: Well, Kip and I are bored, figured maybe we could go do something, just the guys, ya know?
HHH: Yeah, I guess we could do that, maybe, but I’m pretty busy, what with Steph expecting and all that and…
Steph: What about me expecting?
HHH: Oh, nothing, it’s BG, he wants to know if I want to go hang out with him and Kip.
Steph: Who’s Kip?
HHH: (whispering, holding his hand over the phone’s mouthpiece) It’s Billy, he’s trying to be cool and changing his name.
Steph: Awwwww, that’s nice of him.
HHH: (in a normal voice) So, you know, I figure I can’t really go out, since you might need me here in case, you now, you’re hungry or something.
Steph: Oh don’t worry about me, I’m fine. Go, take Naitch and Sledgie, go have fun with your friends.
HHH: (covering the phone again) But I don’t want to go have fun with my friends. I don’t mind those two, but every time we go out, the other guys show up.
Steph: Listen, ever since we got the bus, I have absolutely no time to myself. You guys go out, have fun, and let me relax and watch Lifetime.
HHH: (sarcastically) Looking for some new ideas, huh?
Steph: As a matter of fact I am, and you never know where they’ll come from, so this is kind of like work.
HHH: (to Flair) Feel like hitting the bars tonight, Naitch?
Flair: Woooooooooooooooooooooo! (he Flair flops off of the futon and does the worm across the room)
Scotty: (popping out of the hall closet) That’s gimmick infringement and you know it! (he pops back in, closing the door behind him)
HHH: (to BG on the phone) OK, listen, we’ll meet you at the usual spot, ok? Just you and, um, Kip.
BG: Sure, we’ll see you there.
(HHH hangs up the phone, grabs Sledgie, and the two of them, with Flair in tow, head off to their favorite bar as the scene ends)
(Scene opens with the Trips express pulling up in front of The Friendly Tap. Trips, Flair, and Sledgie exit the bus, to find BG and Kip hanging out in front)
BG: Damn, man, nice bus. Say, is that the one we used to ride in?
HHH: Nah, that one got blown up remember?
BG: Oh yeah.
HHH: Been a while, man, what’s up Billy?
Kip: I’m not Billy, I’m KIP JAMES BITCH!
HHH: Uh, sure, sure you are…Kip, right. Is the bare packed?
BG: Nah, it’s been pretty quiet since…well, since our buddy Tim kinda…well…
HHH: What’s wrong with Tim?
BG: He’s still a little upset about the whole Hell in a Cell accident a few years ago.
HHH: Uh…he doesn’t blame me does he? Because I didn’t do anything, it was all that damn Jericho’s fault.
Snitsky: (popping out of nearby dumpster) But it wasn’t…my…fault!
HHH: No one said it was, get back in the dumpster!
Snitsky: Fine! (he drops back down and slams the lid closed
(the group enters the nearly empty bar, to find the only other patrons to be JBL and Farooq sitting quietly in a corner booth)
JBL: (downing an almost constant string of wine coolers) Man, what happened to me? I was a champion, I was on top, I was a wrestling GOD!
Farooq: (nodding sympathetically) Damn.
JBL: Now look at me. I can’t even get a title shot. I’m being upstaged by…by…Rey Mysterio and Randy…Orton (he begins to sob)
Farooq: Damn!
(at the bar, the former New Age Outlaws are already sipping drinks. BG is drinking Budweiser while Kip gingerly sips a Mojito)
HHH: (bellying up to the bar) Hey there Timmy, how’s things been going?
Tim: (says nothing, just stares blankly at Trips)
Josh: (from the other corner of the bar, where he sits with a cordless phone and a first aid kid) Tim doesn’t say much anymore, he’s been dealing with some depression.
HHH: Man, that’s horrible, Tim, is there anything I can do?
