|
Post by Alex Shelley on Nov 13, 2011 6:00:13 GMT -5
They did a study that showed that men who use the "pick up artist" stuff are more likely to be sexist toward women, and that the women who go along with it also tend to be more sexist toward women. I mean, the whole thing is based on finding women with low self esteem, isn't it? You can't just get any type of women, you're getting a certain type of woman who is predisposed to fall for the tricks in the book.
Sure, it may work, but it's not teaching you confidence, it's teaching how to get one night stands, which can boost your confidence sure, but it's still not teaching you how to attract women as far as relationships go, and much of the attitudes that the book encourages are going to make women run far, far away.
I'd love to actually go through the book, read it fully, and do an in-depth review of exactly why it's so problematic, creepy, and sexist, but I'm not giving that clown any money. Keep in mind that I have no qualms with hookups and one night stands, but if somebody is looking for a relationship, that book and its attitudes toward women is the LAST thing they need.
|
|
Mozenrath
FANatic
Foppery and Whim
Speedy Speed Boy
Posts: 121,126
|
Post by Mozenrath on Nov 13, 2011 6:02:12 GMT -5
It could produce short term results, but ultimately it might not be great for someone's esteem to see themselves as a user of people. Not having read the book, I can't say for sure that'd be the case, but it'd be a concern. Seriously? User of people? Some of us are very judgmental tonight. I'd suggest you actually read it before you start labeling people as such. It's not really being judgmental when the express, admitted purpose of the method is to undermine the woman's self esteem and to try to manipulate her and the situation to your advantage. That is the whole mission statement, so while I haven't read the book, they are pretty up front about what the idea is. Sorry if you think I am looking at it unfairly but if you use people in such a fashion, it's not really a hop, skip, and a jump into looking or feeling like a user.
|
|
theryno665
Grimlock
wants a title underneath the stars
Kinda Homeless
Posts: 13,571
|
Post by theryno665 on Nov 13, 2011 8:31:14 GMT -5
I actually have read The Mystery Method. What I got out of it was that he makes some very GOOD points and some very BAD ones. I was reading a good chunk of those books and trying to blend them all together. I suggest The Game by Neil Strauss, which is the story about how he learned from Mystery and ended up surpassing him as the best Pickup Artist. But it also shows that Mystery and the whole PUA scene isn't all it's cracked up to be either.
And while we're here, I did try to get on the Pickup Artist TV show on Season 2 and actually came pretty close but I've told that story millions of times already.
And to the guy who says to incorporate my dating frustrations into my stand-up routine, I do. Usually it's not my whole act but I do have some good bits about it. However, I've noticed that I end up with too many jokes about masturbation, and the fact that I have pretty much no jokes about actual dating. I get laughs but I'm sure the women aren't all about hearing that kind of thing and probably pre-judge me as such. But ah well, write what you know, am I right?
|
|
Dat Dude
Dennis Stamp
Wait, what?
Posts: 4,785
|
Post by Dat Dude on Nov 13, 2011 13:00:41 GMT -5
And to the guy who says to incorporate my dating frustrations into my stand-up routine, I do. Usually it's not my whole act but I do have some good bits about it. However, I've noticed that I end up with too many jokes about masturbation, and the fact that I have pretty much no jokes about actual dating. I get laughs but I'm sure the women aren't all about hearing that kind of thing and probably pre-judge me as such. But ah well, write what you know, am I right? There's no such thing as too many masturbation jokes lol. Virtually every comedian I can think of has done a long string of them at some point of another (especially Joe Rogan). And who cares what the ladies in the audience think about it? I'd assume that not all of your colleagues on the stand-up circuit are picking up ladies after their set either. Your a stand-up, it takes a lot of guts to keep getting up on stage like that. And that's the biggest display of confidence in oneself that I can think of.
|
|
|
Post by Starshine on Nov 13, 2011 17:37:40 GMT -5
I actually have read The Mystery Method. What I got out of it was that he makes some very GOOD points and some very BAD ones. I was reading a good chunk of those books and trying to blend them all together. I suggest The Game by Neil Strauss, which is the story about how he learned from Mystery and ended up surpassing him as the best Pickup Artist. But it also shows that Mystery and the whole PUA scene isn't all it's cracked up to be Yeah i've read the game too. It was really interesting, but I didn't feel i got as much out of it. And your point about good points and bad points in TMM is spot on, hense my point about what you choose to take out on it. Since you're a comedian, maybe you'd find it easier to Work some sort of routine that promotes your personality besides the comedian who tells masturbation jokes. It could well be a case where the way you present yourself blurs the line between your personality and your work as a comedian to the point where women are struggling to take you seriously. You seem like a pretty smart and well adjusted guy. I suspect your problems aren't with you personally, but how you approach and engage them.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2011 6:27:41 GMT -5
I did the whole "focus on yourself" thing in high school after a bad breakup. Started junior year fresh and decided to not worry about chicks. Met a very nice girl at the end of the school year and was with her for about 1.5 years.
Of course, the breakup was messy and we aren't even friends now. Have hardly interacted with a girl since.
|
|
|
Post by FUNK_US/BRODUS on Nov 14, 2011 8:26:09 GMT -5
I recommend anyone with women trouble to read The Mystery Method. Okay yes, it's a book designed to help you sleep with women. But it's also a really good book to help anyone work on their self confidence and how to approach people which IMO is invaluable. I recommend NOT reading that book. It's awful s***e. I skimmed through it at a bookstore and found almost everything in there complete bulls*** at best, and misogynistic as hell at worst. Yeah, as a single man, I have zero intent on ever following any of the "pickup artist" bullshit.
|
|
|
Post by HMARK Center on Nov 14, 2011 12:22:15 GMT -5
The "pick up artist" scene is a mixed bag. They make some good general points, and a lot of it boils down to "what are your own personal strengths? Emphasize them!", which is always a sound policy.
Where it gets tough is walking the line between giving that advice, to show off and emphasize what's already there in your personality/skills/appearance/etc., and advising a person to simply be what they're not. At that point, the person seeking advice is back to square one, putting on a "character" to meet women.
The reality is that there is no grand secret; even among guys who are sometimes successful, you're going to run into a high failure rate. It's like baseball: get a hit 30% of the time, make an out 70% of the time, you still wind up in Cooperstown. And for picking up women, or even just meeting/dating them, 30% is a damn high percentage.
The best way to find success, in my experience, is to have a circle of friends who go out and who are social, and to join them when they go out. Obviously it won't work if its a group of people you don't really enjoy hanging with, or they go places you can't stand, but even just a circle of friends who'll go to a decent bar/club, who'll hit up an event where lots of people will be, even a group of guys who go to a bunch of sporting events, etc.
Automatically, you gain strength in numbers, and by being around your friends you act more openly and authentically, showing off your personality better. By having those numbers, you also make for a more enticing group to hang out with if you meet new people.
The coup d'grace, I've found, is when you have women who are friends who you hang out with. Not for nothing, but I have a good looking neighbor who I'm friends with, and it's amazing how good a "wingman" she makes by just being there. I suppose it shows other women "Oh, he's ok, or she wouldn't be hanging with him."
Of course, this doesn't negate the need to be able to handle yourself one-on-one with a woman in conversation or what have you, but they're just ways to make initiation of said conversation easier to attain.
|
|