Tim: (still says nothing)
Josh: You know, it’s nice to see that Tim has such great friends. Ever since his unfortunate accident a few years ago, his life has really gone downhill. But there’s always a bright spot, right Mr. White? His wife left him, his family left him, he’s all alone. And for a while now, he’s tried over and over to kill himself, but it never works, because I always go get help. He’s one lucky guy, aren’t you Mr. White?
Tim: (to Trips) If you won’t kill me, at least kill him.
Trips: Can we get the happy hour prices on our drinks?
Tim: I suppose.
Trips: (standing and walking over to Josh) Sorry about this, kid, but we’re talking $1.99 long necks here.
Josh: Mr. White…Mr. White…this isn’t wise Mr. White, how can I go get help if…(he’s stopped when Trips smashes him in the head with Sledgie)
Tim: Thank you. Thank you very much.. (he reaches under the bar and pulls out his trusty shotgun) Help yourselves to whatever you want. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have something to do. (he walks away quietly)
(as the group pour themselves a round of drinks, Shawn Michaels walks through the front door)
HHH: Damn it, you guys said he wouldn’t be here.
Flair: Woooooooooooo!
HHH: Good point, what is he doing in a bar anyway?
Shawn: Hey guys, saw the bus outside and thought I’d stop in. You know, ever since I turned my life around, things have been great. I don’t need any of this to be happy.
HHH: Then why are you here?
Shawn: Because, I just want you to see that I’m happy, and I’m a better person now, and even I can learn from my mistakes. Hell, I even jobbed to Hogan.
HHH: What the hell does that have to do with anything?
Shawn: It was Hogan, I jobbed to him, on pay-per-view, I did the job, and it was Hogan. Don’t you get it?
HHH: No, I don’t get it, why does this –
(he is cut off when a gunshot rings through the barroom. Kip runs to the back, emerging moments later)
Shawn: What happened?
Kip: I’ve got just TWOOOOOOOOOO WORDS FOR YAAAAAAAAAAAA!
HHH: Yeah? What’s that?
Kip: He missed.
(Tim walks out of the back, head down)
Tim: I can’t believe I missed again. Damn it, damn it, damn it! It’s Matthews, I know it. Everything was fine until he came along. Damn Tough Enough kids.
Bob Holly (popping up behind the bar) Tough Enough kids?
Tim: (pointing) he’s over there.
Bob: Lemmeatem, I’ll moidalize ‘m , I’ll rip him apart, damn punk kid with his rock ‘n roll music and his crazy dancing! (Bob jumps over the bar and proceeds to pound the still unconscious Josh Matthews into a bloody, barely recognizable heap. He then stands, dusts himself off, waves, and walks out the door)
(Trips, the NAO, and Flair all proceed to get completely trashed, while Shawn stands behind them, continuing to talk about the Hogan match)
Trips: OK, what about one more round guys? (the others nod)
X-Pac (from the doorway) and it’s on us!
HHH: Damn it, how’d HE get here?
Shawn: My fault.
HHH: Your fault?
Shawn: Yeah, I told him to wait in the car?
HHH: Uh…why was he in your car?
Shawn: They needed a lift, and neither has a car, so I was giving them a ride.
HHH: Them…you don’t mean –
Chyna: (next to Pac in the doorway) Hey guys, long time no see. What, wasn’t I good enough to keep in touch with? I spend my whole life fighting and fighting, and what do I get? I get ignored. How can anyone ignore me? Society is so cruel!
BG: (whispering to Kip, Trips, and Flair) Should we drink until she’s hot?
Tim: I don’t have enough in stock for that.
(the group slowly gets up and sneaks out the side entrance, as Chyna continues to talk, unaware they’ve gone. Pac, meanwhile, stands next to her snorting lines of crushed up Certs off of the bartop)
(Scene opens with the gang in the living room. Trips is in his recliner, Flair on a futon, and Steph and Sledgie on the couch, when the phone rings. Trips answeres)
HHH: Hello, Game residence.
BG: What’s up man, it’s your old buddy the D-O-double-G, you feel like partying tonight?
HHH: Uh…hey, man. Say, how’d you get this number?
BG: It was on the business card.
HHH: Business card?
BG: Yeah man, got it right here. Says Sledgie, Interlawn Chamion of the World, and has
the number underneath it.
HHH: WHAT? When the hell did he get business cards?
BG: Oh…You didn’t know?
HHH: Damn it! OK, fine, so what did you need?
BG: Well, Kip and I are bored, figured maybe we could go do something, just the guys, ya know?
HHH: Yeah, I guess we could do that, maybe, but I’m pretty busy, what with Steph expecting and all that and…
Steph: What about me expecting?
HHH: Oh, nothing, it’s BG, he wants to know if I want to go hang out with him and Kip.
Steph: Who’s Kip?
HHH: (whispering, holding his hand over the phone’s mouthpiece) It’s Billy, he’s trying to be cool and changing his name.
Steph: Awwwww, that’s nice of him.
HHH: (in a normal voice) So, you know, I figure I can’t really go out, since you might need me here in case, you now, you’re hungry or something.
Steph: Oh don’t worry about me, I’m fine. Go, take Naitch and Sledgie, go have fun with your friends.
HHH: (covering the phone again) But I don’t want to go have fun with my friends. I don’t mind those two, but every time we go out, the other guys show up.
Steph: Listen, ever since we got the bus, I have absolutely no time to myself. You guys go out, have fun, and let me relax and watch Lifetime.
HHH: (sarcastically) Looking for some new ideas, huh?
Steph: As a matter of fact I am, and you never know where they’ll come from, so this is kind of like work.
HHH: (to Flair) Feel like hitting the bars tonight, Naitch?
Flair: Woooooooooooooooooooooo! (he Flair flops off of the futon and does the worm across the room)
Scotty: (popping out of the hall closet) That’s gimmick infringement and you know it! (he pops back in, closing the door behind him)
HHH: (to BG on the phone) OK, listen, we’ll meet you at the usual spot, ok? Just you and, um, Kip.
BG: Sure, we’ll see you there.
(HHH hangs up the phone, grabs Sledgie, and the two of them, with Flair in tow, head off to their favorite bar as the scene ends)
(Scene opens with the Trips express pulling up in front of The Friendly Tap. Trips, Flair, and Sledgie exit the bus, to find BG and Kip hanging out in front)
BG: Damn, man, nice bus. Say, is that the one we used to ride in?
HHH: Nah, that one got blown up remember?
BG: Oh yeah.
HHH: Been a while, man, what’s up Billy?
Kip: I’m not Billy, I’m KIP JAMES BITCH!
HHH: Uh, sure, sure you are…Kip, right. Is the bare packed?
BG: Nah, it’s been pretty quiet since…well, since our buddy Tim kinda…well…
HHH: What’s wrong with Tim?
BG: He’s still a little upset about the whole Hell in a Cell accident a few years ago.
HHH: Uh…he doesn’t blame me does he? Because I didn’t do anything, it was all that damn Jericho’s fault.
Snitsky: (popping out of nearby dumpster) But it wasn’t…my…fault!
HHH: No one said it was, get back in the dumpster!
Snitsky: Fine! (he drops back down and slams the lid closed
(the group enters the nearly empty bar, to find the only other patrons to be JBL and Farooq sitting quietly in a corner booth)
JBL: (downing an almost constant string of wine coolers) Man, what happened to me? I was a champion, I was on top, I was a wrestling GOD!
Farooq: (nodding sympathetically) Damn.
JBL: Now look at me. I can’t even get a title shot. I’m being upstaged by…by…Rey Mysterio and Randy…Orton (he begins to sob)
Farooq: Damn!
(at the bar, the former New Age Outlaws are already sipping drinks. BG is drinking Budweiser while Kip gingerly sips a Mojito)
HHH: (bellying up to the bar) Hey there Timmy, how’s things been going?
Tim: (says nothing, just stares blankly at Trips)
Josh: (from the other corner of the bar, where he sits with a cordless phone and a first aid kid) Tim doesn’t say much anymore, he’s been dealing with some depression.
HHH: Man, that’s horrible, Tim, is there anything I can do?
Tim: (still says nothing)
Josh: You know, it’s nice to see that Tim has such great friends. Ever since his unfortunate accident a few years ago, his life has really gone downhill. But there’s always a bright spot, right Mr. White? His wife left him, his family left him, he’s all alone. And for a while now, he’s tried over and over to kill himself, but it never works, because I always go get help. He’s one lucky guy, aren’t you Mr. White?
Tim: (to Trips) If you won’t kill me, at least kill him.
Trips: Can we get the happy hour prices on our drinks?
Tim: I suppose.
Trips: (standing and walking over to Josh) Sorry about this, kid, but we’re talking $1.99 long necks here.
Josh: Mr. White…Mr. White…this isn’t wise Mr. White, how can I go get help if…(he’s stopped when Trips smashes him in the head with Sledgie)
Tim: Thank you. Thank you very much.. (he reaches under the bar and pulls out his trusty shotgun) Help yourselves to whatever you want. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have something to do. (he walks away quietly)
(as the group pour themselves a round of drinks, Shawn Michaels walks through the front door)
HHH: Damn it, you guys said he wouldn’t be here.
Flair: Woooooooooooo!
HHH: Good point, what is he doing in a bar anyway?
Shawn: Hey guys, saw the bus outside and thought I’d stop in. You know, ever since I turned my life around, things have been great. I don’t need any of this to be happy.
HHH: Then why are you here?
Shawn: Because, I just want you to see that I’m happy, and I’m a better person now, and even I can learn from my mistakes. Hell, I even jobbed to Hogan.
HHH: What the hell does that have to do with anything?
Shawn: It was Hogan, I jobbed to him, on pay-per-view, I did the job, and it was Hogan. Don’t you get it?
HHH: No, I don’t get it, why does this –
(he is cut off when a gunshot rings through the barroom. Kip runs to the back, emerging moments later)
Shawn: What happened?
Kip: I’ve got just TWOOOOOOOOOO WORDS FOR YAAAAAAAAAAAA!
HHH: Yeah? What’s that?
Kip: He missed.
(Tim walks out of the back, head down)
Tim: I can’t believe I missed again. Damn it, damn it, damn it! It’s Matthews, I know it. Everything was fine until he came along. Damn Tough Enough kids.
Bob Holly (popping up behind the bar) Tough Enough kids?
Tim: (pointing) he’s over there.
Bob: Lemmeatem, I’ll moidalize ‘m , I’ll rip him apart, damn punk kid with his rock ‘n roll music and his crazy dancing! (Bob jumps over the bar and proceeds to pound the still unconscious Josh Matthews into a bloody, barely recognizable heap. He then stands, dusts himself off, waves, and walks out the door)
(Trips, the NAO, and Flair all proceed to get completely trashed, while Shawn stands behind them, continuing to talk about the Hogan match)
Trips: OK, what about one more round guys? (the others nod)
X-Pac (from the doorway) and it’s on us!
HHH: Damn it, how’d HE get here?
Shawn: My fault.
HHH: Your fault?
Shawn: Yeah, I told him to wait in the car?
HHH: Uh…why was he in your car?
Shawn: They needed a lift, and neither has a car, so I was giving them a ride.
HHH: Them…you don’t mean –
Chyna: (next to Pac in the doorway) Hey guys, long time no see. What, wasn’t I good enough to keep in touch with? I spend my whole life fighting and fighting, and what do I get? I get ignored. How can anyone ignore me? Society is so cruel!
BG: (whispering to Kip, Trips, and Flair) Should we drink until she’s hot?
Tim: I don’t have enough in stock for that.
(the group slowly gets up and sneaks out the side entrance, as Chyna continues to talk, unaware they’ve gone. Pac, meanwhile, stands next to her snorting lines of crushed up Certs off of the bartop)
